New Year's Resolutions (Sonic the Hedgehog) (Patreon)

Tails smiled to himself as he finished writing down all the notes he could think of as far as New Year's Resolutions. It took him a while to do. After Christmas felt appropriately timed to get this done but he still thought it important to try and see if he could have done it a bit earlier. No dice though. He was just too busy.

The fox boy stood up from his desk, shirt covering his pantsless front, and kissed the list he’d created. It was a series of four short items.

Don’t let any of the general public see my underwear

Stay away from daycare centers and diapers

Win the coveted Medal of New Science award

Don’t suffer a mind break

All of that seemed easy enough. He didn’t know what kept conspiring to make it not so but he wasn’t going to allow anymore nonsense hinder his advancements. Not any longer.

As Tails shuffled on his pants, he giggled to himself as he turned and grabbed the large box on his counter. With a smirk, he opened it up to peak at the engine inside. He was going to take this to the Station Square National Science Center and put on a presentation the likes of which will have never been heard or seen again.

As he turned, he didn’t notice the back of his pants getting stuck on a spindle on his desk. As he walked, a thread began to unravel while he carried the box out the door.

Tails was humming a song to himself, his song, when he set the box down and grumbled a little.

“Ugh, why does it feel so cold out today? The forecast didn’t say it’d be that bad…” Tails mused to himself, wondering if he should get a coat. 

However, his eyes widened when he stood back up and saw his Care Bears briefs staring back at him.

“HYEEEP!” Tails blushed, clenching his teeth and feeling sweat pour down the sides of his face. No way he screwed this up already!

He was standing on the sidewalk, having exited his lab in Central City, meaning there were way more people around the immediate vicinity then not!

Tails scrambled back to the door and went to grab the knob. He couldn’t get it open.

“That’s right! My key!” Tails felt around his waist… and then pouted with anger when he realized that his key would have been in his pants pockets. 

Tails grunted and looked around the neighborhood. He didn’t currently see anyone, which was good. 

He bent down, hating how this meant his butt was sticking out, and started to feel around the grass for the key. He absolutely couldn’t find it.

“WHERE–?!” Tails shot up and shouted before covering his mouth. He glanced from left to right, knowing that being loud would also alert someone to his spot. “Where is it?” He muttered.

Wait. No way.

Tails turned and pressed his face against his window. He gasped and felt intense anger well up within him.

His key was on the floor, amongst some of the threads of his unraveled pants! Dammit!

Tails grunted and tugged on the window before remembering that there were latches to open them and that they were only on the inside. That made sense since it’d be weird if anyone outside his house could just open his window whenever they wanted…!

“Okay… I don’t want to burst open my window and crawl in JUST so I can keep my New Year's Resolution list clear but… whatever. I’m something of a genius kid I guess. I can fix it…” Tails sighed and raised his fist.

“Oooo! What’s this?!” The fox heard a voice boom from behind.

Tails flinched. He turned around and gasped when he saw two kids, one a small cat boy and the other a young bear cub, holding up his science experiment box!

“HEY! Put that down! That’s my science experiment!” Tails shouted and pointed at the two of them.

The kids turned to glance at Tails and an awkward silence wafted through the air. They then began to point and laugh at the young fox cub. He was slightly taller and slightly older than them but he was still a kid and thus one of their peers. As such, they didn’t feel a sense of authority radiating from him. He was someone to mock and they did by pointing at the light bulge at the front of his Care Bears briefs and going “LOSER!”

Tails turned red. He blushed from embarrassment but also felt anger well up within him. Steam shot out of his ears rather quickly. It didn’t take much to set him off nowadays. The more he suffered humiliation the worse it got whenever he felt it. It was just endlessly frustrating and the embarrassment never stopped multiplying. 

He wasn’t going to allow it to continue here!

The two boys laughed at Tails and pointed before the bear cub turned to the cat boy and said, “Hey! This is a science experiment right? He said so!”

“Yeah!” The cat boy responded, his face twisting into a mischievous grin. “Let’s take it to the science center and get a reward!”

“Huh?!” Tails gasped.

“Whoo-hoo! We love science!” The two of them rushed off, carrying the box over their heads.

Tails’ eyes twitched. He was locked out of his house with no pants on and two brats had just run off with his science experiment.

All that happened the instant he stepped out of his house…! No! No way! He wasn’t allowing this to be how things unfolded on the first day of his New Year's Resolutions!

“COME BACK HERE! THAT BOX IS MINE!” Tails shouted, rushing down the sidewalk with his fists up. He grunted in annoyance when he reached behind him, pulled out a notepad, and crossed out the first line.

‘Don’t let any of the general public see my underwear’ was off the list. 

Fine. Whatever!

“He’s coming after us!” The cat boy said with a grin. He didn’t look or sound worried. The bear cub responded by reaching into his pocket and tossing a couple of marbles onto the ground.

Tails’ eyes got big. He stepped on the collection of them and began to flail and stumble around, arms waving up and down. “AH! AAAAH! NO! KIDS STILL PLAY WITH MARBLES?! REALLY?!”

Tails screamed and began to spin his tails to try and fly but kept slipping. When he took off to the sky he spun badly and WHAP!

The fox slammed face first into a stop sign.

The kids laughed as they continued to rush off, taking the bus when it arrived for them on the spot. Meanwhile, Tails slid down the stop sign and flopped onto his back with his legs sticking up.

Tails’ eyes were rolling and his open mouthed, gap-toothed smile of derpiness rested on his face as he twitched about in pain. 

He felt a shiver run through his body. He groaned and blinked several times, feeling the haze in his eyes start to clear. He sat up and looked down at himself. 

There was a wet spot on his briefs.

“... Did I… forget to use the bathroom when I woke up…?” Tails winced, blushing again.

Yeah. He did. Of course he did.

“Hey look! That kid is in his underwear!” Someone laughed across the street and pointed at him again.

Tails yelped and jumped to his feet. Feeling his bladder aching and the embarrassment wash over him, he pressed his hands to his crotch, glancing around, and then rushed away, spewing sweat everywhere.

He eventually spun his tails again and took off to the sky, determined to reach the science center and stop those kids. He couldn’t allow them to take credit for his project!

When he flew through the sky and hid behind buildings, he eventually managed to reach the center. He landed in front of it and rushed forward to try and enter… but was stopped by a huge bull dog man in a black outfit. His entire body was grabbed and hoisted into the air before he could make it inside.

“What are you doing?!” Tails asked, kicking his legs back and forth.

“You can’t just rush in there dressed like that little fox,” The bulldog said back. “This is a place for scientists and inventors, not streakers and crazy delinquents.”

Tails’ eye twitched.

“Delinquent? DELINQUENT?!” Tails snapped and bit onto the dog’s arm. He yelped and let Tails go. He landed on his feet and kicked the door open, now completely upset and incensed beyond belief. “I’m NOT a delinquent!”

He said this as he broke into a science center in nothing but a shirt and a damp pair of underoos. He totally didn’t look like a crazy person when he shuffled through the crowd and pointed at the stage where the two boys were currently presenting HIS project to them.

“Yeah! It’s an engine of some kind!” The bear cub said, clearly not sure what it actually was.

“It’s super cool isn’t it! We deserve a medal!” The cat boy laughed.

“That is MINE!” Tails’ voice cut through the crowd. People suddenly took notice of him being there and they dispersed a bit to stand clear of him when they noticed he was in a pair of briefs.

“Huh? Who is that?” The bear cub pretended not to know.

“I think he’s a dumb fan who wants our prestige,” The cat boy said back.

“Either that or he’s a streaker,” The bear cub laughed.

“Ugh!” Tails stomped his foot, both fists clenched as he got red in the face again. He was about to tell them off again when he heard footsteps stomp up from behind him. The guard dog was back.

The fox grunted and spun his tails, taking off before he was grabbed again from behind.

“Hey! You can’t streak in here you pervert!” The bulldog snapped.

“I’m NOT a pervert either!” Tails pointed down at him, showing the entire center his underwear. The photos being snapped cut into his senses and made him radiate heat from embarrassment again. His bladder was aching again.

He grabbed his crotch and groaned.

“Hey! He’s doing something indecent above us! Gross! Do that in your bathroom, pervy fox boy!” The bear cub shouted up at Tails, giggling as he took the chance to make the crowd think Tails was doing something else to his crotch.

Tails blushed a deeper shade of red as more murmuring was happening and more photos were being taken. This was a place that tended to make the news so that wasn’t good for him at all. Tails needed to fix this and now!

The fox landed on stage and pointed at the two younger boys. “You stole my experiment and I want it back! Now!”

“Do you have any proof?” The bear cub asked, tilting his head, cutely.

“You don’t even look like scientists!” Tails snapped. “I can make loads of great stuff! Way better than anything you’ve ever made or any of the junk people are trying to show off here! Like that–!” Tails turned and pointed down to a separate project on the ground floor. “What even IS that?”

The sparrow that had the project Tails was talking to looked slightly confused and a bit taken aback when he was suddenly being singled out by the young pervert. 

“Oh this?” The sparrow gestured to a machine that looked like a photocopier. Only, instead of paper, it was spitting out poofy unfolded diapers. “It’s a machine for proper infant care. Unfolding diapers made easier via proper unfolding techniques granted by machinery.”

Tails grumbled. “Ugh! It’s so stupid! Why’d you come up with that?! It’s dumb! You’re dumb!” He was losing his cool, super frustrated by this predicament. He’d have been way nicer earlier but he’d been so thoroughly screwed over that he wasn’t thinking straight. His anger was getting the better of him.

“This underwear streaker broke into a place of science, started claiming that we stole his project, isn’t showing any proof, and is now holding his crotch in front of all of us with his butt sticking out,” The cat boy said simply. “He’s gotta go!”

“NO! You’ve gotta go! NOW!” Tails growled and charged at them. 

“Whoa!” The cat boy dodged and stuck his foot out. Tails yelped and tripped over it, falling forward and banging his chin against the engine!

On cue, it began to hum and jitter. 

Tails’ tongue was flopped out and he saw cute, chirping birdies float around his head as his bottom jittered up and down from spasming in pain.

The crowd got a little worried at the humming the engine was doing though. The two kids backed away and security stopped trying to bum rush the stage seeing as how something intense was assuredly about to happen.

They were correct to worry.

Instantly, the engine exploded!

Tails was flung off the stage, now butt naked and cross-eyed, before he landed like a meteorite onto the unfolded diaper of the invention he just slagged off.

When his butt hit the diaper, it folded closed onto his crotch and remained tight against his bottom.

Tails giggled as he sat up, derpy and stupid. “Dass how you make Waffles kiddies! Blueberry soda and wots of creamed corn! DuUUUuuUuh!”

He then passed out on his back.

With his hands no longer covering his crotch to hold back the flood, his diapers were christened when his bladder finally let go and he filled it up.

The two kids on stage were momentarily shocked but took advantage of the situation quite well. Their ability to adjust to situations like this was kind of unparalleled.

“He went and ruined our project,” The cat boy sighed, pretending to be upset. “But as lovers of science we’ll try harder next time and be sure to bring you what this place desires. Smart people who can build smart inventions and stuff. Not whiney babies who make public, perverted displays and try to steal ideas from hard working kids like us.”

“We’re sorry he ruined your day! Please, let us take care of his punishment,” The bear boy bowed.

The room erupted with applause and cheers as more photos were taken. Security backed off as per the boy’s request.

Instead, the unconscious and drooling fox boy was lifted and carried out of there by the mischievously grinning young lads to parts unknown.

–

Tails groaned as he opened his eyes and scanned the room he was in. 

Baby blocks decorated the weirdly bright colored walls. A TV was on that had Barney playing across it. It looked like he was on some sort of soft surface with a net around him…?

Tails’ eyes widened and he sat up. “NO! NOOOO!”

He pressed his hands towards the net in front of him.

He was inside a playpen!

He glanced down at himself and felt his crotch with his finger. It squished. He was wearing a diaper and, for some reason, it was wet. He had it on over top a pair of footed pajamas too!

“How…?! How’d this happen?! Why am I here?!” Tails stammered.

“Oh! The baby is awake!” The bear cub giggled as he approached Tails, baby bottle in hand. It was full of nasty baby formula and before Tails could protest it going into his mouth, it was shoved on in there. 

Tails suckled down the gross concoction as the cat boy ran into the room to observe the situation.

“Hey buddy! Guess what? They gave us both medals!” He grinned and held them up.

Tails’ eyes twitched.

“We need more science experiments for next time though. We promised them.” The cat boy continued.

“Make us some more and we promise not to call the cops for all the perverted streaking you did. The daycare said they’d take you in since you look so much like a baby! We’re your big brothers now! Kay?!” The bear cub explained, taking the bottle out of Tails’ mouth.

Tails sat there, milk dribbling down the side of his mouth, before he began dribbling his finger up and down his lips.

“YES BIG BWUDDAS! I MAKE SCIENCE IN MY DIAPEE NOW! BLUBLBLUBLBLUBBURRR!” Tails went cross-eyed and felt his mind snap in half.

The giggling from the two boys, whose names he didn’t even know, echoed in his head as he sat there and expelled more wetness into his diaper. Why not?

He didn’t see it, but his notepad was on the table behind them. 

On it, his list of New Year’s Resolutions had all been graciously crossed out.

—

Happy New Years my lovely peeps. Try your hardest to change for the better with every new year that comes. Even if humiliation is guaranteed, it never hurts to try. Or does it? I guess we’ll see. Until next time.