Chapter: 409 - We Will, I Will, I Won't (Patreon)

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Tala and Rane stopped atop a hill as soon as they came into sight of Marliweather.

It was nearing midday, two days after they had left Alefast.

The mining districts were still active, and still were marvelous to behold, out beyond even the farms.

It had been an uneventful trip.

They hadn’t pressed to be quick, but they hadn’t dawdled either.

Rane had been less experimental in his movements, simply getting the job done, moving quickly and efficiently to traverse the terrain.

Tala experimented a bit, but for the most part, she just kept near enough to him to keep an eye on him.

At least, that’s what she’d done the first day.

That night, he had been… less than pleased.

After a somewhat awkward—if tasty—dinner, he’d glanced her way and sighed, “Tala. Do you really have so little faith in me?”

She had balked at the accusation, even though it had been stated quietly, almost as if he was more resigned to the fact than hurt by it. “What?”

“You know what I mean. Let’s not pretend otherwise. You stayed within a few dozen yards of me all day.”

She had shrugged in response. She hadn’t tried to hide her actions. “And?”

“You never have on any trip before when we’ve traveled. So. Why do you no longer trust me?”

“I trust you. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Because I can’t be trusted to look after or defend myself.”

She had sighed. “Rane. You are still recovering. You are on this trip because of me. There are things in the wilds that could easily threaten either of us. I prefer to be able to easily face them together, if they come up.”

He’d seemed mollified for the moment, but they hadn’t talked much for the rest of that night.

They hadn’t talked much the following day either.

She stayed close at hand, and he’d resolutely avoided talking.

The arrival of night hadn’t changed the situation.

All morning until they crested a rise and saw Marliweather was equally frustrating, equally silent.

But as they looked down at the city from their little rise, Rane finally turned to her, “Do you want me to find diversion in the city? I don’t want to impose upon your time with your siblings.”

She huffed a laugh. “I invited you, Rane. It would be rather horrid of me to tell you to get lost for our time in Marliweather.”

He shrugged. “I don’t really mind. It’s not fun to travel alone, and I helped with that. Now, you’re here, and I’m superfluous. At best, I’ll distract you from your family, which would sort of defeat the purpose of this trip. Honestly, I don’t mind waiting in the wings until I’m needed again.”

She took a long moment. “Rane?”

He turned to face Marliweather once more. “Yeah?”

“What’s going on?”

He visibly swallowed. “I…”

Tala waited. She did so impatiently, but she did wait. He was being frustrating, but he was also going through a difficult time, and she wanted to be there for him.

Rane looked down and shook his head slowly.

She continued to wait.

“I can’t do it.” Rane was practically whispering. Even so, the words were laden with emotion.

She swallowed, but held her tongue.

“I can’t do the final session, Tala. Even if I was sure that it would be the final session. I can’t. I just… can’t…”

Tala could see tears running down his cheeks. She placed a hand on his shoulder, and he tensed momentarily before slumping, leaning her way.

“My path has been ended. I am broken, and I’m not going to ever be better. The best I can hope for at this point is to be a supporting character in your story, a footnote on your start to eternity.”

Tala squeezed lightly, feeling the terrible knots and tension in his muscles even with that simple action.

He took a deep breath and forced himself to straighten. “So, as a supporting character, I can wait in the wings until I’m needed.”

“Rane…” She honestly didn’t know what to say, but that worked out because he didn’t let her continue.

“I don’t want comfort right now, Tala. I don’t want you to try to convince me that I’m wrong. I don’t want to talk about it at all. Even without Refining, I’ve got at least hundreds of years. In fact, I’m young enough that I’ve likely a lot more. Maybe one day advancement will be open to me again.”

It sounded like he said the last more for her benefit than because he actually believed it.

He laughed self-deprecatingly. “I might find a true need to be Refined, something that can overpower my brokenness. A miracle…”

Tala’s voice was soft when she asked, “Why were you doing it up until now?”

He stiffened again, then sighed. “I suppose it doesn’t really matter now. There’s no reason not to tell you. I just didn’t want to be left behind.”

“So… now, you’re offering to let me leave you behind?”

He nodded slowly. “It’s the way of things. I’ve been broken. I’m a failure.”

Tala moved forward, wrapping her arms partly around the massive man. “Rane. I’m not going to ‘leave you behind.’ I’ve lived my adult life alone—what little of it I’ve actually lived—and I’m just barely starting to change that. Even so, I have so few relationships in this world, why would I leave one of my strongest ones behind?”

He leaned his head sideways, laying it against the top of hers.

They stayed like that for a long moment before she squeezed one last time and let go, stepping back. “I’m not leaving you anywhere so long as I can help it.”

He gave a half smile, tears still in his eyes as he wiped his face clear. “We’ll see.”

She nodded once. “Yeah, I suppose we will at that.”

* * *

Tala laughed with her sister as she threw Nea up into the air.

The little girl squealed with delight as Tala radically reduced her effective gravity so she could get higher and stay longer at the top of the toss.

This allowed Nea to almost float before she began to drift downward.

To be safe, Tala didn’t use very much force in the toss.

After all, she wanted Nea to be able to come down safely even if she didn’t catch her.

Tala had been very careful with her throw overall, keeping the girl oriented up and down and not allowing her to spin too much.

Still, her sister got a good view of the city from what would have otherwise been an entirely unsafe height.

Rane was a little ways off in the park, playing a version of tag with her four other younger siblings—Osip, Fedir, Olen, and Sella—as well as three of the older—Mirro, Akli, and Mita.

Terry was playing in the snow off to the side, occasionally giving Tala a grumpy stare.

She’d asked him to let the humans play for a bit before he came in and dominated their games.

He’d reluctantly agreed.

Still, what Rane and the siblings were playing wasn’t strictly tag because all of the children were ‘it,’ and all were working together to get Rane.

Rane was still winning.

His movements were quick and sure across the thick summer grass, beneath the late afternoon sun.

Still, everyone was laughing as the children were piling over each other in their mad scrambles after the big man. So, he was managing to keep his victory the good sort of winning.

It was the type of challenging play that inspired children to try harder, rather than making them feel like it was hopeless to even try, leading them to giving up.

Latna—Tala’s eldest sister—stood beside her as Tala waited to catch Nea when the little girl came back down.

“He’s great with kids.”

Tala looked toward Latna. “Hmm?”

“Master Rane. It seems like he’s pretty great with kids.”

Tala looked toward Rane unnecessarily. She could see him easily enough through her threefold sight. Still, it was expected. “I suppose so, yeah.”

Latna huffed before a small smile grew across her lips. “So, when are you going to tell us?”

Tala frowned then, glancing toward her sister. She kept her perception on Nea to be safe, but her mind was on Latna. “Tell you what? What is it that I’m supposed to be hiding?”

“That you’re betrothed.”

Tala felt her eye twitch. “I’m not.”

“Uh-huh. Right.”

“Really, Latna. I’m not; we’re not.”

Latna shrugged. “Fine, then. So, he’s available? I’d like to settle down with an Archon one day, and he’s a good one from what I can see. I might have to spend some more time with him.”

“What? Are you serious?” Tala jerked her head so she could look at her eldest sister, aghast.

The younger woman chuckled. “No, not really, but I knew that would get your attention.” Latna smiled even as a bit of power rippled down her body, clearly mastering her physical reactions.

She is learning quickly.

-She does have a good teacher, it seems.-

“Does this have to do with your aim of becoming a Mage?”

Latna smiled. “Somewhat, yeah. Even if that is still quite far off.”

“So…?” Tala was quite grateful for the change of topic.

She sighed. “I have at least four or five years of hard work ahead of me to achieve my certification as a Mage. It’s an odd thing to consider, but four or five years is hardly any time at all, even if I never achieve the rank of Archon.” She gave Tala a sideways glance. “Any interest in telling me what that entails?”

Tala huffed a laugh and shook her head. “Not a chance.”

“I thought not.”

Tala found that she was genuinely curious, so after a moment’s silence she asked, “Are you sure?”

“About becoming a Mage? Yes. About pursuing Master Rane? No, not at all. He is a good man.” Latna moved her head to indicate the playing group. “Unfortunately, he isn’t really on a path I’d be interested in walking.”

Tala gave her sister a flat look, not amused. “What path would that be?”

Latna raised one eyebrow. “Violence, of course. Fighting to bring down the enemies of humanity. I prefer Master Leighis's approach, healing the injured, keeping the Mages and mundanes going as best as we can.”

That was a bit oversimplified of a view of what they did, but it was true enough. Tala and Rane were on a violent path, assuming Rane didn’t step away from that responsibility, too.

Alat grunted within Tala’s head but didn’t say anything.

Tala helped Nea land, the girl giggling and laughing. “Again!”

Tala smiled, making sure her sister’s foot didn’t touch the ground and break that working. Then, she braced and repeated the process, sending Nea flying up once more with a controlled, powerful shove.

She watched long enough to make sure that Nea was moving as expected, before turning back to Latna. “Rane and I are just friends.”

“Oh, I’m aware that you aren’t married, betrothed, or courting. Everyone is aware of that.” She gave Tala a meaningful look. “I was talking about whether or not I would pursue him, given the fact that you aren’t.”

Tala closed her eyes and counted to ten… slowly. “Please, Latna? Can you be serious for a moment?”

Her sister shrugged. “I am being serious. Master Rane would be a fantastic catch. Someone will take him as husband sooner rather than later.” Latna gave Tala a meaningful look. “That’s what I’m asking about.”

Tala didn’t understand what that meaning was supposed to be, so she just frowned. “So…?”

“So, when are you going to tell us that you’ve opened your eyes and that the two of you are betrothed.”

Tala huffed a laugh. “You’re incorrigible.”

Her sister shrugged. “We need more people. Humanity as a whole is beating back the wilds, conquering our little part of the world. It’s reasonable to ask.”

“Like asking me when I’m going to eat next?”

She grinned, then shrugged again. “In essence, yes. Everyone marries eventually.”

That made Tala frown. Was that true? She knew that she’d believed that when she was younger, but she’d honestly not thought much about it recently.

-Essentially, yes. While it doesn’t seem to be that way for humans in the arcane lands, the statistical analysis is a little deceptive.-

How so?

-Well, I could say that everyone either marries, or dies before they could get married.-

Tala smiled internally at that. Ahh, I see. So, it’s a truth, but an almost trivial truth.

-Yes, but even so, the vast majority of people who survive to their thirties get married. It is to the point that it’s noticeably odd if a mundane reaches thirty and isn’t married. For Mages, that age of ‘so many it’s essentially everyone’ seems to be closer to sixty.-

What about Archons? Tala hesitated. Wait… I know that one already. Most people don’t become Archons until their sixties or even later.

-Yup, you got it in one.-

Fascinating.

-So it seems. Humanity advances more efficiently as a group, and that seems to translate down to the smaller scale too. Couples are better at advancing, in general, than individuals… Well, that’s a retrospective look. A ready explanation could be that those who end up married at one point in their life have a higher chance of reaching the upper ranks than those who never marry.-

Huh… She’d noticed that most everyone she knew at her advancement level or higher either was married or had been married.

-Yes, you are the odd one.-

Wait… Master Jevin?

-Yes, he is the most notable exception. I cannot find public record of anyone advancing to Paragon or beyond without being married at one point or another, save him. Though, to be fair, most of those Paragon and beyond are reclusive enough that we might not know it. Suffice it to say, the vast majority of Archons marry before becoming too old or advanced. The ones that don't would most likely tend to be hermits, married to their work.-

Mistress Noelle.

-Possibly.-

Master Nadro?

-He was married in the distant past. You know that. He’s talked about his children.-

Right. I wasn’t thinking.

-It’s fine. That’s why I’m here. Please don’t misunderstand. Many Paragons are not married, not now.-

Tala almost asked how that could be, but the answer struck her just as quickly. Many have married and their spouse is dead.

-Yes.-

So. We are a broken race, ruled and guarded by broken people.

-One and all. Maybe you should make your eternal goal to fix that?-

Tala snorted a scoffing laugh then turned her attention back to Latna, her smile fading a bit, “Honestly… I don’t know. I’m… I’m going to live a long time now.”

“All the more reason to have your kids and get on to the grandkids.” Latna grinned. “Longer lived just means longer to enjoy the best parts of life. For you, if that’s having a baby, then spread out your kids, have one a decade for… as long as you want, really. If it’s grandkids? Have a passel of kids and get them raised quick. The grandkids will come faster then. If it’s nothing to do with kids? Then have them early and move on.”

Tala huffed. That was the drum beat of their culture, of their civilization. It was the only reason why gated humanity was scrambling a growing population out of the constant death. Latna wasn’t saying anything that both of them hadn’t heard a dozen times.

She wasn’t even saying anything that Tala strictly disagreed with. Tala wanted children. She always had really, but at the moment, she felt like she liked the idea of children far more than she’d like the actuality.

Latna seemed to actually be considering, though, so Tala didn’t respond.

Finally, Tala’s sister gave a slow nod. “I suppose it doesn’t matter as much for a Mage, does it? There certainly isn’t a rush age-wise for you, and there likely won’t be for me. But you're still on a clock, Tala, even if not a biological one.”

Tala felt herself smile. “This I have to hear.”

Latna was smiling. “As impressive as you are—and now that I’ve seen some of your Defender fights I will admit that you are impressive—you won’t live forever. No human ever has.”

Tala blinked a few times. “You’ve seen my fights?”

“Of course. Master Leighis believes it’s good for Mages in training to understand the realities of the world we’re stepping into.”

She grunted at that. “I suppose so. Regardless. Right now? I feel like I do more to make our world better where I am.”

“I hear you, and I don’t disagree, but don’t forget one important thing.”

“Do tell.” Tala found herself smiling.

“What’s the point if we don’t have a next generation to hand all of this down to?” She looked at her siblings. “I can say that that’s one of the best things our parents did. I can’t imagine life without all the little ones.”

“There’s no argument from me, there.” She sighed. “I think you're approaching this with a false assumption, Latna?”

“Oh?”

“I want kids. I always have, really. I haven’t wanted to give birth to them in that moment, but I’ve always seen myself as having kids, eventually.” She shrugged. “It would be hard to not consider them. You and our siblings were among the best parts of growing up. Our father was amazing before… but it was still you all that made home… home.”

Latna smiled. “So? Why not him? Do you think someone better is going to come along?”

Tala sighed, letting her threefold sight move back toward Rane. “It's not that, Latna.”

“Marriage just isn’t for you? Some few people feel that way, I suppose.”

Tala grimaced at that. “It’s not that either.”

The younger woman turned to Tala, an eyebrow raised. “Then what is it?”

Tala’s grimace grew.

Latna sighed. “I’m not telling you to go marry Master Rane and get pregnant tonight, Tala. I’m telling you to look around you. Find what needs doing. Find joy doing what needs to be done. Find companionship. Find a partner. Grow together. Become better together.”

Tala felt herself smiling at the clear platitudes that the girl was spouting.

Latna grinned in turn. “Sure, it’s trite, and ‘common wisdom,’ but doesn’t that make it more true, not less?” She reached out and placed her hand on Tala’s shoulder. “I know I’m your little sister, and you probably don’t have any interest in hearing any of this from anyone, let alone me. I’m worried about you, Tala. It was Master Rane who told us about your disappearance, and who told us not write you off as dead. I know he did something, even if I have no idea what. He had that look in his eyes. Like a healer who sees a patient that they know they can save.”

“You’re right. I’m really not interested in hearing this…” Still, she sighed. “It is common wisdom for a reason. It is worth considering, even if it isn’t true in every case.”

Latna held up a finger and gave a mischievous smile. “A fool finds a fence, sees no purpose, and tears it down. A wise woman finds a fence, sees no purpose, and leaves it be until she understands what it was meant to do.”

“And that was supposed to mean…?”

Latna shrugged. “I’ve never ‘found’ a fence, myself, so it likely doesn’t apply.”

They both laughed at the ridiculousness of that.

Nea landed beside them with a little oof. “Hey! You didn’t catch me.”

Tala turned to her, a broad grin back on her lips. “And you’re fine.”

The little girl growled and tried to tackle Tala, to no avail.

Latna spoke softly one last time, “I’m glad that you are considering children, Tala, even if they’ll come far in the future. You always have been a motherly one, and good at it, too. Humanity would have been worse off if you never let that part of you shine.”

Tala smiled. “That is kind of you to say.”

Latna waved and turned to walk away. After a few paces, she hesitated and glanced back to say one last thing, “Sometimes we cannot see the value of what is before us until it is gone.” Her eyes flicked toward Rane once more before she gave a parting smile. “Think on it, at least. Please?”

Tala didn’t think that she was ready, and Rane said that he was fine as they were. She didn’t think her own thoughts on the matter had changed.

Have they changed?

She wasn’t a new Mage, flailing for any scrap of control over her own life. She had a large amount of authority, and she was essentially beholden to no one. Maybe…

After a long moment, Tala nodded. “I will.”

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