Betty Boop vs Jessica Rabbit: Toon Boxing at The Ink and Paint Club (Patreon)

If the early access from two days ago wasn’t clear enough, I tore right through this baby. Basically two sittings of 5ish pages apiece. Hardest part was putting together slapstick boxing jokes and just lining them up in an order I liked.

I’ve mentioned that this was a weirdly simple idea for me. Like the idea of Jessica Rabbit fighting Betty Boop at the toon bar feels like the absolute easiest concept to me. I know Jessica Rabbit vs Holly Wood was fucking everywhere when I was first finding catfight porn, and maybe that tainted the idea for me for so long. Like I’d assumed somebody had already done it. I actually didn’t find much of anything, though I did find a lot of cute stuff about them being a mismatched lesbian couple.

While I was brainstorming, I realized a lot of the cartoon boxing tropes are based around it being super one-sided. I didn’t feel like either gal had an especially dominant advantage over the other, but it felt worth paying respect to. So I tend to fall into my more usual back and forth later on, but I really liked the idea of each woman getting their own “round.” Just like 99% of this round, Betty is crushing it and one where Jessica does. It’s an absurd sort of pacing, but toons are fun like that.

And for all my talk about boxing being harder to write than wrestling over the years, I’ve got quite a few boxing stories coming soon. And folks like them a bunch, so happy to oblige.

The toons of Toon Town were a strange bunch at the best of times. The racket from The Ink and Paint Club night club could be heard over the wall that humans kept their comedy at bay with. Everyone from talking teapots to the more realistic humanoid toons made a racket as various cartoon stars showed up for various vaudeville acts and raunchy teases, with even the occasional human lured into the cartoonish levels of indulgence.

Tonight was a special night. Just beyond the looming shadow of the bouncer, a chalk sign advertised the event.

“Fight Night 2 Nite! The hottest dames slug it out! So clock outta woik and watch them clock each other instead! (Guests are encouraged to not bring their own boxing gloves).”

“There you have it, folks!” an excited woman’s voice boomed across the crowded night club, drowning out the cheers and the ringing of a bell.

A large space (larger than it had any right to be given the size of the club from the outside) was cleared out from the tables and stools to allow a full boxing ring to be set up. Toons had little regard for logic or physics, so nobody batted an eye at the idea. The last fighters were dragged out of the ring as the announcer went off, firing the drunk cartoon characters up for more.

“That’s Swingshift Cinderella with her lights put out by Red Hot Riding Hood’s lampshade of a right hook!” Tinkerbell shouted.

She had to fly close enough to the mic to be heard by anyone, but the big mouth on the otherwise tiny and quiet hostess carried just fine now.

“Freshen those drinks now, boys, cuz you’re not gonna miss this one! Two, count ‘em TWO gorgeous ladies, the hottest of their respective times. Now to find out which of them is the strongest in this brutal boxing beauty contest! Please welcome from the stage to the ring, Jessica Rabbit and Betty Boop!”

Some loud jazz from the band of talking instruments as the ladies came right to the ring. Both of them were in glittery trunks and tiny, tight sports tops, mock-ups of their usual cocktail dresses. They wore robes over their heads and shoulders, tossing them off with their gloved hands. A few goofballs in the front row brawled with each other to get their hands on them before a huge cartoon bull of a man picked them up by the scruffs of their necks.

“Oi! No fightin’ at fight night!” he snorted at them.

Now back to the babes! While Jessica was a singer and Betty was technically more of a waitress at the club, they both made the boys (and a respected percentage of the women) drool. Jessica was her usual sultry, smoking self in her tight red boxers and top. If complimented her deeply orange hair that hung down to her back and over one half-lidded eye. Betty wore black for her gloves and outfit, complimenting her pale skin and short, dark curls that came with coming from the black and white era. She was a bit shorter than Jessica, but not by much and her legendary curves came with a bouncing pale rack that rivaled Jessica’s. They scowled at each other, ready to defend their reputations as the toughest dames to come out of this club.

A runty little woman waddled out between them. She had bright green hair hanging over her eyes and a checkered ref shirt and shorts. She was bucktoothed and only a few feet tall, half the size of the ladies to show that she was absolutely useless in actually keeping them in line. She was also comically skinny, save for a huge pair of freckled boobs. “Reedy Referina” was considered too honest and dopey to be corrupt, making her a lousy but reliable ref.

“Okay, ladies… you’ve both tried to bribe me equally, so I guess that’s a wash. Just try not to break anything too expensive, and if you get too punchdrunk, remember to ask for a designated driver.”

The bell rang and the ladies both moved in. Both ladies were scrappy, though neither was much of a professional fighter so there wasn’t much for posturing and strategy in this fight. It was boxing, but with a very clear “foxy” in front of it.

“I’m going to knock that ugly black and white block off,” Jessica threatened as they circled warily.

“You’re gonna need that dopey haircut to cover up ya black eye,” Betty snapped back at her.

The redhead growled and lunged at her, winding up for a huge haymaker. The powerful swing right off the bat left her wide open as Betty moved in with shorter, quicker movements and clocked Jessica right in her perfect nose. Jessica’s shadowed eye fluttered as she recoiled, gasping and clutching her face with one clumsy glove.

She wasn’t used to getting pounded in the face like that, so it quickly became open season for Betty. She stuck to Jessica like glue, staying close and clobbering her pretty face around as quick and hard as she could. The scrappy brunette had Jessica’s one visible eye rolling seconds into the match until her shapely ass was up against the ropes.

“Incredible!” Tinkerbell boomed over the mic. “BB is taking Jessie to town! She looks like she’s dead set on leaving some cracks in that hourglass figure!”

Jessica moaned and her head rolled listlessly as her arms draped over the ropes. Betty just kept at her, unleashing a speedy barrage of punches into Jessica’s tiny waist. She huffed and jiggled back against the ropes, doubling over to bounce her boobs around helplessly. Betty showed she still had the moves for a classic cartoon, throwing all her curvy weight into a skyrocketing uppercut. With a wild whizzing noise, Jessica went flying backward hard enough that her arms caught on the ropes. She spun around in a brief tornado before coming to a stop, her arms and legs completely wrapped up in the ring ropes.

“Looks like you’re all tied up, red,” Betty gloated, thumping her gloves together confidently in front of the groggy-looking Jessica.

“That’s what’s wrong with you new toons. You’re all curves, no real punch to ya. Boop-oop a-BOP!”

She swung a huge punch into Jessica’s face, burying the glove into her kisser. The gloves stretched back from the cartoony force of the face buster, just to slingshot Jessica back into the ring. She flew off the ropes, her tits flying and flopping around from the air force. She bounced around the ring like a pinball, bumping off ropes and ringposts. Betty confidently adjusted her hair before holding out one glove, letting the airborne Jessica slam face first into it. Tweeting birds and shooting stars whirled around her head as the redhead moaned and staggered drunkenly, barely able to wave one of her red gloves to shoo them all away.

“G-get lost, boys… I got dis one,” she slurred.

The birds went off to take a smoke break, just to clear her vision in time to see Betty’s fist flying at her. She flinched and shielded her face but Betty just smashed her in her tiny waist, crushing her guts with the body blow. Jessica’s boobs bounced and rested over Betty’s arm as warm spit and hot air blew out past her shoulder. Her legs wobbled like rubber bands, with Betty raising her glove to hold her up with Jessica’s chin resting on the glove. The groggy redhead started vacantly back at her until Betty blew her a kiss. The floating lipstick drifted the few inches between them before smacking Jessica across the face, making her recoil and fall to her knees.

“You always were such a pain in the butt. Maybe it’s time I let it return the favor.”

Betty planted her hands on her knees and turned around, thrusting her hips out to slam her butt into Jessica’s face. She started hands-free pounding her, shaking and sticking out her ass to smack Jessie around with it. The redhead’s sweaty hair whipped around at the humiliating beatdown, barely even able to raise her gloves so long as Betty kept up her absurd offensive. She finally managed to bring them up to cup her ass and stop it long enough to catch her breath.

“Stop it, you outdated old bimbo,” Jessica grunted, trying to shake away the cobwebs.

“Hey! Hands off the merchandise, perv!”

Betty turned around and wound up her fist. She kept winding and winding until it spun around like a miniature tornado circling her shoulder, just to bring it smashing down on top of Jessica’s head. The skinny baby went shooting straight down into the mats like a fence post, only stopping when her tits were too big to fall through the hole created by the rest of her body. They ballooned up, her nipples barely popping out past her top as she clumped chin-first into her own overinflated chest. Betty beamed and pumped her arms for the crowd, flexing her thick and surprisingly strong ladylike limbs. She posed for the roaring crowd while planting one high-heeled boot on Jessica’s breasts, squashing them out even further.

“Alright, alright! Lemme do my thing,” Reedy insisted as she waved Betty away.

The brunette boxer smugly stepped back, glancing at the clock. Fifteen seconds left. No way Jessica was getting up by then. It would be an easy first round knockout.

“A one! A two! Th… the uh… the one that comes after two! One after two and a half…”

“Oh come on!” Betty groaned.

Jessica was still conscious, but weak and dizzy enough that she couldn’t escape the comical sinkhole. She didn’t have to as the ditzy ref’s poor counting left the bell ringing somewhere around “7 and a bit.” Reedy pulled Jessica back up by the hair like she was a carrot-topped carrot.

“That’s the bell! Back to your corners, ladies!” the dutifully dumb ref instructed.

Betty scoffed but returned to her stool in her corner. It was obvious what she needed. If the ref was that stupid, she’d just have to knock Jessica out. And she’d love doing it, proving the old timey classic still packed a punch.

In her own corner, Jessica groaned and rubbed her aching head. Toons could take a ton of punishment and were borderline unkillable, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like heck. She needed to do something about this if she was going to make any momentum. She glanced around to make sure the ref wasn’t looking, and while Betty took a drink of her water bottle, the sneaky redhead loosened up her glove, snuck a hand under the ring, and slid something down her top.

“Wow! Look at those beauties go! Betty’s sweating up a storm but she’s got this match by the hooha! The second round could be our last!” Tinkerbell barked.

Round two was announced with another ringing alarm bell. Jessica rose back up with a grunt and a final adjustment to her skimpy top. They barely squared up when Betty lashed out like a snake, striking Jessica across her pouty lips. She grunted and stumbled down surprisingly quickly, even from Betty’s expectations.

“Oh c’mon. I still got some of your makeup on my glove from last time. Lemme wipe it off on ya,” Betty boasted as she paraded over her.

Jessica milked her knockdown, staying on all fours for a moment. She used the bit of cover from her curves to slip the horseshoe out of her cleavage and slide it into her glove before sealing it tight. She whirled around, rising up to her knees and swinging a huge uppercut right between Betty’s legs. The glove hit with a metallic clang of the extra weight, but it was drowned out by Betty’s piercing scream. She went shooting straight upward, her feet leaving the mats so fast that her boots were left behind. The brunette’s thrashing body went shooting straight through the ceiling of the club, leaving a very flattering silhouette of her curves on the way up. She came flying back down like a comet, landing back in her footwear with a throbbing pain in her pussy.

“YOWCH! A little below the belt on that one!” Tinkerbell winced. “But since none of the ladies are wearing belts, I guess that’s legal. Wonder where Jessie got that extra punch to her all a sudden though!”

Jessica dragged herself up while Betty was frozen in place, gloves clinging to her aching groin.

“I guess they don’t make ladies like they used to,” Jessica sneered.

“Because they used to make them pathetic, ugly and stupid!” she growled, smashing a punch into Betty’s juicy midsection with each insult.

The brunette huffed and doubled over more and more with each blow, too hurt to really recognize just how nasty Jessica’s left was compared to her right.

The second round was Jessica’s for the taking from there. Jessica was free to pound her back into the ropes before hitting her with a hard cross to the jaw. Betty’s eyes rolled as she spun in several dizzying circles before falling forward, landing with her arms and breasts resting over the top rope facing the crowd. With her slouching over, Jessica smirked at her outthrust ass. Spanking was the obvious option, but she bent over and threw an uppercut into one of Betty’s ass cheeks instead. The brunette squeaked and broke into a moaning drone as Jessica pounded her buns until they bounced up and down like Jess’ personal punching bags.

“I never would have guessed a fossil like you knew how to twerk it!” Jessica gloated with a sultry sneer.

Betty took an especially hard uppercut to the ass, making her jump up and bounce out of Jessica’s reach. She fumbled with her gloves behind her, finding her booty had been pummeled so much that her trunks had wedged up her crack and looked more like a thong than anything else. Her fingerless gloves were little help as she tried tugging it back out, distracting her further as Jessica suddenly stepped back in front of her. Betty tried to hop back out of range to regroup, but she found herself stuck in place. Jessica had predicted her retreat and had stepped on the toe of her black boot. It not only trapped her there, but when Jessica landed another horseshoe-lined sock to her face, Betty flew right to the mats… and bounced back up like her toes were the foot pedal on a trash can. She was stiff as a board as Mrs. Rabbit kept pummeling her, knocking her up and down again at her own smug leisure.

A clanging rang out, finally getting Reedy to pay attention. The goofy ref waddled over, waving a hand authoritatively.

“Hey now! There’s the bell. Back off before we…”

Then the actual ring bell rang. The little referee paused, scratching her head.

“Just a gosh dang minute… lemme see those!”

Jessica sighed deeply, making her bosom rise and fall impressively. She held out her hands as Reedy patted down the redhead’s gloves. With a furrowing of her brow, Reedy pulled one off and turned it upside down. She shook it firmly until a horseshoe fell out. She kept shaking, and another horseshoe fell out. Then a second, and a third, and then an actual cartoon horse impossibly dropped out and bolted from the ring.

“Just a dang minute! That’s gotta be against some kinda rule!” Reedy insisted.

Jessica scoffed dismissively at the runty ref.

“I forgot we had a formal rulebook for these kinds of things. Oh wait. We don’t,” she gloated.

“Why I oughta…” Reedy growled, rolling up her sleeve. She reached up said sleeve and took out a small notebook and pencil. “...write you a formal warning…”

“It’s fine,” Betty Boop huffed from the mats.

She showed some battle damage, a bit bruised and with some mysteriously appearing bandaids on her person. She was at least as banged up as Jessica was after her dominant first round. One eye was swollen but still open as she spat outside the ring.

“I’m good to keep goin’. I’m not missin’ my chance to clean this bitch’s clock that easy.”

“Fine. I’m not gonna stop until you’re a smear of ink on the mats,” Jessica sniffed as she strutted back to her corner.

The ladies took their brief break, drinking to refresh all the lost sweat and saliva from the last round.

“Wow! These babes sure can take a licking! They look like they’ve taken a few anvils to the head and they’re still fixing to fight! Our goofball of a ref seems convinced that there’s no more foul play, but that’s not gonna stop the ladies from knocking each other’s blocks off! There’s the bell, so let’s see them WOW! Not wasting any time!”

The women moved so fast out of their corners that they left dust clouds in their wake. They couldn’t wait to go after each other, both throwing huge haymakers. They collided with the other woman’s cheek, squashing their gorgeous features and finely done makeup out of shape as the mutual punch left them both groaning in slow motion. They took a step back and regained their footing as they unleashed a blinding storm of punches at each other. Their hands flew like black and red blurs between them, catching grazing hits to their cheeks, breasts and upper bodies.

They had both taken a real beating so far, but Betty’s damage was fresher. Jessica punched through her defenses first, tagging her with a blow right to the nose. Betty’s eyes crossed and cut off her attack as she wobbled on her boots, leaving her wide open as Jessica kept up her attack. The sultry songstress pummeled her face and tits around, juggling her in place as her gloves kept flying. In fact, she withdrew her hands from her gloves, letting them keep punching away by their own momentum. The gloating mitts smacked Betty around while Jessica showily pretended to check her nails, getting a rowdy cheer from the crowd.

Her cocky maneuver did give Betty the chance to escape her onslaught, ducking under one of the automatically punching gloves. She wove around them with an angry scowl as she lunged in and threw a huge right hook, smacking it right into Jessica’s mouth. The gloves snapped back to her hands but not quickly enough to stop the impact. It hit hard enough to make her head go flying, stretching out her neck several yards before it snapped back into place. Jessica’s head spun dizzily until she clutched her head between her gloves, biting her lip and tasting blood against her already ruby mouth.

“Red’s your color, ain’t it?” Betty scoffed despite her banged up appearance.

“I’m gonna turn you from black and white to black and blue,” Jessica threatened her back.

She clutched her gloves together and swung them like she was swinging a baseball bat at Betty’s skull. The shorter brunette dodged around that too, dipping low and shooting back up with an uppercut. This time the glove connected with Jessica’s underboob, sending her bouncy tit flying straight up until the melon-sized jug smacked its redheaded owner in the face. Even her tits packed a punch, as the breast flew out of her top and bounced to a naked stop while Jessica was completely stunned.

“Nice pair of punchin’ bags! Don’t mind if I do!”

Betty laughed as she unleashed some tit shots. Hooks and jabs jiggled Jessica back into a corner until she slumped against it like a scarecrow, wincing from the chesty pain. Betty lunged in for a deep body blow, but Jessica didn’t bother protecting herself.

“Well these punching bags punch BACK!” Jessica hissed as she swung her shoulders upward.

Her breasts whipped upward like wrecking balls, smacking Betty upside the head. Her eyes went wide with shock and pain as the bust beat her back, stumbling a few steps away. Jessica grabbed at her, hooking her glove inside the chest of her top and reeling her back in. Betty dangled in her grip as Jessica shook her shoulders back and forth, whipping her tits across her face like a high-impact motorboating. The audience hooted and made countless jokes about envying Betty despite the glassy look on her battered face.

Betty managed to grab Jessica’s wrist, forcing herself to stand and back away. Jessica didn’t let go of her top, so the fabric tore away as Betty recoiled. Both of the beauties were left topless as the audience went absolutely nuts to see their naked, sweaty and bruised up breasts.

“That’s it! You wanna dance ya cheatin’ slut? Let’s dance!” Betty snapped.

“Bring it on, pipsqueak. I’m not scared of your puny punches OR your tiny tits.”

The ladies threw themselves at each other with hateful aggression. They abandoned any notion of defense as they swung like wild, pressing their naked tits together to get as close to their targets as possible. Gloves whacked against faces, sides and breasts until they were falling over each other, tripping into a large dust cloud. Boots and gloves went flying out in all directions as they tore into each other and an ungodly variety of sound effects came out from the mayhem. Betty would pop out of one end with Jessie in a headlock, thumping her fist into her face rapidly before they were pulled back in. Jessica emerged again on the other end, her breasts resting over Betty’s face while she reached over her to punch into her arching abdomen. Even their trunks went flying out of the cloud, somehow torn off without removing their boots and leaving the women in just their sweaty panties underneath.

It was impossible to keep track of both fighters, who fought so savagely that when the dust settled and they finally backed off to catch their breaths, their own shadows were still throwing 2-dimensional hands down on the mats. They took a moment to realize what their owners were up to before the shades awkwardly hopped back to the badly beaten women’s feet.

The bell rang again, ending round 3 as much more of a stalemate than the first two. The women slumped back into their corners, sore red breasts bouncing with exhausted breaths. It seemed obvious they wouldn’t make it to a fifth round, so they needed to find a way to take down the other bitch without going down themselves. Jessice wearily wiped some sweaty red hair from her face while finally tossing off her top. She leaned on her knees, letting her breasts breathe and hang as she huffed for air.

Betty winced and rubbed her own aching chest, finding one tit in particular bothering her. She looked down and it was only then that she saw her entire breast had been punched back into her torso, jumping in surprise. She put a thumb to her mouth, blowing into it until there was a relieving pop and her tit popped back into its natural shape. She sighed and slumped back into the corner, feeling better but still plenty sore. She hesitated, thinking as she looked down at her thumb again. An idea came to her right as the bell rang.

“Alright… come and get it, you ugly little doodle,” Jessica growled as she advanced to the middle of the ring.

“No need for slurs,” Reedy warned, but Betty ignored her.

The brunette took her time, getting up and putting her glove back up to her face. She stuck her thumb back in her mouth and blew again, even harder than before. With a sound like a filling balloon, her arm swelled up. Her femininely thin arms puffed up, suddenly bulging with muscle around her biceps and forearms. Jessica stared in wide-eyed horror as it doubled in bulk, and Betty smirked at her as she flexed and bounced the inflated muscles.

“Would ya look at that. Looks like I got my second wind,” Betty boasted.

Jessica took a panicked swing at her, but Betty’s one beefed up arm easily deflected it. The other glove smashed into Jessica’s stomach so hard that its outline could be seen popping out of her lower back, lifting the redhead completely off her feet. Jessica’s ruby lips spewed a burst of air and spittle as she was suspended on Betty’s inflated fist. She gave it a firm swing, hurling Jessica back into a corner and unleashing hell on her. The gloves hit with explosive impacts, knocking Jessica’s entire body around with each blow. She could barely stay on her own feet as her eyes rolled drunkenly, barely able to keep her eyes open. She started to fall forward, falling face-first on Betty’s bulging bicep. The songstress was now very quiet as she could barely breathe. The gut busting punches had left her short on air, and even when she coughed down a breath she felt her swollen, half-crushed tits sting.

Betty smirked over her muscular shoulders at her, flexing her bicep playfully. It bounced and dribbled Jessica’s head on top of it, as if the muscle itself was taking its turn beating her up. Jessca’s head bobbed listlessly on it, and a firm flex bounced her from one arm over to the other. Betty proudly showed off her inflated gunshow before turning and flinging Jessica a few feet into the air. Her body ragdolled upward and she swung a huge uppercut.

“Payback’s a b, J!” Betty announced right before her glove smashed into Jessica’s pussy as revenge for her tide turning cheap-shot.

Jessica tried to scream but couldn’t find the strength or the air to do so. She just flew like a missile through the air, crashing into the corner sounding like a car crash. The dust settled and Jessica was flat on her back, her head barely propped up on the bottom turnbuckle. Her chin rested between her huge tits as her eyes barely dragged themselves open. Her pupils spun like slot machines before snapping to a noisy stop. One eye just said the letter K while the other showed the letter O.

“Now that’s two letters I can read! She’s out! Betty wins!”

Reedy pulled up a step ladder to get high enough to hold up Betty’s buffed up arm. The bell rang rapidly to declare their winner as Betty finally relaxed, letting her arms deflate back to normal with a flatulent noise. The crowd was chanting her name and drooling for her all over again, and it took her back to her prime enough to make her heart soar and her ego swell. Even if she just wanted to go find somewhere to collapse and actually put some ice on all the other parts of her that were swelling.

“What a fight?! Can you believe it!? All the hot air Jessica was spoutin’ wasn’t enough to stop the air Betty was blowin’ into mitts!” Tinkerbell shouted.

“Now don’t you go anywhere folks! Refresh your drinks and remember, the bathrooms are for gag use only so there’s no way to miss the action! Sit tight, cuz we got a real David vs Goliath match comin’ up! Who’ll win!? Smurfette or She Hulk!?”