The Peril of Sonic Claus (Sonic the Hedgehog) (Patreon)

Sonic was snoring and drooling, sprawled out unconscious in a shopping cart down to just a half buttoned dress shirt and a pair of pee soaked light blue tighty whities with yellow stars on them.

How did he end up like this?

Well, it was a pretty succinct tale about the age old pastime of last minute Christmas shopping.

Sonic’s eyes were fluttering open and he began wondering where he was and how he got here. As if like a brick was smashing him upside the head, he began to recall the events rather clearly.

—

“GAH! I’m almost out of time!” Sonic shouted, rushing through the snow as he made his way into the Station Square Mall.

He couldn’t believe this. He was basically Sonic Claus on Christmas. He was the best gift giver ever because he was always so fast.

Yet, here he was on Christmas Eve looking for a gift for Amy.

He had promised he would spend Christmas Eve with her this year and had gotten all dressed up for it. Unfortunately, he wasn’t too savvy about what he had gotten done this year and thus, when Tails saw him getting ready and asked the big question, “Are you delivering Amy’s present personally?” Sonic’s response was to smile like a dope and begin sweating.

He then said, “Yup! Yuppers! I’ve got it all figured out! Tonight is going to be the best night for the two of us. No problem! Excuse me though. I’ve gotta get over there faster. She’s waiting for me after all. See ya!”

He didn’t even wait for a reply as he bolted out of the house and made his way through the snow towards the mall.

He overshot a little bit and ended up entering the place with his jacket undone. Still, he wasn’t too worried. He at least knew what she wanted this year.

A nice embroidered, white teddy bear with a heart strapped between its paws that had “Merry Christmas, Sweetie-Pie” on it. It was the Christmas Sweetie-Snow Bear and they were all the rage this holiday season.

With demand that high, surely they’d have a ton of stock left.

You would think.

Sonic zipped from store to store, feeling his panic increase with each gust of wind that wafted by and blew up the dresses of the girls passing by on accident.

Eventually he slid on his knees inside of a toy store and put his hands in the air with a loud shout of, “COME ON! THERE ISN’T A SINGLE ONE LEFT?!”

What kind of a mall is this? He probably should have ordered online like a normal person. No one saw fit to actually go out shopping nowadays, right?

Sonic sat on his knees, looking all silly and dramatic, before his eyes trained themselves ahead.

As if glowing brightly, centered in the middle of a shelf he saw the Sweetie-Snow Bear in question. It was surrounded by a ton of empty space which had to mean that this was the last one.

“Aww yeah! This is happenin’!” Sonic grinned, shooting to his feet with his fist clenched.

He zipped over towards the shelf and with a hand outreached, successfully snagged the toy!

“Haha! Got it!” Sonic laughed as he held it in his hands. “I got the last one!”

“HEY!” An annoyed voice reached his ears behind him.

He perked up and turned around to see a little girl in a cute light blue shirt and black shorts. She was a yellow pronghorn and she looked rather upset.

“Y-Yes… girl?” Sonic asked, feeling as though he knew where this was headed.

“That’s mine! I saw it first!” She snapped.

Sonic sighed. “Listen kid, I’m in a bit of a rush right now. I can’t do this finders keepers thing with you. Any other day I’d give it up but I really need to keep this gift.”

“Nuh-uh! My eyes saw it first which means it’s legally mine!” She snapped.

Sonic raised a brow. “What’s your name?”

“Mariann!” She stomped her foot. “Don’t change the subject! I know your type! You’s a big ol’ dollie lover. You want to hump that teddy don’tcha! Well, I won’t let ya!”

Sonic blushed rather intensely. “WHAT?! Listen, Mari or whatever, that’s ridiculous. This is a gift! Where did you even learn that kind of stuff anyway?”

“I’m not telling a thief my life story!” She snapped. “Give me the bear!”

“Ugh!” Sonic rolled his eyes. “Well, you can forget about me being nice and helping you find a different one then. You’re clearly a brat who doesn’t deserve it,” He said, holding the doll away from her.

Sonic then turned around to try and reach the counter but was shocked when the little girl began poking her finger at his butt.

With a blush, Sonic snapped and turned back around to face her, his hands still holding the toy away from the weird child. “HEY! No touching people’s butts you weirdo!”

When Sonic shouted that, Mariann reached over and knocked the toy into the air from Sonic’s hands.

“HEY!” Sonic yelped when this happened too.

“Is that all you can say?” She asked, snatching the toy out of mid-air when she jumped and then turning on her heels to bolt towards the counter first.

“Oh no you don’t–!” Sonic spun to race after her but face planted on the floor! “GURF!”

The girl began laughing and pointed back at Sonic when she saw him fall like an idiot.

Sonic poked his head up and looked behind him with a gasp. He saw that he had been pantsed and his colorful, star patterned underoos were on open display.

Sonic growled with a blush on his face. He stood up and grabbed at his pants, looking down with an attempt to hike them up.

However, with his butt sticking out he didn’t notice that Mariann had circled back around with a cart in her iron grip.

With a heavy giggle at the edge of her voice she mowed right into Sonic’s caboose, surprising him and sending him spiraling into the air before landing harshly into the shopping cart.

His pants had been left behind along with his jacket in the ensuing rush!

“YEEEEEEK!” Sonic screamed, grabbing the edges of the cart as they rushed down the aisle together. “STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

The little girl giggled even more. “Having fun! Let’s play bumper cars Mr. Hump-A-Teddy!”

“I DO NOT HUMP TEDDY BE—AAAAAH!” Sonic screamed when he looked ahead and saw a wall of electronics headed their way.

She had no reason to stop so she didn’t.

The cart smashed into the wall, sending Sonic forward and making his face and chin bash against the large screen televisions and the heavy stereos.

He flopped over as one of them fell down from the highest shelf.

Sonic shook his head to clear away the dizziness before he witnessed a huge shadow looming overhead.

His eyes widened and he yelled in fear before a loud crash happened.

His vision got dark…

—

… And that’s how he ended up HERE!

Sonic’s eyes widened as he examined his surroundings.

He was still sitting in the cart but his head hurt really bad.

Also, he had wet himself.

Sonic blushed and scrambled to stand up in the cart, tugging his shirt down with a grumble.

“Dammit…! I swear, when I see that little girl I’m gonna… wait…! How long was I out?!”

Sonic looked around the mess around him and clamped his hands against his head. “I was too late! She made off with the last toy! NOOOO!”

Sonic scrambled out of the cart and shot down towards the counter in just his soaked undies and unbuttoned white dress shirt. He looked like a little kid that needed help getting dressed for church.

One that also had a potty accident.

It went without saying that his state of dress didn’t impress the clerk. In fact, she had been alerted by a little girl that there was a teddy humping little boy in the back where the stereo crashed just minutes earlier. She was about to head on over to check it out but here he was apparently.

“Did you see a dumb little brat pass by here with a teddy!” Sonic exclaimed, looking a little crazed.

The clerk snorted. “Yes, but I’m not telling you where she is. You’re not getting your hands on that bear. No toy humping is allowed in this store.”

“I’M NOT A–!” Sonic stomped his foot, face flared up with intense heat. He stopped when a deer woman in a dress behind him put a hand to her mouth and gasped. Sonic turned to look behind him and saw her shocked face.

He then suddenly seemed to remember what his state of dress was and blushed. With a goofy, embarrassed smile, he covered himself with both his hands.

“No playing with yourself in this store either,” The clerk narrowed her eyes at him.

“N-No! I wasn’t–!” Sonic gasped.

“Your briefs are clearly wet!” She challenged.

“That’s lemonade not milk!” Sonic snapped, shaking his fists at her.

“Don’t believe you,” Was her retort.

“Well, unless you want to come over here and smell my crotch then you can just believe me dumb lady!” Sonic clenched his fists and blew a raspberry at her.

With his tongue out and spewing spit everywhere, the deer lady behind him had seen enough.

She reached down and lifted Sonic up by his armpits, which definitely surprised him. He had no frame of reference for what this action was supposed to entail. That was until she explained herself.

“Enough,” The deer woman spoke. “You’re clearly a little lost toddler in a toy store. I can tell by your state of dress, the way you act, and your less than secure bladder. Come. I work at a daycare down the street. We’ll get you settled in and call your mommy.”

“WHAT?!” Sonic blushed harder. “NO! Get off of me, weird lady! AGH!” Sonic scrambled and flailed about in her grip.

It was hard to do this. She took him out of the toy store and exposed him in front of everyone in the mall like this which made Sonic let out another screech of embarrassment.

He had no choice but to escape via his dress shirt!

With the eyes of the mall trained on him, be they little kids, teens his age, or disgruntled adults, Sonic was getting a heaping helping of humiliation he didn’t ask for here.

With a powerful grunt, he yanked as hard as he could and eventually managed to rip his way out of his dress shirt.

“HAHA! I DID IT!” Sonic did a double fist pump, down to just his wet briefs, socks, and shoes.

Well, he lost his shoes next thanks to what happened next.

When he yanked himself out of the lady’s grip, he didn’t exactly watch where he was currently. He ended up falling forward and bashing his tummy against the railing of the third story walkway of the mall. Sonic’s eyes bugged out and he spewed more drool out of his mouth.

He then slowly began to slip forward with his feet banging against the railing and making them come off right as he toppled over.

“AAAAAAAAAH!” Sonic yelled, tears in his eyes and arms and legs flailing about as he plummeted from so high up and landed hard against the tile floor!

He was unconscious yet again with cracks surrounding him.

The only sound he made was of more hissing from his ever loosened bladder.

—

Sonic groaned when his eyes fluttered awake again.

“Where am I now…?” Sonic felt weird. He could see that it was lightly snowing outside and he felt a tad warm.

His butt felt like it was being lowered on some really soft padding.

Sonic then blinked and his eyes got even bigger.

That didn’t feel right actually!

He looked ahead and saw the deer woman smiling down at him. “Oh? You’re awake. Nothing to worry about deary. I’m just getting you into your diaper.”

Sonic looked stunned.

His small pupils traveled down towards his exposed crotch and his super tiny winkie on display. The other toddlers in the room were giggling and pointing at him as he laid there with his legs and butt raised over the Sesame Street diaper.

It almost made him start peeing again from sheer embarrassment.

“Lady…! I’m not a–!” Sonic began before a pacifier was shoved into his mouth. His eyes crossed and he sucked on it twice, finding it so unbelievable that he was even in this predicament.

He just wanted to buy a teddy bear!

“Now then, stay calm while I finish this…” She smiled and powdered his front down. After that, she got the diaper taped up.

Sonic was then lifted by his armpits and put over her shoulder, carried like a true baby towards a crib.

Sonic’s wide eyes got even bigger when he got a clear look outside.

He could see the ice-skating rink and the large Christmas Tree at the center of it. Tons of people were there including–!

“AMY!” Sonic gasped, the pacifier falling out of his mouth. It was shoved back in almost instantly, which made her grumble.

But that was Amy! She was in her winter outfit and at the ice skating rink with Cream, Cheese, Tails, and it looked like Knuckles.

“Oh great…!” Sonic snarled when he was set inside the crib.

He crossed his arms with a pout and sucked on his pacifier while looking ahead.

Gripping the bars, he snarled with anger. He missed his Christmas date and failed to get Amy a present. Now he was going to miss out on hanging out with his friends? Not likely!

Sonic smirked when he finally saw the woman leave. With a careful sneaky set of actions, he crawled out of the crib and flopped onto his diapered butt.

This made the toddlers and babies laugh at him even more.

Sonic blushed but didn’t have time to defend himself. He needed to get over there.

“What was that sound–?” The lady asked, seemingly about to return.

Sonic’s heart thumped!

No! No way! He had to go!

Sonic didn’t think this through properly and scrambled for the door. He managed to unlock it and rushed out, slamming it shut before rushing past the sidewalk and across the street.

“A-Amy! Wait! It’s meeEEAAAAH!” Sonic was going too fast and the road was slippery and covered with ice.

He hit the wall separating him from the ice-rink below and toppled over it.

With a smash, he landed on his head.

There he was, diaper butt sticking up with nothing but a bib and some baby booties on.

“Hey! Look at this loser!” One of the kids riding around stopped to take a look at Sonic’s butt.

“Hahaha! He must have been streaking in this diaper and fell over!” Another boy said, grabbing Sonic by the waistband of the diaper and hiking it forward and then upward!

“HEEEEEK! DIAPER WEDGIEEEEEE!” Sonic shouted and danced in place.

“He shouts wedgie when he gets wedgie’d! Awesome!” The first kid said, pulling back the waistband like a slingshot.

“NO! WAIT! PLEASE! STOP! I’M JUST TRYING TO–!” Sonic pleaded, tearing up and hands clasped together in a begging motion. He couldn’t take any more!

Too bad!

The kid let go and Sonic screamed in fear as he was shot towards the Christmas Tree!

BASH!

The poor boy smacked against the star on top and fumbled over, eyes now anime spirals of pain.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, his diaper latched onto it so that he didn’t fall all the way down.

With stars circling his head and his tongue out, he wasn’t able to do anything about the position he was in.

That’s when the news reporting started.

After all, this was a lovely Christmas Eve where everyone was having fun around the largest Christmas Tree in the city.

The Station Square news trained the camera on the tree as the female reporter began reporting and talking about all the fun people were having here.

“Of course, this would have been so much more fun if Sonic were here,” Amy said, as she stood by the side of the ice rink, looking disappointed.

“Uhm… Ms. Amy,” Cream tugged on Amy’s winter jacket and pointed up.

Amy turned to look and her jaw dropped.

“What?” Tails looked confused and looked as well. “GAH!”

Knuckles returned from getting a plate of nachos and saw everyone staring at something with their mouths hanging open. With a raised brow, he turned to look as well. “What’d I miss?”

He then stopped.

Then he began smirking. “Whoa. Clearly I missed a lot.”

Sonic was squirming and screaming for help at the top of the Christmas Tree, which only drew a ton of attention to him. Everyone below saw this and either laughed or snapped a photo while the camera of the news station found his situation rather interesting and zoomed in on the shouting hedgehog.

“LET ME DOOOOWWWWNNNN!” Sonic cried, gripping the tree with both his hands as his diaper began to yellow.

He still had more in his system, surprisingly enough and the rest of it came out due to the fear and humiliation of it all.

As Sonic shouted and cried like a baby, Mariann sat at home with her new teddy and grinned at the TV.

“Ah. The teddy humper is having a good Christmas I see,” She sneered. “How lovely.”

—

Don’t be a teddy humper on Christmas or you might end up like Sonic. Tell me which interval of humiliation was your favorite. Be merry and live long and prosper and all that. I’ll see you guys for the next one!