Bring on the Leisure! [Chapter 9] (Patreon)

ToC: https://www.patreon.com/posts/98777693

Despite knowing I should continue fleeing, curiosity compelled me to turn around and listen to the bellowing. My eyesight was worse upon losing one of my left eyes, but I could still make out the form of the glowing golden paladin, striding through the demolished limbs which was the only sign this place had been briefly occupied by a monster army.

After a small delay, the door to the tower opened. Raccain, who I believed was the man with the confident voice, walked out followed by his two subordinates. Raccain seemed disappointed. “Ah. You didn’t track me directly, then. The Dark Overseer… sold me out. How typical.”

“The Church of the Golden Rays and the Church of the Grey Dusk might be antagonistic, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a certain understanding between them,” The Paladin folded his arms across his chest. “There are certain lines that neither side crosses. Including… corrupting the children of the clergy.”

“Tch, corrupting? What a joke.” Raccain shook his head. “Just two old men, believing the world is a toy to be played with.”

“Raccain Alabaster, we have rescued you from being kidnapped. What a joy to find you unharmed.” The Paladin continued, his voice thick with irony. Golden light began to build along his arms. “Please, be careful. Allow us to handle the fate of your captors.”

Should have hid in the basement, you judgemental idiots, My body wiggled in anticipation. Ah, so satisfying to be able to witness karma come around, after you call me a sicko and blame me for Sapphire’s degeneracy. Who is bloodthirsty now?

Uwah… wait it really is me, deriving pleasure from this…

“Wha-” The whiny man realized his fate a split second before the stocky woman buried a hatchet into the bridge of his nose.

The gruff man faired slightly better, crouching down so the first hatchet missed. With a wave of his hand, he conjured a shield around his body that deflected the second flashing projectile. A fiery light began burning in his right hand-

From three trees away from where Indigo, Green, and I cowered, came a gleaming arrow. It slid through the Mana Shield and into gruff voice’s temple. His head jerked sideways, he swayed slightly, but then his body collapsed bonelessly.

Your Skill (Temp) Detect Danger has grown to Level 10(+2).

Head held high, a woman with fiery hair walked past our small hiding spot. I felt at least reassured that Indigo and Green remained completely still as she passed, despite triggering our innate hunger. Their instincts were at least reliable at spotting enemies that would kill them. And for the first time, I had to admit that being small had its advantages; we could hide behind even the most anemic of tree roots for cover.

Raccain just shook his head. “You remain insultingly blunt in your execution. At least my research-”

“The battle of your rescue was brutal. Not only were all of the dozens of assailants slain, but their base went up in flames,” The Paladin interrupted. He glanced at the blue-robbed wizard, his voice harsh. “Sweep the area. Allow nothing with even a whiff of necrotic energy to escape.”

Ahem. That’s our cue-

The wizard nodded and cupped his palms together. Mana concentrated there until it exploded into a burst of blue light. When the light faded, five birds comprised completely of energy hopped on his palms. They flew into the sky and began to circle the tower.

“Due to your immense weariness after prolonged captivity, you will need to return to Golden Ray's headquarters to recuperate.” The Paladin finished.

Raccain clenched his fists. “I will escape again. I always do. Can’t you see, our understanding of magic is so limited. Truly, if we simply open our eyes, it will be possible to even resurrect the dead! My mother-”

“How sad, Raccain is raving due to a severe lack of interaction during confinement.” The Paladin gestured. Two burly men in white robes walked forward and restrained Raccain. Next to me, Green began nudging me. I tried to ignore the touch and watched as other members of this part lit torches and tossed them onto the tower. Little by little-

“Chirp?”

I pivoted, finally looking at what made Green poke me. A bird of Mana had landed nearby. It cocked its head as it examined us. It took a few hops closer, while we Chimera Cores were frozen in place. It chirped again and its eyes began to glow red.

Your Skill (Temp) Detect Danger has grown to Level 10(+3).

My first instinct was to lash out. But it was still too far away, and its body of pure Mana would likely ignore damage just like our slime bodies would. However, if it alerted the wizard to our presence-

Fine then, take this. My finishing move!

I spread out my body and covered Indigo and Green. Once I had screened them completely, I unleashed… Mana Fart!

Your Skill (Earned) Inferior Body Manipulation has grown to Level 5.

The Mana floated up out of my slime and covered my body. After a few seconds of looking at the Mana, the red glow in the bird’s eyes faded. Just like my energy sonar being interfered with by the cage, the Mana hid… whatever nefarious might be animating us Chimera Cores. The bird chirped and flew away. As soon it was gone, I grabbed the tails of my companion and we raced through the barren ground around the burning tower.

Legitimately, I was quite scared. My Mana did not regenerate fast enough to be able to avoid another feathered narc.

All of my thoughts about a leisurely lifestyle had the implied premise of me being alive, so I threw all my energy into fleeing. Plus, my companions… ones I had somehow resolved to stay with no matter what, were just innocent monsters. They needed me. I had to be responsible.

The birds were one problem, but god forbid we be noticed by any random passing human, who might wonder why tiny balls of colored goop with monster body parts sticking out of them were rolling down the dirt path away from the sight of a location of known blasphemy.

I couldn’t decide if I was happy or sad when an explosion shook the ground, clearly originating in the tower behind us. Apparently, Raccain had left some gifts for the Paladin party. Human shouts swiftly followed, as well as the deep roar of a beast.

Thank you, brother. Your unholy sacrifice will be remembered.

Still, I was worried even with a distraction. Because of our small bodies, the speed of our fleeing was just too slow.  Even with an hour of hurrying away, our Chimera Core bodies might only have covered a mile or two. It was difficult to get a sense of scope, but when I pivoted around after ten minutes of fleeing, it didn’t seem like we had gone very far. Smoke billowed up from the wreckage of the tower, feeling very close.

And then we broke out of the bare trees and hit a river.

Ah, great System, please forgive all those times I’ve doubted you… yes, I have a cheat-like body, ahem, perhaps with some minor downsides, but a path has opened for survival…!

I found a piece of driftwood washed ashore and dragged my fellow Chimera Cores atop it. I poked a tentacle into the water, but our bodies didn’t dissolve in liquid or something insane. No, we were safe. Before shoving off, I removed three spider eggs from my snacksac and stuffed them into Green and Indigo.

We climbed aboard the S.S. Survival pushed off the shore. It took some paddling with my mongoose paw, but we drifted toward the center of the river and were caught in the current. Happily, we began to move away from the place of our birth. At a respectable clip, even.

While unsure at first, Green and Indigo soon grew excited about all the strange surroundings. Green enjoyed putting its tails into the water. Small minnows would swim up to investigate the trailing vestiges and Green happily plucked them out with a tentacle and devoured them. Indigo seemed to have developed vanity, because it stared at its own reflection, making faces with the two rat heads.

Ah, finally. Time to lay back and begin my leisurely reincarnated life… no stress, no worries… I wiggled around, getting comfortable on our wooden vessel. Gradually, my consciousness turned foggy. Mmm…. this is why people buy boats, I guess? A nap sounds quite pleasant right now…

I drifted off for a while. We escaped Raccain’s tower in the midmorning, and when I regained consciousness it was about sunset. I felt incredibly refreshed, but-

A loud rumble brought me whipping around. My eye swiveled. Directly ahead of our position, the river split into two. One went to the left, a wide, flat, lazy river. If I had drawn up the platonic ideal of a leisurely river life, it was this gentle waterway. It almost seemed sunnier in that direction. And to the right… the river twisted sharply away. From beyond the bend, water crashed against large stones, frothing and bursting in splash explosions.

Uh-

I straightened my body and gestured for the two fellow Chimera Cores. I mimed paddling, so we would head to the left and essentially ensure our lives, from now on, would be leisurely and relaxing. To my great relief, my two companions both understood and began using their tails to paddle.

However-

Their paddle directions were random. Each of us worked against one another. By the time I acknowledged I was surrounded by idiots, it was too late. Our tiny piece of driftwood was swept up in the cross current and raced toward the rapids.

In the end, it wasn’t as bad as I feared.

Ah, our boat did get smashed to smithereens going through the first bunch of rocks, but that was fine. I had been thinking as a human, who required a boat to thrive on rivers, but we were strangely buoyant Chimera Cores. We clung onto one another and floated without much difficulty.

RIP S.S. Survival, but you were only a crutch. We don’t need you.

Smashing against a rock? I am jello, such smashing is a pleasure.

Drowning while pulled under the water? Please, this just brings us closer to minnows we can devour as snacks.

Completely inundated with water until you are senseless and lose your direction? Well, whatever. We stared in a place filled with people who wanted to either experiment on us or kill us, so being whisked away from that place was actually a good thing.

Finally, this is it! I tumbled through the water, holding fast Indigo and Green. Even river rapids can be leisurely with the right mindset!

Perhaps this… could be the exalted life-as-meditation epiphany?!

We made it through the night, even as quite a bit of Anima was sucked out of each of us to support our body parts. My Anima dropped to 7, which was still quite enough to function and I appeared to be the smallest of us. We floated on for a few more hours as the intensity of the current mellowed. We bobbed around, a tri-color force of minnow annihilation, drifting through the water.

I popped up above the surface with my eyeball a few times and looked around. To my immense relief, I didn’t spot any human settlements. Or any pursuit, burning with the righteous fury of religious zealots. Plus, the environment had changed. We had been in forested plains before, but now we appeared to have been carried overnight to a sprawling wetland. The river broadened and split off everywhere into an interconnected maze of waterways. Reeds swayed softly in the wind.

I allowed us to drift for a while longer and we rolled into one of these offshoots. The water turned extremely sluggish as it passed through the serpentine roots of trees crouching over the water. Reaching up with a tentacle, I nudged us in a particular direction. Then, a day after we had almost been eradicated, we reached a muddy shore. I led the way onto land, with Green and Indigo crawling after me. To our left, a wide crescent of mud stretched out. I saw small crayfish, flies, and a dozen frogs observing our appearance without much trepidation.

Although, perhaps these fat bastards don’t need to worry about us much, I thought. The small frogs I figured we could handle, but the larger ones…

Three-Horned Swamp Frog Lvl 5

Four-Horned Bloat Toad Lvl 12

The Bloat Toads were almost as large as a watermelon, sitting happily in the mud while their smaller cousins splashed around in the shallows. Green gleefully began to approach, but I grabbed its tail and led it away for now. Let’s at least get the lay of the area before we antagonize the locals… but wait, what’s this bastard?

Really, it was shocking I hadn’t noticed this fellow earlier. A thin-legged bird crouched nearby with its head buried in mud. And thick mud too, almost as thick around its neck as its body. I could immediately sense it was a living being based on the hunger that emerged in me, but I felt bad for this stuck fellow. I walked up to him on tentacle legs and hardened my exterior. My claw settled around its thin shoulders and yanked as hard as I could.

Nothing happened.

Cheh, leisurely, but with some oomph…

I pulled again, but still nothing changed. Then I noticed that there were tightly drawn symbols on the ground around the chicken. Could this be… interspecies bullying? Perhaps untranslatable bird slurs? Gah, why does the language match but writing doesn't…

I eyed the possibly-racist frogs for a bit, then looked back down at the symbols. They overlapped and interlocked with each other, and made me dizzy to look at them. So much so that I just used my claw to scratch up the mud and ruin them. The next time when I put my tentacles around the chicken, planted my other tentacles in the mud, and put all of my effort into ripping him out.

With a great heave, I succeeded.

Then the two of us tumbled backward into more mud.

Green and Indigo thought this was a fun game. Or, well, Green did, and after it had truly pummeled Indigo with mud balls, our boneheaded companion got competitive and began to fight back with mud projectiles. They splashed happily after me, flinging mud in every direction. Truly, children. Meanwhile, I used my claw to crack the mud crusted around the chicken's face, ignoring the occasional projectile that smacked into my back. Eventually, the rescued being’s beak snapped open, revealing a tiny face and beady eyes.

Ah, not a chicken but a duck.

The duck considered me. Then it quacked in my face.

Weirdly, this one didn’t make me hungry. Just vaguely sad.

I patted its head, a generous stranger in a fantasy world. Okay, okay, shoo, shoo, go do duck things. Try not to stick your head in any more pretty mud.

Almost as though he heard me, the duck straightened and waddled away. With Green and Indigo entertained with their mudsport, I walked a little bit further away from the shore. There was a crest of ground, more reeds, but beyond that was a swamp. Flies buzzed above the swamp, so numerous I was surprised I hadn’t been able to hear them from the shore. I flicked a tentacle up and grabbed one.

You have successfully Absorbed Anima! Anima +1.

You have slain a Lvl 1 Rot Fly Swarmer!

Oho? Quite tasty. This body isn’t a picky eater at all…

My tentacles flicked out, over and over again. I happily chowed down until my Anima had returned to 20. In the process, I earned another Level in Absorb Anima, putting me at 7.

Satisfied, I oozed around the edge of the swamp. A tree had collapsed and rotted, most of its trunk sunk into the swamp’s depths. But the stump remained nearby and I examined it carefully. The front had been hollowed out by the elements, leaving a cool and shady space in the middle. If I wove together a roof of reeds, we would have a quaint little country home.

I used my claw to hack open a doorway and then walked through. I set down my spider egg sac in the corner. Some of the eggs were a bit waterlogged, but the spider silk had actually done quite well keeping water from the valuable cargo. I patted my body in pleasure.

Yes, definitely, this is the life I have always been searching for… A quiet country life without stress.