A Goblin's Pendant (Patreon)

“Woe is me! Such terrible misfortune! That the outrageous and egregious vagaries of fate should conspire to rid me of my freedom in such a base and humiliating way to such an odious creature is beyond all parody. Woe is me!”

Sir Uldred held his head in his hands as he rattled the bars of his cage and tried to keep the contents of his stomach down. He had been swinging in the confines of this prison for nearly ten minutes, and the humiliation of his fate had reduced him to a state of utter despair.

“I am a proud and noble man!” wailed the proud man, “It is not within the natural order of things for me to be enslaved to such a lowly monster.” He was thrown from his feet briefly as his world was rocked by the buffeting of one immense green boob. The right one sent his delicate prison swinging into the left one as he was jostled in the almighty cleavage. 

His fate was indeed a terrible one. This knight and lord of men had found himself imprisoned in a cage hung from the necklace of a gigantic goblin. Gigantic to him anyway. The goblin was around five feet tall, and Sir Uldred had been shrunk to the size of a bug.

“I am to be enslaved to this beast, who I’m sure will use me for her most despicable carnal desires! Without chance of rescue I…”

“Sir Uldred! Help me up!”

“…Without chance of rescue !…”

A hand grasped the bottom bar of the cage,  and was swiftly followed by another. An eager face pulled up to meet them. “Sir Uldred, help me up.”

“Lady Rosamund! What are you doing here?”

“Why my lord, I have come to rescue you.”

“Beautiful Rosamund, I thought you had perished! I…”

With respect my lord, help me up, it is not easy to hold onto the cage while we are being jostled like this. Our captor is exceedingly blessed in the chest.”