Heavy Metal Pun (Patreon)

Sometimes a full story comes to me, or at least I'll get an idea that I can easily use to carry across a story. And sometimes I get an idea that is more of a seed, something that needs to be planted and nurtured and takes time to grow.

This is the latter. The idea was simple: ultra-fat heavy metal fan who can be a real danger in a mosh pit. But that's not a story, and it didn't feel like enough to just introduce such a character and then have her get fatter. Initially I was just writing a scene, the character who would become Adaya and her fellow metalhead friends going to a music festival. As I wrote I filled in the backstory of the characters, with a vague idea of Adaya getting kicked out of a mosh pit for being too fat as the end of the story.

But as I developed the history of Adaya and Jack I decided to write how they started dating, which at first was going to be that Adaya's sister had gone out with Jack a couple times, nothing came of it, but Adaya was interested so she went with Jack to a metal show and got hooked on the scene. Then I excised the older sister as being superfluous and eventually came up with this finished story.

Except I'm not sure it qualifies as 'finished.' It doesn't feel like a full story, which I allude to at the ending by saying Adaya hasn't arrived anywhere so much as started on a new path.

And adding to all this is the fact that I'm not an actual metalhead. I have a few metal bands in my music collection, but I'm very much an outsider to the scene. So I'm not even sure if what I've written here feels genuine, even on a superficial level, or if it's just an embarrassing mess on my part.

Hence why I'm making this public instead of one September's exclusive stories. My experience getting feedback on my stories is very underwhelming, just a lot of 'Great story's, but I figure if I have any metalhead fans maybe they'll have thoughts or critiques.