Living With This Chapter 3 (Patreon)

“It can be scary sometimes.” Maggie said, she shifted the weight off her back and folded her legs together. “When you’re single, at least for me, your mind has a million questions about your diaper fetish. Will that next person except me? Are they going to be a part of it? Will they hurt me as the last person did? All these thoughts I didn’t have the answer to.” She said, Lisa, nodded.

“Breakups are hard. It’s a time of anguish for most people. Especially because you’re forced to emotionally support yourself in a completely new way.” Lisa said across the room, sitting in her chair. Her notebook was out, but she wasn’t taking many notes this session.

“They are. I put everything into my partner. The little inside of me comes with that. If they can’t understand it, the relationship will not work out. It’s too much of myself.” Maggie said, her voice grew staggered. She looked away from Lisa for a moment to collect herself.

“I’m sorry, this isn’t something I can push down. I tried that when I was a teenager and into my early 20s. I don’t want to go back to that. When I met Amy, my fetish was the first thing on my mind when we started getting serious.” Maggie said.

“How did you two meet?” Lisa asked.

“You know it wasn’t what you’d expect. We met at a leadership conference our senior year in high school. I remember she walked in late to our group. It felt like something out of a rom-com. Everyone else faded into the background. She was stunning. She had long hair at that point. Long and dark red. Her face was soft white with freckles. Her brown eyes, and just the right amount of mascara. I felt this pull toward her. I genuinely thought she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I struck up a conversation with her, and by the end of the conference two days later, I’d already gotten her number and we were texting back and forth. And then…. Nothing.” Maggie said, her lips pulling into a shallow smile.

“Nothing? You two didn’t talk after that?” Lisa asked with a chuckle. Maggie nodded.

“Yep, nothing. Until eight months later. She texted me out of the blue. She had a question about the weather because she knew I was studying Meteorology. From there we maintained a connection for the next three months. By the end of it, the summer was starting to roll around, and I think we were both looking for new friends. We met up for a hike one day, I figured out she was gay too, and we never looked back from there. We didn’t become ‘official’ until later in the summer, but that love was… my god I’d never felt something so white-hot before.” Maggie said, trailing off at the end. She gained a faraway look in her eyes. The pause offered enough time for Lisa to steal a few notes.

“Oh, sorry.” Maggie said, shaking her head back to reality, “I do that sometimes when I finish sentences and um…. go at the same time, haha.” Maggie said in a blush. Lisa waved it off.

“It’s nothing, Maggie. You know that at this point. So, Amy was this emerging bright spot in your life.” Lisa said to get the conversation back on track.

“Right, and like I said, my fetish was on my mind that entire summer. I wanted to tell her the first time we had sex, but I couldn’t bring myself to it. I kept the fantasies in my mind instead. I think part of it was when I was single, I had convinced myself it was impossible to find someone else who was into diapers/little play. I didn’t want to lose her. I was head over heels for this girl. The first time I’d ever felt a blinding love like that for the first time in my life. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her until October.” Maggie said.

“How did that go?” Lisa asked, pen ready in hand.

“Like everything with that girl, better than I ever could have expected. I told her the last week of October. We got home from a Halloween party…. I still think about it….”

***

“How drunk are you, B-babe? Do you just want to watch a movie or something?” Maggie slurred through the spins. She was laying down on Amy’s bed. Amy stumbled to her walk-in closet door. She grabbed the doorframe for support. She swung her head to the side to face Maggie. A blur of long red hair cascaded over her shoulder.

Amy didn’t respond to Maggie’s question at first. She kept her eyes locked on Maggie laying in the bed instead. She had a devious look on her face. One so obvious it warranted a response from someone as drunk as Maggie.

“What?” She said, sitting up in the bed. “What are you doing? Do you need help in there?” Maggie asked, hoping to god Amy said no so she didn’t have to get up. Amy giggled before responding.

“I might need help going to the bathroom. Yeah.” Amy said, flicking her eyebrows up in down while biting the bottom of her lip. Maggie shot a furrowed brow back at her.

“What do you…” Maggie said before she watched her girlfriend slip into the closet. She closed the door quickly behind her. The light flashed on and spilled out beneath the door. Maggie could hear Amy sloppily bang against the closet walls. She was struggling way more than necessary if she was only taking her clothes off.

“What in the world is that girl doing.” Maggie thought, finding the willpower to get off the bed was difficult. Maggie lazily slumped off the side of the bed and onto her feet.

“Amy! What are you doing? Do you need help?” Maggie yelled, pulling herself out of bed and walking up to the closet door.

“I’m good!” She said back in a sprightly tone. Maggie was surprised at her quick cheery response.

“Well… okay.” Maggie thought, her drunk brain didn’t want to leave the bed in the first place. With the bare minimum effort put in to make sure she was okay, Maggie happily trotted back to the bed. She let her body go limp and collapse onto the bed. Her sloth-like reflexes snatched the firestick remote and used muscle memory to find Netflix. The Office was already waiting for them.

“HALLOWEEN EPISODE!!” Amy yelled from inside the closet.

“What did you think I was going to put on? I’ll throw on the first one.” Maggie thought, before pressing the button. With her final task of the day complete, Maggie let her muscles relax to melt into the bed.

The sound of tape scraping across a plastic surface rang out from behind the closet door.

“Huh?!” Maggie thought. Her ears perked up to listen intently on the noises behind the door. “I know that sound…” She thought. Her pupils subconsciously dilated from the thought. “No… There’s no way…” Maggie thought, her heart rate started to intensify. The hot feeling of adrenaline squeezed into her bloodstream.

She heard the crinkle. Maggie couldn’t help herself from sitting up on her arms. She locked her eyes on the closet door. The rustling ended.

“Apparently, no one dresses up for Halloween here. I wish I’d known that before I used grease paint; and I can’t even take off my hat because… then I’m Hitler.” Spoke quieter and quieter from the TV.

“Hey, Maggie?” Amy said from behind the door.

“Yes, Amy?” Maggie responded. She heard the doorknob jostle. The closet door’s hinges creaked as Amy cracked it open.

“I have something I’ve always wanted to tell you.” Amy said the door opened slowly. Amy was almost in Maggie’s view.

Just like the first time she saw her, Maggie’s mind went silent.

“Did you know I’m, super good at making it to the potty on time?” Amy said in a low sexy tone. She was completely naked, except for a disposable adult diaper wrapped around her waist. Maggie didn’t respond. Her eyes ignited into shock.

Amy smiled at her girlfriend’s surprise. She could tell from the look on her face this was everything she wanted. Amy took a few steps closer to Maggie, before stopping at the foot of the bed. She spread her legs apart for Maggie to get a better view of the diaper. She placed both hands on her side in a proud stance. Maggie leaned her face in closer to the diaper, she wrapped her arms around Amy’s waist and pulled in close.

“Babe, you’re doing this for me!?” Maggie said, her cheek was pressed up against Amy’s diaper. She felt Amy run her hands through the roots of Maggie’s hair.

“Of course, Maggie. I love making you happy. If you want to see me in diapers, I’m going to wear them for you.” Amy said softly. She took her free hand and gently pushed Maggie’s head closer into her waist. Maggie looked upward from Amy’s diaper.

“Thank you.” Maggie said back. She had been with other women in the past, but this was truly her first real diapered sexual experience. Amy moved her hands to Maggie’s chest and pushed her down onto the bed. “I’m so happy my first time gets to be with you.” Maggie whispered. Amy smiled and hummed happily.

“Now, relax you silly goose. I still have something I need to tell you.” She said Maggie crawled away from the base of the bed so Amy could get on top of her. Maggie laid her head down on a pillow, and Amy rested on all fours right above Maggie. Amy’s long flowy hair spilled across the sides of Maggie’s view. She felt like a clownfish swimming through the great red reef.

“So, as I was saying before you rudely interrupted. I’m super good at making it to the potty on time. Last week, I was able to make it to the potty FIVE times! Can you believe that?! A whole five times last week I didn’t use my diaper. My Mommy said that I’m basically potty trained at this point. I think she’s right. I may have used my diaper a couple of times last week, but that was on purpose, I still knew I had to go.” Amy said, her face hovered directly above Maggie’s.

“I was playing with my toys. What else was I supposed to do? Get up and go? Yeah, no. I was too busy playing tea with my dollies. Even big kids do that, right?” Amy said Maggie couldn’t resist. Her hands lifted and clung onto her girlfriend’s soft padding.

It felt heavenly. Electric sparks raced through her body. Her head felt swimmy. It was a serotonin overload. Maggie couldn’t stop soft moans from slipping between her lips in between sharp exhales. This was unfathomably hot, the most profound sexual encounter in her life, and she had only whispered a couple of words. The diaper felt better on Amy than on herself. She’d spent plenty of time touching her own diapers. Maggie had never felt one on another person before. The warm touch of her skin around the edges. They melted perfectly into the thick puffy padding. She wanted Amy like this all the time.

“I’m never going to have accidents ever again. Nope— “Amy said, her eyes closed, the tiny muscles around her eyes tightened. “I… know all the time when I’m peeing. I don’t have accidents anymore. I’m a big— girl.” Amy said, her face continued to strain. Maggie lifted her head closer to Amy’s eyes.

“Babe are you-“ Maggie said.

“Shh!” Amy said, flashing a smile.

“I don’t need diapers. I’m a big girl. I know when I need to go…” Amy whispered.

“*GASP*” Maggie escaped.

Maggie’s hands felt the bottom of Amy’s diaper suddenly grow hot. Both hands rushed to cup it.

“I always know when I have to go pee. I don’t have accidents. I’m a big kid who uses the potty.” Amy said, she relaxed one step further. Another wave of pee of escaped into Amy’s diaper. The warmth spread to the front of Amy’s diaper as a steady stream started trickling. Maggie’s hands were glued to her girlfriend’s accident.

“Um… I’m not too sure about that.” Maggie whispered back. Amy shot back a confused look.

“What do you mean? I don’t have accidents anymore. I would know if I was going potty right now.” She said, sounding genuinely offended. Maggie could barely contain the aching horny pleasure between her thighs. This was a deep fantasy of hers playing out in real-time.

“I would check that diaper of yours...” Maggie said, Amy rolled her eyes.

“Yeah right.” Amy said, extending a hand down the front of her diaper. “I’m not…” She stopped; her face melted into bonafide shock. She looked desperately into Maggie’s eyes, “Uh-oh… Mommy. I think I had an accident…” She whispered.

Maggie couldn’t hold it back a second longer. She moved her head up and kissed Amy. Years of pent-up diapered sexual frustration moved through her lips. She wrapped her arms around her back and pulled in tightly. The two wrapped themselves into a passionate mess of love, sex, and diapers.

“I don’t think I’m ready for the potty…” Amy whispered in between Maggie’s lips. Maggie shook her head.

“Nope, nowhere close.” Maggie said back, the two continuing their intense make-out.

“Are you going to keep me in diapers forever now, Mommy?” Amy said, Maggie, nodded this time.

“Forever. You’re never getting out of them. You’re going to be my little diaper pisser for the rest of your life.” Maggie said, she let her fantasies spill out her lips. Amy moaned.

“Mmm, yeah? I’m gonna piss in my diapers for the rest of my life? Well, better stop trying now then.” Amy said, she grabbed Maggie’s hand and placed it on the front of her diaper. One last gush of hot pee soaked into her diaper. Amy’s soggy diaper drooped and swayed with the rhythm of their movements.

“I can’t… I’m…” Maggie whispered, feeling herself crescendo into pure bliss. Amy had tickled the foundation of Maggie’s sexual desires. She helplessly came into a universe-shattering finish.

“Babe…. Oh my god…. Babe…..” Maggie said, flopping to the side to catch her breath. “Amy… this is the hottest…. The hottest thing I’ve ever done.” She said in between. Amy was sucking the same wind.

“I know….” She said, her head fell to the side to look at Maggie. “… Me too.” She said. Maggie felt warm happiness takeover her emotions.

“Are you still drunk?” Maggie asked, Amy, chuckled.

“Yeah, you?” Amy said, Maggie, nodded quickly.

“You got any more diapers?” Maggie asked, Amy, shrugged.

“That depends, is it your time to play baby, and I’m the Mommy?” Amy said playfully. Maggie felt her cheeks flush red.

“Yes.” Maggie whispered. Amy’s demeanor sharpened the moment Maggie uttered the words.

“Where is your diaper then, Maggie?! You’re going to pee all over this bed at any minute!” Amy said in a sexy stern voice.

Maggie happily obliged her Mommy’s orders.

***

“That was one of the most vulnerable moments of my life. Up to that point, everything Melissa had said and done to me was the only experience I had with diapers.” Maggie said to Lisa.

“It’s astounding you found someone who was able to accept you for who you are at the time. When you’re that young, it’s difficult to understand your acceptance starts with yourself, not from the opinions of others, even if they are your partner.” Lisa said back, the light from outside her office had grown a dull orange.

“It’s taken me a long time to understand that. Even after all these years, I’m still not 100% okay with myself. But when I was with Amy, I didn’t feel like I needed the acceptance of myself. She was okay with it, and that was all the validation I needed at the time.” Maggie said solemnly.

“I feel like this is the part where you tell me things might have started to change between you two..?” Lisa said in jest.

“Nah. Things only got better from there. Way better in fact. I’m not with her now, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t have some truly incredible moments.” Maggie said, Lisa nodded. She didn’t mean to insinuate any malice.

“Of course, what were those happy- Oh!” Lisa said, her watch began beeping in a rhythmic tone. “See, I told you! When I have sessions with people like you, I need the alarm.” She said jokingly. Maggie flashed a smile back and nodded.

“No problem Lisa, we’ll talk about the good times next week.” She said, getting up from the couch. “Oof…” Maggie thought, feeling the weight of her diaper sag. “These pants won’t be able to see this evening, let alone next week if I don’t change in the car…” She thought, before waving goodbye to Lisa.

“See you then!” Lisa said back.

“Amy, Amy, Amy….” Maggie thought to herself as she got into her car. “You’re the reason I’m changing my diapers in this car in the first place…”