Euphemism Theat-AARRRRR (Patreon)

The 100 Things you can say in a job interview that you can also say while playing arousing game of Captain LeFuck:

You may also not want to say them when your a pirate, but that's for you to decide....

1. Sorry I came early.
2. I have a lot of experience in similar positions.
3. Do you have any other openings I can fill?
4. I'm flexible and am open to working in different positions.
5. I'm a very hands-on person.
6. I'm really anal when it comes to details.
7. I'm happy to start from the bottom and work my way up.
8. I always come on time.
9. I'm willing to try new things.
10. Will I be working alone or with others?
11. How many people will I have under me?
12. I think I am more than capable of filling in the hole left by the last person.
13. Will the job require a lot of heavy lifting?
14. I think I'll fit in well.
15. Thank you for coming.
16. I will put in the effort and bend over backwards to make sure that every customer walksaway satisfied.
17. I would love the opportunity to be under you.
18. I enjoy a hands-on approach.
19. I look forward to being on your staff.
20. I don't mind working in group settings.
21. I have the experience and endurance to get through sticky situations.
22. You're going to have to pay more than that if you expect me to do what you're asking.
23. I'm flexible and willing to learn.
24. I'll be the best you've ever had.
25. Stacy from Accounting will be joining us.
26. What I lack in experience I will make up in enthusiasm.
27. I'm glad I can finally use the skills I learned in college.
28. How many positions are you looking to fill?
29. I'm really more of a back-end person, but I'd be willing to do front-end work if there's agap in that area.
30. I'm sorry; I'm pretty nervous.
31. First time? Don't worry; it'll get better.
32. I've been waiting for an opening like this.
33. I heard you were looking for two people for this position.
34. Should we start or are we waiting for someone?

35. I hope I'm not overdressed.

1. We'll have to make this quick because I have another appointment in 20 minutes.
2. I really don't want to blow this.
3. Is this being recorded?
4. Sorry, I was on mute.
5. I'm a people pleaser.
6. When can I start?

42. I'm willing to pull an all-nighter to get the job done right.
43. My previous experience left a bad taste in my mouth.
44. I have a long list of references who can attest to my performance capabilities. 45. I appreciate you keeping this under 10 minutes.
46. I hope to hear back from you soon.
47. Is everyone in attendance?
48. This is far shorter than expected.
49. I always keep going until I finish.
50. My main strength is getting the job done quickly.
51. I can do long hours and late nights.
52. I once took on a team of 50 guys. They were all successful in the end.
53. I'm eager to get my hands dirty.
54. Do you allow parking in the rear?
55. The pleasure was all mine.
56. Will the pay be based on my performance?
57. Let's start with a joke.
58. I assure you; I will come out on top.
59. I'm good at inserting myself where needed.
60. I'm ready to dive right in.
61. Looks like we're all done here.
62. Come again?
63. Yes, I'm an experienced box packer.
64. This won't take too much of your time.
65. What's the turnover like here?
66. All my skills are self-taught.
67. I didn't realize we'd be observed.
68. I'm desperate. I really need this.
69. This job seems really fun.
70. I'm afraid I may not fit in here.
71. I'd do anything to pay the bills.
72. I'm great on my feet for hours at a time.
73. I'll take it.
74. I won't take no for an answer.
75. Sorry I'm late.
76. I'll try harder next time.
77. How's your insurance policy?
78. It might take awhile to find my rhythm.
79. Can you elaborate on the benefits package?
80. What are your expectations?
81. Do you mind if I sit here?
82. I've lost all my confidence.
83. Typically, how hard is it?
84. I'm a self-starter who can rose to the occasion.
85. Thank you, Sir!

86. I won't disappoint you.
87. I've been described as an overachiever.
88. What attracted you to this position?
89. Let's do a quick role play.
90. Am I in the right place?
91. Let's dig deeper into that.
92. You will be pleased with my work.
93. What does success look like in this position? 94. I'm sure I'll last longer than my predecessor. 95. I definitely enjoy doing that.
96. I want to explore my options.
97. Thank you for squeezing me in.
98. Let's shake on it.
99. This is where I want to be.
100. Is there room for growth?