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Hello everyone

It's been a few weeks now since my last post and announcement.

The decisions I made weren't easy for me and I find it difficult to write this statement as well. I felt pretty numb for a while, almost like I was sick. Knowing the source was mental, it was interesting to see the physical reaction. Body and mind are one thing after all.

Something I realized was that the issues stemmed near entirely from the expectations I felt and the interactions I've had with you all. And I found some core issues within myself and my past that caused the strong response and anxiety that I felt in the past months. Other things I'm still working out.

The good thing is that announcing the break, the removal of advance chapters from patreon rewards, and the removal of a schedule helped alleviate a huge chunk of my anxiety. It of course came with other things but it was the only way I could move forward in any feasible manner. I wouldn't say that I'm as well as I could be, but I'm better. And I hope I continue to get better.

I value this community. I value all the comments, all the interaction, the discussions on here, on Royalroad, on discord, and the messages I get. And I apologize that I had to take that away in some sense. Thank you for the overwhelming support, the nice messages, tons of comments, and for the patience. I really do appreciate it.

I don't want to talk about writing and my plans as that goes against the idea of removing my schedule, and the anxiety of managing expectations. For now, all that I will say is that the end of the month is coming up and that I will implement the patreon tier changes as previously announced. If you wish to cancel your subscription, please do so before the first of March.

- 2$ tier Azarinth Healer - This tier will be unpublished. Meaning that those of you who are subscribed on that tier remain in that tier (until you cancel) but new people won't be able to see or subscribe to this tier.

- 5$ tier Ash Wielder (All chapters tier) - I will remove the all chapters tier description and all the mentions of rewards. Chapters ahead will remain the same until the start of March, when I will start to catch up Royalroad. The tier will only include the first line "Thanks for supporting my writing :)." Somehow seeing that smiley face made me laugh. With the context in mind. So yeah, know that if you remain in that tier, it is purely for supporting me as a being that eats and sleeps.

- 10$ tier - Might reword it to only include access to side stories and not new ones. Mainly a support tier as well. I might consider options to move side story content to the 5$ tier in the future.


Note that I have taken your suggestions into consideration. These changes are not a business decision but one based on mental health issues. I will keep you updated as I see fit.

Until then, thank you again, for the insane support and the lovely words.

Comments

Anonymous

Thanks for update. Take care of yourself 👍

Matt R.

Glad you broke the silence. Good to have a plan.

Jeremiah Paltridge

Great to hear from you. We read so much of your writing and a bit of the author always bleeds through. We want you to be successful in both your health and your writing. It's good to know you're continuing to rebuild and create a system that works. Cheers to next steps.

PlasmaticPi

Glad to hear you are making progress towards getting into a healthier state!

Alexander Dupree

Good luck and thanks for the update. Mental health is as important and debilitating as physical health.

Anonymous

Glad to see you're doing a bit better! And tomorrow is Elden Ring day, fellow Tarnished. Ooooooh!

zoli bassoff

Thank you for giving us an update. Other authors said they feel reading comments are to stressful. I do not know if stopping having comment section would help. I care about reading the story much much more than commenting

Anonymous

As someone seriously impacted by depression, I absolutely understand all these things. I just hope to see a conclusion to the amazing story of Ilea.

Anonymous

Thank you for writing this wonderful story and thank you for looking out for yourself! I've been here from very early on and I feel like I haven't wasted a cent. I can't justify continuing to pay with how tight on money I am right now but know that I'll always enjoy your writing. I haven't said this in a long time: Thanks for the chapters!

Anonymous

I signed up to support you and the story. The early chaps are just a bonus in my view.

Gardor

You eat and sleep? There's your problem.

Anonymous

Enjoy yourself as much as you possibly can. I hope that takes you to a better place tomorrow than yesterday.

Anonymous

I hope you continue to get better *thumbs up*

Anonymous

Do what you need for your health. I am just glad that you have at least been able to identify some of your anxiety triggers.

Sean

Thanks for the update. I hope you can find what works for you in the future. I'll stick around for a couple months before reassessing.

Aclys

Glad you are doing better!

Anonymous

The removal of $2 tier is not a business decision? I'll remain in that tier and I think you should keep it. It's good to have a poor-man tier so people who want to support but can't do $5 or more still can. Often times I want to support someone on Patreon but they lack a poor-man tier. Also, I want to add that I seldom offer any input here or elsewhere because I don't want you to feel pressured.

Deinos

You do you bro, I'll stick to my 7$ hidden tier come what may.

Anonymous

Happy to know you are making progress. I know from experience that anxiety and depression it's a hard thing to get over so i can only wish you good luck and take care!

Sierra Saldierna

As a fellow traveler on this gloomy path, I couldn't agree more. Also(to the author) know that whatever you do from here, what you have created is already a breathtaking legacy. Even should you leave this story unfinished, Ilea will fight on in worlds beyond us.

AL

Take the time you need to recover, health is more important that anything else.

Justin

Good work on admitting something is up and doing something about it. It's very tough to acknowledge. Best of luck.

Doodlyboy15

Hope you continue to do even better! My way of solving problems is avoiding them and hoping they go away, unfourtunately this has actually worked for me and now I have a bad habit.

Terry Stevens

Hey G. Great to hear from you, though surprised, thought that it would be March till you were back. I actually think making all the chapters and side stories available to the £5 is a good idea. Maybe make the £10 tier into a series of emoticon telling a little story for the description. If the £5’ers get a smiley face, we should get two smiley faces, at least! But seriously Dude, mate, buddy ole pal, it is good to hear you are on the mend. Keep it up, please. No more breaking of yourself. I look forward to more updates, keep safe and enjoy!

Monus

Personally, I think it is kinda sad to see advanced chapters go. I like the idea overall. I never paid for x chapters a month or week only for staying ahead of the public releases. And maybe due to my upbringing I don't like wasting money - as in not gaining anything for spending money. I guess if removing advanced chapters helps you mentally that is golden. I am just sad to see them gone because I liked paying for them. Regardless of my personal feelings I hope you'll get better. Take care and thanks for the Update!

Anonymous

Glad to hear from you and thank you for the update. For what it's worth, I like patreon's that offer a 1 dollar tier that gives nothing. It lets me support the artist and basically subscribe to any blog posts without feeling like I'm entitled to anything. For example, Rhapsody's 1 dollar tier reward is entirely "Block ads on YouTube without guilt, I absolve you of your sin"

Straven

Thanks for the update, keep working on taking care of yourself and I hope you find a center point to balance things out.

Anonymous

Thank you for letting us know i hope you are feeling better and do what you need to you have my support.

Anonymous

good work so far keep at it. do what makes you feel good. Carpe diem (seize the day). take it a day at a time and do what you need.

Gardor

Yeah I was afraid to bring that up, I assumed my $7 tier was a clerical error or something and I didn't want to bring attention to it.

Anonymous

I'm glad to hear there's some progress on the stress front. I hope things get better. I'm just gonna let things ride and revisit my sub someday in the future when I happen to think of it. Your output was so crazy high for soo long that in my mind you got way ahead of where I expect for a normal sub. Happy trails...

Anonymous

Hey we all have our strengths and weaknesses. I’m glad that you are able and willing to confront your own limitations. That’s takes a lot of willpower. Anyways good luck in the future.

Anonymous

"Oh, is stress getting better? Well, I'll see you in Elden Ring," - Hidetaka Miyazaki Time to unleash some violence haha

Dragon Gate

Hi, glad to hear you are on the mend. Remember that it was a Marathon to get were we are, not a Race. The Rest will be finished at whatever pace suits you.

Anonymous

Thank you for the update! glad to hear things are starting to look up. we are here for the journey with you! So, take care of yourself!

Nate

I'll miss this story for the next while, but I'd rather you be in a good place to write it than force yourself. Enjoy elden ring!

Anonymous

Honestly, this story has been a great addition to my life since your first week of posting in RR. Just do your thing dude and post whenever. I've been impressed at your consistency and transparency since the beginning and you've earned my respect already. I'll be just as thankful and satisfied with you finishing the story as you see fit.

Anonymous

as always, best of luck as you find your way thru all this. It sounds like it's already paying dividends in terms of less stress, so GJ!

Anonymous

Not to butt into your mental health but have you considered looking for the toughest monster around and beating the shit out of it? Heard somewhere it could help.

Anonymous

honestly, the # of authors I like that have issues kinda or sort along these lines is just worrisome. I think any new author really, really needs a mental health strategy from the start, esp given the inevitable toxic comments and literally endless desire for "moar schtoooriee now!".

M. Gunnarsson

Yeah the current book market is pretty insane. Not everyone can be happy producing huge quantities of quality stories on a tight schedule and it sucks to see them breaking themselves trying. Especially the people who wants to write quality over quantity but can't make a living that way. :(

Anonymous

true. On the "glass half full" side, tho, quite a few RR authors w/ patreons are making *serious* money, far, far in excess of what any but the very rare JKR/king/whoever outliers made in the past. I'm pretty sure this is, hands down, the best time to be an author in history. I have half a dozen I follow who are in the "near 200k/yr" range. That's *so fucking unprecedented* it's hard to convey. Traditionally, gatekeepers and noncreator middlemen got most of the sales. There's a reason there's so much good writing online now, and authors are going overboard. For the first time ever, it actually pays reasonably. I think it's great! But, burnout/haters/stress/etc are all still very, very real. IMHO, ofc.