Worst client I've ever worked for (Patreon)

I need your help.

The last couple of months, I've been working with a really difficult client. I've been hired to come up with a brand name and a logo, but every draft I've made has been received with a "not quite what we're looking for" or a "do you need us to point out the mark again? Because you keep missing it."

The client is relentless and ruthless and is currently trying to figure out how to get out of writing about herself in third person.

The Contractor: Me
The Client: Me
The Brief: Come up with a brand name and logo for my product business.

As you might know, I've been focusing more and more on developing products like the Every Day Calendar. I need to come up with a brand name to sell them under, and I have given myself a seemingly impossible brief.

I want it to be witty, creative, cool, not have the name "Giertz" in it because I cannot justify that it's pronounced "Yetch". A brand name that is funny but not silly but expensive and sophisticated but also self-deprecating. And the only logo idea that has stuck with me is a paint brush with fingers instead of bristles. But it can't look creepy. And also not like a tech startup, more like a cool popup store.

Six out of 10000000 logo drafts. 

It feels like a game of branding Twister. No wonder that I'm stuck.

As for the name, here are some ideas of various levels of seriousness.

• Yetch
• Three Out Of Five, T.O.O.F
• Where Things Are Sold
• Abandoned Items In Your Cart
• Things We Made
• Inpeccable
• Things And Things
• Hurdovit
• The Scrap Bin
• Could Be Better
• That Store
• Idea Rehabilitation Center

Some of them make me laugh, but so does videos of babies eating lemons. Does that mean I want a baby eating a lemon as my logo? No.

Do you have any ideas for brand names/logos?

I'm certified stuck, and I would love your help. I've spent the last couple of months walking in circles and all I have to show for it is foot blisters. Foot Blisters? Could that be a cool name for my store? PLS HELP.

XOXO
Simone

PS. I'm just about to put out a job ad for a product manager, just in case you're looking for a new job 🤞