Home Artists Posts Import Register

Content

I thought about putting some more expository dialog in that first panel to remind readers that this is indeed the first time she's had the sensation of somebody blowing inside her, but everything I came up with had the feel of loosely-translated subtitles on a hentai video. You know the kind, where the woman's "dirty talk" reads more like she's just narrating what's happening to her. I figured less was more, and just did my best to express what I wanted with her moan placement and expression up there. Let me know what you think, this scene is close to wrapping up! :) 

Files

Comments

Mark Hunter

Speaks for itself most eloquently! For me, the ideal next scene would be her, totally into it, dragging him, still in WTF? mode, into the shower to "clean up" (maybe with some hint that it's a hot water on demand system to explain why they're comfortable for the length of a long, steamy scene) then, just when he becomes completely comfortable, and is about to ask her out on a date, she snaps out of it and runs for the hills! Which would be thematically compatible with all his other attempts, too!

Mark Hunter

Only thing I can think of exposition-wise is, in the first panel, change "O-oh!" to "O-oh?"