M'Lady: Bloodwasp (Patreon)

Her supplicating plea aroused so much more than simple masculine ambition from our intrepid hero. Once again, he was infused with a surge of driving purpose, as though each delectable emotion-wrought syllable she vocalized immediately arranged themselves into the immutable truth of raison d'être—his very reason for being.

“Kill it, kill it,” he echoed, with such solemn gravity that even his flirtatious little fairy seemed taken aback.

“Uhhh, no no no hold on, wait—” The lovely and large-breasted lady weakly began to protest. However, without the previous assured and decisive of the absolute in her voice, her self-doubting misgivings would not sway his ironclad determination.

He’d been given the order to kill.

Ever since the presumably total collapse of modern society, industry, economy, and indeed—civilization mere minutes ago, the outdoors had become a wilderness of horrors where only the strongest would survive. The divine mandate he’d been bestowed with, to escort this comely creature to the safe sanctuary of her dormitory seemed only natural—after all, it might be dangerous, out here. It was no place for a winsome waif such as this!

However, when this tantalizing temptress with eyes full of lustful longing begged him to kill... that was truly inspired.

Her first wish had been rooted in girlish fears, naively pining for the refuge of the familiar. Self-preservation was of course paramount, but hiding herself away from the genesis of these new times? It was the height of folly. The old ways had fostered in her an inclination towards weakness, rendering her naught but a coddled child— already now she was growing beyond those prior limitations. Now, she was a bloodthirsty Valkyrie that commanded carnage.

Kill it, kill it! He remembered how his beautiful beloved had urged him on in those dulcet tones of hers.

Your name, my sweet, will forever be remembered by those few who survive these trying times, He knew. Immortalized, as the one who unleashed the fury of my wrath upon the world!

It was time to prove his mettle before the adoring gaze of his woman.

When he fearlessly approached the wasp-thing—some kind of dumb bug—it was with a savory tingle of anticipation. A lesser man might fill with caution at the mere sight of it's grotesque red-and-yellow carapace, but to him, it was merely fodder; the first of countless many abominable monstrosities to be crushed bloody beneath his merciless boot. Good thing I didn’t wear my sandals today, even though it is kinda humid. Probably gonna be all gross and icky when it’s squashed.

His first stumbling lunge forward was a feint of finesse, though few would recognize the masterful provocation hidden within what seemed like unsteadiness of the feet to untrained eyes. Paralyzed with terror at the cunning prowess of this new adversary, the wasp-thing froze in the middle of beating its flimsy wings and was nearly squashed like the pitiful bug it was. It alighted into the air at the last moment as a combat-boot landed heavily where it had been just moments before, undoubtedly buzzing itself into a fearful frenzy at how narrow its escape had been.

But, there was no escape. Not from him.

With the laser-like honed precision of his gamer reflexes, his hand struck out in a flash to snatch the foul and pitiful thing out of the air. Though his hand and wrist appearedchubby, the fatty layers of tissue were actually carefully calculated. Like a professional body-builder, the extra mass supported and protected each and every one of his core muscle groups throughout his body, making him a specimen literally perfectly suited for physical combat.

Finally sensing its impending and inevitable demise with a growing sense of sheer horror, the ignorant wasp-thing spun, daring to dream of turning its pithy and impotent little stinger towards—

You have been stung by Common Bloodwasp.

-62 HP

You have been crippled by Common Bloodwasp.

-1 STR, -1 CON

You have been afflicted with Poison (Weak).

-1 HP every 120 seconds.

Oh

What the—what the fuck

What the fuck, IT HURTS

With a shrieking peal of fear, that damned girl who’d been out here with me on the walkway between Dining Hall and Wright slapped the wasp onto the ground. Its wings fluttered helplessly for a moment, and then the dumb broad stepped on it again and again, stomping the creature into broken mush even as she had her hands flailing up in distress and was releasing annoying high-pitched screams.

This isn’t right. This isn’t right! How could a mere sting from a low-level insect possibly hurt like this?! Brilliant, white hot agony sears through my veins, and I find myself absolutely staggered with disbelief. I mean—seriously! What the—what the actual fuck? The hell kind of mythic nightmare mode is this game even set on? I’m out. You know what? Fuck this shit, I’m out.

Lvl 1 Jeremy Baugh HP 6/100

STR 0 INT 1

DEX 0 WIS 0

CON 0 CHA -3

Delusion XI

Crippled

Poisoned (Weak)

That’s—that’s impossible. Right? Holding up my rapidly numbing forearm, I realize an angry, lopsided welt the size of a computer mouse is protruding from my skin like some kind of immediate-onset tumor. I watch in horror as it visibly continues to swell in size, and on my status screen, the paltry six HP drops to five. Fuck, I’m still poisoned—I’m gonna die. I'm gonna die.

“Uh, shit, shit, are you— um, is that…?” The hot chick rushes over and is already reading my status screen. Damn. She smells nice.

“...I’m about to die,” I—uh, he croaked out bravely.

“I’m so—I’m so sorry!” Those angelic sapphire eyes of hers were wet with tears at the immensity of this tragedy now thrust upon her. We’d never even kissed. “I, uh, I didn’t mean to—I’m not gonna let you die!”

With frantic motions, she—whoa holy fuck she’s undoing her belt!

Uhhh well yeah I’m down for this. Fuck, I mean, only five minutes left on this earth, I should—wait, or was it ten minutes? I mean, um, I’m basically not even really a virgin because I’ve seen so much porn, but, uhh. You see—

Before I can even profess my feelings for her, she’s pulled her belt free of her belt loops and is hurriedly winding it around my bicep.

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