The Cute One Plays the Baby (Animaniacs) (Patreon)

The Warner siblings were having a relaxing time before the shoot of a few final episodes of their revival. "Relaxing" being the optimistic word.

“Season 3 is going to be wrapping up filming soon,” Yakko remarked, stretching as he entered the Water Tower with a yawn at the back of his throat. “I hope you guys have plans made for when it’s all over. Again.”

Wakko was sitting on the couch, feet up and blue sweater covering his front in a way that only barely showed off the Hello Kitty briefs he had on underneath. He was grinning to himself and fiddling with his fingers in a manner that could only be described as hyper confident.

“Absolutely,” He mused. “I know how to make comedy on my own now. 90 years at a certain thing and you pick up a few tidbits.”

Dot sat next to him, arms crossed with an annoyed pout on her face. “That’s wonderful. Hey, question, if you’re wearing bottoms now can you not do this half measured thing where I have to look at you walking around with underwear peeking out all the time?”

“Oh you mean like what you do, Ms. Panty Flasher?” Wakko grinned, leaning over and tugging at the bottom hem of his sweater teasingly. “Nah. I think I’ll stay like this. Besides, following my lead is a thing you could learn to do every once in a while.”

Yakko raised a brow. “Uhm… mind filling me in on what’s happening?”

Dot crossed her arms even more viciously than she already did and resettled on the couch. Clearly she was upset. Wakko just laughed at her.

“She’s mad because I’m getting a solo sketch about how cute I am and she’s not!” Wakko stood up, wiggling his bottom with excitement with his tongue out. He hovered over the side of the couch like a puppy before reaching under his hat and showing the script notes to Yakko.

“Oh? It’s supposed to be a crossover thing?” Yakko read the headline and skimmed through it. “Wow… I’m… not sure what to think.”

“Just take it as a definite sign that I have more under my belt than she does,” Wakko closed his eyes and confidently pointed back at the now fuming Dot. “When you’ve taken her cute away then what does she have? A flower bow and a pink dress. I’ve got the cuteness power now!”

“I don’t think--" Yakko began but was startled when Dot stood up to march out of the tower. She slammed the door shut, making them both wince before Wakko fell onto the couch again.

He looked over his shoulder and had himself a giggle.

“Are you sure you want to tease her like that?” Yakko asked.

“She’ll get over it,” Wakko said with a bright grin. “She’ll have to if she wants a chance to be the cute one again!”

—

The day filming began was a bit rustic. Wakko Warner of the Warner brothers (and the Warner sister) had a very different manner of conducting himself outside of the filming of the show he was on. Animaniacs was about larger than life characters being weird and goofy. The gimmick of them each getting one or two articles of clothing to show off their personalities was fun but over time the “no pants” thing had rendered him a bit uncomfortable.

He spoke a lot on the show but outside of it he was very modest and quiet. Usually.

As such, he tended to wear bottoms now when they weren’t filming. The act of taking his clothes off whenever they had to film was always awkward but thankfully there were changing rooms. That or he could just do a Tasmanian Devil spin and be re-dressed.

Today seemed a bit different though. There were sketches where he wore full clothes after all. Being told to come in wearing the outfit of a high school jock with a jacket that had the logo and mascot of the school on it and a pair of blue jeans wasn’t weird. In fact, he’d done filming for an episode like that earlier in this season.

What was weird was that he had to come dressed like that to an apartment to get the scene started. It was a strange play considering the idea the sketch called for, when he read it, said it was supposed to be him male cheerleading and getting fawned on by the guest star there.

When he opened the door to the area they were filming at he gasped with surprise.

“Dot?!” Wakko pointed at her, watching as she stood there and posed in a denim dress with a sports jacket on.

“Hello new cutest sibling,” Dot grinned. “Surprised to see me?”

Wakko’s eyes narrowed. Great. Was she here to steal his thunder?

“What is it?” He asked, malice at the edge of his voice.

“Don’t get your briefs in a twist,” Dot said, prancing over to him and fixing his collar. “I’m here to help you get to know your acting partner.”

“Get to know… wait, the instructions I got to come here… they were from YOU?!” Wakko gasped, pointing with surprise.

“Sure. I mean didn’t you think it was weird that we were filming in an actual apartment instead of on a set?” Dot asked, leaning in to whisper this part to him.

“... So… you’re helping me get to know the person I’m doing the scene with?” Wakko raised a brow. “Why?”

“I just want everything to go off without a hitch. If you’re the new cutest sibling I can’t have you messing up the sketch where that gets established. I’ve ushered in a proud history of epic cuteness that’s been the staple of cute for this show for 30 years, give or take, and I will not have it squandered!” Dot shouted before grabbing Wakko by his shirt to yank him down to her level, nose to nose. “Capice’?”

Wakko nodded. “S-Sure…” He then cleared his throat and grinned. “But I’m sure it’ll be fine. No worries.”

“Really? No worries?” Dot looked slyly at him. “Do you know that they changed the script?”

“I–they what?!” Wakko gasped. Was this also why he wasn’t at a school court? This new script required being in an apartment?

“Yup,” Dot nodded. “They told me to give this to you. It says that you’re a jock coming over to court his boyfriend in a scene where you cutely dazzle the audience with your budding relationship. Wholesome right?”

Wakko sputtered his lips. “Sure. I can do mushy stuff too.”

“Good. The guest star they hired for this crossover bit was informed of the chance in script and is on his way right now,” Dot said literally right as there was a knock at the door. “Oh sweet! That must be him!”

Dot zipped over to the door and grabbed the knob. “Now when you see him be sure to not milk your pants on sight okay?”

Wakko stuck his tongue out and giggled again. “I’ll be fine. As if there’s a boy out there cute enough to make meeeeeeeeeeee–!”

Wakko short-circuited when Dot opened the door to reveal who had come.

When she did, in Wakko’s line of sight came the cute, excited face of one Huey Duck from the DuckTales reboot.

“Hey! Disney sent me over to do a crossover! You’re Wakko Warner right! It’s a pleasure to meet you!” Huey said, waving brightly.

For Wakko, the instant the door opened, his eyes shifted in view. The atmosphere around Huey was hazy as sparkles and glitter coated his vision. He was seeing spots and his eyes were wide open.

With his arms dangled out in front of him and his mouth hanging open, his tongue was flopped out of his blushing face and coated in drool. He was hunched over as little hearts floated and popped around his face.

“--eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee–” Wakko continued.

Huey waved a hand in front of his face.

“Is he… okay?” Huey asked.

“He’s fine,” Dot smiled. “I think he thinks you’re handsome.”

“Me? No way. Haha. Good one,” Huey smirked. “Anyway, I’ll go put my stuff down. You told me that it’s mostly an improvised sketch right? We do what he wants to do and thinks would be the most romantic right?”

“Absolutely,” Dot nodded. “No matter how weird and strange it is, just do it. We’re the Animaniacs experts here so it’ll be funny. No worries on your head. Just smile and look like Huey Duck from DuckTales.”

“I can do that,” Huey chuckled. “You’re the boss. Well, both of you are technically. I’m gonna head to the bathroom. Be right back.”

With that he left.

Dot smiled with her hands behind her back before shifting her gaze back to Wakko. He was still broken. She snapped her fingers in front of his face to help regain his senses.

“--eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,” Wakko stopped and then blinked a few times. “Wha… what happened to me?”

“You milked yourself,” Dot said simply.

Wakko looked down and pulled his sweater up. There was a small stain on the crotch area of his jeans.

He yanked his sweater back down, flushed an embarrassed bright red and began sweating.

“What do I do?” Wakko whined, panic at the edge of his voice. “Oh no. OH NO! HE’S HOT!” He shouted, grabbing Dot and shaking her.

Dot slapped him across the face. “Cool it!”

“I can’t. I’m literally steaming hot right now and I can’t cool down,” Wakko admitted.

“Gross,” Dot said lightly. “No. I mean don’t panic. This segment is yours which means you get to decide how it goes.”

“I do?” Wakko asked.

“Uh-huh,” Dot nodded. “It’s been changed to be about you seducing your romantic interest right? So all you have to do to make it a success is to… well, do that.”

“But how?” Wakko asked. “I just met him. I don’t know what he likes or how to make the scene flow naturally. I’ll just short-circuit again and embarrass myself!”

“You could just ask him,” Dot snickered.

“I could… but would that be too forward?” Wakko gulped.

“Forget you’re shooting a sketch here and not actually trying to court him?” Dot tilted her head.

“N-No!” Wakko snapped. “I just… we do sketches that are true to who we are all the time. What’s the problem in doing that here? It might make the sketch work better.”

Dot nodded. “I absolutely agree. Luckily for you I saw this coming and prepared by asking him what his romantic interests are.”

“Y-You did?!” Wakko gasped, clasping his hands together.

“Uh-huh. I have everything all set up in the other room. Follow me,” Dot grabbed his arm and led him into the living room area.

Wakko stood there and then gasped. “WHA–?!” Wakko stammered, overlooking the place.

The living room looked like a baby nursery. There was a crib, a playpen, a changing table, a package of diapers and what looked like some folded footed pajamas.

“What is all this?” Wakko said about to enter when Dot pulled him back.

“No. Don’t go in there yet. We’re starting off by rehearsing so we want to make sure we do this right,” Dot stated, wagging her finger.

“But… but but but… WHAT is all this?!” Wakko waved his arms up and down, flabbergasted.

“It’s a baby nursery.”

Wakko slapped his face and rubbed it down his maw.

“Yes, I see that. Why is it here?!” Wakko snapped.

“It’s because it’s what he likes,” Dot said.

“... He likes… babies?” Wakko tilted his head.

“Specifically, he likes taking care of adult babies,” Dot said, walking her fingers up Wakko’s chest. “Catch my drift.”

Wakko stood there for a bit. Then he felt a blush crawl to his face.

“... No… You can’t mean–!” Wakko gasped.

“I do!” Dot snickered.

“No. No way! Nuh-uh! I’m not doing it!” Wakko exclaimed, shooting his hands out with active defiance.

“Okay. Sure. It’s your choice. Cute boy though. S’all I’m sayin’...” Dot responded, fiddling with her fingers again.

Wakko scrunched up his face and winced with a twinge of regret on his face.

He then sucked in his lips and puffed out his cheeks, shaking rapidly with anticipation and rocking himself with self-imposed fear.

He then tugged on his ears and danced in place.

“What’s wrong? Potty emergency?” Dot asked.

Wakko let his ears go so that they snapped against his head, rolling up like blinders before unfurling again. “Okay. Okay, fine. I’ll do it. I’ve worn goofy outfits for sketches before.”

“It won’t be just a goofy outfit,” Dot smiled. “You’re getting the full baby treatment.”

Wakko blushed deeper. “... A-And he’s gonna be the one–”

“That’s right,” Dot said.

Wakko’s body shivered and he panted a bit.

Dot sighed. “No more milking yourself okay? From here on in, the only milk we need is the one inside the baby bottle.”

Wakko nodded, hating how it was so obvious what happened in his pants again.

When Huey finally exited the bathroom and came back, he noticed the two were standing by the entrance to the living room and approached them with a smiling face.

“So, what do you want to do for this scene Wakko? It’s your call…” Huey trailed off before his eyes widened at the nursery within the room. “... I see that you’ve set things up already.”

“W-Well a-a-actually I wasn’t…” Wakko began before Dot nudged him with her elbow. Wakko cleared his throat. “I mean yes! I’m the one who set this up. It was all my idea. Faboo isn’t it?”

He really hoped Huey appreciated this. He had to thank Dot later for telling him he liked this stuff so he could take credit for it.

“It’s… interesting,” Huey said with a smile. “I suppose you want to take care of a baby?”

“No silly. You’ll be taking care of me. I’M the baby. It’s a comedy show after all,” Wakko grinned, trying his best to not blush and to not sweat but it was happening like crazy.

Huey gave Wakko a strange look before he blushed as well. “I’m… I mean I guess if that’s what you’ve decided…”

“I-It is! Let’s do it!” Wakko said, grabbing Huey’s hands and leering into his beautiful eyes. Huey felt a twinge of embarrassment from this but nodded as well.

“Okay. Well, since this is a rehearsal we don’t need to worry about inserting too many jokes right off the bat so… I guess we should get started with the baby treatment,” Huey suggested as they finally entered the room together, him tugging Wakko along by his arm.

Wakko was squirming, hands in between his legs. He had to try and get control over his loins. They were betraying him a lot today.

“Now… lay down on your back,” Huey ordered.

Wakko stiffened out and then glanced back at Dot. She suppressed a snicker but gave a wave of her hand, as if telling him to hurry and do it.

Wakko sighed and plopped onto his butt. He then spread his arms out and then laid down as if ready to make a snow angel. His arms and legs being spread like this made him feel particularly vulnerable. It was like he was presenting himself to Huey and asking with no words for him to dominate him. Wakko had to keep his moaning under control. The idea of it was too hot for him.

Huey noticed the moaning and tried to keep calm. He got on his knees and first rolled Wakko’s jacket off his sleeves so that he was laying there in just his sweater, using the jacket more as a blanket persay.

He then grabbed the hem of his sweater. Wakko’s heart thumped in his chest.

“W-Wait! Before you–!” Wakko tried to warn Huey but the duck boy flung the sweater up and gasped.

There was a large wet stain on the front of Wakko’s pants.

Wakko slapped a hand to his eyes, wanting to shield himself from his self imposed humiliation. “It’s… sweat… I swear…”

Dot giggled loudly in the background.

“Shut up!” Wakko snapped, taking his hand away and suddenly very misty eyed.

Huey grabbed the front of his pants next. Feeling his fingers at the rim of his pants made Wakko jolt again.

“Hnngh…!” Wakko let out a weird wail, ears twisting as he bit his tongue. He was very highly animated here. Nothing had even happened yet.

Then it did.

With a mighty tug, Huey thrust down his pants and exposed his stained Hello Kitty briefs.

“GAH! OH NO!” Wakko screamed, clenching his fists and putting them to his chin like a scared school girl. “I forgot you were going to see my underwear!”

“How on Earth did you forget that?” Dot asked, leaning against the entrance to the room.

“I was thinking about pizza and ice-cream at the time. It didn’t cross my mind~!” Wakko whined. Dot didn’t want to try and figure out how it was possible for him to have been thinking about food during their non-food related conversation but she figured it was probably for the best to assume it had always been possible.

“Don’t worry,” Huey said. “I think it’s cute… you know. F-For a baby.”

That sounded so backhanded. It was like Huey was more confused than anything.

Huey reached over to the package of diapers next and brought one out. It was a nice Muppet Babies themed one. With a nice show of expertise and precision, he grabbed at Wakko’s wet briefs next.

“Oh no. No no no no no. I’m gonna be naked. No no no. Not nudey me~!” Wakko whined some more.

“Everyone’s seen what’s below here,” Huey said, tugging the briefs down. “It’s fine.”

“Not really! I’m always wearing my sweater! I’m not naked unless I take it off, in which case, a pair of underwear goes on my body! It’s how my cartoon logic works!” Wakko exclaimed, still panicked and beyond embarrassed.

Huey just tugged the undies off with one swift motion.

“GAAAAAH!” Wakko screamed. He then flailed when his bottom was raised next. His arms waved up and down as the panic grew and he felt more and more heated by this.

Huey had a look of pure business on his face though. He lowered Wakko’s butt down onto the diaper and then grabbed a bottle of baby powder.

“Be sure to clean him down first,” Dot interjected, kicking some baby wipes over to him. “He’s got a lot of… sweat down there.”

Huey grabbed them and nodded. “Of course.”

He took one out and began wiping Wakko’s bottom and front, making the blushing boy spasm and shake with each rub. His goofy, cross-eyed face got goofier and funnier with each wipe. Dot was hunched over with laughter, barely managing to contain itself now.

Huey just shook his head. Why did he look disappointed?

With several sprinkles over the front of Wakko’s body next, he taped the diaper up and patted his front, gifting them with baby powder dust clouds that made Wakko sneeze cutely.

“Sit up,” Huey ordered.

Wakko examined his face. Something was wrong. He didn’t look amused.

“Hey uh–” Wakko began.

“I said sit up,” Huey ordered again, fists on his hips.

Wakko did so.

“Raise your arms.”

“I–”

“Do it!”

Wakko followed his orders.

When he did, Huey grabbed his sweater and yanked it off his body, leaving him sitting there in just his diaper.

Huey then sighed and stood up before heading on over to the folded footed pajamas. He grabbed them and unfolded them to show off the Rugrats themed pair of jammies to Wakko.

“Now stand up,” Huey said. “I’ll help get these on you before I feed you and put you in your crib for nap time.”

Wakko looked around the room. He stood up and rubbed his arms down, tongue out and gaze shifting around all the stuff. “Th-There’s not much of a story happening for the sketch here yet though…”

“Of course not,” Huey said, approaching Wakko as he unzipped the jammies. “Raise your foot and step into these.”

Wakko did as he was told. He was helped into them feet by feet while holding onto Huey’s shoulders. Being so close to him made him wince and swoon a bit. He let out another soft moan and covered his mouth.

Huey sighed.

He zipped Wakko up into the jammies and inspected the butt flap on the back before patting his bottom to make sure it was secure.

“GUH! GEEP!” Wakko humped and jittered with each butt pat. He swooned and stumbled, almost falling over.

Huey then shook his head again as he held him up. Wakko turned to look at him, blushing profusely as he turned to rest his palms against his.

“I-I hope you like this…” Wakko exclaimed.

Huey was silent for a bit. Then he responded. “I don’t mind it. However, if you really wanted to indulge in your desire to be treated like a baby, why use this shoot to trick me to doing it? I hate dishonesty. If you had just told me I may have even considered it.”

Wakko blinked.

He blinked twice.

“... Wha–?!” Wakko sounded confused.

“The sketch notes I got were vague but they weren’t THAT vague,” Huey said. “They said we were supposed to be at a school. You were a male cheerleader and I was supposed to try and court you. Why else would you change it so drastically?”

“Buh buh buh buh… but D-D-Dot said…” Wakko was babbling now. He was feeling an ocean of embarrassment wash over him while Dot grinned with her arms behind her back at Wakko from behind Huey.

“I’ll finish what I started but I think maybe we should try for a more professional scene afterward,” Huey said, sitting down and flinging Wakko onto his lap.

Wakko stammered, blushing and confused, before Huey shoved a bottle of baby formula into his mouth. His eyes crossed and his cheeks puffed out as he drank it down.

At this moment, Dot approached Huey and held out her hand. “Unprofessional as this may be, I do have to admire Wakko’s spirit. Setting all this up in the vain hope you would baby him has a spark of creativity to it, you have to admit that.”

Huey nodded. “It’s very ambitious. I know the Warners are known for their pranks but it still feels odd that he couldn’t be honest with me. Especially since he’s reacting like he might even like me.”

Wakko’s heart thumped.

“Well, tell you what, I’ll have a chat with the director and we’ll do a little rearranging,” Dot smiled. “I’ll play the part of the cheerleader and do the sketch with you. This baby stuff can be made into its own little segment for the show. You’ll have two guest appearances that way. We’ll style it like a baby commercial with voice over provided by me about how desperate and stupid this diaperfur was in his aims to trick you into babying him. Make it an ad for fake diapers and babification.” She said, scanning her hands across the sky as if mimicking a camera pan.

“Wow! Excellent idea!” Huey exclaimed.

Wakko was drenched in a cold sweat, eyes darting worriedly between the both of them.

This wasn’t happening was it?!

“I’ll be sure to put it by him after we’re done here,” Dot said with a smile.

Huey plucked the baby bottle from Wakko’s mouth.

“WAIT A MINUTE! I DIDN’T–BUUUUUUURP!” Wakko let out one of his signature loud belches and then slumped like a rag doll over Huey’s lap, suddenly really tired. “Waaahgh… huh…? So… weak…”

“I guess the relaxant in the formula worked like you wanted it to then, eh Wakko?” Dot winked.

“N-No… I didn’t… n-not me…!” Wakko whined as he was lifted by Huey.

He saw him bringing him towards the crib and he struggled but only lightly. He didn’t stand a chance.

He was plopped down into it and the top of it was closed to trap him inside. Wakko had enough energy to scoot over to the bars and grab them.

“Wait! Please!” Wakko gasped and panted.

“It’s okay,” Huey patted Wakko on the head. “Your secret fetish is safe with me. For what it’s worth, you make a cute baby.” He winked.

He turned to walk away so that he and Dot could go.

Dot walked up to the crib and grabbed the bars. “Good show, good show. I’m glad your idea came to fruition just like you wanted.”

“This isn’t–! You told me he liked–!” Wakko stammered, stunned by this turn of events.

Dot leaned in with an evil, sharp toothed grin on her face. “Don’t feel bad. Just marinate in there while we go get things sorted out. Besides, you got your wish. You get to be the cutest one now. Enjoy it.”

Wakko sat there and let his arms slump and dangle at his sides, eyes wide and mouth in an oval shape.

He then produced a large mallet from behind his back and roughly slammed it on the top of his own head.

With his teeth sticking out like piano keys and a bump protruding from his hat, he sighed and fell back, legs sticking in the air as he passed out.

The cute one just played the baby. She played him good.

—

I hope you enjoyed this behind the scenes look at what goes on to set up an episode of your favorite cartoons. Sometimes interoffice politics can see a lot of changes in the schedule happening. Wakko’s infatuation with Huey was cute and perfect for the month of love. We’ll be doing something multifaceted next time though. Hope you’re ready for it. In the meantime, tell me your favorite bits! It's multiple choice!