AnimeCon Harem 15: Big Fucking Bluff pt 3 (Patreon)

“Will Chloe burn up in sunlight?” Emily asked as they climbed up the exterior stairwell of the Westerlin.

They’d just used Chloe’s debit card to book them a room under Emily’s name, which was weird and bizarre and not something Emily could quite wrap her mind around. One couldn’t simply switch off a visceral hatred for their enemy. Trying to suppress the ill will she felt towards Chloe seemed to instead wind up making her more and more suspicious of Chloe’s motives.

“Yeah, sorta,” Kelly mumbled.

“Really?” Emily wasn’t sure why she felt so surprised. “Remind me to pull the curtains down when we get inside.”

“It’s not like, she won’t—” Kelly sighed. “She isn’t going to burst into flames.”

“Oh.”

“Rebecca’s skin would get super irritated in direct sunlight,” Kelly explained. “In that future where it was her on the blood magic thing. We had a bunch of theories, but from what she said, direct sunlight made her skin try to uh, try to like, continuously regenerate. Was burning off her reserves of energy for no reason. I guess it treated UV rays as damage, even if it’s like, basically harmless to normal people.”

“Ultraviolet radiation can cause skin cancer,” Rebecca remarked in her sing-song voice. “I do put sunblock on my face and arms when I’m out at big LARP events.”

“Sunblock, or sunscreen?” Kelly asked.

“Um,” Rebecca paused. “You know, I’m not quite sure. Is the difference the strength of the lotion?”

“Sunscreen only blocks UV-B rays,” Kelly said. “People use it when they want to tan but not burn. Sunblock has titanium dioxide in it, blocks both UV-B and UV-A. I have to use sunblock, my skin damages too easily.”

“Huh,” Emily said. Didn’t realize Kelly was… well I never thought she was stupid I guess, but I didn’t realize she was knowledgeable. Or, I guess I’d just forgotten. It WAS her way back when a few years back who basically walked me through how to do the body paint for my Grimoire Saint cosplay. Just randomly on the fly from me asking her.

“Hmm, I’ll have to go back and check, I left my bottle in the car,” Rebecca said. “We’ll need sunblock for Chloe tomorrow?”

“We might,” Kelly shrugged. “Or… that might be the least of our worries.”

“Yeah,” Emily made a face.

The girls lapsed into uncomfortable silence at that, because it was a sobering reminder. Their new room at the Westerlin was still facing the same pool courtyard, but this time on the opposite side, and three stories up rather than on the ground floor. It was dark, they were all exhausted, and Emily was trying to tread lightly with Kelly as she knew her constant questions were wearing on the girl’s patience.

“I’ll check my purse,” Kelly mumbled.

“Hm?” Rebecca asked.

“I do use sunblock, so I’ll have some,” Kelly said as they plodded down the walkway in search of their room number. “Just, mine probably won’t be enough for much coverage. Just a little travel bottle.”

“Should she have called already?” Emily asked, checking the phone in her hand again.

“She’ll call when she calls,” Kelly said.

“Yeah,” Emily said with a scowl.

They’d left without even seeing Brian, and it honestly rankled. Chloe turning into a vampire, semi-benevolent healer people in a race against time to arrive before the mind control rape creep peoples—all of that still felt too unreal to seriously grapple with. The police officer chick reading off the damages and confirming that yes, it was Brian Douglass—Emily’s Brian had been a slap of reality she was still reeling from.

She hadn’t even given Stephanie much of a proper send-off, which she felt guilty about. It was too much to deal with, all crushing in at once in a suffocating mess of things.

In normal circumstances, I’d be thinking about my power, whatever it is, Emily thought as she trailed along behind Kelly and Rebecca. I felt it again. Something special. Toggled off and on when we stepped in close to Chloe for that last hug. I could tell.

Emily wanted to believe that if this were an anime, that would’ve been the crucial clue that let her finally focus on figuring out what her power was and what it did. Then, she’d use it to help resolve the giant tangle of nonsense their group was caught up in, instead of feeling like some incidental side character who was just along for the ride. She felt desperate to contribute.

But, all she could think about right now was Brian, and focusing on even her own charm power—whatever it was—seemed out of reach. Kelly already knew what it was, obviously, and that was galling. The fact that Kelly didn’t bring it up meant that Emily’s power couldn’t help them here. It wasn’t useful. Which, in Emily’s estimation, made it just like how she felt about herself right now.

We put the hotel room under my name like we agreed, but I barely even spoke up, Emily grimaced. Rebecca was just right there at the counter and had all the answers for the lady to fill in. What good actually even AM I for Brian at this point? For the group?

Kelly found their door and keyed it open, and Emily was still in a daze of thought as she followed them inside and they all started setting down their bags. The room was familiar and it was alien, its furnishings were of the same style as the other hotel room had been but the layout was different. Two twin beds instead of the one king-sized bed Brian’s room had sported, and the side the bathroom door at the back was on the left instead of the right.

Checking her phone again for what must have been the thousandth time, Emily realized her battery was down to thirteen percent, and she rifled through her bag for the charger and then plugged it in at the outlet above the room’s desk.

“Shit,” Kelly swore.

“What? What is it?” Emily looked up with wide eyes, feeling alarmed.

“Your—” Kelly looked up from her own phone and let out a long, aggrieved sigh as she stared up at the ceiling. “The healer fucks, they fried my phone. Won’t even start. From whatever she had to do to get a secure line.”

“Damn,” Emily froze, feeling antsy, now. “How do you even…? I mean, the plan’s been just to have Chloe call my phone soon as she has news. From her phone. Should we have uh, had her go to a payphone or something? Picked up a burner phone?”

“I don’t think there are payphones, anymore,” Rebecca spoke up. “The hospital would have lines out she could use if there was some kind of emergency.”

“But should I—should we have told Chloe to call a burner phone? Should we have grabbed one?” Emily put her hands to her temples. “I mean, if the creepazoids can trace calls, then duh, it leads straight to me. Fuck.”

“We should be fine,” Kelly shook her head. “In this instance, at least. If the Masters have some method of tracking you down, it won’t be from Chloe’s end. Or, it shouldn’t be. She should be like a total dead spot to them.”

“No uh, no heads up from future you ‘bout any of this, yet?” Emily put on a weak smile.

“I’m out of juice,” Kelly said. “Earlier today they sent way more than normal, and it had to get choppy to even come across. I’m totally burned out for a while, even if anyone is sending, I’m not receiving right now.”

“Fuck. Fuck,” Emily groaned. “Lemme see your phone?”

“Sure,” Kelly passed it over.

Emily set it down next to hers fiddled with it, trying everything she could think of. It was dead. Holding in the power button didn’t do anything, sliding off the back of the casing and removing and replacing the battery didn’t do anything. It was bricked.

“Sorry,” Emily said.

“Least of our worries,” Kelly shrugged again, not raising her eyes to meet Emily’s searching gaze. “Can you, uh. Can you set an alarm on your phone for seven? Steph wants me to go work my shift tomorrow morning.”

“Sure, yeah,” Emily thumbed her own lock screen back open and set up an alarm.

“No texts, either?” Kelly asked.

“Nothing,” Emily said. “She’s supposed to call.”

*     *     *

Hours later, the default ringtone of Emily’s phone resounded across the room.

Emily scrambled out of the covers to grab it—her and Kelly had taken the inside bed and had been laying there in the darkness, completely unable to sleep, while Rebecca sat up from the bed near the window and switched on the lamp between them. Adrenaline crashed through Emily and as she hunched herself over the device to flick her finger and accept the call.

“Mischief here,” Emily blurted out.

“Misandry,” Chloe’s voice came through on speakerphone. “The Masters just left.”

Her entire body tensed at hearing that, and Emily gripped her own forearms she was hugging against herself so hard that it hurt.

“They didn’t take him,” Chloe continued. “Didn’t heal him, either. I stepped in before they could. They both gave me a really bad feeling.”

“Okay,” Emily said, trying to rapidly process all of that. “So, uh, package has not been processed?”

“Package has not been processed,” Chloe confirmed in a tired voice.

“Were they hostile?” Kelly demanded. “The Masters.”

“Very,” Chloe said. “The one tried to lobotomize me with something, but turns out I’m rubber and he’s glue. That one got left behind, but he won’t be causing anyone any problems. Dragged him down through the lobby and left him at the entrance to emergency care.”

“Fuck,” Kelly said.

“Other one shot some kind of death ray at me, but it just reflected back and zapped his arm into dust,” Chloe said. “Didn’t put up much fuss after that.”

The surf and spray of fear and confusion washed over Emily at hearing that. She’d been wanting to stay behind and help protect Brian, to stay with him no matter what. But, Kelly was right. The mind control creeps were fucking dangerous, and now Emily couldn’t help but imagine some sort of pitched battle throughout the hospital corridors where their vampiress fended off the Masters; death rays shooting here and there and blasting things into oblivion. Her throat went dry at realizing all over again how useless she was in the grand scope of things they were dealing with. Emily forced herself to return her attention to the present, because Chloe was still talking.

“I went through the spiel about there being a dedicated team there for the purpose of discouraging interest in the package, he seemed to accept that,” Chloe said. “Well. He had no choice but to accept that.”

“What did they say?” Kelly pressed for answers. “Threats? Warnings? Are they coming back?”

“Uh,” Chloe paused. “He did mention interest in our uh. Our precognitive. Sorry, don’t remember the code name we picked for that one.”

“Insight,” Emily prompted. “I wrote it down. It’s on the cheat sheet we drew up for you.”

“Right, well, I wound up basically winging it,” Chloe said. “Didn’t give real names, didn’t negotiate. The big one went down fast, and then had the other one up against a wall. The Masters thing you put down on the sheet was ‘Laws,’ but the guy in the suit called them ‘Rules.’ Don’t know if that makes a difference. Seemed basically the same with some ‘might makes right’ kinda bullshit.”

“Rules, fuck,” Kelly groaned. “No, Rules is right. Sorry. Should’ve been down as Rules. The uh, the intel was getting rough around the edges and I uh, I kinda paraphrased.”

“Okay,” Chloe said. “That’s about it. I sent the one guy off with his tail between his legs as fast as I could. Don’t know if they can label our package or not. I scuffed up the sheet here, but if they did due diligence on their way in or their way out, they could match up names to room numbers somehow. All of that’s logged in some system, didn’t know what to do about that.”

“Ask healer peoples about it, they might be able to mess with that,” Kelly said. “They’re not there yet?”

“Not yet.”

“Are you okay?” Rebecca asked.

A moment of silence followed that question, and Emily and Kelly exchanged guilty glances.

“I’m not… hurt,” Chloe finally answered. “I do think that, ah. That I’ll need to eat tonight.”

“You haven’t ‘eaten?’ At all?” Kelly asked.

“No. I haven’t.”

“I guess I just assumed…” Kelly bit down on her own thumb. “And, you’re still alright? I figured if things got hostile there would be, uh. Bloodletting. And then, you said they left one behind?”

“No blood was shed,” Chloe said. “Or, it would’ve been a lot, uh. Messier. The big guy literally coomed his own brains out, and then the one in the suit shot this Adabra Vekadra shit at me that reflected back and turned his whole arm into smoke. Zero desire to feed on the big guy. Chad. He started out looking like someone tried to copy the giga-chad meme, but inside my mirror he’s actually all gross and wrong. Because it starts to revert him to his true form, or whatever. Dumped him in the elevator and left him, and then when I opened it up down at the lobby again he was back to giga-chad—and then started rotting or melting or whatever all over again.”

“Okay,” Kelly hesitated as she appeared to digest that information. “And, he’s knocked out? Or, unconscious?”

“Unresponsive. Maybe brain-dead or something, from whatever spell he tried to hit me with. Was worried the mirror would undo that, but guess that damage is done. Doesn’t react to stimuli or pain or anything. Just kinda stares. He’s not really there, anymore. So—what am I going to do about eating?”

“Pulse?” Kelly asked.

“Slower again, but still there.”

“Then—” Kelly took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, but you can’t. You absolutely can’t feed. If you do, we can’t do anything for you.”

“How do I know you even can do anything about… this?”

“Uhh, this isn’t something we should be discussing on an open channel,” Emily reminded them. “Right? Why don’t we talk about all that like, in person, once the package has been processed. Okay? When we can do something about it. Can you hold out until healer peoples get there?”

A long, aggravated sigh sounded out through the speaker of Emily’s phone, and then an even longer silence.

“I guess I’ll fucking have to?” Chloe finally snapped.

“Okay,” Emily sagged with relief. “Thank you. We’ll take care of you. Trust in Insight, alright? Yeah. Call us again once they get there and take care of things, we’ll be ready to move. Alright?”

“Fine.”

“Mischief over and out.”

“Misandry,” Chloe muttered only her code name in return before ending the call.

“They didn’t take him!” Emily leapt to her feet and began to pace across the room. “We’re good to go on that. Miracle number one is a go. We’re good. Brian’s safe! Creeps got BTFO.”

“Steph’s plan worked,” Kelly said in a quiet voice. “Chloe—no, Christine helped.”

“And, we can fix her, right?” Rebecca asked. “How, um, how do we go about doing that?”

“Touch her with the charm?” Emily guessed. “Get her off the blood magic track and onto the right track? Then, she’d just have to kiss Brian or slurp down spooge and she’d be good to go, right?”

“Well, about that,” Kelly winced, crossing her arms. “It’s not… quite that simple. Exactly.”

“What do we have to do?” Rebecca asked. “Kelly?”

“Okay, so actually… we’re maybe in a lot of trouble now,” Kelly revealed. “We don’t have some magic way to fix her.”

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/// Whoops. Whoopsie!

Feel like I'm on a roll with these sections here, so might not get back around to RE:TT for a post or two. Sorry!