Hedgehog Club - Chapter 1: The Cool Kids (Patreon)

Sonic stomped his foot to the armrest of the couch and made sure the buckle on his shoe was as tight as it could be before setting it down and grabbing his black, leather jacket. 

He stood in his white-shirt with his “Hedgehog Club” logo on it and blue jeans, looking pretty pristine and cool. He didn’t need to do much to make himself look cool of course. He naturally radiated cool because he was Sonic the goddamn hedgehog. Right? 

Well, at the very least, that’s what he’d tell you. Tails stood off to the side with his hands in the pockets of his dark blue shorts, wearing a yellow t-shirt with an atom symbol on it. He looked on with an unmistakable gaze of wonderment. You could see it in his eyes. 

“Say... that Hedgehog Club you go to every Sunday... what... what exactly goes down there?” Tails asks, hands in his pockets. 

Sonic turned to look at Tails and blinked. The fox wondered if he wasn’t getting a response for a second there before Sonic smirked. 

“Sorry buddy. I’m not at liberty to say to someone who isn’t a member.” Sonic chuckled.  

Tails looked a bit surprised by that response. He looked down and to the side, figuring it was probably for the best if Sonic truly didn’t think he was good for it. 

“It doesn’t take too much to join though.” Sonic quickly added, no doubt sensing the uneasiness rising up within his buddy. He remained smiley and playful. “You’d be allowed in to test your might. If you pass, you’d be able to join and then the secrets of the club are all yours.” 

Tails looked at Sonic and rubbed his muzzle. “Hmm... I dunno if I want to join just to satisfy a curiosity that I have. How about you just tell me.” The fox slyly smiled back at his best friend. 

Sonic looked Tails over and smiled. “... How about this; if I tell you, you have to agree to come over and try and get in. At least once.” 

Tails rubbed the back of his head. “I mean... alright, sure. It’d better be super cool though.” 

Sonic walked over to Tails and began to relay everything to him. 

Parties. 

Food. 

Competitions. 

Admiration. 

However, the thing that clinched it for Tails was the last thing Sonic made mention of. 

The fact that being a part of the group meant you were officially one of the “Cool” kids on the block! 

Tails had starry eyes and his mouth was open with drooling admiration for the future this held. He imagined himself in a leather jacket and shades, lifting a large weight while sitting down and casually sipping a soda while a couple of kids around him all swooned over how cool he was! 

“I want it.” Tails said with an almost exasperated gasp. 

“I knew you would.” Sonic smiled. 

“I WANT IT! Let’s go Sonic! I’ll go and pass the test!” Tails clenched his fist, beaming with determination. 

Sonic smirked and rubbed the head of his buddy down. “Good, good! I love that drive you’ve got there! Let’s get this going then!” 

With that, the two of them were finally off. 

-- 

The Gym by the local elementary school was the hang out that attracted the coolest people around. Within it, was the Hedgehog Club named so after the top three people who helped make the group as cool as it could be. 

Silver the Hedgehog; a hedgehog from the future. He wasn’t the coolest of the three but he could make things float and had cool looking shoes so he carried the image well. Despite having a lot of voice cracks and a weird tendency to scream like a girl when hurt he was still at the top because of his ability to ultimately back up a lot of what he said. He was like a really strong dork.  

“Yes! I win again!” Silver fist pumped, standing in his shorts and shirt before his defeated challenger. The small boy groaned on the ground and crawled off the mat, chuckling a bit. 

Shadow the Hedgehog; a hedgehog who originated 50 years in the past. He was the coolest of the three and could end fights faster than anyone, including the guy who used psychic powers. He carried himself well and acted the most serious. Even though he came off as unapproachable, he always relented whenever someone asked for a quick match. 

“Try harder next time.” Shadow said to his downed opponent while crossing his arms. He closed his eyes and turned to walk off, leaving the boy he had just defeated to rub the back of his skull and contemplate how he could last in a fight with Shadow for at least a minute. 

Finally, there was Sonic the Hedgehog. He was born in the present and lived for today. He was the most chill of the three and tended to be all for doing whatever, whenever. He was the one everyone wanted to be around. 

Now, here he was, arriving with a small fox boy by his side. 

“Hey there everybody! Looks like you all got started without me!” Sonic shouted to everyone, entering with his hand against Tails’ back. The fox looked around the room, trying to drink in what was going on. 

There were mats everywhere and weights all around, sure, but he could tell that in the room behind them was a large break room complete with a stocked refrigerator and a television.  This was unbelievable. 

In the small club that Tails would usually hang with, the room he was in was the size of a closet. Not only that but everyone left it rather quickly, leaving only him behind. He stuck around for a bit but didn’t lie to himself any longer by continuing to do so. He left soon after and was stuck in his lab, by himself, while Sonic went off to do whatever.  

It was only by sheer force of will that Tails managed to nut up and ask Sonic about the club he belonged to and see if he could maybe get a piece of whatever action was going on here.  

It seriously looked better than what Sonic described to him.  

That was, of course, without all the eyes in the room trained on him like they were right now.  

Oh great. He was a nerd standing out in a crowd of weight lifting cool kids. Shadow and Silver stood off to the side to observe this too. They caught a glimpse of Sonic and raised a brow at him. Sonic responded by shrugging his shoulders. 

“Uh... h-hello everyone... my name is... M-Miles Prower but... my friends call me Tails.” Tails said, smiling awkwardly and waving.  

It was too quiet. He had to fart because of sheer nervousness too. Somebody say something and break the silence before he broke wind. 

“Well, I’m glad introductions are out of the way! Now we can-!” Sonic began. 

Then Tails farted. He sighed with a dopey look on his face before his eyes widened and he blushed. Tails nervously grinned and waved at everyone. 

‘Dammit! Why’d he stop talking! Was that on purpose or something?’ Tails thought in his head. 

The kids before him had themselves a little giggle. Shadow sighed and scratched behind his ear before walking up to Sonic. 

“Excuse me, a word please.” The black hedgehog seemed impatient already.  

“Oh? Sure. Speak.” Sonic said. He wasn’t going to move somewhere private for this. If Shadow had something to say than he could say it to him right here. Shadow wasn’t going to press the issue. 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Shadow was straight-forward and blunt about this. Silver looked on as he spotted Tails run into the center of the room towards a large weight sitting on the ground.  

“Sure I am.” Sonic responded rather fast. “If he can’t hack it then we’ve already agreed that he won’t join. If he does hack it, then he’s good enough to be apart of our click. So what’s the problem? Are you worried he’ll steal your thunder?” Sonic narrowed his eyes a bit. Shadow sighed. 

“Sheesh. Always looking to make me mad huh? Fine than. Let’s get this over with.” Shadow said, standing off to the side with his arms crossed. 

Sonic nodded and pointed at Silver. “Alright Silver, the first test is the weight lifting one so be sure to explain the rules well.” 

Silver looked a bit surprised. It would seem Tails had already been informed of the first test since he ran right towards the weight without any coaxing. That was fine though. It made explaining things simpler. 

“Alright then.” Silver raised his hand. “The first test is the weight lifting one. Raise the large dumb-bell and pump it up and down several times for a nice and complete finish. Do this 10 times and you’ll pass.” 

Tails grinned. “Oh? Is that all? That’s easy.” Tails smiled, reaching down and gripping the bar of the weight. He grunted and bent his body a bit, feeling his butt stick out and his teeth clench. His face was instantly covered in sweat too. For some reason, this weight was super heavy! 

“Oh yeah... did we forget to tell you that the weights were adjusted for guys like us with abnormal strength?” Shadow asked. 

Tails grunted and snarled. That wasn’t fair! He trained just like Sonic to be as strong as he was. Don’t adjust it to account for that. What sense did that make?! 

Tails snapped and finally lifted the weight above his head. It swished a bit and he doubled back a few steps, causing the kids around him to stammer and gasp, but he held it well. 

That was until his fluttering tail ended up whipping about due to the momentum and wafted by his nose. 

“Uh-oh... ah...AAAAAH-!” Tails inhaled before stopping. “...Oh. I guess I-ACHOO!” The fox sneezed and his grip was lost. The bar of the weight smashed against his head and he fell right into the floor! 

It kicked up smoke and dust for a bit but when it all cleared away, Tails was gobsmacked against the floor with the bar pinning his head there and his butt sticking straight out for the onlookers to see. 

“Uh... you okay buddy?” Sonic asked. 

His response was a large bump appearing on his head. 

“Oh... well, I mean I guess that was just a fluke... we uh-” Sonic started before someone blurted out something unbelievable. 

“LOOK! He’s wetting his shorts!” A kid shouted, pointing at Tails’ behind. Sonic, Shadow, and Silver skidded behind Tails to catch a look and it was indeed true. 

A wet spot was growing at the apex where his crotch was and trickling down his legs.  

“Oh no! Get him out before he makes a huge puddle!” Silver gasped. 

“YOU do it! You’re the one with psychic powers!” Shadow slapped Silver across the head. 

“OW! Yeah, you’re right. Sorry.” Silver rubbed his sore spot before moving both Tails and the weight from the floor. He suspended the fox a bit before blasting him out the door and watching him tumble on the dirt outside. 

Tails landed, spread-eagle, on the ground with his eyes swirling and a gap in his teeth. 

“The cherry on top of the vanilla sundae sings to me~! Hurray for all the happy memories of the freezer~! It’s time to enjoy being in my tummy Mr. Sundae~! Yummy, yummy...!” Tails recited this stuff to himself, day-dreaming about a happy dessert waiting to be gobbled up by him while pictures of this dessert floated around his head in a circle. 

Sonic stood by the entrance and sighed, spotting the wet spot expanding on the ground and trying to block out all the laughter being thrown at his best friend. 

The hedgehog stuck his hands in his pockets and bent down to look at Tails before smacking his cheek to wake him up quickly. 

“Ow...! Hey! Don’t hit... hit me...?” Tails blinked. He then blushed and sat up. “WHY AM I ALL WET?!” 

“You peed yourself.” Sonic said bluntly. 

“WAH-?!” Tails gasped, mouth hung open and face beat red with exasperated embarrassment. 

“Looks like you can’t join. Sorry buddy.” Sonic smirked, trying to be as positive about it as possible. 

“A-Are you... are you serious?” Tails was shocked. He didn’t even remember failing. He remembered sneezing but... wait a minute. He sneezed and then... did he drop it? If that were true than he still didn’t prove himself yet! “Hold on! That’s not fair! I couldn’t have seen that sneeze coming!” 

“Well sorry buddy but it’s too late.” Sonic shrugged. “They’re not gonna let you take the test a second time and... you know... wetting yourself kind of makes for a bad first impression.” 

Tails shot to his feet and covered his front with his hands. He was steaming red, not just with embarrassment, but with anger. The laughter from all the ones behind him was ringing in his ear. Even Shadow and Silver were chuckling!  

“Yeah well... that wasn’t my fault either!” Tails shouted. “I-I never wet myself! That was just a reaction to being hit so hard!” 

“I got it but that’s still not gonna fly.” Sonic said, waving his hands about. “I’m sorry Tails. Maybe you can... start up your own club?” 

Tails stared at Sonic, eyes wide and mouth hung open. Sonic really wasn’t going to budge on this.  

“Y-You’re not even trying to vouch for me. Not even a little bit.” Tails snarled. “COME ON! Seriously?! UGH! FINE! Have your stupid club! I don’t need it!” 

Tails clenched his fists and began stomping off. 

Sonic watched him go and sighed before shrugging. “Oh well... I’m sure he’ll cool off eventually. Shame about the peeing pants thing. That’s... really embarrassing. I can’t imagine what he must be feeling right now.” 

Silver laughed a bit as he stood back with Shadow. “Sheesh... I can’t believe that happened.” 

“Better bladder control is essential for an entry to the club. No doubt.” Shadow added, smirking a bit. 

Sonic turned around and headed back in. “Alright guys... let’s get the day going. I’ll have a talk with him later.” Hopefully, he’d be able to get him to understand. 

-- 

“YOU’LL SEE! I’ll make my own club after all! It’s gonna be so much bigger and better and cooler than your club! It’s gonna have black-jack and... well... maybe not that other thing I was thinking of...uhm...” Tails muttered as he walked along. 

He stopped and sighed. “What do I do...?” 

The fox sat in his wet shorts and kicked at the water in the pond he was sat by. 

“Hmph. Sonic is great but MAN does he have a problem with looking cool. If I could kick his butt than It’d be a great way to show everyone he’s not as good as he thinks he is. I know all about Sonic and how he fights... but maybe people would use that against me...?” 

Tails grumbled and thought again. “Silver might be easier to fight...? I guess...? His power is overpowered but he’s naïve and way dumber...” 

Tails then continued to ponder. “Shadow would give me the absolute best result if I beat him... but at the same time, he’d totally be the hardest to take down because of that...” 

What to do... what to do... 

-- 

Sorry this took longer than usual to get to you. I’ve not only been busier than ever but I’ve also been feeling a bit down too. Hopefully it was worth the wait.