The Ridonculous Race - Episode 24: Once Upon a Time in New York City - Part 1 (Patreon)

“Hello everyone! We’re here in Time Square at… what I assume is the heart of New York City for the finale to the long winded and extremely hard to write Ridonculous Race!” Manzo smiled and put his hands out. There were several large crowds around them. The stands behind Manzo was the special V.I.P one though.

“Behind me are all the looooooosers that didn’t win the race. Here they are, contributing as the deciding factors for the fate of the last three people around. We’ve collected their humiliating dares and challenges and have made this a long-fought effort to wade through them all from the edge of New York, all the way to Central Park, where one team will be eliminated. Then the last two will go the rest of the way here using whatever transportation they can snag.” Manzo explained.

He stood on the podium and pointed at the contestants behind him.

“We’ve run down 22 losers to reach our top 3 teams.” Manzo smirked.

“Yusuke Urameshi and Rinku went home first after sticking back due to extreme overconfidence, and left karted away, unconscious in messy, smelly diapers.” 

Yusuke and Rinku sat with their arms crossed, blushing and pouting.

“Soul Eater and Black Star left in 23rd after they enjoyed the city streets of France a little too much, but got to take home a ton of interesting trinkets for their troubles.” 

Soul and Black Star waved to the camera. Both were wearing French T-Shirts and Black Star in particular had a black hat on with an Eiffel Tower figurehead. 

“Wakko Warner and Dot Warner left in 22nd after Dot’s constant bossiness and blaming of Wakko for everything caught up to her. Now the two of them are still in diapers after the hypnosis spell seems to have made them permanently need to go potty.”

Wakko and Dot sat in diapers in the stands, squirming and keeping their legs closed together, glaring at one another in anger.

“You’re totally gonna change my diapers for me!” Dot said.

“EXCUSE ME MISSY!” Wakko snapped and pinched her cheek. Dot teared up and yelped, squirming about where she sat and feeling pee seep into her diaper from the pain.

“I-I mean I’ll change YOUR diapers! Of course!” Dot winced. It looked like Wakko had found his spine. All it cost was his bladder control.

“Dipper Pines and Mabel Pines left in 21st place after a sibling squabble took a little too much time to resolve itself in the Icelandic caves.”

Dipper and Mabel sat next to each other, grinned and gave a happy peace sign and hand wave respectfully. Dipper then pulled Mabel close to him and she giggled.

“Tai and Izzy, despite a promising start, sadly left in 20th place after being sabotaged by a couple of assholes. Which assholes? I don’t remember. There were a lot of them in this competition.”

Tai made a goofy face at the camera. Izzy waved a bit. Tai tried to reach over to give Izzy a wedgie… and he succeeded! However, Izzy did the same at the same time to Tai and they both ended up wedgieing each other. They both shared a look of pain before they blushed and chuckled to themselves.

“Zatch and Tia left in 19th place after they just barely lost when Goten remembered he could turn into a Super Saiyan and managed to land into the Chill Zone below Dracula’s castle mere seconds before them.”

Zatch and Tia clamped their hands together and raised them in unison for the camera, doing a cute little dance for the viewers at home.

“Shippo and Kohaku left in 18th place after they took the 3:10 to Crazy Town. They ended up actually beating Gon and Killua but were arrested by the police because they threatened a crowd of innocent people with a bomb. Shippo went clinically insane due to the frustration of Luffy never remembering who he was. The only reason I do is because I wrote it down.”

Shippo sat with his eyes crossed and drool ebbing out of his mouth. He was in a straight jacket and a diaper, giggling as Kohaku sat with handcuffs on, trying to feed Shippo some baby food but wasn’t able to do it well.

“Darnit. These things are in the way.” Kohaku grumbled. His sentence was going to be pretty short but they still wanted him in cuffs. They didn’t care about Shippo so they just stuck him with Kohaku to take care of while he was brought back. Shippo merely drooled and muttered nonsense about being the winner… even though he was eliminated in 18th place.

“Danny Fenton and Timmy Turner left in 17th Place after they helped people who were trapped by a falling metal carriage during the window washing challenge and couldn’t rocket themselves to shore in time.”

Danny and Timmy sat with glasses of grape juice in wine glasses, swirling it around as they pretended to be rich aristocrats invited to a special event. They clanged the glasses together and took a sip.

“Natsu and Happy left in 16th Place after their messing problems in Beijing cost them the match. We found out later that the reason Natsu was afraid of Bakugo was all due in part to a plan set up by Mokuba. Funny eh?”

“Not!” Happy snapped, sitting in a diaper next to Natsu. Natsu was jittery and looking around, sitting in a diaper as well. 

“H-He’s gonna get me. He’s gonna nab me!” Natsu muttered and began sucking on his thumb, rocking about. Unfortunately, Natsu came down with intense crippling fear of the unknown. After Mokuba revealed his hand to him, his fear of Bakugo just became a fear of everything. He’s had constant bedwetting spells every night since and has recently been having daytime accidents as well. Happy’s bowels were a little messed up due to the food they ate so he was diapered now too.

“Numbuh 4 and Numbuh 3 left in 15th place. Numbuh 4 beat the crap out of Ray Ray and then sang a duet with Numbuh 3 to send themselves off.” 

Numbuh 3 and Numbuh 4 was huddled together, holding hands and blushing as they waved. Numbuh 3 snuggled closer to him which made Wally blush harder and giggle nervously. They were officially boyfriend and girlfriend now but it was still kind of embarrassing either way.

“Naruto Uzumaki and Konohamaru Sarutobi left in 14th place. They ended up snagging the pants messing curse right before they left. Tough break.”

Naruto and Konohamaru sat in diapers as Konohamaru tried his best to mash up 4-leaf clovers into some herbal tea. “Here Naruto! We gotta drink this!”

“Okay!” Naruto snarled and chugged it down. The two of them sighed in happiness before their bowels acted up and they blushed before screaming and messing themselves. Everyone scooted away from them.

“WHHHYYYYY~?!” Konohamaru cried and shook his fists. He warned King and Luffy of the curse but in the end it was stuck with HIM!

“Goten and Trunks left in 13th Place and TJ and Gus followed them the same week taking 12th Place. After Trunks pissed me off one too many times, I disqualified them. TJ and Gus were allowed to stay but TJ insisted they leave since his body got mangled pretty badly. He had to leave in a wheel chair but it’s been several weeks and he’s recovered! Also, Goten and Trunks are still their powerless slaves.”

Everyone clapped as TJ smiled and waved at everyone. Gus waved too. 

“Hmph. Stupid.” Trunks grumbled, angrily with his arms crossed. Goten did too. Both Trunks and Goten were sitting in maid outfits and were wearing girly diapers. 

“Shut up losers.” TJ said, pressing a button.

“GEEEEEEGHHHGGEEE~!” Goten and Trunks jittered about with their eyes crossing as TJ pressed the button and made the collars on their necks electrocute them. It hurt way more than usual since their powers were gone and they were pretty much normal and under TJ’s control. They wet their diapers and slumped against each other, eyes rolling in pain.

“Midoriya Izuku and Bakugo Katsuki took 11th place. Midoriya chewed out Bakugo for his angry rants about being the only one who could make informed decisions but couldn’t convince him in time so they lost.”

Midoriya smiled as he sat with Bakugo over his lap, rocking him about. Bakugo was in a diaper and had a pacifier in his mouth with a nice little Mickey Mouse baby shirt on.

“There, there. Don’t cry. Your loss wasn’t THAT humiliating. Some suffered far worse then you did.” Midoriya tried to comfort the teary eyed, angry Bakugo as he was being forced to listen and do everything he said as he was the one who officially won the rivalry.

“Ash Ketchum and Max left for their 10th place spot. Ash had been pranking Ben all competition but was finally revealed by Ai. When Ben found out, he was pummeled horrendously by Diamondhead and then forced to dance in his diaper dress before a crowd.”

Ash was still in his diaper dress combo, but was still in a cast for his leg and had his arm in a sling. He growled as Max laughed at him and drew on his cast with a marker. It was some message about him being a sissy.

“Conan Edogawa and Ai Haibara left in 9th place after they were betrayed by Gwen, ending their mutal partnership and locking Conan into a state of babyhood.”

Conan fixed his glasses and blushed, clearing his throat. “Ugh… I can’t watch those episodes on playback…”

Ai chuckled. “I managed to make you a good antidote. You’re even snarkier than usual. That diaper looks good on you too.”

Conan growled and shuffled where he sat. His bladder and bowels hadn’t fully recovered yet, despite the fact that his mind did. He wasn’t very happy about it.

“Luffy and Chopper took 8th place when they left at the Casino in Vegas due to Luffy being unable to win at a bluffing game of cards. He also learned that the real reason he messes and wets himself a lot was because he was the real baby all along.”

“HEY!” Luffy shouted from where he sat, angry and instantly blushing from that description. 

“Oh Luffy. I got you a new teething ring. It’s strawberry flavored.” Chopper said, holding it up.

“OH SWEET!” Luffy grabbed it and began to chew on it.

“Mac and Bloo came a long way despite being the only two left without freaky powers but ultimately their journey came up short in 7th in Indonesia.”

Bloo stood up and bowed while Mac rolled his eyes with a smile on his face, sitting with one leg hunched over the other.

“Then Mokuba enacted his evil plan of evilness and WRECKED EVERYTHING! We’re out of money and can’t afford to keep the show going any longer. Mokuba Kaiba and Yugi Moto took 6th Place. Ben Tennyson and Gwen Tennyson were eliminated at 5th Place due to Gwen being a bitch who tried to have it both ways by siding with Mokuba but trying to snag the win at the end.”

Gwen sat in her panties and a pajama top on, blubbering and crying as she felt her butt sting. Ben smiled as he sat fully clothed, rubbing a paddle in his hand. He had been paddling and spanking her for being a bad girl for so long now and it felt great!

Meanwhile, Yugi sat in the stands, eating gourmet food and hollering with happiness at hearing the Mokuba recap. It reminded him of how good it felt seeing him get taken down.

Next to Yugi was a TV monitor, showcasing Mokuba in his cell. He was in a straight-jacket just like Shippo was only he was clearly more dangerous and wild, so they could only send footage of him there rather then bring him along. Mokuba was kicking about and screaming that he wasn’t crazy, all while laughing maniacally about how he was gonna take over everything, with his eyes crossed, and drooling all over himself and his cell floor.

Clearly, he had gone completely mentally insane now. 

“Meliodas and King left in Japan at 4th place back when King shot off his lust sauce because he’s a premature ejaculator of the highest and most pathetic order.”

“SHUT UP! That’s not true!” King snapped. Meliodas laughed and showed him a photo of Diane almost taking her top off. King yelped, blushed, and screamed as he grabbed his front, feeling it immediately get soaking wet from a powerful orgasm blast. He fell over and whined like a baby about it too.

“Welp, that’s everything!” Manzo smirked. “All caught up. The lives of these losers have all changed for… some worse than others but maybe not too much. We only managed to land two people in the insane asylum and got… several of them permanently trapped in diapers but other than that… we’re… uhm… anyway, let’s begin!” Manzo pointed ahead at the main camera.

--

Gon and Killua, Alvin and Simon, and Juniper and Ray Ray were at the starting line at the edge of the city, looking at Manzo from the screen and awaiting his signal. The crowd began to count down.

3… 2… 1… GO!

Immediately, the three teams shot off at full blast, down the road. 

“We gotta make it to Central Park! Good. Let’s put in a healthy amount of insurance for us right off the bat!” Killua smirked and fired a yo-yo at Simon’s feet.

“AGH!” Simon yelped as the yo-yo wrapped around his leg and made him trip. He face planted the gravel and had Alvin skid to a stop.

“AH! Simon!” Alvin gasped before snarling at Killua. “No one does that to my brother but me you yo-yo tossing freak!” Alvin reached down and grabbed a sharpened stick. He then hurled it at the two of them.

“Ha! Bad aim!” Killua smirked as he easily dodged to the side.

Instead of hitting him, it sliced through the belt on Gon’s shorts and made them lower to his knees. Killua saw this and blushed… which made him smash hard into a telephone pole!

“AH! KILLUA!” Gon gasped and hoped along, trying to tug up his shorts. Alvin ran over to grab Simon and rush off.

“You okay Simon?” Alvin asked with Simon back up and fixing his lopsided glasses.

“Yes. Come. We’ve got to hurry. I suspect that our little squabble there just allowed Ray Ray and Juniper a massive leap forward.” Simon theorized.

He was right too. Running alongside the nearby buildings was Juniper Lee with Ray Ray over her shoulders.

“WHOOO! GO JUNE! My sister’s the Te Xuan Ze everybody! Look at her go!” Ray Ray cheered.

“We gotta stop them!” Simon grunted as he ran forward. “Do you have a slingshot on you?”

“What are you nuts…? Of course, I do!” Alvin smiled and reached into his pocket, tossing it to his brother. Simon smirked and took aim with a rock in its pouch.

He then let go and watched it fire right into Ray Ray’s face, knocking him off June’s back and sending him falling.

“RAY RAY!” June stopped and landed on top of the building in front of her.

“AAAAAAAH!” Ray Ray screamed with tears flowing through his eyes as he fell… but his underwear ended up getting hooked onto an American flag pole and gave him a monster wedgie. “WEDGIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!” He screamed aloud with his eyes crossed overlooking the bustling city that looked up at him with wonderment. 

June sighed but jumped down and managed to grab him off the flagpole, landing onto the sidewalk and coming face to face with a floating TV Monitor.

On it, appeared Manzo’s face. “Hello Juniper! You’ve reached the first obstacle. This challenge comes from Tai and Izzy. The road ahead goes downward in a slope so they want you guys to ride down it in a mud-slide in just your underwear.”

“Oh, come on!” Juniper whined before spotting the chipmunks catching up behind them. “Fine. Whatever.”

Tai and Izzy sat in the stands and high-fived. “Woot! Lovely challenge Izzy, you dog.” Tai complimented.

“Thanks. I enjoyed coming up with it.” Izzy smiled.

With that she began stripping in public, not liking how many stares she was getting. Ray Ray rubbed his soar bottom but managed to slowly start taking his clothes off too.

Eventually they were down to their Sabrina the Teenage Witch panties and Wonder Woman briefs respectively. They ran around the corner and saw the slope and the mud-slide prepared for them.

“Alright. Hope the mud is thick enough so that my butt doesn’t taste hot gravel!” Ray Ray gulped and jumped. He immediately began to slide down superfast, gasping at how fast and slick it was. “THIS… IS KINDA AWESOME!!!”

Or it was awesome until Ray Ray’s eyes widened with sheer horror at what he saw ahead. He was headed directly for a bump in the muddy road. Oh no. If he didn’t scoot out of the way it was going to be like that scene in Shrek where his crotch got smashed!

“No! No. No. I gotta move. I gotta get out of the way!” Ray Ray yelped and squirmed.

Too late.

SMASH!

“HOOOOOGH!” Ray Ray’s eyes crossed and his mouth formed and “O” shape as he continued sliding down. He couldn’t even bend over to nurse his poor kiwis.

Alvin and Simon managed to make it to the TV monitor next. June and Ray Ray were way ahead so they needed to hurry. Plus, Gon and Killua were still trailing behind due to Gon having to drag Killua along.

“Hey boys!” Manzo said happily. “What’s up?”

“Enough pleasantries!” Simon snapped. “What’s the challenge?”

“This challenge comes from Luffy and Chopper.” Manzo said, right before a jet-propelled food kart appeared before them. “The more food that you take off the kart, the faster it goes. However, the only way you’re allowed to get rid of the food is by eating it. Also, there’s a lot of prunes, live cockroaches, and fresh bull testicles.”

“HRK!” Alvin almost vomited hearing that.

Luffy laughed and pointed at the screen when he saw Alvin’s reaction. “Haha. Jerks! Who’s laughing now!?”

“Luffy, it’s time for your diaper change.” Chopper said suddenly.

“Awww~! Alweady! I dun wanna~!” He whined like a baby.

Back with the chipmunks, Simon quickly got over his discomfort.

“W-Whatever. We’ll do it.” Simon grabbed the kart and jumped inside. Alvin climbed in and began to turn it on. The Kart shot off down the road where the mud-slide was.

“Hopefully the downward slide will help us go faster.” Alvin said. “It’s heavier so it’ll fall faster.”

“That’s not necessarily how it works but if we shift our weight in the correct way we can use the acceleration granted by eating this food to our advantage.” Simon said, grabbing at one of the prunes and shoving it into his mouth. 

Alvin grabbed the bull testicles and shoved some in as well. He almost barfed but kept going, not wanting to touch the prunes due to what they did to your bowels. Either way, they were on their way down and catching up to Juniper and Ray Ray.

Gon and Killua panted as they managed to make it to the TV monitor next.

“Hey lovebirds. Mac and Bloo’s challenge for you is to give yourselves tremendously powerful atomic wedgies and roller skate to the next part.” Manzo explained.

Bloo hollered where he sat, fist pumping with Mac. “Life is extreme! EXTREME!” The both shouted in unison.

“Oh, come on. I don’t want… fine.” Gon sighed.

Killua rubbed his head, still feeling a bit of pain before he smirked and reached into Gon’s shorts. He smiled and yanked them up into a tremendously powerful wedgie that made the poor boy scream aloud!

Killua grinned as he shuffled the Sesame Street underoos over his head and over his eyes. “GAAAAAGH!”

Killua blushed. “Hehehe. I love hearing my cute little sub scream like that.”

“Oh yeah? Well, guess what? It’s your turn!” Gon smirked and spun Killua around. Killua blinked and waited for the pain to hit. He wasn’t disappointed.

Instantly, Gon reached in and yanked Killua’s undies up. He was wearing Valentine’s Day briefs with little hearts and cupid babies on them. It even had a little pink tint to them.

“Awww. So adorable.” Gon teased as he got the undies over his head. Killua grunted and shook his fists, hating how he looked and felt at the moment.

This competition always made him feel extreme embarrassment and humiliation and shockingly, it was something he never got used to. Not ever. 

The two of them strapped on the provided roller skates and zipped down the steep road hill, immediately feeling the speed increase as they were pushed along.

Gon screamed and flailed about as he tried to keep steady on the skates. Their challenge didn’t require them to get on the mud like it did for Juniper and Ray Ray so they were a little hesitant to remain in the middle of the road. Killua straight up went for the sidewalk as he had enough control over himself to manage that at least. Gon was practically dancing about to try and stay steady though and the wedgie wasn’t making him feel any better.

Juniper and Ray Ray were almost at the end of the road though. All they had to do was last until they could stand up again at the bottom.

“Crap! A ramp!” Juniper shouted as she looked ahead. Indeed, a ramp was set up on top of a cylinder right before the two of them. 

“It’s just like in Sonic Adventure 2. The City Escape level is coming true!” Ray Ray shouted with intense fear at the edge of his voice. 

Alvin and Simon, meanwhile, were groaning with each food stuffs they shoveled into their mouths. Simon was already farting a lot and it was making him wish he had eaten the bull testicles like Alvin had. Neither of them touched the cockroaches because why would they?

Either way, they were about to catch up to June and Ray Ray when they witnessed the two of them slide up the ramp and launch into the air!

“WHOA! HANG ON RAY RAY!” Juniper shouted.

“HANG ON TO WHAT!? AAAAAGH!” Ray Ray fumbled about, trying to catch his bearings.

Below them, the kart that the chipmunks were riding on smashed into them ramp and broke it apart.

“Our kart is moving faster than ever!” Simon said.

“Yeah! We’ll overtake them in no ti-!” Alvin began. He was stopped when their kart smashed into a taxi driving by and exploded!

Gon and Killua managed to race by the chipmunks, reaching the end of the road before them.

“Ah. We’ve made it.” Gon said excitedly, lifting his fists up to pump them in the air… only to slip and fall onto his back. He skidded along the ground and smacked into Killua, causing Killua to fall and slid along the mud in the road before it went away and his poor crotch smashed into a light pole at the end of the street!

“HMMMGHHHH!” Killua held in a scream and his eyes fluttered with tears. He was having bad luck with poles today. Gon ended up smashing into a window, scaring the kids eating ice-cream inside the shop. 

This wedgied boy in short shorts with the pained crossed-eyes slid down the window slowly, leaving a trail of drool behind. They watched with awe and blinked in confusion.

Meanwhile, Juniper and Ray Ray had managed to fall right down the steps of a subway. They bounced along down before tumbling inside the subway train and getting the doors closed on them.

“Agh! Oh no!” Ray Ray raced to the door but wasn’t able to stop it from closing in time. “Darnit! Where is this thing even going!”

“Relax!” June said, pointing at the map. “We’re on our way to Central Park. We just have to get off at this street right here.” She said this while pointing at the map.

The subway goers usually saw some odd stuff but seeing two kids all covered in mud and standing in just their underwear was a strange site even for them. Either way, they were on the move.

That was until a TV monitor floated down beside Ray Ray.

“Hello guys!” Manzo said happily.

“AAAAAAH!” Ray Ray jumped into June’s arms, shaking in fear before he spotted Manzo. “What the heck man! Are you trying to give me a heart attack!”

“Oh no. I couldn’t afford the legal fees to deal with something like that. Either way, you’ve got another challenge. This is from Zatch and Tia. They want you guys to dance by wiggling your butts out at all the people for as long as you’re on this train ride. Also, you gotta scream out what you’re doing too, while you do it. Good luck.”

“WHAT?!” June and Ray Ray blushed as they heard this.

“Get it going, or else you’re done by default.” Manzo smirked and the TV, floated back after shutting off.

The two of them stood with their fists clenched at their sides, cheeks puffed out in annoyance, already embarrassed by the mere idea of what they had to do. Still, they sucked it up and turned to face the subway people. They shook their butts about.

“BUTT DANCE! BUTT DANCE! LOOK AT OUR BUTT DANCE! WHOOO!” Ray Ray and June said in unison, feeling their faces heat up and shine as red as a tomato. The confused subway goers began laughing finally, and some even tossed money their way.

--

“Come on Gon! Wake up!” Killua stood with his knees pressed together. He was trying not to cry out in pain due to how much of a wallop his balls just took but the tears at the edge of his eyes said it all. He felt like he was holding back a wetting spell now. Still, he gripped Gon’s collar and slapped him across the face several times.

Gon was unconscious though. His eyes were anime swirls and he was drooling with a happy open-mouthed smile on his face. 

Killua grunted but then got an idea. He tugged the atomic wedgie off the top of Gon’s head and let the underwear go, watching with delight as it SMACKED against his poor booty!

“AAAAAAGH!” Gon screamed and jumped up, rubbing his bottom and jittering as the pain shot through him. “Dammit! What’s the big idea!”

“Ah, ah, ah. Remember who the sub and who the dom is.” Killua shook his finger in Gon’s face.

Gon blushed and his heart beat faster. He couldn’t resist playing along. 

He put his hands behind his back and pouted cutely. “Yes master.”

“That’s good.” Killua giggled.. then the TV monitor floated down behind him.

“SUP BOYS! You’re in second place currently!” Manzo shouted.

“EEEEK!” Killua shouted and glomped Gon, letting a pee trickle into his shorts. Killua then blushed and pushed Gon back a bit before shoving his face into the TV, red in the face due to screaming like a little girl just now. “What do you want NOW!”

“You’ve still got to find a way to Central Park. Juniper and Ray Ray are taking a subway train. Wherever you’re going though, I have a challenge for you curtesy of Numbuh 4 and Numbuh 3. They want you to dress in pink tutus and a pair of poofy baby diapers and skip down the street smacking each other with dead wet fish while screaming “WE’RE IDIOTS!” over and over until you reach the main street where Central Park is.”

Killua’s jaw hung open. He imagined the two KND members giggling to themselves after having come up with that idea and it made him vehemently angry.

Back in the stands, Numbuh 3 and Numbuh 4 were laughing their butts off and kicking their legs about seeing Killua’s face in reaction to their dare.

“That’ll teach him for trying to tease me about liking Kuki.” Wally smirked and pointed a finger gun at the TV screen, to mock him.

“FUCK! OFF! NO WAY!” Killua flat out refused.

Gon intervened and yanked Killua by the ear. “OW!”

“Nope. We gotta or else we’re out.” Gon stated, in a matter of fact tone.

“Come on Gon! Act more like a sub!” Killua whined.

“Remember when I said we can switch roles? This is one of those times. You’re getting into that diaper and tutu.” Gon smiled. “Come on, it won’t be so bad.”

Three seconds later, the two of them stood in their new outfits with the huge wet fish in their hands. They blushed as they looked down at themselves, standing with dot eyes and red faces as they realized the tutu was so short it practically flashed their diapers to everyone walking down the street in public.

“… … O-Okay so… it’s actually worse than I thought… b-but we still gotta do it…” Gon muttered, fidgeting a bit.

Killua was shaking with rage but snarled and turned down the road. “FINE! WHATEVER! We’re out of time! We only have to do this until we reach the end of the street Central Park is on!” 

With that, Killua and Gon got to skipping. The skipping immediately sent shivers down their spines as the humiliation seeped in even worse at that moment. They both had to close their eyes with a grimace of despair but managed to try and keep calm enough to keep going.

“WE’RE IDIOTS!” Gon and Killua shouted in unison, then opened their eyes so that they could get a clear view of the other. They stalled a bit, finding the other to look cute in their attire before they smacked each other upside the face with their fish.

Both of their eyes crossed and they wobbled about but kept skipping and singing “WE’RE IDIOTS!” before smacking each other again…

--

“Owww…” Alvin whined as his charred body hopped down the sidewalk. “We’re not managing to get away quick enough…!”

“Alvin! Stop!” Simon urged, standing up with his hand on the taxi they smashed into. “We can catch a ride with this Taxi driver! He’s offering to help us!” Both of their clothes had been torn asunder, leaving them in their shirts and underwear. Simon had on Muppets briefs while Alvin was dawning My Little Pony briefs. 

“Really?!” Alvin zipped over in excitement. “Awesome! I-!”

“I didn’t know you were a brony Alvin.” Simon stopped to point out his underwear.

Alvin blushed and yanked his shirt down. “C-Can we just… get in the car…”

The two of them entered and went to thank the Taxi driver. “Thank you sir!” They said in unison.

“No problem!” The person in the seat turned to face them and revealed themselves to be Garnet. 

“AH! IT’S YOU!” The chipmunks gasped.

“Hello boys. We examiners aren’t done with you quite yet.” Garnet’s glasses flashed as she took off down the road. “Please, sit and enjoy this video while we take you to your destination.”

The TV monitor at the back of the car seat fizzled on and Manzo’s face greeted them again. “Heya chipmunks! You’re in last place at the moment but don’t fret. There’s still plenty of time to catch up.”

“There better be.” Alvin grumbled.

“What’s going on here?” Simon asked.

“You’ve got a challenge of course. Danny Fenton and Timmy Turner both would like to see you boys face the dreaded questionnaire again. They’ve got a ton of questions for you to answer on your way to Central Park’s main street and if you fail to answer them in time, Garnet here drives a bit slower.”

“Aww, I don’t want-!” Alvin began.

“Alright, let’s do it!” Simon said, quickly putting a finger to Alvin’s lips. Alvin grunted in annoyance but sighed and accepted it.

Danny and Timmy sat back in the stands and sipped back the drinks they had in their hands with a proud smile on their faces. This was going to be good.

“Alright, Question 1 is for Alvin. How often do you dance and sing to shows on PBS kids in your underwear?” Manzo asked.

Alvin’s face flushed red. “C-Can I pass or-?”

“Alvin!” Simon snapped.

“Yeah! All the time! Every morning at 7 I wake up and dance to Barney and then flip over to Sesame Street!” Alvin winced, clenching his teeth.

“Question 2 for Alvin. Have you ever spanked yourself for fun?”

“What kind of a-?! I mean… y-yes… YES!” Alvin shouted.

“Question 3 is for Alvin. Did you enjoy it?”

“That question couldn’t have been preplanned! It’s like they knew I’d say yes to-!” Alvin started before Simon elbowed him in the gut. “UGH! I… I mean YES! I DID!”

“Question 4 is for Simon!”

“OH, THANK GOD!” Alvin winced, sweat covering his face.

“Have you ever walked in on your older brother pleasuring himself?” Manzo asked.

Alvin’s red face practically became a tomato. “IS THIS REALLY THE KIND OF STUFF PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW?!”

Simon fixed his glasses and smirked. “Nope. I have, however, caught him pretending to be a dog while butt naked. He was barking and calling an imaginary dominatrix his master.”

“DAMMIT!” Alvin put his head in his hands.

“He saw me and fainted when he realized he was caught. Then I slapped his butt to wake him up and he screamed out that he was a bad boy and that he was sorry before he noticed it was me. Ran off to eat a bunch of ice-cream for 45 minutes.” Simon explained.

“I hate you all…” Alvin muttered, sinking lower in his seat.

--

“We’re here! Finally, we can get off! WE’RE HERE!” Ray Ray shouted as he saw the subway stop. Both he and his sister jumped up and rushed for the doorway, bursting out of it and running up the steps. 

They managed to make it out of the subway station and looked around for confirmation on their whereabouts…

“Uhm… this doesn’t look like where we’re supposed to be…?” June stated.

“I… uh…” Ray Ray grabbed the subway map and looked through it. “AH! We missed a stop! I think we confused the green line with the blue line on the map!”

“Ah man! Are you serious?!” Juniper whined.

“I mean, they really shouldn’t use such a strong green-like shade of blue! That’s just irresponsible!” Ray Ray snapped before June grabbed his arm and headed back the other way.

“Come on! We gotta hurry along!” Juniper snapped as they began running, she hoisted Ray Ray up and put him over her back and rushed along to jump along the cars and their hoods in order to reach the actual exit and then make the turn towards Central Park.

--

“Ugh… w-we’re idiots… idiots…!” Killua and Gon were muttering about with their eyes looking dazed as they stumbled about. 

They were being laughed at and pointed at by all the people around them but they didn’t really care. They were way too tired and burnt out to focus on the humiliation aspect of this exhausting process.

“H-Hey… Killua…” Gon looked up when he saw the subway exit and the park in the distance. “I… I think we’ve hit the main street.”

Killua’s eyes widened and suddenly a ton of energy shot back into his soul. “WHOOOO! MY GOD!” He turned and went looked about the place, sweating perfusely. “HAHAHA! Found some!”

There were bikes stacked against the side of a wall. Killua rushed over and stole them, shoving one in front of Gon.

“Get on! Let’s do this!” Killua snapped and the two of them got to peddling.

At that moment, Juniper landed with Ray Ray on his back. “Phew. We made it!”

“YEAH!” Ray Ray jumped down and did a double fist pump. “We’re he-!” He began right before Killua ran over him on the bike. “Oooguh…” He twitched on the ground with his tongue out and tire tracks on him.

The taxi was coming into view though and the chipmunks were sat inside of it with Alvin’s face blaring a bright red. The Taxi finally stopped and Garnet smiled as she fixed her glasses.

“Welp. This is where you boys get off.” Garnet smirked. 

“Thank you. We’ll make it the rest of the way easy.” Simon said, grabbing the blushing brother and dragging him along.

The three parties began running along and trying to reach the park, when the TV Monitors chose this moment to appear before them again.

“Are you not satisfied yet you monster!” Alvin shouted, shaking his fist at Manzo’s face before him.

“Got a challenge for you in this last leg from Naruto and Konohamaru. They want to see you guys go to the bathroom on yourselves. Every second you don’t, the more volts of electricity I give you.” Manzo explained.

“Fuck you!” Alvin shouted. “Yeah, I cursed. I don’t care. I’ll take the spanking from Dave later. I NEEDED to say it to your face at least once!”

“I really don’t want to ruin my undies…” Simon whined. “Oh well. I’ve got another pair of Muppet briefs.”

“Yeah. I’ve got WAY more MLP briefs t-I MEAN AGH!” Alvin snapped, grabbing his head.

Naruto and Konohamaru sat and tried to watch the Chipmunks go on themselves but yelped when they instead ended up messing their diapers again. It was hard to watch through the tears in their eyes.

The monitor before Juniper and Ray Ray started to churn alive with Manzo smiling happily before them.

“Hey guys. Meliodas and King have a challenge for Ray Ray.” Manzo smiled.

“Wha…? Just me?” Ray Ray pointed at himself.

“Yeah. They want to see you run ahead with you punching yourself in the balls while screaming out how much you love shoving pinecones up your butt and licking doorknobs.” Manzo said.

“… Wha…?” Ray Ray stood confused.

King sat back with his hands covering his crotch, blushing at how wet it was and sneering. “I need to see someone else gets some humiliation down there by my own hand.”

“Sure. Weirdo.” Meliodas rolled his eyes.

Ray Ray, meanwhile, was grimacing with disdain. “F-Fine… whatever…” He raised his fist and punched his crotch. “HOOGH! EEP! Why…? I-I mean… I LOVE LICKING DOORKNOBS AND SHOVING PINECONES UP MY BUTT!”

He kept it up though.

Gon and Killua were biking to try and catch up to the chipmunks up ahead when the monitor ducked down before them next.

“AH! MOVE IT!” Killua shouted.

“Having fun?” Manzo asked.

“I’m in a tutu and a diaper! My balls hurt really badly and I gotta pee! Now I gotta look at your stupid face too? MOVE!” Killua snarled.

“Sorry but we have one last challenge before you reach Central Park. “This one is from Yugi. He wants you guys to drink back a nice bottle of hot sauce each.” Manzo said this as the monitor produced two bottles of hot sauce with its metal claw hands.

“FINE!” Killua winced and grabbed the bottle. “Now get out of the way!”

“Sure.” Manzo smiled and floated up, revealing that Killua was headed right for a stop sign.

“Oh. I hate pain.” Killua muttered right as his bike and face smashed into it!

Gon gasped and skidded to a stop, only to get his bike tripped up when the wheel of Killua’s bike jetted out and made him crash in the middle of the road!

Gon groaned and his eyes rolled in their sockets a bit before he shook the stars he was seeing away and scampered out of the wreckage. 

Gon turned to go and grab Killua but he saw Killua stumbling after him slowly, hobbling along like a drunkard.

At this point, Juniper and Ray Ray had managed to pass by them. The chipmunks, however, were losing speed due to Alvin failing to wet himself. Simon on the other hand…

“HOOOOOOOGHHHH! THOSE PRUNES ARE RUNNING RIGHT THROUGH MEEEEE~!” Simon yelped, bouncing along as he grasped his body. Simon squatted while running and ended up messing his undies! Alvin winced, seeing that Simon was in the clear but finding it hard to pee himself even though his fear was making him really want to.

“I’m totally gonna pee myself if they pass us! But I can’t let them pass us! What do I do?” Alvin sweated and grabbed his face.

The teams were starting to be a bit neck and neck now.

“I’m alright Gon! Keep going!” Killua called out, way in the back as he opened up the hot sauce bottle.

“Oh… okay…!” Gon gulped and opened up his bottle too. He sucked in a breath and began sucking the hot sauce down.

Killua began sweating just looking at it though. He raised the bottle above his mouth and could have sworn the first drop of hot sauce began speaking to him like the scene from Spongebob.

“By the power of naughtiness, I command this particular drop of hot sauce to be really, REALLY, HOOOOOT!” 

“Oh God… pain… pain sucks…” Killua grumbled. He was used to torture but DAMN this competition nerfed him and ever since then everything that hurt before hurt 10,000 times worse! He sucked down the hot sauce and gasped… then his face turned red and smoke shot from his mouth and ears. He began crying and panting and then he began screaming. “HEEEGAAAAAAAAAH!”

He started to run faster, catching up with Gon and even going past him to be neck and neck with Juniper. Gon increased his speed to be at Ray Ray’s side.

The chipmunks were also at their side as well. All three teams were barely edging out the others as they approached Central Park.

“Alvin. You’ve failed to wet yourself! Time for a shock!” Manzo smirked as he floated back down on his TV monitor.

“NO! NO WAIT! PLE-EEEEEEEEEEEK!” Alvin screeched as he was zapped with electricity. He began dancing and jittering about like he was at the disco.

Thankfully, he began peeing himself due to this. It cascaded down his legs and Alvin sighed and winced with his eyes crossing as he ran along with Simon. 

The two chipmunks, with their challenge done, increased speed now.

Ray Ray kept punching his balls, panting and gasping as the pain kept flowing through him. He was stumbling back…

“Come on Ray Ray! We’re almost there!” Juniper shouted.

“Oh God… I-I can’t… my mouth…!” Killua panted and screamed.

“GAAAAAGH! UGH!” Gon screamed as well, holding the hot sauce bottle. “DAMN YOU YUGI!”

Yugi sat where he was, eating a sandwich and winking at the screen. “No problem. I have a mean streak too you know.”

“WAAAAAH! MY FACE! IT HURTS!” Gon and Killua screamed in unison as they started to slow down. Juniper grunted as she kept moving, finding it hard to keep track of Ray Ray as he started to stumble back.

Alvin and Simon, however, were in the lead. They reached the park and spotted the checkpoint that would land them in the safe-zone for the first half of the race.

Alvin stumbled forward grabbed ahold of the tree. Simon soon bashed into it as well. 

“UGH!” They both grunted and fell to the ground, exhausted. 

“W-We can’t stop…” Alvin moaned.

“O-Oh yeah… gotta keep going…” Simon whined and stood up again. He grabbed his brother’s hand and rushed across the street…

Manzo smirked. “The chipmunks are safe! Their next stop is our spot here in Time Square. Now to see who their opponents will be!”

Gon and Killua were way behind Juniper now but Ray Ray was in between them both a bit.

June ran into the park and grunted. She had to go back and grab Ray Ray and rush him along but it was too late.

She touched the tree and gasped as Gon and Killua skidded into the tree soon after her.

Ray Ray’s eyes rolled up and he passed out, landing on his face and wetting himself while jittering on the ground.

“Gon and Killua are safe too! We’re down to them and the chipmunks now!” Manzo smirked.

“Oh man.” Gon stood up and wobbled. Killua slapped Gon in the face and grabbed his arm to tug him along.

“No time to nap! We gotta go! GO! GO!” Killua shouted.

“W-Wait! AGH!” Gon yelped as he was pulled along.

June sighed and walked over to Ray Ray, bending over in just her panties and still a bit muddy. “Ah man. You were punching yourself so I couldn’t grab you and yank you along without you punching me and tripping me up. I had hoped you’d be able to last long enough to reach the tree though.”

Ray Ray snored on the ground, eyes white and slightly cracked open. 

Juniper sighed and smiled lightly before reaching down and cradling him in her arms like a baby.

“You always wanted to be the Te Xuan Ze. You put your heart and soul into everything you did and never gave up. You’ve got so much stamina and didn’t let your lack of comparative physical prowess slow you down. You never let the wedgies or the pain stop you. Even now, you kept going until your body was physically winded. On top of that, you were so obsessed with making a bad situation right with the new friends you made.” Juniper smiled and rubbed her cheek against his. “I’m so proud of you. You’re a winner in my book.”

Ray Ray moaned but smiled in his sleep. He was conscious enough to hear what Juniper had to say about him at least.

Manzo floated down beside them. “Hey. I found some pants if you want to wear them.” The TV produced a pair of clean jeans.

“Sure… thanks.” June said, grabbing them and sighing before a portal opened up before her. Manzo’s short range powers with portals when they were in the same city and not half-way around the world still worked at least.

She stepped through it and ended up back with everyone else in Time Square, getting a round of applause from everyone in the stands when she and Ray Ray showed up. 

Now it was Gon and Killua vs. Alvin and Simon! It was down to the wire!

Manzo smiled before twirling the mike. “Alright. It’s the last leg of the race. The final two teams are on their way here and the team that reaches here first will be crowned the winner of the Ridonculous Race!”

--

1st Place so far: Alvin and Simon

2nd Place so far: Gon and Killua

3rd Place: Juniper and Ray Ray - ELIMINATED

--

WHO DO YOU THINK IS GONNA WIN?