News 29/09-2022 (Patreon)

Hi everyone (long post)

It has been a while and shit went from worse to catastrophic in just a few weeks after I cancelled SotF. Depression had really gotten the better of me up to me cancelling the project and I had dug myself down into a hole again in the company of oxy and codein … and a lot of it.

My doc suddenly realized that I was popping them like candy, and we had words. I was forced to cut down on the meds, of course, and I went to see a shrink … again.

Somehow, she helped me get back on track with the meds and managed to pull me up from the hole. I even reached a point where I wanted to cook again and actually eat something healthier than junk food. That was when things really went downhill. I lifted a pot from the stove and my back went from reasonable to … not reasonable is the understatement of the century.

Somehow this movement managed to throw me back twenty years and I could now look forward to starting all over again. I had long forgotten how terrible the pains were back then but it’s funny how easily your memory can be jolted back in time.

I had the wits to drop the pot on the stove before I fell on the floor. Luckily, I have my phone with me at all times so I could call my youngest to come help me into bed. I am so thankful that she lives close to me.

A quick word with my doc the next morning made him up my medication and add a little extra umph so I could get some resemblance of rest. The MRI showed that I had sustained the exact same injury from 20 years ago and I have to admit that I was devastated.

I was referred to the local hospital for a possible surgery as I could not see myself surviving going forward with this kind of pain and lack of mobility. The 75% risk of being paralyzed from the waist down was still a thing, and they were not able to reassure me that even if I was paralyzed the pain would go away. In effect I could end up being both paralyzed and having these crazy pains in my back. Their advice was that I contemplate a few days before making such a decision as their advice was to not get surgery. They would do it if I was adamant about it, but they strongly suggested that I shouldn’t get the surgery.

Fast forward ten days. I went to sleep just hoping for a just a few hours of rest. High as a kite and I did fall asleep. When I woke up again, I had slept for six hours, but more importantly … there was no pain in my back! Befuddled I got out of bed, and it was not a trick of my imagination – the back pain was gone!

I have never in my life felt such a relief in my body. I lack the vocabulary to describe this feeling and the emotions that flooded me. Grown men don’t cry … they weep! I popped some more meds and got back into bed because I was feeling strangely exhausted and the next time, I opened my eyes I had gotten twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep. The pain in my back was still gone and it still is to this day.

What had happened? My doc’s very scientific response was: “It’s a miracle!” I am not very religiously inclined, but I have to admit that I have thanked God quite a few times since this happened. The neurologists have explained that this kind of injury usually goes in itself within a year in 99% of the times. There are a select few where it does not. I was one of the select few for twenty years and now I am suddenly cured.

I have been very mindful with myself and my body these last weeks and I have even managed to drop half of my medication intake. Still no pain. I was a little worried that the pain had only receded to a level where the medication could effectively combat them. Well I still have another half to get rid of so I may discover this going forward, but right now I am full of hope for the future, which is something that has been severely lacking for quite a while.

The past five years have been more than just a nightmare all in all. From the beginning where I took up the mantle of game developer it feels like Murphy put a collar around my neck and attached a leash to it so he could jank me back if things were beginning to go too well for me. Maybe he has found a new favorite victim (poor soul), or he has reasoned that I am not fun anymore.

There is a long road ahead of me with physical therapy. Both for me to lose weight (I have gained forty pounds over the past twenty years) and to build some muscle again. My physical therapist claims that she will have me back in better shape than I was twenty years ago, but it may take me between one to two years depending on how slow we need to take it. For the first time in decades I am actually looking forward to living.

It is a long post, but I feel like I owe you some good news about my life considering how many times I have given you bad news in the past and I think this news is as good as it can possibly get for me.

What about the future of SotF? Well, I have decided to live a little before returning to the project and over the next six months I will go wherever my inspiration and creativity takes me in regard to making erotic comics. Come April 2023, I will hopefully be able return to working on SotF.

I want to able to work eight hours a day before I get back in the saddle, so it may even be more than six months, or if I am lucky and physical therapy really kicks off, it may even be less – I am hopeful!

Cheers - Kaffekop