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Draft of an Experimental Video About Contagion (Patreon)

Published:
2020-03-31 04:37:13
Imported:
2021-02

Content

I'm not really sure what to say about this one beyond the fact that it's possibly even more "out there" than my CATS video.

I really need feedback on the audio. I'm not sure if I like my delivery, I'm not sure if it needs background music (I'm inclined towards "yes" but music takes me forever to choose), and I'm not sure about the compression and processing.

I'm open to making a lot of changes up to and including basically scrapping the video as a public posting.

Files

I Can't Stop Watching Contagion DRAFT 01

Clickbait Title: Written and performed by Dan Olson Crowdfunding: https://www.patreon.com/foldablehuman Twitter: https://twitter.com/FoldableHuman

Comments

Anonymous

I love this man! Audio is good and I don't think you need to add any music.

Anonymous

I really enjoy just the plain audio ontop of the footage. It feels really personal

Anonymous

I *really* like the visual style. Especially because it was like a mirror, as I am lying down in basically the same way watching the video. The audio is fine, I'd say. The delivery and monotone style really fits the visuals. The "this quarantine is already going on for quite a while, and will still take quite a while* dread most of us can probably feel in some way or another. Music would detract from that. At most maybe a very subtle drone or hum

Anonymous

I don't think it needs background music—the silence makes it feel simultaneously confessional and claustrophobic, which I think suits the content very well. I could imagine it playing nicely with some old-fashioned movie reel sounds going in the background? Preserves the intimacy and the eeriness without feeling too empty, if that's what you're worried about. And definitely don't scrap it—I need you & your writerliness to articulate all of the wild and contradictory thoughts that are bouncing around my skull all day. :P

Anonymous

This was both incredibly good and also an incredibly stressful watch, and I think it's precisely because of the lack of music and your delivery. raw nerve indeed.

Anonymous

I don't think you need music. Your delivery is fine. You should be proud of this: it's good, it's important, it's timely and it's honest.

Joe G

Even though I've been following these events since the beginning of the year and even though my level of privilege has let me continue to work and support my family while locked down for the past two weeks, your delivery made this situation feel more real than anything else I've read, seen, or heard. I don't know if I should praise your skill or condemn you for dragging me into the haze of anxiety with you. I think it's really good.

Anonymous

I think this is really good. Don't worry about music. The entire video has an ache that would be lessened if it was changed. And just on a more personal note, as a disabled person myself, this really captures the aching, screaming fear I've had for the last 2+ weeks. This perfectly encapsulates the fear i had having to buy my aide basic things for her job and wondering what the hell i'm going to do when the day comes that she is unable to.

Anonymous

I don't know if it would be better or worse with music. But it's a video I hope you share with everyone else. Uh, I spend a lot of solitary time at home too and your video really expressed my confusion at feeling so weird and bad. I'm happier working from home than the office - the office is a sensory hell for me - but I can't stop reading and watching the news. I uh, probably shouldn't watch contagion. Anyway, thanks for making this, whatever you choose to do with it.

Anonymous

Definitely don't scrap it. I think it is quite well-written and definitely captures all of these bizarre anxious feelings we've all been experiencing amidst the quarantine. I understand the inclination to use music but the fact that it's one-take with no cuts (or at least it looks that way, though you're largely frozen throughout) makes me think no option could really work. Like...maybe start with music and have it fade out? But that seems awkward. Maybe a subtle drone or hum? But 15 min of that could get grating. I think your best bet is to have no music. Lastly, I think the delivery is fine but the audio seems a bit bass-heavy to me. Maybe that's just my speakers/headphones but it seems you can drop the bass down a bit. I can also see what you're saying about the compression, perhaps you can ease up on it. But I find this to be a really powerful piece and I love the concept at the heart of it. Please, please release it.

Anonymous

Just because you asked: 1. Music: yes. As I kept watching, the OST from "And the Band Played On" kept playing in my head: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZK8pVZNSUw (that's my "Contagion". That and "How to Survive a Plague"). 2. I like your delivery. And you could sound a bit more 'numb' (not sure it's the right word, language barrier) if you wanted to. But this. I mean. F***. I'm not even sure I have the right to comment on anything about this piece. It's powerful. And I... felt uncomfortable. I felt I was spying on your most intimate journal entry without your permission (even within this space). That takes craft. I am not going to congratulate you on such a personal piece because that would be ridiculous (even if it totally merits it). I will confess, though, that I cried; and felt an urge to hold my husband very tight. And wish nothing, nothing but the best for you and loved ones. Thank you. Stay safe.

Anonymous

This video was really, really good and it made me feel really, really bad.

Jamin Shih

This is absolutely stunning work. Everything from the prose to the "projection" of footage overlayed on a near motionless but moving shot is breathtaking. I really don't think it needs music. Music I think would give it a sense of comfort and safety that doesn't jive with the tone in the sense that it'd be a recognizable, comfortable cinematic element that reminds the audience they're watching a production. Without music, it feels more impactful. Granted, I guess if the idea of providing that audience distance is to mirror the safe boundedness of Contagion, that could be a point, but I personally think not having that element makes it hit home harder.

Anonymous

Excellent stuff, Dan. It feels right the way it is, sans music.

Anonymous

I didn't know I needed this, but I really did. I keep listening and reading friends and family obsessing over being under quarantine while I am getting out of the house for work with a bag full of PPE, sunshine in my back while I cycle on empty streets and I've been feeling alienated from my loved ones, and yet this stranger on the other side of the world is articulating the feelings I do have about this pandemic and how I'm coping in this weird new world. This is truly a piece of art in a way I rarely see. I'm on the side of "no music" for the piece, the delivery is perfect as it is, raw as the subject we're dealing with.

Edward Clayton Andrews

As is, it's as raw as the nerve and therefore close to perfect.

Anonymous

I cranked the volume, I think the audio technically sounds fine, maybe a bit flatter than usual (but maybe that was because I was looking for problems) but I don't think that works against the piece, nor does the delivery. As far as background music/sound, that's always something I have trouble imagining but it always tends to be the better for it - but maybe like a kind of white noise or static kind of thing? The audio cues of vacancy or abandonment with being silence?

Anonymous

It feels right. I think the lack of music makes it feel honest, as does your delivery, and I would worry that laboring over it might not help. There’s also a minimalist aesthetic that I think is probably going to come out of all this that’s well represented here, especially in the audio.

Anonymous
>>34460128

Yes. I feel like this is as close as we’ve come to seeing Dan’s unfiltered thought process. That might not be true, but it feels like it, and it’s what matters for this.

Anonymous

For the music, I think it comes down to what you want this video to be in terms of what you're discussing. The addition of background elements makes the video more dramatic and more fictionalized. Obviously the whole thing is scripted, shot, edited and stylized, but any music would be an additional element to that, one that further changes it from a confession to a Youtube video. Is this video supposed to be like Contagion, a piece of media that is bounded and ends, a comfort to process emotions and then handle life? Or is it supposed to be a snapshot of your personal feelings in the midst of global chaos? That decision is for you, I think. But the opening statement, that this not an essay but a raw nerve, says to me that this not only doesn't need music, but the element would detract. Overall, I agree with the comments that this is a gut-punch. Good job.

Anonymous

I have to say that I think the lack of music works well, at least for me. Not having a score or soundtrack to help guide my emotional process was a dissonant, unsettling experience, one that works well with the topic and feel of the video.

Anonymous

Honestly, I think it works. Like someone else said, the lack of music was unsettling in a way that really hit home. I also think the simple visuals do more for the subject matter than your usual format would. This is just a personal note, but I very much connect with your At-Risk Anxiety. I also have a long history of respiratory illness and I'm pregnant now on top of it. I've spent plenty of days in the last 2 weeks lying in the couch in pretty much the exact same position as you are in the video, unable to tear myself away from the TV. So I find this video and the anxiety portrayed in it *highly* relatable.

Anonymous

This is pretty good presentation, its cool seeing you try new things. I don’t have respiratory issues, but I’m currently living in northern Italy, right in the middle of where the infections are happening. I think your video speaks to a lot of the anxieties that many of us feel. Stay safe and try your best to keep your head up.

Anonymous

I am conflicted about what type of feedback to give. I started watching the video with the intent of criticizing the audio, but I quickly became absorbed in watching the video. When I was done watching, I remembered that I was supposed to be looking for problems, so I replayed the video. I ended up just watching it again. I know that I am not an expert on making these videos, and therefore part of me suspects that there might be ways to change the audio and make this video much better. Maybe, for example, there is a great choice of background music that would take this good video and elevate it to a great video. This video appeals to me as it is, but I am part of the small demographic of Folding Ideas Patreon supporters. Maybe there are changes that would make this video appealing to a much wider audience. Maybe there are changes that would make you more proud of the video. I’m not confident about what those changes would be though. I also believe that you probably enjoy trying to solve the creative problem of finding the perfect background music and editing the video together so that the background music, dialogue, and visuals all work together. Most of your recent videos are vlogs or essays which don’t have background music, so this experimental video presents an opportunity for you to do something a little different and practice different skills. Maybe it will be fun (in a stressful way) to try adding background music to this video. I am always in support of Dan Olson having fun. But part of me really likes this video as it is and wants to give the feedback “Don’t draw a snake and add legs to it.” I enjoy your delivery, and your narration effectively dictates the beats of the video, in part because it is the only audio in the video. I don’t know what the best possible version of this video looks like. But I do know that I really like this version. I am excited to see what "I Can't Stop Watching Contagion DRAFT 02" looks like. I hope that helps.

Anonymous

i also like the lack of music, but maybe something atonal or industrial if you'd really like. Just the sounds of outside without people or wind going through broken windows on a very soft level, mostly to continue the feelings of claustrophobia and confession that somebody else mentioned. But otherwise, I really loved the style. If I had any thoughts, I could do with a touch longer on the silence with black screen projector parts, but that's just me. I like how that part reinforces the leitmotif.

Anonymous
>>34479378

Yeah, I think some of the transitions are maybe rushed a biiiit? some brief periods of dead air would probably work well. Idk, I gotta watch it again to figure it out, and idk if I'll have time for that before you post it.

Anonymous

Obviously in comparison to your usual audio, I definitely notice a difference. However, my tech knowledge is pitiful so I can't offer advice in that regard. I will say, though, that I love that you're beginning to push the boundaries more in terms of your delivery and visuals. The way you're laid, prone on the couch has a Fight Club style aesthetic to it - the dispondence in the face of a personal or global catastrophe that's very familiar to almost everyone at this point. Your delivery, is, as always, fine. The way you speak is incredibly compelling and I often find myself rewatching your videos countless times because I always feel like I'm learning or hearing something new. There's layers to your script that I find very impressive, and this shows through here as well. I've watched this video twice and the only thing I actually have to critique is the quality of the audio. Visually it's powerfully. Textually it's powerful. CONtextually it's powerful. In terms of the addition of background music - I don't think that's necessary. I like the way that your voice cuts through here. However, I do think that foley and ambient noise might work very powerfully. In the same way a radio drama would not have background music behind dialogue, but it would have ambient noise - I feel this could add to the mystique and themes of the video. I think that the content of this video is something we could all do with at this point in time, and to limit it only to your patreons is to limit a conversation that's very worth having. I know multiple people who have been rewatching Contagion, just as you have and I think that people deserve to see this. I'm excited to see where you can take it!

Chris Emmett

I think the audio is fine and as others have mentioned, the lack of a music track works. I do wonder if something like chapter cards would let the video breathe a little better though. Just a few seconds to give the viewer a moment to really take in the points before moving to the next might make it easier for those to land.

Anonymous

I think the mostly flat delivery actually works in the scripts favor, given the subject matter, like a doctor trying to give a very frank discussion of a very serious topic. I think the right music track would really elevate it, but it's have to be pitch-perfect.

Uneducated & Enthused

I can’t critique this video. Watching it made my chest tight and my eyes burn and it hit me viscerally much the same way one of the daily news I’d been watching finally broke me down where I couldn’t stop crying all night. To me, it is perfect, it is real, and it is far too painful. The form serves the function, verisimilitudinous to the frame of mind & flow of thoughts streaming steadily without pause, without breaks, without comfort.

Anonymous

I think the audio is good as it is; I'm not sure it needs music. It was plenty captivating without it.

Anonymous

I only have one very small factual critique that I'm not sure really matters--the fish tank cleaner didn't contain chloroquine, it contained chloroquine phosphate, which is different. But the couple ingested it because they saw "chloroquine" on the bottle and they felt desperate. Again, I'm not sure the distinction matters much...

Anonymous

Great video. I think the flatness of the audio works really well with the visual... Maybe not music through the whole thing, but accents that ebb and flow at key moments as subtle breaks in the text? Or is that not sutble and just kinda tacky? And maybe that's even more of a pain than just picking a background track, sorry. See, I help. I'm helpful.

Anonymous

This video was the most physically upsetting thing I think I've ever seen. I feel like it stabbed me in the stomach. This is art. You should be prouder of this than you've been of... anything, I think. You should expect this to be shared in a lot of places by a lot of people- it's what you deserve. Thank you, Dan. I see you and hear you and hold space for you, and it feels good to have the same.

Anonymous

Something my guitar teacher told me once: "Music isn't playing the most notes, or the hardest phrases, it's about finding out how to play the right notes, and no more." Overall the mix sounds fine from a technical PoV, you could probably punch it up here or there, another EQ pass or tweak of whatever, but I think this "Plays the right notes." The eerie quiet, the deliberate pace of delivery, it reinforces the right feeling for this. There's an element of horror, almost, you're stuck in this peridestructive loop of watching this bounded disaster, it's not harmful, it's not helpful, it just is what's happening. The flat affect of your narration reinforces that it's real, the Video equivalent of a stripped down acoustic cover. I like it.

Anonymous

Amazing work, Dan, thank you!

Anonymous

This is fantastic! Agreed with others audio was fine, and conceptually pretty much great (although chapters or some sort of on screen text might have helped)

Anonymous

Take care Dan. Let me encourage you to get out and walk around the block a bit (in off hours to avoid others of course) and anything you can do that is helpful to others can be amazingly helpful to self. Call your family daily, if only for a minute or two. Deliver some groceries for others or let someone deliver some to you. Of course I am struggling to do any of these things myself, but I at least have a few other people in the house to make me more of a team-member rather than a loner compared to many others' situations.