The Ahegao Emo (Patreon)

A deadpan goth girl who wants to get into ahegao. I think it all started as a pun that I really wanted to flesh out, which isn’t that uncommon. I’ve done a few stories that were a tempting enough challenge or dare, and know other writers who have. I think Butcher’s Dresden Files was originally written out of spite.

I think Crystal’s adorable. Wanted to go a little alien with her, and white hair over the obvious black or dyed. She’s not unemotional but she’s really bad at expressing it. Her boyfriend’s around her enough to understand her tiny groans and grunts, so writing that all was an interesting challenge. Minimalist dialogue and expression that needs translation. It helped a little that Rapscallionart did their spooky slutty hostess lady recently too.

It’s the last of the voted stories of the week (pretty pleased with getting three in for once instead of 2). I’d be ahead of schedule but it’s a short month. I’ll probably slip some in for fun anyway before and during my March break (which is just writing other things anyway).

“So you’re into this?”

“Yes.”

“And you wanted to try it out for your Valentine’s Day gift?”

“Mmhm.”

“…you?”

Crystal nodded. Tom pursed his lips as he clicked through a couple more pictures on her laptop.

“You think it’s gross,” Crystal said dryly.

“I don’t! It’s cute,” Tom assured her.

Her “ahegao” folder was well-stocked with girls being fucked silly or posing for embarrassing selfies, all with their eyes rolled back and tongues hanging out of their mouths.

His real confusion came from the fact it was coming from Crystal. His girlfriend was… inexpressive at best. There was no arguing that the girl was cryptic, quiet, and outright emo about it. Tom felt like he’d learned a second language by picking up on the subtle changes in her grim facial expressions. There wasn’t anything wrong with her, otherwise he wasn’t sure he’d be dating her. She was caring and cuddly, but her blank stares, monotone voice, dark attire and cryptic nature didn’t lend itself to her urge to be fucked into making ridiculous faces. Even when they were sleeping together, she had almost mute orgasms that he had to read off her body language of some tensing up, soft sighs and whispers. She wasn’t emotionless, but she sure looked the part.

Crystal sat on the bed wearing her usual outfit; a plain and deep purple dress on her skinny body with a white collar and a silver cross necklace. Her bleached white hair was just as long and straight as the rest of her, kept low maintenance beyond some basic brushing. Her skin was pale, accented further by her huge, icy blue eyes and black eyeliner, lipstick and fishnet stockings. Carefully painted nails were black with tiny skulls added onto each one. She stood out beside her tan, dark-haired, slightly muscular boyfriend.

Crystal stared at Tom with her usual, seemingly disinterested gaze and blinked slowly.

“So?” she asked in her low and level voice.

“So… it’s hot. Don’t get me wrong,” Tom started.

Crystal’s waxy black lips tightened a little. Something he’d come to recognize as the grim girl’s equivalent of a hopeful smile.

“But it’s going to be a lot on you.”

“I know,” his grim girlfriend nodded, making her hair shift quietly. It made almost as much noise as her voice.

“I’ve been practicing.”

“You have? Like, in the mirror?” Tom asked with an eager grin.

“Yea.”

“Can I see?” he pried.

Crystal pursed her lips again, this time to indicate she was sternly embarrassed. Her skin was so chalky that he would have expected blush to stand out more on her than the almost flesh-colored pinkness that blossomed.

“No. It has to be in the moment. I want to make it once you fuck me silly.”

Tom sighed and didn’t bother telling her that she wasn’t the “silly” type in any sense of the term. Why the hell would he when his girlfriend was effectively asking him to fuck her brains out to fulfill her fetish?

“Alright. If you reaaaaally want me to fuck your brains out, I could do you the favor,” he said with a playfully warning tone.

Crystal’s shoulders squared eagerly.

“Okay then. Let’s get to it.”

She scooted back to the head of the bed. She sat and reached under her skirt, starting to wiggle out of her panties. Tom took her hand to stop her halfway through.

“Hold on. Let me,” I offered, doing my best sexual gentleman act for her.

Her pale skin sprouted goosebumps beneath my fingers, even if her face barely changed. She took a long, slow blink at me that was a silent plea for me to continue. I rubbed a hand over her skinny thigh, warming up her cool skin. I slid my head between her skinny legs and kissed her lower belly, slowly teasing my way towards her groin. She squirmed around subtly as I started tonguing at the edge of her pussy until she was so wet I could taste it.

“Ngh,” she said in a quiet grunt.

Her big eyes stared down at me unchanging. The pulsing, subtle twitch of her growing clit assured me her muted reactions were positive ones. Her scrawny legs wrapped around my head to squeeze me weakly against her pale pussy.

“That good, huh?”

“Mm.”

My pasty lover nodded as I planted a few more firm kisses to warm her up.

“I need you like… so insanely bad,” Crystal droned so calmly and listlessly that an amateur could have mistaken it for sarcasm. I knew she meant it all.

“You’ve got it,” I said before burying myself into her pussy like a hungry wolf.

I smacked my lips and grabbed her bubbly little butt to pull and force her in closer. I dug my tongue in deep, flexing and curling it to crush her clit. Her skinny legs tensed around me and she gave a short gasp. I just squeezed her ass tighter until it stung and sucked noisily on her throbbing nub. Her breathing quickened a little as she laid back against her pillows to brace herself.

“Ah. Hmm. Good…”

Crystal’s horny dirty talk sounded more like she was working on an especially troubling math problem, even as her humping pussy grew soaking wet. Her sweet and horny juices coated my hungry tongue as it flicked her sweet spot. I pushed her over the edge as one hand went up and grabbed her small tit, treating her just a bit rougher than usual to help her pursue her kinky goal. Her whole body shuddered as she came on my tongue, emitting another sarcastic sounding groan.

“So… good… bleh.”

I watched Crystal’s face to see her mindlessly aroused reaction. Just like I’d suspected, she wasn’t even close. Even trying her best, she stuck her little tongue a half inch out of her mouth and half-lidded her eyes. It was kind of adorable watching her try to express how fucked silly she was with the minimal emotive abilities she had. It WAS one of the most expressive faces she’d done in a long time.

“How was that?” she asked.

Crystal was breathing heavily but she asked like she was asking how my day went.

“It’s a start,” I offered.

Crystal replied with an annoyed grunt. “What was it like? Wait… I can do better next time.”

Crystal reached over to her side table and fiddled with her phone. I rested my creamy chin in her porcelain thigh as she finished propping it up to record us. She gave a little nod of approval and turned back to me.

“Okay. Would you please continue to destroy my filthy sluthole until I am a mindless wreck of cum?” she politely requested.

“Of course, my midnight princess.”

Crystal gave a barely audible hum and twitched a curt little shudder under me. It clearly struck a chord so I kept up the pressure, leaning in to kiss around her neck. I bit into the skin firmly, leaving light red imprints of my teeth stenciled across her pale skin. Her skinny arms wrapped around my chest where her skull-tipped nails scratched down my back. She rubbed her hands under the waist of my pants before sliding her fingers around to the front. She unbuckled my pants to free up my cock, wrapping her warm hand around my pulsing erection. I was supposedly doing her the favor, but it didn’t mean I didn’t love doing it.

“My… what an absolute clit smasher. A shame if someone were to be forced to ride it like a shewolf in heat,” she said in her weirdly patient horny way.

“Shame,” I agreed with a smile.

I scooped her up by her pale thighs and hoisted her onto my lap. It was easy to maneuver her slight body to tug her in roughly, impaling her pussy on my dick like I was aiming for her skinny waist. Crystal sniffed sharply and her mouth opened slightly in a muted gasp. Her dark eyelids fluttered as I thrust up while pulling her down. I could see her skinny body trembling from how deep I got inside her. It felt tight enough that when I glanced down, I could see the bulge in her lower abdomen where my cock was swelling around the depths of her pussy.

“Oh. Oh. Oh.”

Crystal stated each reaction like she’d just learned a mildly interesting bit of trivia rather than me trying to stretch out her pussy. Her big, staring eyes didn’t even seem to notice until I rubbed a hand over her stomach to emphasize the bulge.

“Check it out. You must be used to taking big hammer cocks if you’re barely blinking from that.”

Crystal glanced down and gave another breathless gasp in surprise.

“Ohhhhhh.” More of a dull sounding groan than a moan, but it was still hot to hear. She leaned back on her palms, arching her back to make her perky little tits thrust out. It made her tightly packed stomach thrust out, her pelvis still mounted on my shaft while making her bulge stick out even more. Her droning groan peaked a bit higher for a moment as she rode me with those bony hips. I ran my hands up her sides and firmly squeezed around her chest, thumbing her nipples to flick the stud-pierced tips. I pulled on her upper body to pound her down around my shaft like a gothy fleshlight.

“You look like such a hentai slut right now. Like you’re more cock than babe right now…”

“I am,” she muttered in her dreamy cryptic voice. “Am I also, perhaps, a Hot Topic whore?”

“You are a filthy, trashy Hot Topic whore.”

Crystal gave a barely audible squeak like repeating what she’d asked for really hit the spot. It was hard to read her face but her pulsing pussy tensed around me as a sure sign of her appreciation. Her skinny body heaved with a couple deep breaths before she broke into a groaning orgasm. I felt her clenching up when I took her chin between my finger and thumb to force her mouth open wider and tilt her head towards her camera.

“Tongue out,” I reminded her quickly. “Eyes back.”

“Mmf! Thank yaaalll~.”

Her tongue poked past her black lips to interrupt herself. Her eyes rolled, but side to side in a sarcastic way instead of what she wanted. Her accidentally sarcastic look was still cute, and her harshly bucking rode me hard enough that her pale body started slapping into me. I squeezed her hard against me to bottom out, throbbing inside her before blasting her full of my cum.

“Ahh,” she sighed, a bit higher like she meant it to be a horny shout.

She hugged me back and moaned, milking my cock with her grinding. She bit into my shoulder with a brief sting but I held onto her, loving how good my quiet little angel must feel. I stroked her spiderweb-colored hair as she let out another quiet little sigh beside my ear.

“I didn’t make it, huh?” she muttered dryly.

“You were SO sexy as hell, babe.”

“Mm?”

“You didn’t make the face. But definitely closer.”

“I see. You weren’t going easy on me, were you?”

I eased out of her enough that I wasn’t swelling out of her stomach in a lump of cockhead and cum, letting out mixed juices ooze back out a little.

Crystal hummed again. She picked up her phone and skimmed through her recording. I was still stuck inside her, her slight weight all pushing down on my shaft. Her sex noises echoed on the video as she nodded quietly.

“You did your best. My mortal shell is too fragile to experience such impossible ecstasies.”

I let out a breath and ruffled my hands through Crystal’s hair, pulling her head against my chest. I felt her wistful little sigh blew past my sweaty pecs.

“Look, I get that you wanted it. You just agago in your own special way. And I know how much you hate conforming,” I assured her.

She looked up at me with those big, beautiful eyes like an undead owl’s. After a moment of normally eerie silence, she nodded.

“Thank you,” she said simply and sweetly before she added “And it’s ahegao.”

“You’re just trying too hard. I say relax and enjoy it. If you’re fucked silly, you’re fucked silly. If you want to make the face, I’ll help you make the face next time you do a selfie. And if you really want to smash your pussy into oblivion, I am more than happy to fuck you like a beast with a vengeance.”

Even that got a look of clear surprise on Crystal’s face. She nuzzled her midnight lips against mine in a silent plea until I kissed her back. She bit my lip back to make all my muscles twitch.

“Make it hurt, my love,” she purred.

It was hard to refuse a polite request like that.

“Yes, princess.”

I took her by the hair and pulled her over backward. I followed her down, pinning her to the bed and aggressively kissing her. She let out pleased little squeals, especially as I used her hair to bend her around. Her heavy breathing ran past my lips as I roughly kissed and sucked her neck. Purple-red hickeys quickly blossomed in my wake as she writhed beneath me.

“Yes… good beast,” she sighed listlessly, even as her painted nails dug into my shorter hair.

I hoisted her scrawny legs up, flipping her almost completely upside down. Her posture tensed as I mounted her and drove my dick straight down into her. She gasped as she bounced on the mattress beneath me, her head dangling off the edge of the bed.

“That’s the mating press from your hentais, right?”

“MHM!” she moaned out quickly, biting her pouty black lip.

Watching her slim body and perky little tits bob beneath me was a hot sight. The two of us threw out weight into it to mash her up into my cock while I jackhammered her back down. Her white hair swayed around the side of the bed as she hung only held on by my hands and humping. She shut her eyes tight and let herself get lost in the pleasure as I pinched and turned her pierced pale nips, getting lost in the messy passion until her cum-soaked pussy was slurping at my shaft. I wrapped a hand around her neck as I gave her a few last pumps. I shot my load into her as she bucked her hips, clapping my balls into her thighs as she joined me in cumming together. Her skull-tipped fingers interlocked with mine as she let out a shrill, sharp shout.

Our juices stewed inside her as I slumped against her. Crystal sighed, her hair hanging towards the floor to add to her already wild look. She blinked up at me with her usual vacant expression stuck back on her face.

“Exceptional,” she droned, letting me pull her back upright. She paused to lick some of her drool that fell to her upper lip.

“Glad you thought so. I wanted you at a good angle where you’d catch the camera.”

Crystal stared at me blankly for a few seconds. It was nothing new, but she whirled around towards the dresser. I’d let her hang right in front of it to keep recording, so she quickly skimmed through the footage. She traced the tracker back and forth, obsessing over it for a moment while my cum leaked out of her onto the bed. Finally, she showed me a paused frame. It was a little blurred from all the motion she was going through, it was upside down, and she was kind of halfway through blinking, but her eyes were tilted up and her tongue stuck out like she was doing a sassy little pose. It looked like a normal person’s shitty attempt at an ahegao face. Easily her best attempt yet.

“Well?” she pried.

“You look fucked up and horny.”

Crystal let out a long and happy little sigh. She tackled me to the bed, which was only possible with how sore and exhausted I was after that sex marathon. She peppered my face with rapid, barely smiling kisses while my overworked dick ached from her pinning sweaty body.

“And you are an ancient sex god among men,” she droned happily, getting me to smile proudly back.

“Is there anything I can do to please you in return, my nightmarish master?”

Oof… I couldn’t take another round like that.

“I’ll take the name, but how about you rest for now?”

“Mm.”

Crystal nodded curtly, giving me another, longer kiss. Then she completely passed out on top of me, her tiny, barely noticeable breaths quickly turning into a silent snore. I rubbed her wispy hair before starting to do the same. Crystal was a kinky little emo weirdo, and I wouldn’t have her any other way.