Girlfriend trainer. (Patreon)

Let's talk about my personal experiences with haterism.

Over the years I received thousands of hate messages and emails. And I literally mean THOUSANDS!

At the begining (years ago) I would always tell to myself: "Calm down, comrade. You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks". And would just let it slide (unless I was stupid enough to actually reply to those).

But as time went by my emotional response to the whole thing has gotten weaker and weaker... After a while not only I lost an ability to hear "the barking" but I had hard time even noticing "the dog"... My feelings in that regard has gotten sort of numb I suppose...

And I think that is just a natural order of things. You know, like when you visit a Disney-Land for the first time - it's pure magic! (Or whatever). But if you were to work at one and had to visit it every day, you would lose the ability to perceive "the Disney magic" in a matter of days. This is a crude example of course, but I hope it get's my point across.

So haters have a job to do - they hate. And receiving that hate had become a part of MY job. And as a result, it is just a routine now that doesn't trigger any emotional response in me. Not that I am complaining or anything, that is a good thing I think.

But here is what interesting: I receive plenty of supportive messages and emails as well. Not as many as the hateful ones, but still. Again, over the years I think I have gotten more then a thousand of messages and letters with all sort of positive feedback an encouragements. Some are short, other are quite lengthy. Some people just say "I love your work, keep at it!". Others describe their personal experiences and how my work had affected their lives, inspired them or made it easier to get through some hardships in their personal lifes.

And here is the interesting part. Like I said, the hate seldom gets through to me anymore and it is normal considering the sheer amount of it I have received already. But the massages with positive feedback and encouragements ALWAYS (!!!) get to me. No matter how many times I hear it, it is always an emotional experience to me! And I am very grateful that despite all the experiences I went through, seeing my work being appreciate always makes me feel like if I am still only at the begging of my path, like if I'm a little boy again and one of my friends picks up one of my drawings and says: "Hey. This drawing looks cool! Did you drew it!"

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And please don't get me wrong I'm not saying: "Go send me some thank-you notes NOW!". No way, I'm just sharing my thought on the whole matter. And those "thank you" notes should wait till the "PT:GOLD" release anyways :)

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Oh, and by the way, I get messages from the girls as well. Girls are usually way more hesitant to actually sit down and write to me that they actually appreciate my work. And when some of them do, I often reply with: "Support my work by sending me some tits that I could tweet later, please", and it usually becomes the end of it. But still, I have a feeling that the female audience for my work is rather extensive. Although playing my games in secret and openly admitting to enjoy them is two very different things.

And now to the news...

Well I've been doing my first "PT:GOLD" play-through for the past several days. Ideally that should've been an extremely enjoyable experience for me because it's always a big pleasure to see something you worked on for a long time finally coming together... In reality it was quite opposite though. If I were to use one word to describe the experience I would go with "irritating".

Tons of bugs, wrong labels, wrong variable, wrong everything! But I made it through eventually, taking notes and eradicating the bugs on the way. So yeah, first official play-through has been completed successfully. Now I will have to do the same thing again. This time around I will make sure to use different approaches, routes, choices and try to complete quests in different order to make sure the game still works that way and story consistency remains intact and such.

As I do so I will be also working on CG gallery, will be putting in the triggers that unlock the CGs and all that. But the major thing I will be working on is the music and sound effects. As you know I don't go too deep with the sound effects, but still you would be surprised how much work it takes to make sure every scene is supplied with the fitting music and occasional sounds.

Well that would be my plan for the near future. As soon as I finish playing through the game for the second time, adding proper galleries, music boxes and such, and adding the music and sounds into the game - next big step will be sending the game to DAHR and Xaljio for testing. Now THAT would be a really big step towards the release!

Oh, and one more thing that will take a lot of work (not on my part, thankfully) is the proofreading. I already started to send the files to Lyk, but there are quite a few of them, and proofreading them properly will be a time-consuming task no doubt...

Alright, that's about it for now. Thank you for your support.

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*The screenshot is from above is from some forum thread the link to which some kind soul sent to me a while back... Don't worry there were plenty of hateful messages as well, but like I said, I'm having hard time registering those :)

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