Lewd Dungeon, Chapter 271 (Patreon)

Chapter 271 – DEN’s Reaction

(Galactic DEN Forums)

Galactic   Dungeon Chat

Theocracy’s   Might

Oh,   gods, this is terrible! Absolutely terrible! Everything is going wrong!   Surely, this must be the end of days!

Bugrandi   Swamp

What   is the idiot going on about, now?

Theocracy’s   Might

How   can you not know? Something has happened to Lady Pofmis, and it is affecting   all her followers! The very foundations of the pantheons are shaking!

Bugrandi   Swamp

Probably   because none of the freedom idiots bother with a dungeon that is mostly swamp   creatures. My regulars are monster hunters and those looking for some of the   rare materials I have. There isn’t much profit in slaving around here.

Dudansx

Not   everyone cares about what the mortals and their religions are doing, Theo. Most   of us just make sure we aren’t doing anything that will get a crusade called   on us.

Dishonored

Or we   make sure that we have the God of Dungeons, Kuronoth, on our side, so he can   help turn those crusades aside.

Hdnar

That’s   what happened on Atara, right? Some rich kids decided to go dungeon diving,   and their parents weren’t happy with what happened, so they forced the clerics   to call a crusade?

Dishonored

Basically.   The kids discovered that aphrodisiac gas traps are dangerous, even if they   aren’t lethal. And the parents were upset that a few pregnancies came from   that.

Forsworn

Serves   them right. Always assume that anything in a dungeon, that isn’t marked as a   safe zone, is going to be dangerous in some way. That’s what we do!

Dishonored

Yeah,   but since when have rich people ever had sense? Hell, they usually only get   carried through the dungeon, so they can get the benefits of levels without   the work.

Scholarium

This   is true. Many ruling parties have a Tier requirement to join the government.   And becoming a higher-tier race can give a mortal a longer lifespan, and   improve their overall health, as well as increasing their abilities.

Devil’s   Due

Yeah,   we know this. Let’s go back to what Theocracy was talking about for a sec.   Because something strange just happened in my dungeon, and I want to know if   it is connected. One of those Pofmis jerks just stopped in the middle of a boss fight, and begged my floor   boss to enslave him. I did it, obviously, but that is… not normal.

Theocracy’s   Might

Yes!   That, right there, is what I’m talking about! It isn’t happening in just your   dungeon, either! All the followers of Pofmis are getting put under some kind   of compulsion to go get themselves enslaved. Once that happens, they can’t   back out of it! This is terrible news!

Freedom’s   Requiem

Maybe   for you. For those of us who have been dealing with that bitch’s self-righteous   followers for too long, this is a welcome reprieve. Oh, I’m sure that someone   will step up to be the new religious asshole on the block, but at least   Pofmis is dead.

Scholarium

Not   dead. The signs point to Pofmis still being alive, but changed in some way. The   researchers in my halls are trying to figure out what, exactly, happened.

Greengrass

Do you   think it had anything to do with that stuff happening on Bluemountain?

Goblin   Cave

What   stuff? Bluemountain has been pretty firmly locked down as being a Pofmisian   stronghold for the last two hundred Standard Years. Most of the planet is   still stuck with antique weapons and armor, from what I’ve heard.

Greengrass

True,   but I heard that a couple dungeons have started causing trouble there, and it   is throwing the ruling empire into chaos.

Black   Knight

Well,   more like I, and another dungeon, reached out to some of Vinastra’s enemies,   and worked out an agreement to help them overthrow the Pofmisian theocracy.

Fortune’s   Glory

That’s   a dangerous road to walk. Dungeons have been declared Rogue, and destroyed   for doing such things in the past.

Black   Knight

Well,   they can try. But the Vinastran capital is now part of my domain, and dungeon   laws cover it. Plus, gods are involved, so they’ll go looking at them, first.

Greengrass

Woah.   What gods?

Black   Knight

Pofmis,   obviously, but Kuronoth was there, too.

Goblin   Cave

What,   like actually there, in the real world, not just through their followers?

Black Knight

Yes! They manifested at the site where the   Vinastran army had gotten trapped between the allied forces, with help from   Wyrmfang Aerie, myself, and Exquisite Pleasures.

Scholarium

Wait a   fucking second! How did Exquisite Pleasures get to Bluemountain? That dungeon   is based on Earth! Vadrandix, have you sold any Galactic Core Spikes   recently?

Vadrandix

No, I   have not. And that is troublesome. I do not like the idea of a dungeon being   able to move about without paying me.

Exquisite   Pleasures

That’s   really too bad, then.

Fortune’s   Glory

Oh,   the dungeon himself! So, how did you do it?

Exquisite   Pleasures

Simple.   A god helped me.

Scholarium

Wait,   what?

Exotic   Pleasures

Yes,   it looks like there’s a loophole in the whole ‘core spike’ rules, under the System.   Or, more likely, it is an edge case that has never come up before. Either   way, if you have a god enshrined in your dungeon, then, with that god’s   permission, you can open a portal to one of their shrines elsewhere, and   claim it as your own territory, like if it were part of your dungeon. Even if   it is on another world. Then, you can use the normal, and publicly available,   core spikes to open up new territory on the planet.

Scholarium

Huh.   Ok. I can see why that might not have come up before. Most dungeons are not   so closely aligned with the gods enshrined in their dungeons that they’d be   willing to allow such things. So, you and Kuronoth are that tightly bound?

Exotic   Pleasures

Sometimes,   it seems like we’re the same person. But, honestly, there isn’t much to say   about things in this case. We trade favors back and forth, because dungeons   and gods have different capabilities. We never ask for anything the other can’t   provide, or anything that would severely inconvenience them, so there’s never   hard feelings.

Scholarium

That…   well, that’s just insane, from the common sense of the galaxy. But both you   and Kuronoth are from Earth, so I guess you never had anyone say it couldn’t   be done.

Greengrass

How   did you and Kuronoth come to be in this relationship, anyways?

Exotic   Pleasures

Well,   when the System was turned back on, in what humans are calling the System   Apocalypse, I became a dungeon, and Kuronoth became the final boss. We’ve been   working together since then. Probably part of the reason that he’s gained   that God of Dungeons title.

Greengrass

Fascinating.   So, he must have used the fact that he was, technically, immortal to   jumpstart his path to godhood, and you helped him out by putting religious   works where people could get them?

Exotic   Pleasures

That’s   one way of looking at it, yes. The technical matters are a little more   complex, obviously, but that’s the gist of it. So, I was only too happy to   help out with crushing Vinastra. Allowed me to get some combat data on this   new monster I acquired recently.

Black   Knight

You   mean those Lewd Radiation Slimes? I only saw them from afar, but Wyrmfang’s   dragons saw what those things were doing, and it was… yeah, not something I’d   put in my own dungeon, just yet.

Succubus’s   Dream

So,   what do ‘Lewd Radiation Slimes’ do? I mean, they have one of my favorite   words in the name, so I gotta know!

Exotic   Pleasures

Well,   it is a combination of a few things. Radiation Slimes are large slimes, about   the size of an ogre, which are basically pure uranium gel. Very dangerous to   anyone nearby, unless they have immunity (or at least a severe resistance) to   radiation.

Then,   you add on the Lewd template, which essentially takes a creature, and makes them   constantly looking to mate and reproduce, while emitting pheromones that make   individuals unable to do anything but want to get fucked.

This   makes the normal Radiation Slime act more like the ‘breeder’ type of slimes. No   idea whether it is actually possible for new creatures to be born of the   breeding, since that much radiation usually is enough to kill the Tier 1 and   2 subjects I’ve used to test them on before now within hours, and even the   Slime Lords need 24 hours for any slimes to eat their way out of the host.

Succubus’s   Dream

Ooohkay.   So, not really something I’d be looking for in my dungeon. Radiation   poisoning is not a pretty way to die.

Scholarium

No, it   is not. And I am very curious as to this ‘Lewd template’ you have. Templates   are known, of course, but where did this come from?

Exotic   Pleasures

Got it   after one of the initial gods I enshrined in my dungeon set up shop. I’ll let   you figure out which one.

Scholarium

Fascinating.   It is known that different gods give boons to the dungeon as payment for giving   up part of their realm to the shrine, but so few dungeons actually   incorporate shrines without becoming corrupted by the god’s influence that   unbiased accounts are difficult to come by.

Exotic   Pleasures

Most   dungeons with a god enshrined are usually dedicated to a single god, yes? How   many are there that have shrines for an entire pantheon? Or a group of   similarly-aligned gods? Because I also found an extra effect from having   three gods with similar domains enshrined in my dungeon.

Scholarium

Oh   dear. I really have to get in touch with the research department, and figure   out some way to study this. Obviously, I can’t use myself, but there has to   be some way to study the influence of different gods, and the combinations!

Exotic   Pleasures

You   would need a dungeon that had ‘woken up’ to get any real data. And that means   you’d need to likely force them to incorporate multiple gods into their   dungeon. That’s a good way to start getting your research team marked as   Dungeon Foes. And that’s assuming that the God of Dungeons doesn’t get upset.

Scholarium

What,   why would he get upset?

Greengrass

Because   you’d be effectively enslaving another dungeon to run these experiments.   Probably multiple dungeons. And how would you clean up after? You have some   way to remove all that religious stuff from a dungeon without killing it, or cutting   apart its soul? And what do you do if an experiment causes something out of   control? Destroy the dungeons? Or find some way to enslave them and keep them   suppressed?

Scholarium

Um,   well. I am sure that the researchers would think about those questions before   they actually did anything.

Exotic   Pleasures

Have   you ever actually MET any researchers? Because I can already tell you   that statement was pure shit.

Scholarium

Ugh,   fine. So, what was it that changed with Pofmis? Had to be something if   Theocracy is all upset.

Theocracy’s   Might

Upset?   UPSET? UPSET?!? YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I’M UPSET! POFMIS HAS CHANGED FROM A   GODDESS OF FREEDOM AND LIGHT TO WILLING SUBMISSION TO ENSLAVEMENT! THIS   SCREWS WITH EVERYTHING!

Exotic   Pleasures

Oh,   don’t forget that Pofmis, herself, is also enslaved. And maimed.

Greengrass

Not   helping, Pleasures.

Scholarium

Oh,   dear. That certainly is a big change. I can see why that has caused a major fluctuation   in the galactic power balance. Pofmisians were able to influence several key individuals   in the recent elections, having them suddenly change, with most of her   followers going and enslaving themselves? That will drastically change how   things are.

Theocracy’s   Might

The   ruling party in the Galactic Senate is probably going to lose their majority.   This is going to be a major shakeup! Who knows what will happen?

Exotic   Pleasures

Who   cares, as long as it stays out of our dungeons? There are limits to what a   dungeon can actually do outside its realm, after all, unless some specific   criteria are met. Especially if they don’t have an avatar that they can   reinforce and send out of the dungeon, if only briefly.

Theocracy’s   Might

YOU   SHUT YOUR MOUTH! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

Exotic   Pleasures

One: This   is not my fault. The Vinastrans didn’t want to listen to reason, so what   happened is on them.

Two: Or   what? You gonna try and make me? Gonna buy a Galactic Core to try and take me   on?

Theocracy’s   Might

No,   but I’ll have the best assassins in the galaxy out hunting for a way to take   you out!

Exotic   Pleasures

You   are welcome to try at any time. Just know that the last three times anyone   has tried to conquer me multiple times. Each time, they’ve been humiliated,   beaten back, and either destroyed or enslaved. Just ask Pofmis what happened   to her Golden Host, if you don’t believe me.

Theocracy’s   Might

Maybe   not today, or even the next, but mark my words, before the end of my life, I   will see you destroyed!

Exotic   Pleasures

Suuure   you will. Sit down, Theo, and just concentrate on not attracting too much   attention when your ‘assessments’ come due. Because once humans start getting   out into the wider galaxy, some things are going to change.