I severely underestimated how much I've drawn... (Patreon)

The link for the collection is here!

_-Update Above-_________________________________________________________________

Ello'! 

No link yet, the damn thing is still uploading. 

I've been drawing since 2008 and I didn't start digitally saving anything until 2011. I've had ups and downs, just like anyone. I've had good years, bad ones, and some downright weird ones. I'm looking at you, 2017. In any case, I sifted through multiple backups to get together all the things I thought should go in here. Gotta show there was actual growth. In any case, It's over 7 gigs, and over 2,100 files, all from 2011-2020. 

A lot of it is kinda shit, but I do get better over time, I like to think at least. I can say that 2017 was probably my most active year, it was the year where I tested crazy ideas, wasn't mentally bogged down by my own limitations, and was generally just going ham on whatever my brain could come up with. 

As for 2020, well, what can I say? It was a bad year, a very bad year. So much stuff happened, that it the beginning of the year felt like it was years ago, the fires, killer hornets, aliens? It was practically apocalypse bingo. But apparently that wasn't enough, we had the beginning of Covid and the events that led to the BLM movement. I hear artists saying it was a good year for art, for me it was just more self doubt on top of everything else testing my limits. I felt tired. Still do. I'm trying my best to stick to my plan. I did draw a little bit for the time I was gone, it's in the 2020 folder which is a lot fuller than I expected it to be.

I just don't think I have it in me to juggle my education and this, which sucks, it's more than that, it hurts a lot. In either case, I made this to serve as a goodbye and as a time capsule. I don't know when, or even if, I'm coming back. I want to, drawing is fun and eases my stress, when I'm not drawing I'm just kinda lost. I'm still doing the damn math courses to get myself ready, I'm learning coding on the side to prep. I'm probably overdoing it because I'm scared, I'm scared of taking that step and failing. Scared that I stepped away from this for no real reason, that I've just wasted more time. It's an inner conflict where I hope I'm doing the right thing but I honestly just don't know. 

I was hoping to have this up much earlier in the day, my drive that has Dropbox on it didn't have enough disk space to support the file transfer, found some back ups that had different files that I had to sift through all over again. My organization system sucked, I would pull an older file into a newer year folder to work on it because I like doing that for some reason, so it was hard to get the years right because it felt like some years my art was better than others.. 

Anyway, I thought I'd have like 600 drawings, no, I have over a couple thousand. I looked through everything I could, sketches, doodles, ideas, scribbled notes on a loose sketch, anatomy studies, sfw art, everything. All while trying not to be overcritical but also not just put in trash. I hope you like it, it's a weird look into my career as ShatteredMemoirs. 

It says it'll be ready in two hours, it's about 11pm my time right now, I took a few shifts these past 3 days to get this together. Today was the biggest chunk, about 11 hours and I still couldn't find some things. Some things I couldn't even remember doing. Depression can have a hell of an effect on memory, which is a fun little tidbit I wish I'd known sooner. I'm pretty sure I'm missing anatomy study stuff. If I ever find more stuff, I'll throw it onto the designated folder and update this post with the year and where. Hell, I might be able to find the 2008 stuff. The real problem is that the later years get pretty size heavy because I liked working with a bigger canvas. I'll update this post with the link when it's fully synced. For now, I hope you all had a good holiday and a merry end to a terrible year. ShatteredMemoirs, signing off. 

P.S. Thank you for all your support!