The Good Life: Old World Blues (ch. 36) (Fallout Jump Start) (Patreon)

“This place kinda sucks,” I observed with Yoruichi by my side as we drank in the sights of a whole new world. The excitement was a little undercut by the fact that everything looked vaguely the same -- dilapidated, neglected, and weathered from about two hundred years of being exposed to the elements after a nuclear apocalypse. Dead trees stood in the sandy dirt, the asphalt crumbling to pieces, and the only thing of note standing in any direction was the entrance to a theme park.

It was pretty neat to see a Coke knockoff, but as the two of us entered the theme park, only for nothing of note to happen… I mean, it was exciting. It was. I just thought there would be a little… something something. A little pizazz. Something that would immediately grab my attention to make it clear that I was in a brand new world.

“Humans are pretty sure that a nuclear war would wipe them out,” Yoruichi said, stepping inside of a building. Despite the rotting wood, shattered glass, and rubble -- I didn't hear a sound as we continued inward to the heart of the theme park. Well, not the theme park itself. An open area with a cluster of buildings that offered a taste of what the park had to offer, kinda like V-World. My gaze found a faded and crumbling ‘You are here’ sign to find that there was a train ride over to the actual park.

Swapping with some rubble on a rooftop, I saw that the theme park itself sat in what I'm pretty sure had been a lake at one point. It was all dried out mud now, for the most part.

“You think everyone is dead?” I asked, not knowing how I felt about that. I was a people person. People might not be that happy meeting me, but I loved meeting new people.

“You finding anything?” Yoruichi asked in response, and my lips thinned.

“Nope. Not even insects,” I answered, swapping back down to the road itself to head to the trolly station. It felt pretty weird, to be perfectly honest. I never noticed how much… white noise was in my Room until it was gone. Insects. Radio waves. Noise. Movement. The area around me was completely dead.

Yoruichi appeared as I collapsed my Room around me, poking me in the side of the head. “Technically, this is a mission for the survival of your species, you know. We aren't here to play around,” she reminded.

“I know. I would have just preferred both,” I admitted as we reached the trolly station. Heading down the steps, small plums of dust rose up with each step that we took. However, I quickly noticed that the emergency lights were on, casting the station in dark shadows. “Looks like there is still some power here.”

“And someone did some cleaning up,” Yoruichi said, opening a door to a supply closet to reveal a bunch of bones. About four or five skeletons worth. Could be that when the world ended, they hid in the closet, but now that she mentioned it, I saw that the dust on the floor was disturbed in some places. The railway itself revealed something was up -- there were two rocket shaped trolleys, and one of them was covered in a lot more dust than the other.

“Oh~! That one is still operational,” I observed, approaching the trolley. The color was a faded red, the paint chipping and visibly rusting in some places. “I think we found people!” I said, pulling the door open to find a rusted out interior but other than a few holes in the floor, it seemed perfectly safe. Yoruichi followed me on board while I found the controls -- they were pretty simple with a single lever that controlled if the trolley went back and forth.

Pushing it the opposite direction, the hinges screamed as the trolley began to head towards the amusement park proper. After a few seconds of concern that it was going to fall apart, the trolley got going, carrying us over the lake bed and towards the high walls of the park. Yoruichi stood by me as I looked out a cloudy window, “So we have a game plan here?”

“I'm expecting full on survivalists. They aren't going to want to share what they have until they see we can bring something to the table. So, I say that we go with shock and awe,” I ventured. Simple enough, really. If the world was this dead after two hundred years, I'm guessing that humanity hadn't gotten back on its feet. Resources would be scarce, leading to the tried and true might makes right. Given that I had super powers and Yoruichi was Yoruichi, I was feeling pretty confident in a razzle dazzle approach.

Yoruichi hummed in agreement, following my lead. The trolley began to slow, filling the air with the screeching sound of rusted metal on metal and I'm pretty sure that was this places equivalent to ringing the doorbell. With a low groan, the doors to the trolley opened up, letting us arrive at the lobby. I saw ancient decorations lining the walls and gift shops for things that I didn't recognize. The building had crumbled in some places, but my attention was drawn to something else. Or, rather, someone.

A man sat propped up against the help desk near the main entrance to the park itself. His hand clutched his side, his skin was pale and sunken in, his attire rough and patched over. Honestly, he looked like death warmed over. Weakly, he looked up at us, raising a blood stained hand. “H-help!” He called out before coughing weakly.

I looked over at Yoruichi, who looked over at me. I offered a shrug before approaching. “What happened to you?” I asked him, approaching as I created a Room, whispering under my breath. My awareness expanded and… huh.

Huh.

Wow.

That…

Huh.

“Raiders. They… they have my family,” He coughed weakly, really laying it on. “They captured us, but I managed to get away. I… I was going to find help- the, the Minutemen! But they noticed as I snuck away. And they got me… my family. Please, you have to save my family-”

I cut him off with a swift kick to his ‘injured’ side. I'm pretty sure he was doused with blood, but it wasn't from him. “Pull the other,” I dismissed his story. “You do look like shit though. Can't fake that. So, what's really going on here? You better tell me before I give you a real injury to complain about.” I warned, giving my sword a threatening wiggle.

The man cringed, fear etching itself into his expression. “I- I'm a slave,” he whispered. “I'm bait. Th-the raiders are real, though. And they do have my family. I… I'm just supposed to trick you into going,” He admitted, folding like a house of cards. Yoruichi snorted in amusement, looking at me.

“Raiders, huh? How many we talking about here?” I asked, finding my interest growing. I could tell that he didn't want to answer, which told me that the answer was a lot. “A hundred? A thousand? Come on, don't hold back. You aren't going to scare us off. The more the better,” I told him and uncertainty mingled with the fear.

He licked his chapped lips, “T-there's a few hundred. I- I never counted?”

“Perfect,” I replied, satisfied with the information. This place had enough going for it that it could support a population of a few hundred as it was. When we began bringing over supplies from my world, then that number would increase. The locals weren't much of a concern -- they would fall in line, or they would die. “Here, have a piece of candy for your honesty,” I said, giving him a gum drop. The guy really did look like death warmed over.

He eagerly popped the candy into his mouth as if he thought I was going to take it back. I headed to the entrance -- a large pair of double doors that were left open, heading to a set of stairs that led down. “W-wait, thats-”

“I know,” I cut him off, descending into what I could only describe as a death trap. There was a long hallway at the base of the stairs, and on the other side of it was a wall of machine guns. There were a handful of corpses strewn about, laying where they had been killed in a hail of gunfire. The moment that I crossed the threshold with Yoruichi, the double doors slammed shut behind us, and the guns began to fire.

I side stepped the walls of bullets with a quick swap, taking us to the exit of the hallway. Yoruichi leaned in to examine the still firing machine gun. “These look pretty different from the guns of your world,” she noted, and that they did. They seemed more… WW1 era, except they were magazine fed. They were pretty neat, I decided, continuing on underneath a welcome sign to ‘the Gauntlet’.

“Well, well, well -- it seems our newest contestants have managed to get past the first hurdle and in record time!” I heard a voice announce on the intercom in a corner of the room. “Bets are officially on! Tourists -- you've got even odds on making it through the next challenge, so make me some money!”

“I suppose in a world without TV, people have to find their own entertainment,” I remarked.

Yoruichi tilted her head, crossing her arms. “Do they even have cameras set up?” She asked and now that she mentioned it, I didn't see any. Wait, were they waiting for some kind of flag to trigger to see how far we got?

“I can't even imagine being this bored,” I muttered in horror. How starved of entertainment did you have to be? With a dramatic shiver, we pressed onwards, making our way through the Gauntlet. It made for some spoilers, but I'd take it over getting shot. Up next was a mine field that we sidestepped with ease, Yoruichi not even needing my help.

There were more corpses the deeper we went, but I noticed they got fewer and fewer with each stage of the Gauntlet. For normal people, I imagine it would be quite deadly.

“Gross,” I remarked, thankful I couldn't smell it as I saw mutilated corpses hanging from some meat hooks. Yoruichi opened a door to reveal a bunch of heads on stakes. “What is this? Some kind of fucked up art piece?” I wondered, tilting my head at it.

“Pretty sure it's just supposed to scare us,” Yoruichi said, giving the corpse a poke, revealing that the blood was still fresh. Wiping it off on my shoulder, she leaned in while I muttered, grabbing a scrap of cloth to wipe my clothing clean. “I see some bite marks.”

“Cannibals?” I questioned and Yoruichi gave me a flat look that I felt behind her mask.

“Could you not sound so excited?” Yoruichi asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.

“I've never met a cannibal before,” I shrugged, turning my attention to the heads on the stakes. “These aren't all that rotted. They must see some decent foot traffic this way,” I noted. One of the heads was pretty rotted though, but his eyes were black? Weird.

“Hm. And you may have to hold off on meeting your first cannibal -- I'm not sure what bit him, but it doesn't look like it had a set of teeth I've ever seen,” she noted. That could mean any one of a thousand things, so I tried not to get too excited. But, silently, I was crossing my fingers for horribly mutated monsters warped by radiation.

“And our contestants are just breezing right through the Gauntlet! We have a record in the making, raiders and raidettes!” The announcer continued as we left the gruesome sight behind, “But will they have the steam to keep going?”

The rest of the Gauntlet was interesting enough. At first, I assumed that they had repurposed some stretch of the park for this horror show, but when we dipped down under ground, I realized that they had put forth a lot of work into building this thing. I almost felt bad for skipping right through the challenges inside it -- a room of turrets, a lobby bridge over a pit of spikes, and so on. To us, it was more of an eventful walk than a test of our skill and cunning.

Pushing in a door, I was greeted with a locker room and the sound of music and cheering. “Would you look at that, ladies and gentlemen! For the first time in a long time, our challengers have reached the finish line! But wait, what's this?! One final hurdle to get over and what a hurdle he is! Introducing the one, the only… Overboss!” The announcer cheered, and his cheers were echoed by the crowd that gathered in a makeshift stadium in what looked like what had been a bumper cart stadium.

The Overboss was pretty easy to pick out. He stood in the middle, his arms over his head as he hyped up the crowd. He was wearing some kind of armor -- large and bulky, with portions of the armor appearing slapped together. My Room told me that the armor gave him an additional foot of height altogether, but I wasn't quite sure what it did.

“Looks like they gave us some goodies for a good show,” Yoruichi remarked, holding up a duffle bag. Guns, ammo, some grenades. She held up a syringe looking thing, “Stimpack. Expired in… two thousand and fifty. You think it's still good?”

“We’ll jab it into someone to find out. Seems like we'll have plenty of volunteers soon enough,” I said, heading down to the ground floor to start the fight.

“Wait- rock paper scissors?” Yoruichi asked, and I smirked at her, holding up a fist as we continued down. Our fists bounced once, twice, and… “Damn it!”

“Haha!” I cheered, cutting her paper with my scissors. “Better luck next time.”

“I hate your powers,” Yoruichi mumbled as we reached the arena, pouting.

Pushing open the gate, I stood across from the Overboss. It also gave me a decent view of the arena itself. I don't think everyone was currently in the bleachers that were set up. A wire grate fence covered busted out walls to give everyone a view. However, there were three people that seemed to be at the forefront with premier seating. Two women and one guy -- the guy in particular was jacked like a brick shit house, and covered in paint. He was also in front of what I could only describe as post-apocalyptic furries.

“Are you ready to die, little man? If you start begging now, I won't make you watch as I tear up your girl,” Overboss snarled at me. He was trying to be intimidating but I only heard Macho Man Randy Savage.

“Just to be clear on something -- do I win this little contest after I kill you or do I have to kill everyone here?” I asked him, my tone flippant and I could see that gave him a moment of pause. His face was half covered by a wire mesh, and he looked at me with a gaze I knew pretty well. Saw it on my parents often enough -- he was high as a kite. Maybe if he wasn't, his survival instincts would have kicked in.

“Let's get it on!” Overboss yelled, and there was a snap of electricity as his entire armor became covered with it. The source was the bumper car antenna that connected him to the building. He broke into a sprint towards me with surprising speed, but I had dealt with a lot faster.

I side stepped a punch, then the backhand that he tried to follow it up with. “That's some swanky armor,” I remarked as the crowd were shouting for blood while Yoruichi took a seat in one of the old bumper cars. “Is that rare? Because I kind of want it for myself. Though, not having an independent power source would be a pain…” I continued, dodging his blows. He just wasn't as fast as Homelander. Much less A-Train.

“Face me!” Overboss roared and I had to fight to not break out in giggles. I couldn't not hear Randy Savage.

“Well, if you insist…” I trailed off before I grabbed hold on the electricity that cackled around his armor. It flowed to the palm of my hand as I compressed it into a small ball. The stadium went silent, uncertain what was going on while I played around with the lightning -- giving it a spin, trying to rifle the blast like a gun barrel. Placing the ball of volatile lightning on the tip of my finger, I released it like I was firing a bullet.

A torrent of pure lightning struck Overboss with physical force, the compression and the spin increasing its penetrating power. A small hole steamed through his armor, the lightning passing through him and frying him from the inside out.

Without further ceremony, he fell over dead to the stunned silence of the crowd.

I was all smiles, “What? Are you not entertained!?” I demanded, throwing my hands up as the victor to the match. I could feel Yoruichi rolling her eyes at me as she offered a polite sarcastic golf clap.

That, however, turned into far more enthusiastic applause when the crowd broke out of their stupor. It didn't even sound that forced. What a hunch of bloodthirsty idiots.

“Much better,” I said, carrying my voice to everyone in the stands. “Now, I'm guessing if there's an Overboss, there are underbosses. Come on down and introduce yourselves. We'll be working together going forward. Provided I don't decide to kill you, of course,” I added and the people I marked as underbosses all got up. Furry man seemed uncertain.

A lady wearing a heavy metal mask and a few human skulls at her waist. I had a suspect for that art project in the Gauntlet.

Another woman, this one wearing a business suit. Blonde hair, mid twenties. She seemed calm on the outside, but she was pure panic on the inside.

Last of them all was another guy. He, interestingly, had a metal eyepatch. Wary, if I had to describe him. Wary, but calm.

All four of them came down, arranging themselves before me. “Don't be rude. Introduce yourselves,” I ordered, looking at Yoruichi, sending the message of ‘can you believe these guys?’ With a hand gesture.

“Mason,” Furry man introduced himself as, and I was never going to refer to him as anything different. “Leader of the Pack,” he added. That was exactly why.

“Nisha of the Disciples,” the masked lady introduced herself and there was some crazy in her eyes, I noticed as they met behind our respective masks.

“Mags of the Operators,” Mags followed suit. She had a fantastic poker face, but I saw that she was thoroughly unnerved by the display of power. If she was hanging around this bunch, she had to be made of some stern stuff, but I was something Other. My power didn't come from a gun or a suit of armor. She didn't understand it so she feared it.

“Gauge,” Gauge introduced himself. “and you are the new Overboss.”

“That's right,” I said, pointing at him and he flinched ever so slightly. “I go by Law. Or Heartless, whichever you prefer. Actually, I kinda like the title Overboss. So, I'll keep it,” I decided, and I saw a subtle shift in the group. “Now, I don't expect us to be best of friends right away. There are going to be teething pains, I know. So… Scalpel,” I said, stepping toward and taking their hearts, and stacking them up in the palm of my hands.

Then I began to juggle them. They were afraid now, their hands clutching at the empty spaces in their chests. “You can have these back when I feel like I can trust you. So, it's in your best interest to get on my good side. Now, who wants to give me the grand tour of my new digs?” I asked, and I noticed that Nisha had been keeping a close eye on her heart while I was juggling them. Keeping track of which one was hers.

“Of course, Overboss. And… maybe I can shed some light on our current situation,” Gauge tried, trying his best to not sound unnerved. He gave it a good shot, but didn't entirely succeed.

“That would be lovely,” I said, tossing the hearts into the backpack that Yoruichi offered. “Lead the way,” I gestured for them and I saw the four all share a glance as they turned around, thinking that I couldn’t see. It was too early to tell which one of them would try something first, but it was inevitable that one of them would try something. The shock would need to wear off first, but they would convince themselves that they had a chance eventually.

A set of stairs led us to the surface, a plaza of sorts. Almost like Universal Studios with the giant planet, only it was a massive statue of a soda bottle. This place was really dedicated to soda, huh? Did Coke have its own theme park that I just never heard about? Well, I suppose it was too late to go back and check.

“The park, Overboss, is broken up into a couple of zones. We got the central one locked down, no problem. The others, though… they’re a tough nut. We’ve been gearing up for months now to tackle ‘em, just waiting word from the boss- the old boss. But, ah… he was… reluctant,” Gauge began, coming to another ‘you are here’ sign. This one was in much better condition.

Kiddie Kingdom, Dry Rock Gulch, World of Refreshment, Safari Adventure, and Galactic Zone. A quick look over the map was enough to guess the general theme of them -- kid play zone, cowboy, rides, zoo, and sci-fi. Interesting enough, I suppose.

“What’s stopping you from taking them?” I asked as we continued on, exploring the one area that they allegedly had on lockdown -- Nuka-World USA. Creating a Room, I recentered it around me, eclipsing a chunk of the area. There were people. A lot of rubble. Odds and ends that caught my attention, like a soda that was… radioactive? More interestingly, I realized that some people had collars around their necks.

“The wildlife for some. And some hold outs in others. Kiddie Kingdom pumps out some crazy chemicals, and it’s filled with feral ghouls,” Gauge explained and I hummed as we came across a market.

Yup. Slaves. Did I own slaves now? Did I want to own slaves? The American in me said no and I was inclined to listen to it. But, for now, I would hold off on making a move. I wanted to get a feel for the whole situation before I started shuffling things around.

“He’s being generous. The Overboss lost his taste for expansion and he was kicking dust until you made him kick the can, Overboss,” Nisha informed me and Gauge winced ever so slightly. Hm. Making them seem more proactive? Smart. Because I wasn’t that impressed that they had apparently been twiddling their thumbs for months on end waiting for an order. “Nor have we managed to take the power plant to power the park fully. We’re stuck on reserve power from generators here and there.”

That was… strangely perfect, wasn’t it? “A power plant?” I questioned, looking over the market as the market looked at me. It was a surprisingly bustling place. The slaves were pretty easy to pick out with the collars on their necks. Everyone else though… I wasn’t sure if all of them were cut from the same bloodstained cloth that the raiders were made of. Some looked like normal people, who were in desperate need of a shower and a hot meal.

Gauge nodded, a strange eagerness entering him. “It’s overrun with ghouls. We were eyeing it, but… well, without taking any of the other parks, there wasn’t much of a point to taking it.”

“Well, I’m going to be bringing some friends over, so we’ll be needing the extra room. And the power,” I told him and that caught all of their attention as we walked along a dried up river bank that flowed between the worlds. All the while, I was doing some counting to get a feel for the population -- there were a lot more than I expected. Probably closer to two thousand total. Seemed like there was a raider, civilian, and slave population.

Furry guy scowled, “How… many friends?” He asked, wary of the answer.

“My gang, I suppose you could call them. We’ll be moving over a few hundred to start with,” I told them casually, and I saw their minds racing. I would let them plot on their own time, though. “Tell me about the wildlife. And what’s a ghoul?” I questioned, pushing past them and intentionally giving them a shot at my back. Yoruichi knew exactly what I was doing and I could feel her eyes dancing with amusement.

There was a small pause and it seemed Gauge was the spokesman of the four. Mags was too afraid to willingly draw attention to herself, Furry wasn’t much better, and Nisha only spoke up to trip Gauge. I couldn’t tell if that made him the top dog or not. “A ghoul… it’s… erm… have you not seen one? Are you a vault dweller or something?” He hazard a guess, and I suppose it was common enough knowledge that he didn’t know how to explain it to me.

“I don’t even know what that means, so probably not,” I replied blandly.

“Ghouls are rotted fuckers. When the bombs fell, some got unlucky and got turned into ghouls by the radiation. Comes with some perks -- immortality, healing from radiation, but the trade off is you look like a shambling corpse. And if you don’t get put down by something in the Wasteland, you lose your mind and go feral.” Nisha picked up, like I expected she would. Ah, so maybe that rotting head wasn’t an actual rotting head?

I hummed and Nisha continued, “The Safari zone is filled with gatorclaws. Bigger and meaner than normal Deathclaws, and that’s saying something.” I almost asked, but I didn’t want to ruin the surprise. What deserved to be called a Deathclaw? I couldn’t wait to find out. “Galaxy is filled with robots. Didn’t use to be that bad until something pissed them off and now they kill on sight. Mirelurks have taken over the World of Refreshment. The previous inhabitants of Nuka-World are held up in the Gulch with the bloodworms.”

Most of that didn’t really mean anything to me, but that was the part that I liked. This was an adventure in its purest form -- a brand new world for me to explore and grab by the balls so tightly they turned blue. Maybe that would fill the void that was left in my heart by Homelander.

“Gear up and take the power plant now,” I instructed as we made a large circle that ended at some kind of lift. To an open air bedroom? Nice. I got on the lift, Yoruichi joining me and I leaned on the railing. “Some of you are going to die, but that’s a price I’m willing to pay. When my crew gets here, we’ll take the rest of the parks.” I said, pushing my hood back and taking the mask off of my face, letting them see my smile.

“But, before I go, let me say this -- you all get one shot,” I told them, and they stiffened, knowing exactly what I meant. “That’s a freebie. So, get together, put on your thinking caps, and plot. Plan. Get ready to take your shot at me. I don’t mind. Actually, I’d be bored if you didn’t,” I continued, my smile growing. “You only get that one freebie. You fail? There won’t be any consequences then. But if you try again after that?”

I chuckled, “I’ll kill everyone in the park starting with you four.”

They were silent, uncertain what to make of me as I pressed the button to the lift and we began to rise above them. I held their gaze, and they were the ones that were forced to look away.Gauge was the most curious one of them all. Mags? She was terrified. Furry didn’t believe me and thought it was a scare tactic. Nisha? Pretty sure that threat just turned her on.

Gauge was the only one that understood that it wasn’t a threat.

It was a promise.

The lift came to a stop and I turned my attention to my new digs. It wasn’t nearly as swanky as my last penthouse apartment, but it was obviously the digs of the last Overboss. There was a collection of knick knacks on display, a large double bed, a kitchen and fridge with some heads in it. Lovely. Setting the Anchor down against a bookshelf, Yoruichi threw her hood back and revealed a sly smirk on her lips.

“Was that what it was like when you took over New York?” She asked, her hand going to her jacket and slowly pulling down the zipper.

“More or less. Gotta say, this place seems more interesting at least. What’s a gatorclaw?” I wondered, thinking that this start was about as well as we could have hoped for. A decent area, a power plant, and a population that I could bully into submission so we wouldn’t be flying completely blind. As much as I was loathe to admit it, we weren’t here solely for my entertainment.

“I suppose we’ll find out soon enough,” Yoruichi teased, removing her jacket with her sly smile becoming naughty. “But, before that, I think we have a bed to break in,” she noted, striding across the room and placing a hand on my chest.

“I think we-” I began, letting Yoruichi push me onto the bed with her climbing into my lap, only for both of us to freeze when we heard two hundred year old springs squeak in protest.

“Right… maybe not the bed.”