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They crossed the lobby of 432 Park Avenue hand in hand. It was still busier than normal, but this time the scrutiny didn’t bother her. They caught an empty car up to the penthouse and when she turned toward the hallway, she came to a stop because he hadn’t released her. She hung her head, dreading the inquisition, but he didn’t say a thing, he just waited.

When she faced him, his hand went to her waist and drew her against him. Again, no questions, just silence. She looked up, taking in the proud features that had captured her interest across a ballroom. The intimidating stare that chilled Ariana to the core, comforted her. As she took him in, she realized how ludicrous it was to feel protective of him. Roth didn’t need anyone to stand up for him. He didn’t care what anyone thought of him, but she couldn’t help herself. Maybe there was something wrong with her for being drawn to a man like him, but she was done questioning it. He was right. There was something between them, something she hadn’t found with anyone else. Something monumental, inexorable, and relentless. He was capable of terrible things, but there was also goodness in him. She found herself thinking of the Uber who picked them up the day of her college graduation. Roth took the time to give him sound business advice. What man in his position would bother? Mo and Johan hinted that he had assisted them in some way as well, while Sarai had shared her story. Interesting that Roth didn’t try to change her idea about his character, but others leapt at the chance to do it for him. But she’d gotten glimpses of a different man behind his stoic facade and had her memories of a much younger Roth, one who wasn’t jaded, cynical, and cruel. She wasn’t sure if that was the real him or if he had been playing a role, but she didn’t care.

Heart quaking, she reached up and clasped his nape. He obeyed the light pressure and leaned down, eyes watchful as she went on tiptoe and kissed him. He didn’t pull away as she splayed her hand across his bristly cheek and deepened the kiss as her eyes burned with tears. She had always been an outsider. No one understood or accepted her for who she was. Her family tolerated her, but she knew they gossiped about her behind her back. This was just the first time she’d interrupted their routine. It was worse than she thought it would be. Ariana thought she had an affair and married Roth because she was being rebellious. Her sister refused to believe that she loved him. Colette read the first book, which detailed their first meet and how she was captivated by a stranger who dared to defy her father’s strict dress code. How could she not be intrigued by a man who had accomplished so much without assistance? His grit, perseverance, and raw intellect, untainted by the polish of her father’s world, drew her like a moth to a flame. The fact that her sisters chalked up her marriage to a childish need to thumb her nose at authority ate at her gut.

A tear slipped down her cheek as she poured her fears, confusion, and hope into him. She fell for a man who listened to the ramblings of a lost and lonely girl. He looked at her as a woman, one he desired enough to risk the well-being of his companies. Seeing herself through his eyes, it was no wonder she surrendered all to him. Just as she was doing now.

Roth didn’t take over the kiss, but accepted what she had to give, displaying patience she didn’t know he possessed. It allowed her to tease and coax and explore. When she wrapped her arms around his neck, he picked her up, and carried her to the bedroom. When he set her on her feet, she urged him to sit on the edge of the bed. Again, he complied, almost as if he knew she needed this. The fact that this man, one who rarely gave up control, was indulging her, soothed the cuts Ariana’s words had caused. Maybe she didn’t belong with her family and never would, but for the moment, she had this. Him.

Her lips left his and trailed along his jaw and then the cords on his neck as she undid his tie and then the buttons of his shirt. When she splayed her hand on his bare chest, she felt his heart thudding beneath her palm. He wanted her. That was one thing she was sure of. It wouldn’t last forever, she knew that. Once he conquered her and exhausted his revenge-driven fantasies, his attention would detach itself from her and find another target. Men like him, men like her father, weren’t good at maintaining relationships. They chased, conquered, married because their need to possess was part of who they were, and they released once they were through. Her father’s marriages with Colette and Ariana’s mothers didn’t go beyond two years. If the rumors were true, her mother didn’t even last three months. At least she wouldn’t have to deal with his disinterest when it came. Their deadline protected her from that eventuality. Until then, she would indulge to her heart’s content.

**This is a raw draft of Bitter Confessions. Please do not share or distribute.

I don't know why, but this passage makes my heart hurt :(. This scene continues with this one. It probably makes more sense why he's letting her take the reins. Also, this sex scene connects with this snippet.