RE: Trailer Trash 52 pt 3 (Patreon)

/// May keep, may cut. I spent time doing a reread of a lot of old sections and wanted to more firmly establish some things that felt like they were maybe too glossed over before.

“What is it?! Quasimodo asked nervousoly,” Hannah exclaimed. “No one—”

“Nervously,” Tabitha corrected in a gentle voice.

“Nervoush—Ner-vous-oly,” Hannah sounded it out with a giggle. “Nervousoly.”

“Nervous—ly,” Tabitha enunciated.

“Nervously,” Hannah repeated. “I knew that! It just sounded wrong either way, ‘cause that’s when you keep saying it and it just starts sounding wrong. Duh. Nervously, nervous-oly!”

“I do know what you mean,” Tabitha said with a small smile. “Continue, though!”

“‘What is it?’ Quasimodo asked nervously.” Hannah recited. “No one had ever paid attention to him, in his whole life!”

“Esmerelda pointed to a line on his hand,” Tabitha read out her part from memory and extended her palm and pursed her lips over it as if she was the gypsy reading it. “‘See this? This line shows that you will live a long life. And, this one tells me that you are shy.’ She hesitated. ‘But, I don’t see a single monster line!’”

“Hesitated,” Hannah echoed in question.

“Hesitated means she paused—she took a moment to stop for a bit, before continuing,” Tabitha explained. “Hesitate, hesitated. Maybe if you’re swimming with friends, and see a girl who’s scared to um, scared of getting in the shallow end of a pool for the first time; you could tell her she doesn’t have to hesitate, that it’s safe for her to go right on in.”

“Hesitate,” Hannah tried the word out again. “I knew that one. I just forgot.”

“Why don’t we wrap up here for now,” Tabitha suggested, closing the book. “Do you like reading ones that are above your reading level?”

“Yeah,” Hannah nodded. “It’s like we’re playing out the movie—I keep picturing it all out like that. It’s fun.”

“A little sleepy?”

“A little,” Hannah said. “The cookies made me sleepy.”

“Me too!” Tabitha confessed. “They were good, though.”

“Yeah, really good. We should always make cookies. Like all the time.”

“I wish I could,” Tabitha combed a strand of Hannah’s hair away from her face. “But—then I’d get fat!”

“So what?” Hannah countered. “Cookies would be worth it. Ice cream. Cake.”

“You stop being mean to poor old Tabby,” Tabitha ruffled the little girl’s hair. “Poor old Tabby has to watch her weight, and it’s sooo hard to do when there’s bottomless pits like you around.”

“Sundaes,” Hannah said. “Smoothies. Milkshakes!”

“You don’t even like smoothies!” Tabitha lunged in to tickle the girl. “You were all like ew ew ew it’s got FRUIT GUTS in it!”

“Ewwww fruit guts!!” Hannah squirmed and thrashed away from Tabitha in a fit of giggles and then scampered across the living room from her and out of range. “Fruit guts are just gross.”

“But you’ll bite into an apple, and that’s fine?!” Tabitha laughed. “It’s the same thing!”

“Totally different,” Hannah denied it. “Smoothies are gross.”

“I think I know something we can make with the blender tomorrow!” Tabitha quirked her lip and pantomimed having a sudden thought. “Why don’t we make some smoo—”

“Ewww no!” Hannah protested with a smile, crashing back in to hug Tabitha. “Noooo, I don’t wanna do smoothies. Tabby—they’re gross.”

“Okay, okay, no fruit smoothies,” Tabitha patted Hannah on the back. “But… have you ever tried… vegetable smoothies?!”

“Ewwww ewwww!” Hannah squealed in disgust. “There’s no such thing!”

“Oh ho ho, there is so! You’ll see!” Tabitha started guiding Hannah back towards her room. “You’ll see.”

“Bleeghhh,” Hannah doubled over, pretending that she was hurling. “Bluh—bluh—bluwhhhhhh!”

“Okay, okay, don’t lose all your cookies,” Tabitha said. “We worked too hard on those cookies for you to just throw them all up! Let’s get your teeth brushed. Do we need to floss tonight?”

“Hmmm—” Hannah hesitated, working her mouth and running her tongue across her teeth. “Maybe?”

“Did something get stuck?” Tabitha asked as they traversed down the hallway towards their shared bathroom. “Should I take a look?”

“Maybe,” Hannah said. “I’ll brush first and see.”

“Don’t want something super sugary eating away at your teeth overnight!” Tabitha remarked.

“Yeah,” Hannah put on a grave face. “That’d be bad. Tabby?”

“Yes, Hannah Banana?”

“You’re—” Hannah paused. “You’re not going to go back and live with your parents, are you?”

“Hmm,” Tabitha hummed, hugging Hannah. “Not right away.”

“You can just stay here,” Hannah pointed out. “For like—forever.”

“I know,” Tabitha sighed. “I’m sorry I cried in front of you. I should have gone into the other room for that.”

“No!” Hannah said. “You’re allowed to. It’s okay if you do. It’s not even your fault! It’s your parent’s fault. Mom said so.”

“She did not,” Tabitha gave Hannah a squeeze. “We’ve all been very careful about what we say about all of that around you. Because, those are grown up problems you shouldn’t have to worry about.”

“Well, she said it to dad,” Hannah scoffed. “I still heard it. I’m not five years old, I know what’s going on.”

“You’re seven, Hannah.”

“Seven’s almost eight!”

“If they were fun, interesting things, we’d have told you all about them,” Tabitha promised. “But, they’re not fun. They’re serious and boring and they make everyone sad. These parenting and family issues, they’re complicated and stuffy topics you don’t want to hear about, trust me. They’re the vegetable smoothies of stuff to talk about!”

“Vegetable smoothies aren’t real,” Hannah refused to accept it. “That’s gross.”

“Do I need to prove it to you tomorrow?” Tabitha teased.

“Ew, no way,” Hannah huffed. “Gross.”

“Are you sure? I think I heard that they’re really good for you!”

“Tabby,” Hannah said. “Just stay here and live with us.”

“I’m not leaving anytime soon,” Tabitha assured her. “I promise.”

“No, I mean like—stay forever.”

“It’s only forever—not long at all,” Tabitha sang in a soft voice. “The lost and lonely—that’s underground, undergrouuund!”

“Tabitha—I mean it.”

“I know you do,” Tabitha said. “It means the world to me! But, at some point I do think I do need to go back, when I’m not so cross at my father anymore. My own mom, I worry that she’s falling apart without me. I don’t think she’s been handling it well over there.”

“Oh,” Hannah said, furrowing her brow.

“But, no matter what, it’s not like I’ll just be gone for good,” Tabitha said. “I think when your dad is feeling all better, and things are more normal around the house here, I’ll just start feeling like I’m in the way around here.”

“You won’t be,” Hannah shook her head and her little ponytail bounced with the movement. “Ever, at all.”

“Thank you,” Tabitha gave her a second squeeze. “Now—go brush up! Brush brush brush!”

Confident that Hannah was well versed in how to properly brush her teeth, Tabitha left her to her own devices in the bathroom. Spending time with her little ward was incredibly therapeutic and she felt a lot better than she did after the call with her father. But, at the same time, it was sobering to see Hannah’s worry for her creep in past the giggles and playful banter. There was so much of her life right now that was just a big mess, and though it was selfish, Tabitha just didn’t want those realities infringing on her time with Hannah.

She’s getting way too attached to me, Tabitha thought with a bitter smile as she crossed the house, heading towards the master bedroom. And, that obviously cuts both ways. Deeply.

“Knock knock knock?” Tabitha called through the door, unwilling to actually rap her knuckle against it. “May I—would it be alright if I speak with—”

“We’re decent, come on in,” Mrs. Macintire yelled in amusement.

“Thank you,” Tabitha said, awkwardly opening the door and trying not to stare.

The TV in there was on, but she wasn’t sure the married couple was even watching—they were cuddled up together on the bed in a way that seemed too intimate for her to be intruding on. It was another ‘maybe this is normal’ aspect of families Tabitha was trying to come to terms with. Her own mother and father had been affectionate in front of her so rarely that anything beyond a hug seemed downright scandalous to her ingrained sensibilities.

“Um,” Tabitha said. “I was wondering if I could ask for time off tomorrow afternoon?”

“Uh-oh, check her pay stubs,” Officer Macintire snorted. “Make sure she’s got all her hours in, check and see that she hasn’t used up her days off already.”

“Oh, stop,” Mrs. Macintire slapped his exposed chest.

Tabitha’s eyes went a little wide at that—but the hand was safe, landing on his pectoral and not hitting too close to where a bullet had ripped through his sternum. Seeing the smack still made her jumpy, though, and she quickly looked away. Arriving at exactly the wrong conclusion, Mrs. Macintire seemed to smirk and pull the bedcover up a bit more to cover her husband’s bare upper body.

No, it’s—it REALLY isn’t that, please don’t give me that smug look.

“I was hoping to spend time with Elena,” Tabitha said, clearing her throat. “After some of what happened there with the um, the Julie thing. I haven’t been able to speak with her or clear that up, and I didn’t want to go through all of that over the phone.”

“That’s fine,” Mrs. Macintire agreed. “Will you need a lift over there?”

“I think her mom should be able to pick me up,” Tabitha answered. “I’ll call and make sure it’s okay to visit, though. If that’s okay.”

“Of course, of course,” Sandra smiled. “Hannah can survive somehow without you for a day. Might be good to remind her that she has her parents she can spend time with, too.”

“You could watch Kiki’s Delivery Service with her,” Tabitha suggested. “It’s the cartoon I got her for Christmas. I think she’d be thrilled to share it with you.”

“There she goes again, talking like a Duchess,” Mrs. Macintire said. “It’s completely fine, Tabitha. You didn’t even really have to ask. When you need time to do things with your friends, that’s important, too. You are not our servant, okay?”

“I’m just worried,” Tabitha admitted. “Hannah’s grown very attached to me. She’s… afraid I’m going to go back to live with my parents.”

“I’m just as afraid of that as she is,” Mrs. Macintire said, giving her a look. “Both of us are. Because—flaws or not, they are your parents, and if and when you want to go, there’s nothing we can do to stop you.”

“I—” Tabitha opened her mouth to respond to that, but she didn’t know how to respond to that, so no words came out. “Um.”

“You love them, but you can’t stand them,” Officer Macintire summed things up for her. “‘Specially not now, I’d bet. You take all the time you need, okay Tabitha?”

“Thank you,” Tabitha let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding in.

“Her dad called today,” Officer Macintire twisted a bit on the bed to face his wife. “For Tabby.”

“To apologize? Or—?” Mrs. Macintire didn’t try to conceal her scowl.

“I forgot to listen in, my show was on,” Officer Macintire chuckled.

“He… did apologize,” Tabitha explained. “He’s coming to terms with Lisa being. An addict. I think. I just—I think I need more time.”

“Well, don’t look at us, we’re not about to shove you out the door,” Mrs. Macintire said, resting her arm on her husband’s shoulder. “You’re welcome to stay here for as long as you want, I mean it. We never knew how much we needed someone here helping with Hannah.”

“Thank you,” Tabitha blushed. “Really—thank you both so much.”

“Great!” Mrs. Macintire gave her a knowing smile. “Now quit ogling my husband!”

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