Regression Chapter 4: I Just- I Just- Dream (Featuring Long_Rifle) (Patreon)

Madison walked above the city lights. She looked melancholy down at the bright blurs squiggling through the streets. The Milky Way spun above the skyline.

*Sigh*

She sat down on an invisible bench. She dropped her chin into her hands.

“Dreaming…” She muttered. When it was moments like this, she knew it was all a dream, but it was still easy to get lost in the world.

Soft mist played against her skin and gently moved her hair as Madison walked through it. She thought for just an instant about where she was, but almost as quickly it was gone and she was back in the moment. “At least it’s nice and cool.” she thought. Smiling while running her fingers through it. Eddy currents spun away from them while she walked forward through the fog. Madison was smiling and laughing, wondering why she wasn’t getting wet when a final step took her out of the mist, and into open sky.

She stared out and down at the lights of the town far below her and nodded, “A dream. Of course it’s a dream.” She could feel her pulse rising, and the rush of adrenaline that meant she was about to wake herself up. She focused into the distance and tried to relax everything. Madison hadn’t had a lucid dream for a long time, but she still remembered everything. And as she relaxed the adrenaline dump faded and the threat of waking up went with it. “Screw it, time to relax and work on my little problem where I have complete control.

It felt like an old memory as she walked down the street, people came and went, conversations seemed important but always hushed. She smiled as she remembered that detail from the past. “It’s just background being built by my subconscious. Nothing I need to be concerned about.” The smile faded when something odd caught her attention. It was a baby stroller, but it looked huge. “Okay. I’m not dealing with it like that.” she thought as she moved towards it.

When she got close enough to notice it was occupied she stopped and wondered who was in it. “Dream Madison. It doesn’t matter who or what is in it.” she decided. Then as if she had moved instantly, she was standing next to it. Staring down into the face of one of her best friends. She blinked and bit her lips as she tried to remember the woman’s name, “Who the hell are you?” But some part of the dream didn’t want her to know. Or that part of the brain was shut off while she was asleep. “Fuck it.” she said. “Time for therapy l guess.” she looked at the large mentally regressed woman and set her hands on her shoulders. “You’re not a baby, you’re an adult and you need to act like it.”

For a moment there seemed to be a spark of knowledge in the woman’s eyes. Her face changed and took on a concerned look. Then it shifted to fear, until a sudden rushing noise from the diaper she was wearing pulled her back into baby land. Madison stepped back, alarmed at the instant change. “No. I’m the boss here.” she said forcefully. She stepped back to the large baby and grabbed it by the shoulders again. “You will be an adult. That’s reality. That’s real. Just because you have an accidents doesn’t mean you’re a baby! You need to snap out of this! Stop letting it affect you.” A moment of lucid thought reminded her she was basically talking to herself. “Yeah yeah, I know. I just need to follow my own advice.” Madison whispered under her breath.

As if it had been waiting for that breakthrough the dream changed. She was still standing in front of the stroller. And there was still someone in it. But now they were inside somewhere. The air felt slightly cooler, and there was an earthy smell in the air. Madison looked around, her eyes seemed to slide off the walls and back onto the floor. As if her mind hadn’t yet decided what to put there yet. It looked wrong, but she knew that it was a simple fix. “Let’s just sort that part out then.” There was a warm flash and she found herself inside her own bedroom. She allowed herself to smile, “Well at least I’m getting my control back.” She turned back to the stroller and felt a slight shock when she saw it was completely empty. “Okay. Does this mean I don’t need to worry about it?”

Madison stepped closer to the stroller there was soft smell of perfume coming from it, “At least it doesn’t stink.” she thought as she leaned inside, slowly stroking the padding the see if it was warm or cold. There was a sudden flash, a moment of falling and she found herself blinking and shaking her head while flat on her ass. When she finally managed a clear look around her she gasped to see she was sitting in the stroller now. “Fuck that!” she said. And moved to stand up. Only to find she was securely strapped in. “Okay, this has to go right now...” she fumbled with the button that held the straps tight. Her fingers felt clumsy and numb. For an instant she felt the sensation of waking up and relaxed, “I’m not leaving until the baby shit is over.” she said with a yell. That gave her enough concentration to push the button and release herself. She sprang forward onto her feet and felt something off between her legs.

Her hand snaked down below her waist and discovered the thick padding of a large diaper, the crinkle told her it was disposable. “Okay. Nope.” she concentrated. “Maybe something lacy...” she thought. There was warmth between her legs and then nothing. She frowned when she still felt the mass there.

“I know that look, does Maddi Waddi need her diapies changed?” Madi stopped fidgeting and closed her eyes. “It sounds like Mom. But it isn’t. It’s just my imagination. SHE’S NOT THERE!”

“Well let me take a look at it sugar. You know you don’t want to sit on it any longer then you have to.” her mother said.

“Not going to happen lady.” she shouted back and stepped away. Humiliated by the waddle she was forced into. “Panties! I wear panties! Lacy sexy ones mom, I don’t need you checking anything.” She concentrated on the image in her head. Sure, that as she did she could feel the bulge between her legs fade away. She smiled and stuck her tongue out at the image of her mother and with a quick pull she had her pants down. Then with a snide thought they were gone. “See mom? All clean and dry like a big girl!” she said mockingly.

To her shock her mother bent down and stared, “Good girl, you know you’re dry! Let mommy know when you’re wet!”

Madison was ready to scream she set her hand down on her panties to stick a finger under the band and snap it when she felt plastic instead of the silk she was expecting. “The hell is...” Her head snapped down and took in the diaper she was wearing. The only off thing about it was the lacy pattern covering it. “Panties! Not diapers!” she screamed.

“Those are cute, but I thought you liked the Pony ones?” her mother said with a soft lilt to her voice. Like she didn’t really mean it, and didn’t expect Madison to catch on.

“Eat shit mom! I don’t need diapers!” In a flash she had it ripped off and rolled up tight. She didn’t remember doing that but figured it was an aspect of her dream and went with it. “You can just put all your feelings about diapers along with this one in the garbage!” she tossed it towards a corner. Imaging a garbage bin for it to land in. But what appeared was an oversized diaper pail. “No!” she yelled.

“I’ll get that with the rest of your diapers when it’s full Madi.” her mother said as she walked out the door.

Madison felt incensed at the mention of her old childish name. “No! This is done! This is all done!” she pointed her mother and imaged her stopping, when she did Madison smiled, knowing she still had control. “Alright. I’m obviously hung up on the accidents and diapers. You’re obviously here to point something out that my subconscious wants me to know.”

“I’m here to help my baby, that’s just a mommy loving her special little girl.” the figure said without turning around.

“I’m literally arguing with myself.” Madison said with a groan. She sat down on her bed and was surprised at how soft it was, for an instant she felt everything start to fade, before popping up and forcing the dream to continue, she looked up at her dream mother and almost giggled. “This is some serious solipsism you know. I’m not a baby, I know that. I don’t need the added stress of pissing everywhere you know.”

She looked up at her ceiling and saw her fan was gone. A large mobile spun in its place. She was about to wish it away when she had an epiphany. “That’s it isn’t it? By constantly fighting it I’m just pushing myself further in.” She felt lightheaded. “Is it that easy?” She looked down at the form of her mom and thought she looked bigger. “Is that it? What do you think?”

The specter of her mother giggled. “Maybe. You’ve been so stressed. My baby needs to learn to accept things. To relaaxxxx.”

As Madison watched she grew taller. Then she noticed everything around her grew taller. Until it clicked that she was growing smaller. “Really? So I learn to let me relax and understand what’s going on and I don’t need a shrink to do it for me?”

She walked closer to her mother, and caught her reflection in a mirror her real room didn’t have. “Naked?” she said. But she was relieved to see she at least still had her adult features.

“Nakie baby Madi.” her mother said warmly. “We need to get you in your special night pants and you need to relax and let me take care of you.”

Madison looked at the floor and sighed. She tried to remember even taking a breath to make the sound, but couldn’t, she knew the part of the brain that controlled and detected irrational things didn’t operate during dreams. But it was still jarring.

“More jarring then having your mother wrap you in a diaper Madi Wadi?” It sounded like the old woman meant to mock her.

Madison smiled wickedly, “More jarring then kicking your-“ in a blur everything changed again. She wasn’t standing, she was on her back and her mother was standing in front of her, lifting a thick diaper between her legs. “Not like this!” she yelled. But her mother smiled down and brought it up anyways. Madison squirmed and fought but the diaper was in place and secured without issue. “Take it off! Take it off!” she yelled.

“What happened to letting go? To relaxing that control you’ve had so long, I think I know a little baby that needs this so much.” she ran her fingers under the leg bands to straighten the leak guards as she spoke. “I think you look cute like this, and that means you think you look cute like this.” she picked up the tiny adult figure and lay her down in the crook of one of her arms like a real infant.  “And that means you really do want what I’m about to give you.”

Madison’s eyes bulged as the breast popped free. And single bead of off white liquid dripped from it. “No! Wake up! I don’t want this!” The dream started to fade and the familiar feeling of vertigo started up. Then the light in the room flickered and everything snapped back into focus. Madison looked out across the room that had morphed completely into an infant’s nursery. “I’m done! I’m waking up!” She yelled as she struggled against the strong arms and worse, against the urge to see if she could taste in her dreams, “Wake up!”

The nipple was coming closer as she struggled. She took a breath to scream and it was between her lips. Madison did the only thing left, she bit down as hard as she could. The metallic taste of blood filled her mouth and she felt herself falling. She thrust her hands and legs out before hitting the floor, when she finally opened her eyes it was still feet away. “I’m floating...” she said weakly. She could still feel the fear of losing control and was no longer concerned about learning anything in her dream, she just wanted out. With a blink and twitch she seemed to be back on her feet. Followed immediately by the rumble of thunder, then a very familiar voice coming from all around her.

“Is that how you treat others? Baby should know not to bite, unless she’s too young...” It didn’t sound like her mother anymore. It was her voice, and it sounded angry. “You want to piss and shit yourself young lady, well let mommy help you.”

Madison shook her head and looked around her. The room had faded and she was back outside, she prepared to run but the bulge between her legs was back. The first step was a shock as her feet tangled and she almost fell over. “This is wrong.” she said. “This is a dream and I’m done with it. Wake up Madison! I’m telling you, wake up!” But unlike before whatever control she had seemed to have left her. And now she was stuck until her body naturally woke up. “Shit!”

“Does little Madi need to make a poopy?” It still sounded like it was coming from everywhere, but now it somehow seemed like it was closer. “That’s what your Pampers are for. Then mommy can change you when you’re done.” The anger was gone. But it was still her voice. Still her unconscious telling her what she should do.

She reached for the tapes on the diaper and pulled. But instead of coming loose the diaper thickened and pushed her legs farther apart. “I’m not wearing these! Take them off!” she stomped her foot then realized what that made her look like. Madison felt shame and humiliation at what she had been reduced to doing. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, when she opened them she was standing back on the street from the start of her dream, but now there were people everywhere, and they were all looking at her. She had an instant to understand she was back to normal size, then she remembered she was naked in front of dozens of strangers in a huge diaper. Her arms should over her body to cover herself and the huge diaper she was wearing.

“None of you exist!” she screamed as low murmurs filled her ears. Their pitch increased quickly turning into jeers and laughing. “This is bullshit! It’s a dream and none of this matters!” She let her arms drop to her sides and stood up as straight as she could. “Who cares if you see me like this, any second I’m going to wake up and you all cease to exist. I’m not a diaper baby, I’m a big girl.”

A member of the crowd stepped forward, an extremely tall woman that towered over everyone, “Not a diaper baby? You’re a big girl? Do you really think that’s how an adult would respond?” she said it with a smile, like she didn’t even expect a response. “Maybe you should just relax and enjoy yourself and forget about all the stress of making it to the potty.”

“I don’t need your help, I don’t need any of this. I just want to get up and forget I ever had this stupid dream.” Madison felt most of the tension leaving her body as she said it. As if that was the real lesson she was supposed to learn. Then a strange warmth between her legs pulled her attention down to the diaper she was wearing. As she stared it discolored and started to sag. “I’m not...”

The woman spoke again, this time she sounded exactly like her mother. “You’re not making a pee pee like a baby? Can’t you tell, I thought you were a big girl.” It was back to the slick mocking she had heard before.

Madison turned to run again, away from her mother and the laughing crowd, the wet diaper suddenly bulged as she took a step and she tumbled to the ground. Pain blossomed from her head as it violently smacked against it. Her mouth opened to scream, instead the wail of an infant emerged. Madison tried to stop, but whatever control she had was gone. She rolled over on her back and wailed until her hands found something and pulled it onto her mouth. She looked down and saw her foot in her hands, and her toes between her teeth. A shadow over her pulled her away from the strange image and into the smiling face of her mother.

“Looks like the poo poo monster is back! And even better it looks like my special little girl is as well.” she picked up the squirming woman and shushed her. “Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to get used to your diapers.” She tickled Madison and she chortled loudly like a real baby. “You even sound happier already. Let’s get that icky diaper off and I can finally let you have a little milk.”

Madison’s absolute last line of defense was to close her eyes.

“Not real…” She whispered to herself. She didn’t feel like anything changed. When she opened her eyes, she was standing in the checkout line at her local grocery store. Clad in only a diaper, she felt cramps in her bowels spike.

“Oh.. no. Stop it. Why do I have to go this bad?” Madison murmured to herself. She pressed her right hand into the back of her diaper. She desperately tried to hold back the powerful pressure in her bowels. She did the same up into her crotch. Her bladder felt like a glass about to overflow. This was her absolute last line of defense.

“Hmf… Mrm…” She whimpered. Her feeble attempts at controlling her body only stymied the inevitable. She squirmed, feeling poop push involuntarily into her diaper. Hot pee spilled out of her.

“Noo…..” She said, looking down. Her diaper was saggy and discolored. It didn’t look like her first accident in that diaper. The squishy mess piled on in the back. A loud fart popped, it caught the attention of the lady in front of Madison.

“What?” The woman said in shock. She turned around, then looked Madison up and down.

“Eww… gross. Did you just poop yourself? Are you pooping yourself right now? The bathrooms are RIGHT THERE!” The lady pointed. Madison looked in the direction she was pointing. It was just a blank wall behind the cash registers. She frantically scanned around for a sign but couldn’t find anything.

“Where!? I can’t find it!??” She yelled, looking back. The lady had a much softer look on her face. It brought a sense of calm to Madison.

“Aw, you don’t know where the potty is? That’s okay. I didn’t know you were dumb.” She spoke. Madison beamed.

“Eee..” She smiled, feeling suddenly happier. An adult told her that it was okay. She stopped trying to hold back, her body released fully. Warmth splattered freely into her diaper. It felt normal. She remembered doing this in the store last time she was here. She closed her eyes, relishing in the feeling. This was right.

When she opened her eyes she saw her reflection in the bedroom mirror. She wasn’t wearing anything except a dry disposable diaper. She popped her butt out to get a better angle of it.

“Mmm… It’s really thick.” She said she tried some additional poses, then looked down at her corduroy pants. “Everyone is going to know I have my diaper on.” She thought, then looked back into the mirror. She had the pants on. The pants were tight. They curved around every angle of the diaper. It was extremely obvious what she was wearing.

She looked away to catch the time.

“SHIT I’M LATE FOR WORK!” She realized; it was twenty minutes past when she usually got in. She felt intense anxiety light up her brain. She rushed to her bedroom door and opened it. She walked out of the bathroom doorway to her job and into the sea of cubicles. She had the corduroy pants on. It felt like everyone knew she had a diaper on. Her dress jacked melted into a white T-Shirt that said “Pampers” in light blue loopy text.

She couldn’t look any of her coworkers in the eye. She could see their disgusted looks in her peripheral vision. They cupped their mouths and whispered gossip to one another as she passed.

“She’s wearing a diaper.” One spoke.

“Hasn’t she always worn diapers?”

“I bet she poops herself too.”

“She always smells like piss.”

“She must have forgotten to put one on that day.” Lilly said.

“SHUT UP!” Madison said, spinning around suddenly to confront her. Except, it wasn’t Lilly when she turned around. It was her boss, Tim.

“I wasn’t expecting you to come in today. You know, after what happened yesterday?” He said, then pointed at Madison’s groin. She looked down. Leak stains streaked down her pants. Her diaper bulge was three times thicker. It was nearly comical. The hyper-bulge extended to her kneecaps. She felt the same despair from the accident surface.

“I-I… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to have an accident.” She pleaded, her face flushed deep red. She looked back up.

“What do you mean? You have accidents all the time! That’s why you just peed yourself.” Madison’s mother, Melinda, said. They weren’t in the office. They were in the middle of her childhood home’s living room. She wasn’t wearing anything except a slightly used diaper.

“Really, Mommy?” Madison said she hopped in excitement. Her mother’s opinion trumped any thought process. She felt giddy happiness connect in her body. It relaxed her and made the situation way less serious. She clinged her entire existence onto each word.

“Of course!! When we start potty training that’s when you can worry about holding it. But that’s not for a very, very long time.” Melinda said, she patted the front of her daughter’s exposed diaper. “Pee yourself as much as you want, Madison. You’re not potty trained.”

Something in Madison’s mind clicked. She instinctively peed herself with zero resistance. It didn’t matter to her. She had never been potty trained before. She didn’t know anything else. She stopped paying attention to it because it felt so normal.

“I pee pee as much I want, Mommy!” Madison said happily to reflect her mother’s sentiment. Her mother looked delighted. She nodded profusely.

Madison felt a devious idea excite her. She squatted, then pushed. She didn’t know why, but if she did this, then usually a lot of pee came out. Her stream erupted into an absolute flood. She didn’t let up. Her body had an infinite amount of pee to gush. The harder she pushed; the more pee smashed into the padding. Quickly the diaper sagged and discolored. It could only absorb so much at a time. Madison giggled, feeling her pee splash into a growing pool. It splattered and tickled her. It started to spill out the sides. It only made her push harder. She exceeded physical human barriers.  Her flow reached the same intensity as a spewing fire hydrant. The force snapped the tapes of the diaper. It fell to the soaked ground. Buckets of pee splashed onto the diaper/floor.

“Ehehe.. Heheh pee peee!!!” She giggled excitedly, her legs kicked to swim in the pool of pee that filled the room.

“This is why you need diapers!” Dr. Elion said behind Madison.

“Huh?” Madison said, she was sitting on the carpet of her Kindergarten classroom. Dr. Elion pointed down at her crotch. She had an obvious wet accident stain in her light blue sweatpants.

“Oh snap, I had an accident.” Madison said, zero part of her recalled it. The inertia from the moment before made it all make sense though. Of course, she’s going to have an accident when she acted like that.

She felt the dark pee stain between her legs, and the puddle of pee on the carpet beneath her. It didn’t phase her. Dr. Elion bent down to get closer to Madison. She was dressed in the same bug pattern dress her kindergarten teacher often wore.

“You’re not ready for the potty yet, dear. Don’t worry! Remember our talk last week? We’re not going to get upset if you aren't ready. Lots of kids your age need diapers.” Ms. Elion said. Madison looked across the room. All her friends and family members played childlike games. Clad in droopy diapers. She looked back up at Ms. Elion.

“I don’ need da p-p-p-potty mws ewon?” She said it had taken years of therapy to work out her stutter. She easily slotted back into it.

“Absolutely not! Kids who can’t spell don’t use the potty.” Ms. Elion said.

“I g-g-go-go-good at s-spelwing!” Madison exclaimed, she started going to work on the personal chalkboard she had in front of her. At first, she tried drawing a simple letter “O.” She couldn’t quite time the curvature right. It ended up being a long squiggly line, with a sharp turn at the end. Determined, Madison tried again. This time on the number “1.” She didn’t make it halfway down the line before her mind started to wander. Her hands moved whimsically into drawing scribbles. It reflected the mushy thoughts in her mind. She couldn’t form rational thought. The muscles in her face relaxed. Her lips drooped. Drool spilled out of her mouth, then dripped onto the board. The drops would get caught in her chalk. It mixed into a wet chalky mess.

“Baum mum mwom.” She babbled, popping up and down in her squelching diaper. She felt the sudden urge to poop, then immediately messed her diaper. She stopped thinking about it before she even finished. She just liked feeling her butt get warmer and mushier with each bounce. Intense pleasure cascaded out of her, blitzing her mind into incoherent sensations.

“okay yeah that’s enough.” Maddison thought. She pushed herself out of that world. She moved through a void while her thoughts simply consumed her. She pushed her brain to change the scene around her.

“I’m not, that. I don’t do that.” She said to herself as she opened the glass front door. She click clacked into the ice cream bar. The floor was small white and black hexagonal linoleum. A perfect ice cream Sundae sat on the wooden bar. Madison found her seat on the bar stool. She could tell she wasn’t wearing a diaper from the added sensation around her butt.

Madison placed her forehead into one hand and grabbed the small silver spoon with the other. She dunked the metal into her ice cream. The delicious taste of sweet cold cream rolled down her tongue. It made her feel a little better.

“I just need to keep eating this ice cream and I’ll feel better.” She thought, taking another bite. Her emotions felt too heavy. A knee jerk reaction made her need something else to take care of them. She munched on a bite. Her thumb pressed in between her lips. Her eyes fluttered. Blissful relaxation blanketed her emotions. She could feel ice cream digging underneath her nail. Ice cream spilled out between sucks.

“Ugh NO!” Madison exclaimed, popping her thumb out. She looked down at her hands. They were covered in sticky ice cream mess. She couldn’t find the spoon anywhere.

“Oh yeah that’s right.” She realized, suddenly grabbing a fist full of ice cream. Her hands chilled from the cold touch. She shoved a large melty piece into her face. It splattered across her cheeks, chin, and forehead.

Madison looked at her reflection in a mirror from across the bar. She had on a pointy cone hat. She smiled at how cute she looked.

“Mama I n-na-need a napkin!” She said, laughing at herself. She wiggled in the silly thoughts that rushed into her brain. Her mind caught itself slipping again. She pushed hard out of the shop.

“STOP.” She said finally. She closed her eyes. It birthed a whirl of green and bright light. The sun’s rays beamed through the leaves. She drew in a deep calming breath. The smell of moist pine filled her lungs.

“Ahh.” She sighed in relief. Her muscles relaxed. She felt the stress from before dissolve into warm happiness.

“I’m okay. There’s no need to over-react about all of this.” She reasoned. Her feet crunched on loose twigs and leaves. She placed a probing hand between her legs to check if she was wearing a diaper. To her relief, it was just jeans.

“I’m going to walk along this path until I wake up. I’m not doing baby stuff anymore. I’m a grown woman with a bladder issue, not a baby. Its- It’s not even a bladder issue. I am starting to work on it. I can hold it. I don’t have that many accidents. I can hold it.” She said to herself. Hyper-focusing on it always made it worse. The familiar painful feeling in her pelvic floor muscles surfaced. She grimaced.

“I can hold it. I’m a big girl. I can hold it” She said, her voice wavering with uncertainty. Her pace slowed down, she placed two hands between her legs. It was getting too painful to walk. Her muscles sent urgent signals to her brain. Her bladder filled to max capacity in a split second. To send relief, she crossed her legs together.

“I can hold it. I can hold it. I can HOLD IT. I CAN HOLD ITTT. I CAN HOLLLDD ITTT!!!” She screamed but felt her muscles had already given out. She felt herself tear up like she normally did at this point. The defeat was overwhelming. Pee dribbled out unprotected into her pants.

“Nooo!!! I can HOLD ITTTT!!! EHHH!!! EHHHHH!!! AEHHAAHHHH!!” She wailed, hot tears spewed out of her. She tightened her legs as tight as she could. Sometimes that helped. It didn’t this time.

“AHEAH En nah… nahhh… stop… stop pee pee… stop… ah…ahe…ahehee…. Stop it aheheh… I can’ stop it. I don’t ever stop it Hehehe, I don’t stop it. I don’t stop going pee beee..” She said, her facial tensions melted. It felt good to stop caring. The warmth from her diaper crept into her brain. She felt giddy silliness take over her mind.

“Don’ shtop, Don’ um poddy.” She felt obliterated drunk. Her vision looked swirly. It splashed yellow. Warm splotches of yellow painted over the trees. It was a soft pastel background. It smelled soothing. Like poofy baby powder. Her whole body felt warm. Every muscle was too heavy to move. Not even her neck. All she could see was stare up at her childhood nursery mirror. She could do nothing to change her field of view.

“Dan-nan.” She babbled, her mother’s face suddenly came into view. She looked happily down at her. She had the ultimate motherly aroma. She smelled sweet and warm. Her smile was genuine and loving. Madison could only gurgle spit to say ‘hello.’

“Is my widdle baby ready for her dry diaper?” She said, her hands moved to the lower half of Madison’s body. She couldn’t respond. She just drooled while her lips wiggled meaninglessly.

“I just born.” She thought, not through words, but because she couldn’t remember another moment in her life.

Her existence drifted.

“MAADISOONNNN!!!” She heard her voice scream distantly in the back of her head. She tried to blink, but could only bring her eyelids down halfway. She pushed harder on a second try, slowly her eyelids came down. The world started going dark. She could see a soft light in the center of the darkness. It had a human-like shape. The light around her dimmed. It was Madison.

“Madison it’s me, you. Well, really you. The adult you.” Madison said.

“Come on, I can get you out of here” She said matter-of-factly, extending a hand. It didn’t sound like she anticipated the other option.

Maidson looked at the hand. Her vision was still a little blurry. Her brain still lagged. It didn’t matter being an adult. She wasn’t an adult. She was a baby, and that was fun. She felt warm. Her head was happy. Being an adult sucked.

“Mmm No. Me stay!” Madison said, stomping her foot on the ground. She wanted to prove it to herself. She crouched down and pushed. It was routine now. Her diaper warmed. She scrunched her face, focusing pressure onto her bowels. She felt her jelly-like sphincter open, then felt mess grind out of her. She pushed even after the initial wave, getting another 5% out.

“Ugh no, stop! What the fuck are you doing? You’re not a fucking baby. Knock yourself out of it!!!” Madison said, she walked up to her drooling counterpart and kicked her over.

“Ooof! HEY!” She screamed, tumbling to the ground. She saw red. She pushed herself up off the ground and ran over to her adult self.

“Madison, no! I’m-” She said, bracing herself. With a calculated punch, she punched her adult-self squarely in the chin. Her face knocked to the side, her lips fluttered from the force, spit launched out of her. The momentum toppled her over. She collapsed onto the ground.

“Ow FUCK, Madison s-stop! You-re hurting me!” She yelled, but her babyish-side didn’t let up. She beat the ever-living shit out of herself. Fists, open hands, nails digging in for deep scratches.

“Mad- S-... s..” She said, her eyes closed from successive blows.

“No it’s MY TURN!” She said in a childish accent. She stood up, turned her butt toward herself on the floor, then fell down. Her diapered butt smashed into her face. She gyrated her hips to rub in the smelly padding. Her adult self’s head moved lifelessly side to side.

Madison started to giggle. Her childish emotions bursted even hotter. They felt released. Liquid spewed out of her front and back. Her diaper leaked. She started forgetting what it was like to be anyway else. Her soul slotted into her babyish existence. Everything felt funny. She didn’t hold back from a burst of giggles. Eyes drooping as she made inhaling donkey-like noises. The gyrating became more uniform. Instead of side to side she rubbed back and forth.

She was rewarded with irresponsible dirty pleasure. Her mind focused entirely on it. The stronger she rubbed, the more her world melted back to the nursery. She felt the soft carpet rubbing back forth on her kneecaps. She slammed her pelvic into her adult face even harder.

“Hungg Hhhhungggg” It was air moving aimlessly out of her lungs. The pleasure was moments away from its maximum. The shear power melted the walls down. It was dark.

Madison’s soaked hands pushed through the cramps. The darkness was cut by a faint blue light. It was the light off her phone. Madison wasn’t dreaming anymore; she was in her bed.

“Hungg…. GUNNNNN!!” She screamed, her brain still felt the same. Mentally she wasn’t born. It allowed complete un-restricted euphoria to burst out of her.

Madison climaxed in life.

“AHH!!!” She screamed, bucking back into her bed. She saw the universe spin around. The big bang. She couldn’t make sense of it. Her brain was undeveloped mush. It was the greatest sexual pleasure she would ever experience.

She drifted like a life raft in the ocean. She panted deep breaths. Her chest inflating and deflating into the next cycle. All involuntary. She skidded along the baby high.

“... … uh…” Were the first thoughts that could squeak out of her. She started feeling cold and wet. The sensation came from all over her body, but mostly her crotch. It brought her back like a cold knife.

“Wait did I..?” She said, sitting up suddenly. She knew before even flinging off the blankets. She didn’t need to turn on the lights. Her bed was absolutely soaked.

This wasn’t mild, it was a major accident. The pee pool extended to the edges. She pressed her hand onto another side of the bed. Pee squished out of the saturated mattress. It felt colder and wetter than the one she was on. She must have been rolling around in it all night.

“I.. peed the bed….” She thought. That wouldn’t have been a crazy thought to her moments ago. In fact, that registered as normal at first. She wished it could have lasted longer. But then reality slapped her in the face. She didn’t hold back the tears.

“I just fucking wet my bed so bad…. And I just came to…” She whispered, unable to finish the sentence.

She curled her legs into her arms and cried.