Were Wolf Wednesday (Patreon)

How to make the enemy team hate you 101

Over the last few days, my clan and myself have grown a little tired of the same old rinse and repeat of crucible. It's been double xp and iron banner and we got all of our bounties and worked tirelessly to grind all the double xp we could. As you can guess, we used the usual suspects in every single loadout.

Kinetic: Bygones/Outbreak/Ace/DRB/BotF

Energy: Recluse/Luna's/Last Perdition

Heavy: Hammerhead/Wardcliff

Towards last night we realized, "Well now that we've pissed people off by constantly being a 4-5-6 stack of players not necessarily sweating, but just using good guns, what can we do to fuck around with some people?"

And thus we began to receive such an enormous influx of hate messages over the next few match made games that you would have though we'd nerfed someones favorite heavy sniper.

First game thought: "Hey so what if we all just used catapult jump and hip-fired skyburners oath?"

First game execution: Literally what the thought is.

We had 6 people running Skyburner's Oath, not a single one really going for captures, but more so all of us in a pack jumping around and non-stop firing. We lost this one, but there was definitely a rapid amount of tea-bagging taking place from the other team. I think that match made us realize that we could really piss some people off here.

Loadout Grade: 4/10 - maybe would be better with lion rampants (according to aztecross gaming)

Second game thought: "What's something that we could melt people with and they wouldn't know what it is?

Second game execution: All of us equipped Cerberus+1, fun fact about Cerberus+1: You couldn't shoot the broad side of a barn from 50 feet away, but you could sculpt the Sistine Chapel from hand with in a 10 ft radius if you have good enough aim.

So we all ran traction perks, raised our mobility to what we could, most of us ran one-eyed (I cant recall this too much) and we frivolously executed order 66 dispatched of the enemy team. This game was probably one of the more annoying for the enemy team because I am 100% certain they had absolutely no clue what the fuck just hit them. Shotgun Apes coward in corners, snipers never got an angle and Luna's Howl users were refreshing Bungie's twitter to see if the update got installed two weeks too early.

Cerberus+1 will melt your face and bring shame to your family lineage if you use this gun in the pack. It's the Rat King's father. This match was comprised of 6 people laughing like fucking hyenas and another 6 people sending our team messages asking how we are doing this. I think this game didn't make people as mad as it did just flat out confuse them.

Loadout Grade: 9/10 (not good on rangy maps, great on small ones)

Third game thought: "What's the last thing people would expect to go up against?"

Third game execution: 6 people - 6 prometheus lens

This one is like the 2013 Brooklyn Nets of loadouts. Unbelievably great looking on paper. Horrible execution. You definitely need to think this one through if you ever consider running it because if you have the right armor perks, I think you could really fuck a team up. If you have anything that grants fusion rifle ammo and reserves on your armor, you can probably convince the world of Global Warming in one crucible match. However, if you do not, you will very quickly run out of ammo and immediately regret this load out.

It was very fun to run this at first because we all skipped to B, and so did the enemy team, and you would've thought a fucking solar flair hit the enemy team with how quickly they were all vaporized. However, if you are not traveling in a pack, you will run out of ammo and die. Repeatedly.

Loadout Grade: 3/10 (with better perks, this grade rises)

Fourth game thought: "I'm tired of running around in a pack"

Fourth game execution: Sweet Business - Rally Barricade - Empowering Rift

I'm not going to lie, you will absolutely accomplish nothing with this loadout in any objective based game-type. As well, if anyone on the enemy team has Blade Barrage or Nova Bomb, you will need an immediate exit plan. If you have any evasive, mobile armor on, this is not the load out for you.

All this being said: The enemy never got a fucking chance to cap C on Meltdown. You set up in the right area and have your Sweet Business's with catalysts ready, you will have all corners on lockdown. We had some stupid deaths on this one and we lost mainly because we never left C, but by god it felt like some WW1 trench warfare because getting even with in 10 feet of C had to feel like a victory for the enemy team.

They may have won the battle, but they also won the war. But I mean we annoyed them and got a moral victory, so who's the real champ here?

Loadout Grade: 7/10 (really gimmicky, you won't win a game, but you will have deserved to)

Fifth Game thought: "when's the last time any of you guys used Fighting Lion?"

Fifth Game execution: Militia's Birthright/Fighting Lion

"Fun isn't something one considers when going into the crucible, but this... this does put a smile on my face."

This one was just stupid. Fun, but stupid. Surprisingly effective too. We won this one, but the other team caught on to what we were doing and we had some people fighting us with grenade launchers as well. I think Shaxx would have been proud.

I will say that your shot with other weapons will not get better by using this loadout. I had to readjust to not aiming at people's bodies and feet in the next match. This is a great loadout for that one map on Nessus with the rotundra in the middle, the name is escaping me right now. You could really piss people off around corners.

Loadout Grade: 8/10 (sheer fun alone, potentially could be a good loadout if you're talented with GL's)

Sixth game thought: "What's the absolute worst thing you'd want to see on an enemy team?"

Sixth game loadout: Jotunn's. Jotunn's everywhere.

I am disgusted with myself for this one. Do not ever run this. You will win by a landslide, but at what cost? I had to call my dad after this match and apologize to him for all the times I've disappointed him. I got to a point where I started apologizing to the hate messages I received. And no point in this match did I ever feel accomplished.

Loadout Grade: A reluctant 10/10