What have i learn from this life crisis (Patreon)

i want to talk about this on my FB page but it seem too much people there , i dont want to disapoint ppl in public . atleast this is the only place that i feel safe .

Previously you know that am very struggle to maintain the basic of my life routine quite a bit . everything throwing at me and my work schedule is completely ruinous.

am on the emotional roller coaster and it seem never ending .

I will be honest here: my life problem is still far from solved, one step at a time.

but i realize something that important .  at the end of the day i have to live with it .   it seem am already used to it now  , so much mental wound inside and the pain  already feel numb .   am into the point that am dont really care about other shit anymore  .   the pain inside does't go away  i have to accept and embrace it .

and now am completly understand why some of adult seem does't really care about other thing that much   maybe they already have so much scar inside   in other word " psychological trauma "  to the point where everything mean nothing to them , one or two more stab does't feel pain anymore .  



Now am here to continue follow my goal  improve my work / Making (degenerate) content / doing productive stuff .

but am gonna focus on small artwork / small project first . just for recovery me from boredom / Brownout / tiredness .  ( atleast have some dopamine kick is good )

The commission project still on the run . but am gonna work on it  if my body is ready enough ( am not happy to send the below standard work to client) . it gonna took more time to reaching every quene i hope you understand



Am sorry to being a unstable emotional    . am promise to not give you up   and never let you down .   even am to the point that other thing does't matter to me . but the only i know for real now   .  Am not gonna stop follow my goal    the end of  journey is over my dead body .

Thank to be on myside . and bless all of you for keep supporting me even am in this bad shape .