C 1, PT. 2 (Patreon)

It wasn’t nearly as romantic, but it would have to do. “Okay, but he has to love me to death.”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

She tugged on a lock of her unruly hair and grimaced. “I don’t look like my sisters or the heroines in these books, who usually have raven black or blond hair paired with blue, green, or violet eyes. I don’t have freckles or red hair or anything that makes me stand out. Just brown hair and brown eyes. I’m so ordinary.”

“You’re gorgeous just as you are,” Thea interjected sharply, but Jasmine ignored her.

“What if I turn out short like my mom? It’s going to be so embarrassing!”

“I’m sure your father can find you a short husband to match you.” Thea cackled at her horrified gasp. “Don’t worry yourself about such things. Enjoy being a child.”

Jasmine put her hands on hips. “I’m officially a teen.”

Thea’s eyes twinkled. “My apologies.”

“And,” she stressed, “I’m reading way above my age group.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

Thea came around the island to clasp Jasmine’s face between weathered hands.

“Don’t be in a rush to grow up. Enjoy having summer vacations. Run outside, read by the lake, nap in the sun. Don’t worry about how tall you’re going to be or what sort of man you’ll fall in love with. It’ll happen when you least expect it. And Jasmine.” Thea gave her a mock glare. “Your hair and eye color doesn’t make a girl a princess. It’s in here.” Thea tapped her chest, over her heart. “And yours is made of pure gold. Don’t forget that.”

Jasmine allowed Thea to pull her into a hug.

“I’m tired of being alone,” Jasmine mumbled into her shoulder.

“You aren’t alone. I’m here.”

“But you don’t live here.”

“I’m here every morning before you wake and eat dinner with you when you can bear to tear yourself away from your books.”

“It’s not the same. I want a family. I can’t wait to get married. If I had a husband, I wouldn’t be alone.”

“You’ll have one when you’re old enough.”

“It’s taking so long,” she whined.

Thea stroked her hair.

“I want him to be big and strong, so he can carry me whenever I feel like it.”

Her face bounced on Thea’s chest as the housekeeper chuckled.

“I want to have a big wedding right here by the lake.” She pointed without lifting her head. “I want him to be handsome and smart and a reader like me, so we can talk about books, and he doesn’t judge what I read.” Her tone dropped, became subdued. “Dad thinks these books are polluting my mind.”

Thea lay a protective hand on her head. “That’s his opinion.”

“If he knew about my writing…”

“Let’s keep that to ourselves.”

She hugged Thea tight. “Thank you.”

“No thanks needed, miss. When you’re here, you can be whoever you want to be. Just remember who you are when you’re outside these walls.”

The warning was loud and clear. Jasmine nodded before she raised her head.

“Summer’s almost over.”

“Yes. Soon you’ll be back at school.” Thea pushed her toward the door. “Get some fresh air before you dive into your next book.”

Jasmine snatched two chicken skewers on her way out and lifted her face to the sun as she made her way to the lake. For the first time, she noticed the cloudless sky and registered the heat. She paused on the shore and grimaced at the sprawling estates opposite them. She wanted open ocean, distant lands, tropical islands, and white castles that glinted in the sun. She glanced back at her home, which was impressive, but she had no one to share it with.

She held the bare skewers between her fingers and stared at the water, lost in thought. Reading above her age level meant that the romance between Amir and Naida had been more explicit than any book she’d read so far. The intimate scenes made her tummy flutter and caused an odd, hollow ache in her chest that she knew instinctively wouldn’t be fulfilled until she had her own Amir. Uncharted Waters took her on an emotional rollercoaster that she didn’t want to get off of. If falling in love with a fictional character was this exhilarating, she wasn’t sure if she’d survive the real thing.

She loved that Amir let Naida choose their path. He didn’t care what she decided as long as they were together. Although she’d initially been ecstatic about the ending, Thea had a point. Naida deciding to enter Amir’s world meant a lifelong, uphill battle. Naida may never be accepted. She would have Amir, but would that be enough with everyone scheming to break them apart and rooting for her to fail? They would have been happier living by the ocean… Then again, Naida battled pirates. She could take on her haters, even the nasty Queen. At least Naida had her fair share of adventures before she became a strait-laced royal.

Jasmine wrapped her arms around herself. If books had taught her anything, it was that everything happened for a reason. The more pain a character experienced, the bigger the payoff. If she applied that to real life, that meant the latter half of her life was going to be epic. Her mother died when she was a baby, leaving her to be raised by her Greek housekeeper on a sprawling country estate, on the outskirts of her father’s kingdom—Manhattan. She saw her father a handful of times a year, usually during holidays or the summer, when she was expected to shadow him and her sisters at Hennessy Headquarters. But negotiations on some large deals kept her at Tuxedo Park this summer, giving her the opportunity to catch up on dozens of fantasy books that lit her imagination on fire.

She spun on her heel and started back to the house. Thea would have to be satisfied with her spending ten minutes in the sun. Now, she needed pen and paper to see if she could create her own Amir, the perfect man. She tried to imagine what her future husband looked like. Black hair and green eyes? Would he be brave and protective like Amir? Willing to do whatever it took to have her in his life? That closing scene of Amir kneeling at the feet of the fisherman’s daughter in front of the whole town made her heart swell so large, she could barely breathe.

She wanted a husband who thought she was beautiful and special and couldn’t live without her. If he had to live the life of a fisherman to be with her, he would do it. What a gift that would be, to be put first, ahead of a nation.

She’d never been anyone’s priority. When it came to her father, business always came first. Her sister’s second. She was an afterthought. She had never stood out, never been exceptional in any way. But surely, there was a man out there who would see something special in her. Something worth seizing, nourishing, and cherishing. She had so much to give. So much pent-up love that had no outlet. If her husband gave her a chance, she would show him that she could be everything he needed… And if her husband didn’t love her as much as Amir loved Naida, she didn’t want him.

**This is a raw draft of Bitter Confessions. Please do not share or distribute.

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