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It's that time of book again - who wants to die (in a book)?? (Patreon)

Published:
2023-05-17 00:41:54
Imported:
2023-05

Content

So if you were around these parts back in 2020 you may remember the last time I did this. Thing about writing epistolary novels like this is it requires a lot of names (and the disappointing truth is of the couple dozen names I used for Truth of the Divine, only about six of them died, the rest got cast as minor characters and journalists.) Good news is this time, fewer named characters die?

But because Patreon‘s terms of service says I can’t do anything that resembles a raffle, it has to be based on "merit," not chance. I thought I might try to shake it up but honestly I can't think up a better idea than what I did last time so here it is:

Leave a comment below (and ONLY below, anywhere else will be ignored) giving me your name, or a made up name that represents you (NOT any other real person, living or dead) as well as a short backstory. It can be your real life story or not, just a sentence or two. Don’t overdo it. But bonus points if, going by RuPaul rules, you make us laugh

Some notes:

Apostles of Mercy takes place at the end of 2009. 

Large portions of the book take place in the Philippines and Japan, so I need a couple Japanese names and several Filipino names.

You might be a "bad guy," but at least this time the antagonists aren't Proud Boy types. 

Level of Patronage will not play into my decisions.

Void where prohibited.

The deadline for submission is 6 PM PST on Monday May 22nd.

Still no official release date, but hopefully it will be spring of 2024--because the publishing industry is still recovering from pandemic-related printing shortages,

Also, needless to say, not reading the instructions is an instant disqualification. Have fun, you crazy kids.

Comments

Anonymous

Jaki King, a rambunctious librarian with a distaste for capitalism and a penchant for eating raw potatoes

Anonymous

Ryoko Sato- the first name and last name of two different Japanese people I worked with. This is actually an abbreviated version of one of their stories. Sato-san (as you'd usually address her) is an Okinawan who fell in love with a Marine but the relationship fell apart as soon as he brought her back to the US. She spent 6 months here, said fuck this place, and returned to Japan but chose to live mainland. She's still technically married. She now works in an office and no one knows what she does in her free time. She's very secretive and quiet, until she goes to karaoke. Then she gets very dunk, belts all the US top 100s from the 80s, and usually falls asleep on one of the tables (true thing that happened, at least twice that I was there for).

Jordan Bosch

Jordan Bosch. From Halifax, Nova Scotia. The son of a still-life painter and an amateur car thief, he is a former foosball coach turned high school drama teacher who in 2007 received rave reviews from the St. Josaphat Times for staging an all-mime production of Neil Simon’s Rumors at the end-of-term barbecue. The arrival of aliens shortly after caused for him an existential crisis, where he routinely professed a nihilistic philosophy to his students that ultimately got him put on a leave of absence. During this time, he found modest recognition as a volunteer spokesperson for the Conservative Party of Canada.

Anonymous

Elsie Birnbaum is an eleven year old who has thankfully outgrown her weeb phase and now is solidly a trekkie (which is no less annoying to her parents who would rather she not keep talking about whatever her current obsession is). Last year, she was incredibly lucky to have gotten to visit her best friend who moved back to Japan after first grade, Misato (Millie) Kanahara. While in Fukuoka, she got to go to school with Millie for three days which of course meant she got wear a cute little seersucker sailor dress and tell people for years to come that she (briefly) went to school in Japan.

Anonymous

Benjy is a great name for small boy or a large dog. Not as good for a grown-up who wants to be taken seriously. And what were my parents thinking, naming me that and then, when I was 5 years old, moving to the Philippines, where the language has no "j" sound? I retreated from the constant mockery by leaning into my expat identity, devouring comic books and VHS tapes of MTV shows sent by my well-meaning New Jersey relatives. But on annual visits back to the US I could feel myself fitting in a little less well each time. And so I, gradually and grudgingly, and despite my ingrained snobbery found myself first accepting and then immersing into Filipino culture, while never letting go of my American affectations. So now I'm one of those international people you see floating around places like London, Hong Kong, and Dubai: a little bit at home everywhere, but not completely at home anywhere.

dough

Rachel Crescent. Getting my wisdom teeth out at 29 which is geriatric according to my oral surgeon. Also chose my last name when I got married for feminist reasons

Anders Theroux

I'd love to be a barman in one of your stories. It's a thing I include in all my short story roughs and the WIPs I have, since its my real life job (the one that actually pays me, anyway)