The Life Erin Needs Parts 1, 2, 3, and 4 (Patreon)

"She just can't figure it out. We've tried pull-ups, charts, and I even check on her every few hours. Seriously, yesterday when I went to check her pull-up, she ran away from me and locked herself in her room. I had to threaten to take away all her toys to open the door. She was soaked through…" Erin's Aunt droned on and on through the phone.

"All she has to worry about is not flooding her pull-ups. What a life," Erin thought, absentmindedly picking at her pre-prepared lasagna. It was already 8:30, which meant it was bedtime.

"She'll get better, I guess," Erin said half-heartedly. She didn't want to spend the last moments of her night talking to someone. "Hey, Auntie, it's getting late for me. I'll call you next week," she said, quickly hanging up after exchanging goodbyes. A few minutes later, as she stepped into the shower, Erin couldn't stop thinking about how easy her childhood was compared to now.

She imagined herself and her neighbor Rachel climbing the creaky steps into their secret treehouse, pretending the walls were a magnificent castle where they played as princesses, eagerly awaiting their prince. In that magical hideaway, they shared secrets, dreams, and whispered confessions. "Our first kiss..." she thought, fondly remembering that special night.

Slipping into bed, a tear welled up in her eye, and a single droplet rolled down her cheek. "I wish I could be little like that again," she thought, as if drifting into sleep. Unbeknownst to her, the universe had a surprise in store.

Even before she opened her eyes, a familiar scent of fresh lavender filled the air, signaling something different. It was the exact same fragrance her parents used to infuse their scented candles. "Whoa..." she murmured, sensing the presence of fluffy plush animals around her. Slowly, she blinked her eyes open, revealing the sight of a canopy draped in sheer fabric. "Wait, what!? This is my old room!" Her mind raced with astonishment. Turning her head to the left, she confirmed that everything was exactly as she had left it. The floor had a quilted pattern, babyish blocks and rings were scattered about, and a changing table stood filled with diapers. As she absorbed her surroundings, she became aware of the weightiness between her thighs.

"This doesn't make any sense. I must be dreaming," Erin thought, chuckling to herself in disbelief as she got out of bed. The remnants of her childhood sense of humor brought a playful giddiness to her. A soothing calmness washed over her body, making her feel safe. "I'm wearing a diaper..." she realized, invoking a delightfully childish impulse.

"Why not just... go for it?" It seemed like the obvious thing to do. She found herself surrounded by a sea of diapers and adorable baby toys. A mischievous grin spread across her face as she thought, "Who would even notice?" It was an exciting adventure, embracing intentional childishness. It felt like a secret act of rebellion against growing up. Initially, a tiny bit of grown-up thinking tried to spoil her fun, but she quickly brushed it aside. "Wouldn't it be super weird if they didn't find me wet?" she wondered, finding reasons to go ahead rather than hold back. That thought sealed the deal. She took a deep breath, eagerly spread her legs, and with a determined effort, warm pee playfully dribbled into her cozy diaper.

A sense of silliness washed over her, accompanied by a feeling of doing something wrong. She instinctively gripped her shirt, twisting it up, while her other hand pressed her thumb against her tongue. As the diaper padding absorbed the wetness, transforming into a mushy texture, Erin's gaze fixated on a picture frame displaying her in a carriage at Disney World. In the picture, she was the same size as she is now. "My wish really did come true," she realized, causing the dribbles to intensify into a steady stream.

***

"Blocks!" Erin exclaimed in her mind as she watched the pieces crash and explode across the floor. It brought her immense joy. Feeling weightless, she dropped down on all fours. It was a relaxing experience, allowing her brain muscles to unwind. A sense of effortless happiness flooded her mind. Acting on impulse, her hands chose the most colorful blocks instead of the ones that made the most sense structurally. She stacked them simply because it made her feel good, regardless of their orientation.

She easily became absorbed in her play. At some point, she found herself holding a stuffed unicorn instead of blocks. She made it soar around the crumbling block structure, imagining rainbows and sparks shooting from its hooves as it soared into the sky. The Barbie doll mounted on top represented her in her imagination. The nursery around her transformed into a world of fluffy clouds and sunshine.

Erin's mind delved deep into the realm of play, not wanting to leave. When a signal from her bladder reminded her of the need to relieve herself, she quickly processed it. Widening her legs, she purposefully let go, knowing she didn't have to worry about bathroom breaks. The part of her brain responsible for methodical decisions ceased its activity, and her mind wandered aimlessly, flowing with the currents of fun.

After years of carrying the weight of adult responsibilities, this break was exactly what Erin needed. This wasn't just a temporary escape into an endless, fuzzy childhood bliss. In this house, she didn't have to think and act like an adult. And it was easy not to. Erin stopped contemplating the next task and focused solely on the joy in front of her.

She lost track of time and her surroundings. Days started blurring together. One moment she’s being spoon fed cheerios for breakfast, then crawling around in the dirt and grass, getting a diaper change, dozing off to the movie "Frozen," and abruptly waking up from an afternoon nap. There was a loose structure to her day, but she didn't concern herself with the past or the future.

Initially, her body signaled when she needed to use the bathroom, but that process quickly became automatic. If she felt any bodily pressure, she didn't hold back. It didn't matter if she was in an awkward position or if her diaper was already full. Her mother never got upset about leaks because it was expected. So she paid no attention to it.

However, she did enjoy the attention she received from her mother whenever she came by to check on her. Sometimes her mother would play with her, and those moments were rare but precious. Realizing that using her diaper garnered attention sparked an idea in Erin's mischievous mind.

"Mommy!" she called out from the floor. "Bottle!" she yelled, her smile revealing a hint of mischievousness.

***

"Hehe, it works!" Erin pondered, her tiny tooshie pointing up as her Mom changed her soiled diaper. This was the fifth time today that her diaper had needed a change. "Mama thinks I'm just a wittle baby, but I'm a smart big kid," she mused, brimming with pride at her cunning plan to fool her mama. Following the routine, Erin hoisted herself up, relishing the comfort of the new diaper positioned beneath her. Cool powder wafted over her, bringing with it the pleasant smell of clean linen. The front of the diaper was tugged up between her thighs and fastened in place. Erin couldn't help but squeal with laughter as her Mother blew raspberries on her tummy, tickling her.

"Gaga! Play! Play, Mama!" she slurred, her small hands eagerly reaching out. This was her absolute favorite part. Her Mama lifted her from the changing mat and gently set her down on the plush carpet. Pulling out a set of Lincoln Logs, they commenced building a log cabin together. Erin didn't take the task very seriously, letting her hands clumsily and playfully assemble the logs in no particular order or even design something entirely unique.

Playing with her Mother made Erin feel overjoyed, just like a little baby. Deceiving her Mother with diaper changes to coax her into playtime was even more successful than she had predicted. Not only did she get to enjoy playing with her Mother, but occasionally, if her Mom was occupied, she would allow Erin to play on an iPad. The games were simple and vibrant, usually involving tapping on animated fish or bugs. But Erin loved immersing herself in the digital world, pressing the buttons and listening to the cheerful noises.

Erin was never in a dry diaper for long; within an hour of a fresh change, she could already sense the heaviness between her legs. However, she didn't dwell on it much. Just like how one's feet always fit snugly in shoes, the warm and squishy sensation between her thighs had become a routine part of her daily life. She hardly gave it a second thought. That all changed one day, almost a year since she had begun spending her time in the nursery.

"Erin, we're going to try these today, okay? I think you can be a big kid for Mama and do your very best," her mother said, holding up a pack of pull-ups. Erin's heart dropped.

"Mama really wants me potty trained?" she wondered, an unsettling fear rising in her chest. "But I can already do that," she protested, conflicted between wanting to demonstrate her capabilities to her mother and the comfort of simply letting go. Sitting with her legs crossed, she looked down at her diaper. The front was puffy and squished against the floor, a pale yellow hue. Looking over her shoulder, she saw the yellow stain had spread nearly to the waistband of her diaper. She made a face, struggling to remember when she had made that diaper dirty. "Or any diaper," she realised.

***

Erin struggled, wiggling in the corner, attempting to hide her discomfort. She hadn't noticed her need to pee until her movements gradually slowed and her legs started jiggling oddly. By then, it was too late – she was already wetting herself. She attempted to hold it in, but the flow persisted for a moment before halting, leaving her in utter discomfort.

Her mother's harsh voice came from the other room, just as it always did when an accident happened. Popping her head into Erin's room, she asked suspiciously, "Are you doing what I think you're doing?"

"No!" Erin answered, dread swelling within her as she knew she was lying. Regardless of her protest, her mother would check. Defeated and feeling incredibly small, Erin gave up trying to hold it in, relaxing her muscles. She could already feel the wetness of her pull-up.

In disbelief, her mother exclaimed, "Erin! Are you really peeing now? Come on, let's go to the bathroom!" She grabbed Erin's hand, attempting to pull her towards the bathroom, but Erin wouldn't move.

"I'm already done…" Erin muttered, unable to tear her gaze from the wet spot on the carpet.

Her mother sternly warned that this would be another mark against Erin's progress. "It's been two straight weeks, Erin. Are you even trying?" she questioned, her voice growing progressively more irritated.

"I am!" Erin retorted, stomping her foot in defiance. Her mother tried to lead her to the living room for a diaper change, and Erin, dejected, followed. As her mother helped her out of her wet clothes, Erin felt the continual reminders of her loss of control. Initially, she had thought she could manage without accidents. But over time, this belief eroded, now leaving her feeling like a baby.

"I just want diapers again!" Erin declared, feeling beaten.

Her mother responded, insisting Erin needed to make an effort and reminding her she was growing too old for diapers. The implication stung Erin deeply – she never fully accepted the idea. Despite her objections, her mother encouraged her to try harder and assured her she could do it.

Once changed and alone again, Erin dove straight into her iPad to distract herself from her feelings of frustration and sadness. She let herself become absorbed in the world on screen, a state of near-mindlessness that pushed all thoughts aside. After about half an hour, when she began to re-engage with reality, she immediately felt uneasy. As she squeezed her thighs together, she realized she was wet again. In her anger, she picked up a toy and threw it to the ground, yelling out her frustration.

Upon hearing the noise, her mother called out. Panicked, Erin ran towards her room, hoping to avoid another confrontation about her wet pull-up. She locked herself inside just as her mother reached her door, demanding she open it.

Erin jumped into her bed and repeated to herself, "I want to be big. I want to be big… I wish I was big." But nothing changed. She could still hear her mother's angry demands from outside her door. The realization of her situation sank in – she was trapped. The complex emotions she was facing were unfamiliar to her. She was accustomed to carefree days spent playing, without the worry of bladder control. But now, she yearned for that carefree life again.

Frustrated, Erin channeled the welting defiance into the same sensation growing in-between her butt, "I'M NOT POTTY TRAINING ANYMORE!" She pushed, feeling a hot wet wave dump into her diaper. Streaks of pee cascaded down her pants.

Despite the loud protests from her mother still echoing from outside her room, Erin plopped on the floor and turned her attention to her toys. She knew she would face punishment later, but for her, the freedom from potty training was worth the price. After weeks of struggle, Erin finally returned to the lifestyle she had always preferred, one free from the pressures of potty training.