No more Social Media. (Patreon)

After being sick for four years, I’ve been tired. During my sickness, everything was difficult.

It was difficult to eat. Difficult to move. Difficult to breath. My lungs had been blown previously and were filled with scar tissue, and then with constant bloating, my heart, nerves, lungs and stomach/intestines were under literal constant pressure.

So now my whole left side suffers from damage to my vagus nerve. Even after the gallbladder was removed. So any intestinal cramping caused by eating makes my entire left side go numb and bloating causes heart palpitations.

But now when I eat- I no longer suffer from gallbladder attacks. Which happened after every meal. Every single day. Chinese Medicine was the only thing that helped- for some reason, but even that was just a patch. Nw my gallbladder is gone- so the attacks have stopped.

The damage to my vagus nerve remains. It will heal. I will be ok. I will make it.

Still, after four years of it- I’m tired. Then the drama of people whom are detached from reality online- my inability to understand how they could be the way that they are. I was angry- because I was in so much physical pain every day. This is not an apology- I believe I’ve always maintained to do the right thing.

In my art and game design- there is so much I NEED to do- but I’m emotionally tired too. Every night I felt like I was going to suffocate in my sleep. If I didn’t sit up in the middle of the night and force the air out of my intestines and through my mouth (a freakishly long belch) I couldn’t even swallow.

I would wake up because I was choking.

I had a couple of good nights, but the fear in those moments was real. I’d start breathing again, suck it up and force myself to go back to sleep.

So- I need to heal.

For now: I’m leaving social media. Which is funny, because I actually just got invited to BLUESKY, but- it’s all poison. Every last bit of it. People on there have no attachment to reality after a while, and it hurts all of us.

So, I’ll continue doing art but FOCUSING ON PATREON.

I’ll aso be doing art for the $1 tier, because I believe in doing work for EVERYONE who supports me.

And I know that- without social media- my growth will be extremely limited. But I’ll admit that: I’ve always been awful at promoting myself from the beginning. So terrible. Like, I’ve never understood how that even works.

I’m just tired of the insincerity. The falsehoods.

So my wife says she’s gonna manage that somehow.

If anyone else wants to help out in any way, let me know.

I have no problem with socializing or working with others. But I have noticed that social media somehow discourages the “working with others” part of that anyway. How? I’m not quite sure. Maybe the person that figures it out will have the next big thing in social media.

Anyway, as always, thank you for your support.

My current condition is: My vagus nerve is hurt and my body still hasn’t worked out how it’s supposed to digest properly without a gallbladder. So I’m trying to figure out what medicine go juggle on my own to figure it out.

As for Discord: Undecided. I’m considering deleting everything down to a single channel where people can reach me.

Feel free to give me your thoughts.

Cheers.