THE CYBERTRUCK holy fuck Elon (Patreon)

Hi, it's me, your unofficial car representative, trying to sell you bootleg Teslas in a back alley. The dashboard screen is an old TV with a built-in VHS and the autonomous driving feature is just a guy named Greg holding the steering wheel for you.

I've had quite the vehicular week, with a road trip down to LA, the Tesla Cybertruck unveil and a quick visit to the LA Auto Show.

So here's how I got invited to the Tesla event:

... which makes "of course!" the only two words Elon Musk has ever said to me. Not the worst ones. Working on adding a "sure I'll send you to space!" to the collection.

Tesla reached out to my manager with our official tickets, and asked if I could jump on a call with them. After a lot of back and forth they were like "hey, you know what would be really fun and awesome? If you didn't bring Truckla to the event ok thx byeee"

Ok they didn't use those exact words, but essentially they asked me not to bring Truckla because they were worried about people comparing Truckla and Cybertruck and her stealing Cybertruck's thunder.

Which I don't think they would have had to worry about that, because BOYYY DOES THAT THING HAVE THUNDER.

Here's a GIF of my actual reaction as it rolled out on stage.

I love and hate it at the same time. I tip my hat to the boldness of the design, but it also feels like the wearing-sunglasses-indoors of cars. And I think I was pretty bullseye in the target group. I mean, I was so excited about a Tesla pickup truck that I fricking built one myself. It should have been an easy sell.

So if you missed it (I'm impressed if you managed to) the windows broke when Elon and Tesla's head of design Franz von Holzhausen attempted to show how unbreakable the glass was. The air went out of the room. I still cringe when I watch videos of it.

We mingled around a bit, and got to see a model of the car up close. MKBHD was at the event too, and I was excited to get to see him IRL for the first time. What a decent fucking human being™. Also brought this gem of a tweet into my feed:

So I might have brought Truckla to the event area just a tinyyyyy bit. I'm rule-abiding to a fault, and incredibly unconfrontational, but people were bringing their cars all over and nobody said shit. So I was like FUCK IT I'M SUPER COOL AND BRAVE WHATEVER I'LL BREAK SOME RULES.

At least that's what it felt like. What actually happened was that I handed my team mates the keys and was like "do whatever you want I'll hide over here" because I got so nervous. I'm somehow ok with standing on stage in front of thousands of people, but when it comes to stuff like this I'm a total coward. I just keep on thinking "what if someone gets sad" even though I know how ridiculous that is. Elon has better things to be sad about than Truckla and Cybertruck being seen side by side.

I stayed at my friend Alie Ward's house, and stole all her paper to try to make some Cybertruck origami to digest everything that had happened.

But the best way to get over a truck, is to get into a bunch of other ones. So I headed to LA Auto Show, where I got to see the Bollinger truck in real life for the first time!

It's an all wheel drive electric pickup truck and I'm kind of into it. Not $125k into it, but I'd probably rather drive this one than the Cybertruck.

I love the dash and how mechanical everything in the car is. No electric windows or anything. Just chrome latches, buttons and switches.

And then we drove back to San Francisco! After stopping at absolutely every supercharger along the way. Let's just say that she's not as aerodynamic as she used to be. But what she lacks in range she makes up for in style.

I've filmed a whole video about driving around in Truckla + the Cybertruck event, and I'm just waiting for the sponsor to greenlight it and then I'll hit post! Will hopefully be tomorrow. Stay tuned.

XOXO
Simone