The Rogue Who Stole Gender - Roxy Lalonde (Patreon)

Hello everyone. Happy Pride Month! HomestuckExamination and Wakraya are commonly the two usernames most people know me by. But my actual name is Roxy.

Out of every single character in Homestuck, Jade and Roxy resonate with me more than everyone else, and Roxy, specifically, is someone that I've always related to on a certain personal level. So, yes, as a trans girl, I chose the name Roxy based entirely on a character from a Webcomic, whom I also headcanoned to be a trans girl.

But in the wake of the Epilogues we've gotten another very interesting take on Roxy's relationship with gender, and I am, honestly, living for it.

So let's dive into their gender exploration journey, and see what we can gather from everyone's favorite Strilonde.

( Note: Sorry to all Rose/Dave/Dirk fans. I know they're equally beloved. This is just for the transition. ;o )

Meat vs Candy

For those who haven't read the Epilogues yet, or have no intention of reading them because of the darker themes tackled within, be warned, there will be spoilers!

Out of everything the Epilogues crammed in 200k~ words of pain, one of the most positive developments we saw across timelines has to be Roxy's exploration of their gender, a journey that actually gives us some really interesting insight on their overall character and personal thoughts. As a Void Player, many of their logical leaps and actions are veiled behind a bit of an eccentric personality. Take, for instance, Mom Lalonde.

The first things we learn about Roxy Lalonde, we learn them through Rose's Mom, the Beta, Adult mirror of their self. Initially, she's presented as this mysterious and weird figure that makes little sense to poor Rose. Everyone's relationship with their Guardians are showcased in a comedic fashion until later on when they begin to deconstruct exactly what was going on in their lives from a young age. And while there's a shade of absurdity colouring her actions, the reality of her being an alcoholic taking care of 13 year old Rose is worrying to say the least. Specially as, if you do believe Rose's passive-aggressive take on her actions, there's a certain contentious, condescending nature to all of these strange things she does.

Of course this couldn't be further from the truth.

Behind all her eccentricism, Rose's Mom is a rather tragic figure. Having been working with Skaianet from a young age, at the very least since the events of Hiveswap and Hauntswitch, she had foreknowledge of what was going to happen to the World, the purpose of SBURB, and her own origin as an Ectobiological clone within the Veil. If you believe some of the Cursed History of Skaianet to still hold true, as well, Condy's hold over Crockercorp and Skaianet, and whatever happens in Hiveswap and Hauntswitch, aren't an easy to take cocktail.

Alcohol, then, as a Rogue of Void, becomes an apparent go-to tactic by Beta Roxy to escape from the stress of working for an alien tyrant, and the predestination of participating in the end of the world. Sadly, this excessive intake ends up muddling her true and good intentions to Rose. Her over-the-top actions such as Jaspers' funeral, and her overly expensive indulgence in their shared interests, such as wizards, seem like attempts to overcompensate, to bring her and Rose closer together, that are taken out of context as the passive-aggressive, drunken eccentricity of a woman that doesn't care all that much about her daughter.

And Roxy Lalonde, in the Alpha-verse, is not that different.

Through the entirety of the Alpha Session, Roxy shows themself to be probably the most competent and well put together out of the Alphas, which is interesting given they begin their journey almost constantly drunk and rather dysfunctional. Once they enter, they manage to push away their drink, as they become able to interact directly with their friends. And while everyone falls apart, they attempt to keep the group united and help them push forward. But trying to be everyone's friend and keep everyone safe, while Condy tries to manipulate them into making the Matriorb, and having to deal with Calliope being seemingly gone, it puts a heavy amount of stress on them. It takes its toll and weighs on them, because all they want is for everyone to be happy, get along. All they ever wanted was to reunite with family and be able to be with their friends, and be kind to those around them.

Roxy is a very group-driven person. To a fault, even, to the point of overlooking the flaws of people they're trying to get along with, to the point of fantasizing quickly about being together with people they've just met, to the point of neglecting their own wants and their own will just for the sake of others. A community, a family, a group of friends. Perhaps it could be seen as them trying to fill in the void within themself? That's not my call to make here. Let's roll this back to the Epilogues.

This 'selfless to a fault' personality of theirs is very, very easy to see in the Candy Route. She quickly gets together with John, the moment she sees he's not going to realize any grand destiny, and practically gets married on a whim.

While her attraction to him was rather foreshadowed, even John starts to notice that not only does she seem to be pushing things and not being too clear about her intentions, she's becoming extremely complacent and compliant with every single thing he wants. Never talking back, never showing an opinion. True to her nature as a Void Player, and being so 'selfless', she attempts to live a happy, married life. She attempts to follow a basic, heteronormative, monogamous relationship.

Roxy has a good grasp on these concepts, on what it is to force a romantic relationship, both from their relationship with Dirk and the 'Last Human on Earth' conundrum, as well as their Wizard Fic that touches heavily on metanarrative concepts that apply both to Homestuck's themes, as well as their own outlook on reality around them to an extent.

We know for a fact that Roxy does have problems with her relationship with John, and problems with herself. She also doesn't like what Jane is doing, obviously, but still allows it to happen, because she's trying to make it work. Her attempt at being happy, her way to try and go through life, is to lay back and hope things fall into place without making her own voice be heard. She doesn't want to feel like she's pushing her own desires on others, and relegating herself to a supporting character role. But it doesn't work. Jane goes off the rails, and she ends up breaking her bonds with her. John becomes frustrated with what he sees as a frivolous reality, and their relationship falls apart.

And it's then, when John comes to apologize, that Roxy starts to talk about her life, about her problems, and about her relationship to gender. When she opens about all that'd been on her mind while this went down. She mentions even having not felt like a woman. Disliking her body. Fearing that pregnancy would just exacerbate everything that she didn't feel 'belonged'. But much like how she looks for happiness in marriage and other social constructs, Roxy actually finds pregnancy to make being a woman feel better for her. It gives her body, that she wasn't happy with, a mechanical purpose, allowing herself to distance from it personally, for the sake of her child. At this point in her life, Roxy is not uncomfortable to be referred to as a woman, however that doesn't mean she's any more or less cis or trans than in Meat. It just means she found a different way to express herself, that felt right, in a different set of circumstances.

Then we have Roxy in Meat. As opposed to Candy Roxy, John goes to face Lord English, and he's left alone with Calliope. At first, exploring a neutral identity alongside Callie, who also finds comfort in it, and then presenting himself as a man, with shades and a haircut that may or may not leave him looking like Dave's cooler twin. In this reality, Roxy doesn't seek comfort in a heteronormative relationship with John, and instead begins to explore his identity early and unrestrained. For once, he focuses on how he feels and how he wants to present himself to those around him.

But as I mentioned, there's nuance to this exploration of gender. Having a character realize they're trans and they've always been a man or a woman is important representation, but the way Roxy goes through it showcases something I have rarely seen in media of this kind- A certain fluidity to gender identity, an escalation in the search of who they are and what feels right, seeking comfort in yourself in different situations, the way you can present two entirely different ways in two entirely different circumstances and still appear happy and content with yourself.

Candy Roxy finds comfort in giving her body a purpose, and living for her family. Meat Roxy finds comfort in exploring his identity, and changing his appearance to match his feelings. And both are completely valid and important readings of the same character, that lead to the same core message.

That Roxy said "Fuck Gender", and tried to live the best life they could in each timeline.

Past, Present, Future

Roxy's journey to discover their identity is far from over. This much has been said by CepheidVariable, which means the Epilogues are but the starting point for them. Wherever it is they end up finding comfort, whether they feel this fluidity making them go back and forth or settle wherever it is they want on the spectrum, though, Roxy is a trans icon, and I am so happy to see them take this first step to discover themselves. I am very, very excited to see both the WhatPumpkin Team and the Fandom come up with different interpretations and readings of their arc and character.

However, finding out about their identity has come with a bit of conflict, on one hand with people having different Headcanons, and on the other, with people generally disliking the Epilogue and putting a hard divide between Homestuck canon and it.

I feel it's important to acknowledge Roxy's identity, but also to not bash on people who still shun the Epilogues or prefer reading Roxy's early character as a trans girl. Just like in Candy, and how her push for a heteronormative relationship and shutting herself down doesn't end up making her and John any happier, but she manages to find comfort in her identity, however it is you headcanon them, an exploration of their gender despite the circumstances they are in is pivotal to her character. The important takeaway of their arc truly is that gender is a meaningless construct, and you must chase what feels right to you, even if what feels right changes over time or fluctuates in different circumstances.

Finding comfort and pride in different facets of your identity, learning to cope with those feelings, and finding the best way for you to be happy. Their exploration of Gender is messy and very complex, and I love that. I love that they go through it in steps. That they don't firmly set one way or another across timelines. That they could be seen any way that isn't 'cis female'.

And so, we end Pride Month, with a reminder that in this house, we love and appreciate Roxy Lalonde.

See you soon everybody!