Chapter: 245 - Despair (Patreon)

<Contains content which may be considered grimdark>
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Tala’s world was filled with a buzzing that was as much visual as auditory.

She vaguely felt Alat guiding her in her choice of words and actions, briefly expressing shock that she wouldn’t be allowed to protect Pillar Be-thric on the venture and requesting time to process the news.

It was granted, and Tala retreated into her sanctum.

No…

No.

No.

No…

This can’t be happening.

That was my way out. My way home.

No.

No.

No.

-Tala?-

No.

No.

No.

-Tala.-

No. No, no.

-Tala!-

Tala snapped her head up, looking around in confusion, trying to find the person who had dared interrupt her. “What?”

-Tala. Pull yourself together. I’m in your mind.-

She groaned, lowering her head back down onto her knees.

In her brief moment of outward examination, she saw that she was sitting on her bed, curled up beside the massive window, and the sun was setting. She’d either been there for an hour or so, or more than a day.

-Just an hour. You’re not that far gone.-

I’m nearly a thousand miles gone. Tala snapped back, desperation and fear tingeing her response

-So? What now?-

Now? I adjust to a life in a gilded cage, bowing and scraping to a monster who stole everything from me in a fit of childish stubbornness.

-Sure, you could do that. Or…?- Alat left it hanging, the unanswered question grating on Tala.

Or? Or! I can’t do anything! She paused. I can’t do anything.

-Yeah, you said that. I don’t think that—-

No, no. You aren’t listening. I can’t do anything. But the Pillars could be convinced. She sat up, taking her overwhelming despair and pushing it aside.

It was not overcome. It was not banished, but the flickers of hope kept it from suffocating her once again.

I need to speak to Meallain. I’m out of my depth, here, and she might know what we can do.

She called up some water and ensured her face was clean and clear. She used her mirrored perspectives to check her physical state and fixed what was awry.

“Thanks, Kit.”

The source of water did not respond.

Tala straightened herself, hardened her resolve, and summoned the exit to her sanctum.

Tala would have a feast awaiting her return in her own sanctum, so she would be fast.

It was easy to find Meallain once Tala was back in the House of Blood’s hold. She was in her office of sorts, dealing with petitions of one kind or other.

The elf looked up from her writing desk as Tala entered. “Ahh, Eskau Tali. What brings you here this evening? Are you well?”

Tala shook her head. “Honestly, no, Eskau Meallain, I’m not doing well. I am to let Pillar Be-thric go into hostile territory, alone. This goes against everything I have worked for, everything I am.”

The truth and fervor of Tala’s words thrummed through the room, though that truth was not as the elf would interpret.

“I will not stand idly by while he goes on such a mission. I should be with him. It is my duty. It is required.”

Meallain gave her a sad smile and nodded. “I can understand the sentiment, truly I can, but the council has spoken. There is nothing you can do about it, without their permission.”

“Then, how can I change the ruling? How can I gain their permission?” She spoke firmly, resolved in her goal.

“What do you mean?”

“It is my duty to be beside Pillar Be-thric. If I cannot accompany him on this mission, I don’t know what I will do.” Her voice and demeanor wavered on the edge of cracking as she spoke the last. Still, she hardened herself and continued, “Is there anything that I could do to sufficiently impress the other Pillars, that they might change their minds? Is there anything that I can do to convince them? Anything.”

Meallain looked troubled by that. “While I commend your fervor, especially with regard to little Be, the word of the council is sacrosanct. It is not for us to question or seek to change.”

“I’m not seeking to force a change. I am seeking for them to make a change, and I just want to know what I can do to make that attempt. Surely such has happened before.”

“Well…yes. The council does occasionally alter its rulings on an issue.”

“That is what I seek. How can I attempt to accomplish that?”

“You can’t, Eskau Tali. The conclave has come to an end, the decision has been made and the Pillars are already on to other business. None have departed, but the motion is closed. Only a member of the deciding council could bring it back up, and none would be open to discussing their decision with you. They might even penalize you, or Be, if you tried. Please, don’t let your ardor make things worse.”

Tala closed her eyes and groaned quietly, flopping into a nearby chair. That’s a dead end then.

-What next?-

If I can’t change the council’s decision, there must be ways of going around the council’s decision. Things have to be flexible under certain circumstances, else the House would have fallen due to unforeseen happenings.

-And if that doesn’t work?-

Tala grit her teeth. Then, I can ask Be-thric if he can put any pressure on the others. He said he tried before, but maybe he can try again.

-That sounds like an unpleasant option.-

Hence, why it’s the last one I’d choose.

-Fair enough.-

“Tali?”

Tala’s eyes snapped open, and she beheld Meallain’s concerned expression. The elf had set her paperwork aside, and was turned fully towards Tala.

“Are you alright?”

Tala shook her head. “Honestly, no. I…I don’t know how to handle this result, this decision. I never even considered the possibility, if I’m being honest.”

“How is your head? Do you feel…like yourself?”

She frowned. “What? Of course, I do.” What is she—oh. Tala barely kept from reacting. She knows about the mind alteration. She’s concerned that this is threatening the integrity of my false mind.

-That’s an interesting angle. But I believe that if we suggest that to Be-thric, he’s more likely to try to ‘fix’ us than to work towards a change in the decision.-

Yeah, we should nip that in the bud. “I am just frustrated that I won’t be allowed to do my job.”

The elf seemed to examine her closely, leaning forward just a bit. Finally, she smiled, nodding to herself as she leaned back. “That is laudable, Tali. It truly is. I wish I had better options for you.”

“I appreciate your time, regardless. I apologize for bothering you unnecessarily.” Tala stood and bowed.

“It was no bother at all. It is my pleasure to help younger Eskau.”

“Until tomorrow, Eskau Meallain.”

“Until tomorrow.”

Tala returned to her sanctum and to dinner.

She was still shaken, teetering on the edge of emotional collapse, but she actually had some ideas on how she could proceed.

-We really did stake our hopes on this mission, didn’t we.-

You think?

-Yeah. A back-up plan would have been wise.-

I’ll remember that for the next time we’re kidnapped.

-You better.-

She was careful to keep her emotions hidden and to thank the chefs profusely for each course, even though she barely tasted the food. Can’t let them see…

When they were finished for the night, well after dinnertime for less voracious eaters, they left her with a huge pile of extras.

Tala called the exit into the kitchen so they could leave more easily, and thanked them once again.

Then, in silence and isolation, Tala ate, not really tasting the food, and contemplated what was to come.

*      *      *

Tala woke early the next morning, having stayed up well into the night the night before thinking and restoring her reserves.

She moved through her morning routine with unthinking efficiency, only pausing at a prearranged time to allow the chefs direct access to her kitchen once again.

She stretched and exercised physically, magically, and spiritually.

As the chefs had arrived early, they had time to make rather more complex creations than she had expected.

Thus, after her bath and refreshment of her inscriptions and iron paint, Tala was able to enjoy baked eggs and bacon nestled within many layered pastries.

Though, for some reason, they didn’t taste quite a good as she’d have expected. It’s fine. I’m sure it’s just me.

She was also provided with a wonderfully dark tea, mixed with near-caramelized milk. This, this is what I needed…right?

Alongside the savory repast, a large spread of fruits and berries provided by her sanctum were laid out for her. A well balanced breakfast. Yeah, this will help.

The food and beverage combination was an ideal way to greet the day, and so Tala did just that, watching the sun rise upon her own private sanctum.

The chefs, having done all the requisite work quite early, were ready to depart to let her eat in peace. “Pardon, Eskau Tali.”

“Hmm?”

“Would you be able to summon the exit for us?”

“Oh!” She was grateful for her iron paint, which covered her blush of embarrassment. “Of course, yes.”

She called the door out, and the chefs departed.

“Thank you!” She called out after them, as the door closed. “Smooth…really smooth.”

WIth a sigh and a self-reproaching shake of her head, she turned back to her breakfast.

As she contemplated her situation, she decided that she felt much better after a night’s sleep, which for her was only a couple of hours.

She was still a hair’s breadth from panicking, but that hair was much sturdier, now.

I can do this. I can find another way home.

-That’s the spirit! Enjoy your slavery pastries and dreams of freedom.-

Tala looked down at her breakfast, then rolled her eyes, shaking her head. Sometimes, I hate you.

Even so, a smile was pulling at her lips.

You are really, really odd sometimes.

-Oh, I know. I feel like its because of our divergent natures. What seems an obvious solution to me, makes no sense to you, and vise versa. Thus, what I feel is a perfectly good joke elicits an ‘I hate you’ rather than laughter.-

Tala took a long draft of her dark tea, choosing to change the subject rather than address such an esoteric topic at the moment. This is so good. It reminds me of coffee, in a way.

-Yeah, I was going to ask you about that. Is it really wise to take up a drink that so closely resembles your previous addiction?-

Tala shrugged, taking another long pull. Probably not.

-Ahh, comedy gold. I see it now. You truly are the joke master of this mind.-

She found herself smiling. I am glad you’re with me, Alat. If I’d been alone…

-Yeah…-

If I’d been alone, I’d never have been at all. This body would belong to Tali, and Tala—I—would be gone forever, worse than dead. My flesh and soul to be puppeted by a sycophantic murder slave.

-That…that sounds like the title to a fun book.-

What? Sycophantic murder slave?

-Yeah.-

Seems really one note. I feel like it wouldn’t be that interesting for very long.

-Probably true. Though, the title would be to draw people in. There’d have to be nuance within the pages.-

Yeah, but Tali didn’t really have nuance. She had a veneer of personality over pure utility.

-True enough. Tali is…she isn’t a complete person, not really.-

Speaking of our own little sycophantic murder slave: We might need her in the coming days.

-I assumed as much. I’ve finished restructuring her memories to remove inconsistencies and level out her mind. It isn’t perfect, but I assume you aren’t planning on turning over control for extended periods?-

Not too long, no, but I do want her to be coherent when she is in charge.

-Then, perfect. We’re good to go.-

Thank you. Tala munched into another pastry, kept magically hot on a plate provided by the House of Blood chefs. I am getting spoiled in so many ways, aren’t I?

-I find it better to avoid pointing such things out to you…but yes.-

Tala snorted a laugh, turning her attention back to the stunning vista arrayed before her. Take joy where it can be found.

-And conquer sorrow as it comes.-

It was going to be a busy day, but she still had a couple of hours. Siege orbs?

-Siege orbs-

They weren’t as convenient as the tungsten because their greater mass meant they dragged on her if she had them outside of Kit.

Wait a moment… Her eyes widened, then she started laughing. Oh, I’ve missed an obvious application, haven’t I?

-That… that’s pretty interesting, actually.-

I’ll make siege orbs later.

Less than five minutes later, she found Thron reading a book in one of the gardens of her sanctum.

“Tali! Good morning to you.” He seemed a bit tentative in his greeting, as if trying to gauge her mood.

Why? Oh… She felt herself sadden. No. I am moving forward. “Thorn, I have a commission I want you to work on for me.”

“Oh?” He perked up, seeming to have noticed her momentary dip in mood but not focusing on it.

“What is the strongest, most durable metal we have available?”

“Honestly? The white metal from the guild-hold.”

Tala blinked a few times. “Wow… I didn’t think of that, and I should have.” She chuckled, shaking her head.

Alat started laughing. -I didn’t think of that either.-

Thron frowned. “Tali? Is everything okay?”

“Well, no, but I think what I want will be easier than I’d hoped.” She grinned. “Thank you for pointing out the obvious!”

He grinned back at her. “I am happy to assist.”

Tala gave a little wave, then willed herself down into the underbelly of her sanctum.

Io’s body was nearly finished growing, and the purple tank filled the space with a marbled, ever shifting light. Thankfully, the automaton body hadn’t moved or shown any impetus to do so.

“I’m not here for you. Not yet.” She patted the side of the tank distractedly.

Tala called one of the ingots of white metal to her and pushed her will and power into the material to begin reshaping it.

I need to deal with the armor recovered from the drake at some point. It seemed that Kit had consumed the reality drake, and her limbs oddly enough, but left the white metal for her to recover. She just needed to reshape it. Another time.

Tala focused on the ingot in her hands and formed it into a bar with a nearly triangular cross-section, but with two sides bowed outward.

More than anything, it looked like a stupidly thick scale.

That is, in fact, exactly what it was.

With an act of will and power, Tala shaved off one scale, barely a fifth of an inch thick.

-I think that’s a bit too thick, given the strength of this material.-

Tala grimaced. “You’re probably right.”

With a sigh, she slumped just a bit. Another failure…

-Hey, now. Not a failure at all. Nothing’s broken, nothing's done.-

Tala hesitated, collecting herself to a degree.

“You know. We’re going to be using this against really powerful opponents. This is a bit thicker than what my elk-leathers had covering me.”

-Would a bit more thickness actually help?-

“That’s…fair.” She sighed. “I can probably get these impressed with durability or defensive magics, but not here, not now. Plus, that would be a bit frustrating to maintain.”

-Let’s try the base premise of your idea before we over complicate it. I think about a tenth of an inch should be plenty thick, honestly.-

Tala shrugged, recombining the metal before severing a thinner scale.

She held the scale up to the bottom of her tunic and began amplifying the gravity of the scale towards that section of leather. It wasn’t fast, but it did work.

After just a couple of minutes, she was able to remove her hand and the scale stayed in place. She would ramp it up further, and while she did that, her hands were free.

I have more capacity than this.

She severed a few more scales, having to remake one or two because of her still distracted mind, and began amplifying them all, carefully placing each.

-It looks like it’s working.-

Tala found herself grinning. Yes. Yes, it does.

Two hours later, she had covered most of the front of her top with small white scales.

She peeled off the vest she’d formed of elk-leather and broke the leather’s connection to her outfit. That will now be a good base for the scales that I can doff and done at need.

The scales clattered to the floor, and Tala let out a yelp of surprise.

She covered her mouth and closed her eyes. Get it together, Tala.

Tala shook her head, banishing the tears from her eyes before they could start to gather.

-Tala?-

I’m okay. Just give me a moment.

After a deep breath, she lowered her hand, opened her eyes, and stared down at the pile, regarding the mess before her. Then, she groaned. “Oh, that was foolish of me. I just substantially changed the nature of their ‘target.’”

-Well, at least you have a place to work from, now. You proved the premise.-

That I do.

As each of the scales would be gravitationally attracted to a single, discrete part of the leather, they wouldn’t press on her, nor harm the leather, but they would contain the amplified gravity she needed for a quick re-targetting and attack.

Rather than running around with a couple of dozen orbs affixed to her clothing, she would have a hauberk of scale-mail, ready for each scale to be a deadly projectile.

If I don’t make another foolish mistake. She sighed. She didn’t have time to start again. Not right then.

She had an appointment to keep with Be-thric.

I’m going to need your help, Alat. I don’t want to be near him right now. He was a means of escape, but now he’s just the source of my captivity, no matter how opulent.

-I’m here, Tala. I’m not going anywhere.-

Tala took a few long breaths. It probably would have been wise to take some time to level myself earlier, eh?

-Probably, but you’re coping pretty well, honestly.-

She snorted a laugh.

She didn’t want to go, not now.

Be-thric was going to negotiate with one of the few other major Houses in the city for a protian weapon, and the presence of his Eskau was critical for proper presentation.

I’m a symbol of power for my kidnappers. I am the mighty right hand of the one who tried to take everything I am.

-And you will smack him down with that power soon enough.-

Tala took another deep breath, nodding. I will watch for an opening. With the collar in place, I don’t foresee one coming, but my eyes will be open. We will find a way to be free.

-That’s right we will.-

No one will keep me, no one will dictate my future but me.

She felt her back straighten, her stance solidify, and her head lift.

She knew it was a hollow confidence, born more of desperation than certainty, but she didn’t care. She would find a way to fill the void and concoct a remedy to this disaster.

Alright. Let’s do this.

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