Alright alright alright this is the last weirdo "product advertisement" joint I've got for y'all.
It's out of my system for sure now.

...Probably.

Anyway this one I'm sure already exists somewhere IRL: brass knuckles as hairbands were probably flying off the Hot Topic shelves since the 80s... but maybe not with the express intent of the purchasers gifting their well-hung boy-toys a handy handle for vigorous oral antics, eh?