Free Your Mind 2/4 (Patreon)

The "FREE YOUR MIND" podcast featured case studies and interviews with other fans. There were hundreds of episodes and she would often have it playing in the background while doing chores or browsing job listings. Now, she was curled up on the couch basking in the positivity flowing from her earbuds. She started dozing off, her head nodding. An earbud popped out and she startled awake. In her other ear, the show was still playing, but it was nothing like the episodes she had heard before! Instead of conversation, there was a weird, vapid mantra. "Thoughts are negative. I love being empty. Not thinking makes me happy and horny."

She was shocked! Skipping forward and back revealed more of the same. Was this a prank? The previous dozen or so episodes were all alike. No interviews, just a short intro, followed by a countdown and two hours of static layered over blabber about empty, horny minds. She had listened to all those episodes! How had she not noticed? Was she being hypnotized? Horrified and betrayed, she unsubscribed and reported the podcast. She sent "FREE YOUR MIND" a furious email. She even tweeted about it.

Two months later, she was miserable. Unemployment sucked. How had she ignored that for so long? She glared at the "FREE YOUR MIND" books, mocking her from the shelf. She felt useless, lonely and depressed. Nobody was responding to her applications. The days consisted of rejection and masturbation. Both just made her feel even worse. Empty boxes of takeout were piling up beside her bed and her savings were running out. Only "FREE YOUR MIND" had replied to her email. They apologized profusely for the "technical error" and had terminated those responsible. They offered her a complimentary gift: an all-inclusive visit to one of their brand new "FREE YOUR MIND" salons. She deleted the message, relishing the chance to be the rejector. It was a decision she would come to regret, a week later, when she got invited to a job interview.

It was a dream position at a prestigious company. The competition was bound to be fierce. She needed to stand out. After a month of living like a slob, a professional makeover was just the ticket. Maybe she had overreacted to the podcast mishap. She glanced at the bookshelf. "FREE YOUR MIND" wasn't all bad. Okay, so their podcast producers were creepy perverts. But they'd been fired, hadn't they? The coupon was still in her trash folder. She booked an appointment for the morning of her interview.