Switch Page 49 Director's Cut (Patreon)

So I changed Casey's dialogue in panel one. And as much as I hate posting the same art twice for any reason on this site, I thought supporters should have the ability to check out both versions. And if you're interested, read on and I'll explain why I changed it and why I think altering one little word balloon expresses so much more about Casey's personality.

See in the original version, I wanted to show that Casey was getting a bit raw and just saying some crazy shit. Both Casey and her mother tend to let their real selves shine through as they get close to orgasm. Casey is kind of creepy and unhinged so I thought her dialogue should reflect that. I messed with it for hours and even then I wasn't 100% happy with what I came up with.

I realize now what I thought was off about it wasn't the words exactly, but what I was presenting about her. Casey has a weird/kind of sick personality, but for me that's not who she is if you strip everything away. By this point in the story I think it's clear that she's quite love-starved, so I think if she was really exposing her true nature she'd be seeking approval. Plus her asking if he likes her body segues a little smoother into asking him to start having sex every day than what I wrote before.

An added bonus? I already had a line about her seeking approval during sex with Royce in chapter one, so now I'm reinforcing previous behavior. And anyone who doesn't read this will think I'm a badass writer who totally planned it all along since then! Mwahaha....ha?

So what have I learned? Writing is hard! But I'm picking things as I go, and thanks for being patient with me as I work to make this comic as good as I possibly can.