Mrs Yip's Big Interview (Patreon)

It was something that Tricia had never imagined, not in a million years, that she would ever be doing. The situation she was in, even as a professional journalist and reporter, was so far outside the realms of possibility, of reality, that it wasn’t imaginable. Yet here she was. With Andre, her very burly and dependable cameraman who was shaking like a leaf.

“You better keep that camera steady Andre.”

“You concentrate on your job, I’ll concentrate on mine.”

Tricia was indeed shaking too. It often helped her to project her fears onto others so that she could maintain composure, or an upper hand in interviews and hard hitting investigative reporting, but this was entirely different. She was on the back foot, almost literally as she struggled to maintain her balance. A calm and kindly face looked down at her, lined with the creases of a hard life, filled with laughter, work, and struggle. The face filled her vision. It belonged to Mrs Yip, whose palm she now stood in. Mrs Yip was around two hundred and sixty feet tall.

Andre was giving her the countdown. “…4, 3, …” The silent count of two, one, and she was live to the city.

Good afternoon New York and welcome to special live broadcast. I’m Tricia Collins and I’m coming to you live and exclusive from the most extraordinary story I’ve ever covered. I’m in the palm of a giant woman, Mrs Yip, owner of local business Yip’s Laundrette, who has granted us this exclusive interview to talk to her following her astounding growth to an estimated two hundred and sixty two feet this morning. Mrs Yip, how are you feeling, can you tell us something about what has happened to you?”

“Hello. I am good, feeling strong, and very happy.” Mrs Yip seem to be trying to talk softly to the reporter but the volume of her voice made Tricia’s bones quake. Mrs Yip spoke in confident but heavily accented and slightly broken English. “This morning at breakfast we all feel funny, and see glowing rock. Me, my niece Rose, Mrs Chen…” Mrs Yip gestured over her shoulder to two other gigantic women who stood towering over the neighbourhood. One was younger, in her early twenties and dressed in very casual loungewear. She was on her phone, which had also grown with her, excitedly typing, taking photos and video and bursting into fits of laughter. The other woman was dressed in a sheer teddy nighty and  panties, cutting a startling figure standing over the local redbrick streets. She looked like a woman used to being made up who had been caught unawares by a knock at the door… in her case a knock through the roof. “Mrs Chen is manager for my beauty parlour. Also lodger. We three girls live together. No Mr Yip for 15 years.” Tricia didn’t pry further about Mr Yip or the family dynamic, the rock was behind this story.

“Can you tell us about the glowing rock? Did it do this to you.”

“The rock is gone now. Glowing finished. Now just a rock. But yes, I think so. After few minutes we all get very big and apartment and laundrette come down.” Mrs Yip made a sound that really just sounded like “pssssh” but it gave the effect of a crashing.

“What are you going to do now?” Tricia asked. It was what everyone in the city would want to know.

While considering her answer Mrs Yip scratched her boob with her free hand, this was greeted by a screech from somewhere below Tricia and Andre’s lofty perch.

“Ohmygawd Aunty be careful!” shouted over Rose.

“Oop sorry.” Mrs Yip winked at Tricia. “I have cargo. Hanger on.”

“Aunty you horn dog!” Rose yelped. “She’s been ogling Nelson ever since he was old enough to drive that delivery truck and now…”

“Now he comes with me.” Mrs Yip finished the sentence and stifled a giggle as she winked at Tricia again. “Toy boy.” Tricia could not resist peering over the edge of Mrs Yip’s hand towards the ground below. She caught sight of movement. A tiny young man was caught, tucked, hanging onto the hem of Mrs Yip’s décolletage. He was struggling a little, after having been almost knocked off by the absent minded scratch. It must have been like being on the billowing sail of a tall ship. “I save him for later.” She paused. “Now I am big, I take what I want.” She smiled conspiratorially.