Wrestle Kingdom: The Guardians (Patreon)

This was a big mishmash of ideas I’d wanted to use here for a good while. A team of cultist minibosses, exploring the characters in 1v1 fights, using their summons, setting up the 4th party member… and also some last minute thoughts about the overall end goal of the story. I’d also jotted down some other character classes that I never ended up using but had some minor lore implications I decided to carry over.

Big thanks to all the people supporting this story in particular! Probably wouldn’t have gotten this big and long if not for people approaching with support and ideas to build it up and maintain the hype.

The girls met up in Manda’s room and compared notes. They had each gotten clues from their respective mermanagers that point them in the right direction of their fourth real human being stuck in the game. They pieced together that a group of bounty hunters calling themselves The Guardians had captured someone going by the nickname of “The MMA Bandit” and were bragging about their big score. Mollie checked her menu and sure enough, the new quest marker to “Investigate The Guardians” arose.

It led the three ladies to a simple-looking house in the middle of Grappleshire. Manda took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping inside. It looked like a fairly normal house for the setting, with lots of wood furniture and plainly decorated walls. The only things remarkable about it was the people standing in it. Three lightly armored women (a goblin, a demon, and a wrestle elf) stood huddled over a map, pointing and debating something in hushed tones. They looked up in surprise when the girls arrived.

“Hey! Whore you?!” the goblin barked.

“It’s supposed to be who’re you. Like who are you,” the succubus-looking woman corrected delicately.

“I care not who they are! Th’are but trespassers,” the buff elf proclaimed, standing up to her full height and thumping her fist into her palm.

“We just came looking into some quest shit, okay?” Manda complained.

Mollie started to blush already as Tess touched Manda’s shoulder and stepped forward.

“Ladies, please… we’re just investigating some rumors. We heard you had some major bounty on your hands. I’m sure they’re just the nastiest around, right?”

“Oh yea. Big jerk,” the goblin grunted as the Guardians seemed to cool down.

As things calmed, Manda got a better look at them. They wore the skimpy fantasy armor that was common around the pervy video game. The short, plump, dark green goblin had big purple twintails tied up behind her head. She wore a simple, tribal loincloth of animal fur and a top that was closer to a coconut bra made of armored plates. She had a lot of curves for something so small, and her beady eyes and sharp teeth gave her a wicked glare.

The elf was the largest of the three, tall and broad and ripped with bodybuilder muscle like every other wrestle elf Manda had encountered before. She wore a chainmail bikini that dangled off her toned body and full chest, barely covering the necessities above her thigh high boots. Her gold-colored hair hung loosely over her pointed ears, complimenting her fair skin. It also made a few dark tattoos of elven runes on one thick thigh and one arm. Another in English lined her collarbone reading “D’ianaris didn’t tap.”

The last bounty hunter seemed identical to what Manda would imagine as a succubus. She had short bat wings sticking out behind her back and a pointed tail coming out from under her black leather dress. She wore high-heeled boots and had dark, pinkish red skin with some short horns growing out from her bright blue hair. Big, cat-like purple eyes batted at them as she hovered a couple inches off the ground. She had a killer hourglass figure that might have made Manda jealous if she didn’t imagine it came with something involving the words “pact” or “soul.”

“The MMA Bandit was known to ambush anyone she could and take advantage for easy wins,” the demon confirmed.

“Truly thy greatest of heel moves worthy of punishment and penalty,” the elf chimed in.

“T’were merely figuring out the fastest route to turn her in.”

Tess nodded patiently while sending a glance at the others.

“I see. I see. Well she jumped a friend of ours a while back and we were looking for her. Would you mind if we saw her before you threw her in jail? Just for closure and all.”

The three monstergirls stared at them for a moment. After a few seconds, they seemed to wordlessly reach the same conclusion and the elf gestured quickly towards the stairs.

“Natia! Leera! They are covetous of the bounty!”

The elf, demon and goblin all bolted for the stairs. Manda panicked and ran after them with Mollie and Tess in tow.

“Okay, I don’t like the looks of that!” Manda hissed as she struggled to keep up with them.

“Hold them off!” all three of the bounty hunters shouted in unison. They gave each other puzzled looks as they neared the top of the stops just as a menu popped up in front of Manda.

“Which one should Manda wrestle? Vote now! Mollie and Tessa will fight the rest.

Windara Pild’ravel, the buff wrestle elf

Natia the vicious goblin

Leera the enchanting succubus.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” she groaned, rubbing her face.

Their fleeing opponents suddenly stopped and waited patiently as they were stuck with the chat’s poll piling up between her and them. Things dipped up and down between Leera and Natia before the goblin maintained a steady lead through the end.

“I’ll get the red one! One vee one me, bitch!” the shortstack declared as she stopped in her tracks.

A ring sprang up beneath them in the middle of the hallway, filling up most of the walkable space. Tess stopped short while Mollie bumped into the invisible barrier around the ring, indicating it was the first solo fight Manda had while still having Mollie nearby.

“I guess they can do that!” Manda snapped in frustration. “Get the other two!”

Tess’ eyes darted around the ring and dashed to one side, squeezing her slim figure between it and the wall. Mollie followed her lead and they went on with the chase as Manda squared off with the runt of the group.

“Good luck, squirt. I’m used to fighting goblins,” the redhead streamer scoffed.

“Oh yea? And how many of those did you win?” Natia jeered back.

The piercing retort shut Manda up. She frowned at recalling her introduction to the world being beat down and sat on by a geeky little goblin. It distracted her enough that the twintailed shortstack darting in like a shot, slamming an elbow into Manda’s stomach. She huffed and doubled over, which just made it easier for Natia to jump straight up and headbutt her in the chin. Manda grimaced as she reeled back and leaned on the ropes rubbing her jaw.

“That’s what you get for tryin’ to stretch so little wrestling out into that tall body, longlegs! Gotta keep it packed in tight!”

The goblin turned away from the wrestler as she shook off the stunned status, lifting her loincloth enough to smack her big green booty at her. Manda shuddered, flashing back to the smell and taste of Gobby’s swampy ass in her face last time and tried to steel herself from letting it happen again.

“That’s it. I’m gonna stomp you right back into your mudhole,” she growled as she forced herself back upright.

---

A little further down the hall, the fleeing bounty hunters weren’t getting far. They started to turn a corner when the brawny elf stopped and turned to face them.

“Keep going,” she told her partner before zeroing her eyes on Mollie.

“Thou!”

She pointed and another wrestling ring sprouted out of the ground around them. Tessa saw it coming and dodged around, waving back at them.

“I’ll get the last one. Not losing our ticket out of here!” she assured Mollie.

The tan-skinned girl magically changed into her boxing attire. She stared across at the Windara who gave a flourish of her hands. Her armor vanished, leaving her muscular figure nude for a split second before a set of forest-green trunks, a tubetop, and boxing gloves appeared on her instead.

“You need not worry about your friend, darling, for I shall have you tapping out to the heavens in no time at all,” Windara basted, taking a few jabs at the air with her brawny arms. Even the quick little motions made her big breasts jiggle around. Mollie blushed at the vision she felt like she’d had wet dreams about.

“Take your time,” Mollie said in a squeaky voice. It wasn’t clear if she was talking to Tessa or her opponent.

She put up her gloves, already breathing heavier out of excitement rather than fatigue. The elf smirked and wound up as she approached, throwing a heavy swing right at her. Mollie twitched out of instinct, darting out of the way with surprising speed and snapping a swift jab up into Windara’s face. As clearly buffer than she was, the elf jerked back with a stunned look flashing across her face. Mollie put another couple hooks into her sides before Windara could back out. She put up a brawny arm to block a parting blow, but even that knocked her guard aside. The elf’s eyes went wide at the display put on by the deceptively soft boxer.

“Gah… I see you are most capable for thy mortal years,” Windara grunted.

“Though I suppose we were not called ‘boxing elves. Not for lack of power though!”

“Sorry! I was kind of on high pressure for a bit there, but I figure Tess got your other girlfriend… I can ease up for sure!”

“Do not insult me with such blasphemous kayfabe!”

“Oh. Well I guess you could just quit and we can do this again la-WHOA!”

Windara rushed her again but she swept to the other side at the last second. Mollie’s punch whiffed past her as the elf smashed her in the cheek with a monster of a haymaker. She grunted as sweat and spit flew off her, just for Windara to bombard her with a flurry of speedy jabs. With a smug scoff, she wound up and threw a massive straight into one of Mollie’s boobs. She huffed as what seemed to be a sonic boom went off around her glove. Mollie went rocketing into a corner, hitting it hard enough to crack the ringpost and bouncing off to land heavily on the mats. Windara chuckled to herself and blew some smoke off her fist.

“They do not call me the Unbreakable Fist of the Eversun for nothing,” she gloated.

Mollie boosted herself back up a second later, shaking out her hair and brushing off her clothes like she had just tripped over her shoelace. Windara stared at her with a sternness that was about as close as she could get to being concerned.

“You still stand after my magifist…” she muttered.

“Yea! Sorry. We can totally keep going! I’ve got like…”

Mollie’s eyes darted away for a second, checking her menu.

“Like another 90 percent of my health at least. So c’mon! What else you got?” she asked with a sincere eagerness that puzzled the elf.

---

Tess didn’t have to go much further before she took the initiative. She reached out towards Leera and called her out.

“Random encountered, bitch!” she declared and summoned a ring out from beneath them.

“Ugh. Who cares?” the succubus sneered. “We’re just gonna beat you all and look good doing it.”

As Tess magically changed into her purple lingerie-like fighting outfit, Leera went through her own instantaneous costume change. Her light armor flashed off, baring her pinkish skin for a moment before returning in a flash of glitter. She was dressed in a skimpy one piece leotard that made her look like a Vegas showgirl rather than a fighter. Tess raised an eyebrow, feeling a little impressed but still up to kick the temptress’ ass.

Tess and Leera strode towards each other, the succubus’ hands on her swaying hips. Tess was ready to grab her when the demon raised a hand a few feet away from her. She blew a kiss off her hand and blew a spray of sparkly pink mist. It washed over Tess and left her skin tingling, a flash of text reading “Tess has been Charmed” across the bottom of her vision.

“Charmed, I’m sure,” Leera chuckled confidently.

“Literally speaking? Yea,” Tessa chuckled, rubbing her forehead. Even that felt soothing and tempting to keep going. Leera smirked at her successful surprise.

“I see you haven’t faced a sexfighter before. Better watch your status effects of you’ll be overwhelmed in-”

Tessa’s hand lashed out and grabbed Leera by the chest of her outfit. She reeled her in by the elastic fabric, stretching it to nearly off her tits. The demon stumbled right into a deep kiss with the black woman’s tongue expertly rubbing and slapping around inside her mouth. Leera shuddered as a few glowing pink hearts flew out of her before Tess parted from the kiss.

“Ain’t my first rodeo, pinky,” she chuckled before shoving the succubus away, charmed herself.

Leera gave a trilling mewl as she stumbled, brushing her hair from her face. Her fingers curled anxiously but neither of them were able to bring themselves to attack the other.

“So you’ve stalemated us. Great job,” Leera huffed. “So we just have to wait this out?”

Tess smirked as she stepped forward. Leera briefly worried she found a way past the spell but she just grabbed her by the shoulders.

“Wanna just makeout instead?” the violet-haired woman asked, bumping her breasts up against the succubus’.

Leera perked up, her eyes widening at the sudden stimulation. She knew the status effect made her targets especially sensitive and compliant, though she couldn’t remember experiencing it herself. Tessa just smiled wider as the same pleasant warmth pumped through her, hardening her nipples and dampening her pussy.

“Sure…” Leera muttered sheepishly. A darker red blush crossed her cheeks as she looped her arms around Tessa’s neck.

“First time doing it on Charm? I lost count of how many times I’ve done it with at least one status affect on me. Adds a whole ‘nother level to this shit.”

She planted a few light kisses on the succubus while running her hands over her body. She ran up her hourglass figure before cupping the sides of her tits, bobbing them against her own. She slid her tongue into the demoness’ mouth, mixing their saliva and moans as they let themselves fall to the mats together. Tess kept up the initiative, grinding her hips and breasts against hers as she helped pull down the demon’s glittery leotard. She licked up Leera’s neck until the succubus caught her dark breasts in her hands. She tugged down Tess’ top and caught one of her nipples in her mouth, sucking on it as their heads swam with amplified arousal.

Tess hooked her hands under Leera’s thighs, lifting them up before pushing her groin into hers. After a few warming thrusts, she slipped off her bottoms and pulled aside the leotard to press their bare pussies together. Tess let out a long, pleased hum as the succubus gasped, shivering beneath her.

“You like that, babygirl? That hit you just right?” Tess purred seductively.

That party sexfighter knew what she was doing from experience, between a sting of ex-lovers and random fan hookups while she was inside the game. She let herself go with the flow of her welcome curse and bobbed her hips, pushing clit to clit slowly rougher with Leera. The demoness gawked and nodded, melting at her masterful touch as she tribbed her faster and faster. With a sharp shudder, Leera bucked her hips up and cried out as she squirted a passionate orgasm over Tess’ lap. It made her heart race and a wider smile cross her face.

“Yea, babe… good girl,” she purred, stroking the rosy cheek.

She gave a firm slap to the succubus’ ass, making the forked tail curl around her arm affectionately.

“You wanna pay me back before this shit wears off?”

“Yessss, mistress!” Leera moaned, still huffing from her orgasm.

“Atta girl,” Tess sighed as she lowered Leera’s hips.

She climbed over her, kissing a trail along the way before she straddled her chest. Leera’s tongue reached out in pathetic arousal, unable to resist it before it was even close enough to lick. Tess pressed her pussy into her face, sitting on her with a deep moan as she planted her knees on her shoulders.

“There we go… good bitch… now say it with me… I’m a good pussy bitch.”

“Umgmdpbsh,” Leera panted into her mouthful of pussy. Tessa ran a hand through her hair, giving it a firm tug that shot a fresh shot of pain and pleasure through her.

“Perfect. Now repeat, precious. One.”

“Umf…”

“Two…”

“T.. MMF!?

“THREE!” Tess grunted hard as she came over her face. Her thighs locked around the demon’s head as she blasted her with a strong orgasm. She ran her hands over her toned body, sighing deeply as a bell rang overhead. Tess let herself get lost in the arousing condition, but she had a talent for keeping a part of her mind still focused on the match. It had been a while since she’d had that status put on her, though, so she wanted to enjoy it.

The ring vanished beneath them as Leera looked up at her in surprise from beneath her pussy. There was another puff of smoke and the demon reappeared trapped inside a rune-covered bottle. It floated in front of Tess as she plucked it up daintily between her fingertips.

“Oh I am keepin’ you for later. It’d be a shame to waste a girl who can lick a clit like that…”

Leera’s voice sighed from somewhere inside the bottle. “Fine… it’s not like this wasn’t part of our plan to begin with.”

Tessa, back in her casual street clothes, raised an eyebrow.

“What plan is that now?”

---

“Northing Winds CROSS!”

With a triumphant bellow, Windara swept her fist across Mollie’s face. Spit and sweat flew off her as the elf continued wailing on her, but she was staying up. She had a sloppy smile on her face as the wrestle elf started panting and sweating as she watched her wobble but stay on her feet.

“You have barely landed a punch… and yet…” Windara huffed dramatically.

“Ohhhh yea,” Mollie mused as she nearly tipped over drunkenly in one direction.

“I got the Outlast ability a few levels ago. Most of my matches don’t go on long enough for it to pay off, but y’know… s’fun,” she mumbled with a silly giggle.

“It just lowers your power a tiny tiny bit each time I’m hit to do stamina damage. Or something… OOF!”

Windara threw a swift hook into Mollie’s belly, lifting her off her boots for a moment. She doubled over the glove and Windara drove a thick elbow onto her back, dropping her to the mats at her feet at last. She huffed and let her arms hang wearily at her sides.

“None shall narrate thy doom aloud but myself! Nor do I care for your stats or kayfabe, mortaline peasant.”

Mollie moaned as she squirmed on the mats. She reached out and grabbed hold of Windara’s leg, dragging herself over. The elf flinched as if expecting retribution for her knockdown, but Mollie just looked up at her with half-lidded, eager eyes and licked one of her boots.

“Yes, mommy~! I don’t know what most of that means but thank you. Gimme morrrre~! I’m a good little pain pig, aren’t I?”

“By the mind-alerting gaze of Gimmikara,” Windara mused with a grimace.

“It seems thou art punching bag than human.”

“YES! THAT!”

Mollie grabbed her around the trunks and pulled herself up. The muscular elf’s eyes widened in surprise as her gloves clumsily pawed at her to get up to her knees.

“Work my tits too! Beat up my big stupid slutty tits! Hurt the cum out of me, pain mommy!”

“Th-thou art half-elf?” Windara stammered in confusion.

“I’m whatever you want me to be~!” she squealed, licking up Windara’s washboard abs.

“Just punish me!”

The elf grit her teeth and threw some downward punches at Mollie. They clocked her in the face, knocking her beaming head around with various squeaks and sighs of delight coming out of her like a chew toy. Even as she drooled over her chest and her nipples grew hard enough to bulge through the front of her top, she clung to Windara with her hot breath panting on her.

The panicking muscle elf grew frustrated and drew back one arm until it bulged with cartoonish amounts of muscle.

“Tis enough of your madness! Have at thee!” Windara declared.

She threw another massive streaking punch down at Mollie and connected right with her chest. Her top exploded off her body, baring her big tan breasts as the glove squashed one into her chest. She gave a shrill cry of pleasure as she shook in place, eyes rolling back in her head as her head rolled listlessly around. Her trunks became soaked in her pussy’s juices, leaking like a faucet. In fact, she reached up and grabbed Windara’s wrist, moving the brawny arm around to make it rub her horny bosom.

“Yesssss~! More like that. But harder! Really give it to me. I want it to last all night~!”

“How can this be?! My mightiest punch can surely…”

She threw a punch with her free hand and clocked Mollie on the cheek. It hit with a comical squeaking noise as Mollie’s cheek squished out of shape but she didn’t even budge. The muscular limb flexed and bulged with veins as she pushed harder but Mollie didn’t even seem to notice.

“By the belts of the goddesses! Your mysterious power! My strength!”

She threw several more punches that didn’t even seem to register on Mollie as they clocked her in the face. She didn’t even blink as she stared up longingly at her and she was so drained by the Outlast ability draining her attack power that Mollie’s bottomless well of HP had sapped her ability to do any notable damage.

“More! More! C’mon, mooooore~!” Mollie raved.

“Did you need to me to fight back to make you hit me? I can do that! I’ve even got the Boxserker ability all warmed up so I can hit you as hard as you want!”

“NO! Really, that’s not necessarUFFGHF!”

Mollie spike an uppercut suddenly up between her legs. Windara’s eyes bugged out of her head as she went shooting into the air. She was not only lifted off her feet, but with Mollie’s boost to her damage while she was so beat up herself made her go flying high enough that she crashed through the roof of her base. She went crashing back down again through another spot, landing with her eyes spinning around dizzily as she laid flat on her face. The noble and muscular boxer was left face down and ass up, drooling mindlessly as her hips twitched in pain and her gloves clutched her annihilated pelvis.

“KO!” a voice announced overhead as another bell rang.

“Huh? Did she finally finish me off?” Mollie moaned just before their own ring vanished. She returned to her hoodie and sweatpants, giving a slightly annoyed little grunt to realize she’d won again. She shrugged and hunched over a little as Windara remained on her knees, bowing her head into the floorboards.

“M’lady Mollie, you are truly my better. I must seek out countless holy reps at the Iron Church after such a defeat.”

“Oh. Right. I mean, if you wanted to beat me up again, we could maybe do a rematch. Or if I really hurt your honor that bad, maybe you could just take it out on me in your free time. Don’t even need a match…”

“Ah, you misunderstand. This defeat was a great honor, not a dishonor!” Windara insisted, looking up with a pleased smile on her face.

“Yea I sure uh what now?” Mollie rambled, more confused than usual with her mind still on the intense beating she’d just gotten.

---

Manda lunged and grabbed at Natia, but she was low enough that it required her to dive for her. Even the pudgy goblin was too fast for her, jumping over her so that Manda hit the mats before she landed ass-first on her back. The redhead grunted from the lung-crushing sit, just for Natia to reach back and grab her hair. She gave a few hasty shoves up and down, banging Manda’s face off the mats a few times. She blinked dizzily as Natia hopped off her, just to grab and twist one of her feet into an ankle lock. Manda yelled out in surprise, beating her fists on the mats as the goblin showily trapped her leg between her plump tits.

“That all ya got? C’mon, humie! Gonna tap tap tap to a runty gob!?” she jeered.

“Fuck… ow! …no… let go, you little goober!”

She tried kicking clumsily with her other leg, but Natia just backed off rather than let her get a real hit in. She grinned wickedly and backpedaled towards the ropes as Manda dragged herself back up. Her hair was a mess and she was already working up a sweat, but she stormed after Natia and threw a kick at her bouncing green boobs. Natia ducked around it, letting her foot go between the ropes and hopping outside them to the ring apron. She let Manda’s eyes go wide with realization before going through with her plan, jumping off the apron and yanking Manda’s leg so that she was crotched on the tight elastic of the ropes. She let out a quick “AWW!” of pain before falling over, curling up in a fetal position as the giggling goblin rolled back into the ring.

“Yer stretched too thin, tallboy! I’ll pound ya into puddin’ at this rate if ya can’t fight back at least a little!”

Natia strutted around her, shaking her big booty and swaying her tits side to side. Manda was huffing as she cupped her crotch, waiting until the goblin paraded past her line of sight again. She lashed out as quickly as she could, catching her by surprise and grabbing her around her middle. It stuffed her face into Natia’s warm green cleavage, but at least she got her hands on her.

“AHA! Grappler Grip or whatever it was called! You’re mine now, pipsqueak!”

She was counting on her ability to give her an especially firm grip on her opponents, but Natia didn’t seem to mind. She jerked away from her, and while Manda held on, she was dragged along a couple inches. She was STILL stronger than the taller human, and realizing that, she went to the corner and hopped up to stand on the bottom ropes. She turned around in midair so that as Manda followed, her face went under her loincloth and right into her plump butt cheeks. Manda shrieked and sputtered, shaking her head around but that just made the thick booty meat swallow her up even easier. Nat grinned with another obnoxious giggle before she jumped off the ropes, flattening Manda’s face back against the mats. She relented her grip since Natia was where she wanted to be anyway as she flopped flat on her back with a dazed groan.

“Whatsa matter? Never met a proper swampass before!?” Natia laughed mockingly.

She paddled both hands on her butt cheeks, showily wobbling them on Manda’s face.

Manda just couldn’t find the momentum to stand up to the blitzing shortstack. Natia got up before she could even try, dragging Manda up to all fours by her hair.

“N-no… fuckin’... hold on,” she groaned, pawing at the hand stuck in her hair.

Natia had no such interest. She just kicked Manda in the belly, knocking the wind out of her before slamming her face into the nearest turnbuckle. Manda bounced off it with another dazed groan, slumping back into the corner with her arms resting on the ropes. The goblin just backed off far enough to rush her again, throwing her compact little weight into a bodyslam that smashed her tits into Manda’s face like some incoming airbags. She grunted and flopped around before falling into a limp sitting position, barely keeping from lying flat in her dumbstruck state.

“So much for humies being such big shots! Looks like gobs are still the best while you’re just overgrown losers built for us to have somethin’ to punch in the goodies~!” Natia goaded her, stepping back and sticking her fingers up in a mocking L shape on her forehead. It was backwards, of course, but her point still got across.

“Now let’s finish you off, biggy boots! Ain’t nobody left to help ya when you got a gobby all over ya!”

“Wait… ugh… no… gobby,” Manda mumbled as the goblin came rushing back at her.

She wound up for a field goal kick to her crotch when there was suddenly a radiant flash of light. It was neon green and Manda took a second for her eyes to focus once it faded. There was a fleshy smacking sound as she realized there was another goblin that had appeared in between them. The new one was still falling in midair, which had left Nat at eye level with her falling butt. Much like Manda had done to her earlier, Natia grunted as it was muffled by a faceful of goblin ass.

The intercepting goblin landed sitting on Natia’s face. The opponent beat her fists and heels on the mats ranting something beneath her as the new challenger looked up at Manda in confusion. She had freckles, blue hair, some tribal animal skins, and a big pair of glasses that gave her away. Manda recognized the last goblin to beat her ass.

“Holy cow! Manny! Long time no see!” Gobby laughed, adjusting her spectacles.

“Gobby!? What are you…?”

Manda grimaced and went to her phone. She tapped through and found a blinking bar around her contact listing with the dorky goblin. She grunted and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“You mean to tell me I can summon you anytime I want to help gang up on people?”

“Well, not ANY time. I happened to be free when I heard you call me for a tag. Plus it’s not like I’m worth too much. I got a quick cooldown, but I’m still a Level 1 goblin. You’re a wrestler, so you’ve got that Hash Tag app after all… you’ve probably got way stronger summons already if you’ve been making friends with folks all this time.”

Manda frowned at her phone again. She had Gobby and Suki the cyclops as the only ones besides her party members. She had frankly done her best to forget most of what she’d gone through in Wrestle Kingdom rather than create memories and friends with the various monsters and princesses and shopkeepers that beat her ass.

“I’m just picky, I guess,” she lied.

Gobby shrugged, just for her eyes to go wide. Nat chomped down on the butt in her face, making her jump up and grab her booty with a shriek. The chunkier goblin grabbed her around the waist as she rose up, suplexing Gobby and sending her glasses flying as her loincloth flew up around her hips. Gobby let out a listless groan as she remained dumped upside down.

“Mayyybe call me for a ref job next time?” she groaned before she vanished in another flash of light.

“Ugh! Just a lucky shot from your helper,” Nat spat.

“And even that’s hidin’ behind a gobbo! You humans ain’t shit as a the wrestle!”

Manda checked her phone again. There was a little cooldown bar circling Gobby’s contact, but it didn’t look like it would restore in time for her to use her in this match. She still had Suki, but she had to assume the giant sumo cyclops wouldn’t last as long or come back as quickly when she was able to manhandle all three of her party members at once. She wanted to make it count.

She started to push herself back up on the ropes when a scowling Natia stormed over and slugged her in the stomach. Manda huffed and doubled over, lowered closer to her opponent’s height. Nat grabbed her by the neck and dropped to the nats, spiking her chin down on her shoulder in a sudden stunner. Manda crumbled to the mats again as the snickering goblin shot a few kicks into her ribs for good measure. She finally stomped and ground her heel on Manda’s aching crotch, making her shriek and grab at her invasive foot as she kicked around wildly.

“The big ones always squeak like a little mouse when ya hurt ‘em,” Nat gloated, but she paused as Manda grabbed her foot tighter.

She locked on her supernatural grip and pulled the stubby leg out from under her. Natia yelped as her loincloths flew up and she hit the mats as Manda sat up, shoving her boot into one of her plump jugs while yanking on her leg. Nat clawed and kicked at her, but her shorter limbs kept her from reaching anything useful in Manda’s simple hold.

“Suki! Tag in!” Manda shouted into her phone as a flash of orange appeared overhead.

“Another unworthy opponent!” the hearty voice laughed as the sumo cyclops’ wide, tall shadow cast over the wrestlers.

Nati’s jaw dropped looking up at the massive orange woman looming over her. She adjusted her mawashi before she leapt into the air to come crashing down in a colossal belly flop.

“Hey! Hey, Suki watch it with those-!” Manda tried to warn her but she was already in midair.

The huge cyclops was clearly more about mass than accuracy, so her flying body slam still caught Manda in the area just enough while she squashed the goblin. A fat orange titty smack Manda across the face, knocking her silly and knocking her flat with a fleshy slap. It was at least better that she was tittyslapped away rather than completely buried beneath Suki’s huge gut that shook the ring as she landed. Only her purple pigtails could be seen peeking out on one side of the huge sumo wrestler.

“HA! It was an honor to stand in the same ring as you again, my old friend,” Suki said with a broad smile on her face.

She either winked or just blinked at Manda as she boosted herself back up and vanished in a flash. Natia was laid out on the mats where they appeared to have caved in slightly, and the goblin’s limbs were so splayed out that she looked like she would have been a cartoon pancake or a puddle of gore in any other setting. She could barely keep her eyes open as the lady four times her size in either direction finally got off of her.

“Where’s that big mouth now, skank?!” Manda hissed as she crawled over and grabbed Nat by the leg.

She hooked it and leaned into a pin, delighted to feel how completely limp the limb was. She slapped the mat for the undisputed 3-count and the bell rang, making the ring vanish around them. Manda’s dulled ache appeared to replace her pain and dizziness along with her clothes as Natia sighed, throwing up her hands.

“Okay. We give. You can have the prisoner,” the goblin conceded.

“Damn right we can!” Manda gloated.

“Didn’t count on me having a few tricks up my sleeves. One of which weighed half a ton and almost beat all three of our asses…”

“Oh definitely not,” Nat admitted, rubbing a sore spot on her neck.

“But I knew you’d pull out something in the end. We had to lose one way or the other, so I kept giving you openings.”

Manda’s smug expression dropped.

“Wait… you had to lose? Like it was rigged that whole time?”

“Not… exactly. Y’see, our squad’s what we call the Guardians of Jobierre. We worship the goddess of famous losses and theatrics. Nothing pleases her more than losing a close match or making it look good…”

Manda groaned as she buried her face in her palms.

“Oh my god… you’re a cult full of jobbers?” she groaned, remembering what little actual wrestling lingo she knew from her friends.

The goblin nodded. Manda groaned and slumped her shoulders.

“Of course one of the few times I won it was fake…”

>I like it better when Manda loses anyway

“Oh shut up, chat.”

“Oh! It’s not fake,” Natia insisted.

“Yea, yea. Wrestling’s real. I get it,” Manda grumbled.

The goblin looked at her seriously and shook her head.

“No, you don’t get it. We were charged by the goddess herself to fail as much as we can for her. It’s her main form of worship.”

Manda gave her a puzzled look. She had heard the occasional character ramble about a goddess, but never as genuinely as this random goblin bounty hunter.

“She gathers strength in the realm of Wrestle Mana, influencing the world in ways beyond our understanding. She rewards her followers and punishes those who displease her, operating in small… usually fucked up and accidental ways, honestly. But she’s a big deal!”

Manda folded her arms as she scowled down at the goblin. “Well if you’re all her official losers, how did you catch this bandit?”

“Oh, she beat us up. Several times over. But she was in the part of our base where we go to respawn, so we kind of just kept coming at her until she got bored and gave up.”

Manda nodded. That all seemed to track.

“Well, I hate this place,” she said in a very level and patient tone. “So where is she?”

The girls met up, confirming they had the same information about the cultists of Jobierre. The bounty hunters left the base out of what seemed like social obligation as the losers as the trio of humans went to the simple wooden door and pushed it open.

Inside, there was an Asian girl laying on the floor of a small bedroom. She looked bored as hell as she fiddled on her cellphone much like Manda and the others’. She had wavy, boyishly short black hair that almost reached her shoulders and skin a couple shades more tan than Manda’s pale complexion. She was lean and athletic, built in smaller but more solid muscle than Tess. She wore tight leggings with a red scarf around her neck that trailed after her as she moved. She had martial arts bandages wrapped around her forearms and she wore a tubetop-like sporting gear with some tight shorts. A modest chest bulged out beneath her top as she rolled over to glance at them like a lazy cat barely acknowledging them.

“Uh… hi. You’re the MMA Bandit, right? The one stuck in the video game?” Manda asked.

The other human stared at her blankly, but her eyes widened a little. Manda held up her hands peacefully and stepped closer.

“Cuz we’re from the outside and we’re trying to get out. We wanted to help you get-”

The new girl was on her in a flash. She pounced and pulled on her arm wraps, unfurling it into a long strip that she wrapped around one of Manda’s wrists. She maneuvered around her in an instant, pulling the strap to force Manda’s arm around her own neck. She gagged as the bandit kicked the back of her leg and forced her to her knees as she choked noisily in front of her. Mollie started to flinch towards her, whether out of concern or jealousy, but Tess raised a hand for her to wait as she watched curiously.

[That’s interesting. I can actually hurt you without starting a match… I guess you really are humans.]

“What did she say?” Mollie asked quietly, looking at Tess after she spoke in what seemed like gibberish to her.

“I think that’s Chinese… maybe Korean?” Tess offered. She shrugged. “Nothing I understand anyway. I don’t see why all the players would have to be from America, after all.”

“Who cares!? Get her off me!” Manda gagged.

The bandit shrugged and released it on her own, letting Manda gasp in fresh air. She rewrapped her bandages and looked at the others.

[Good to meet someone actually interesting around here. I got bored and just started beating everyone up when all they’d talk about is wrestling and prophecies. I’m Mingxia. Good to meet you. Now does anyone here speak Mandarin?]

“Yea, we’re gonna have some trouble with this one…” Tess muttered.

She gestured at herself, tapping her chest.

“I am Tessa. This is Mollie. That is Manda,” she simplified slowly before motioning out towards her expectantly.

Ming’s eyebrows raised as she too realized their situation. She smiled brightly. She was glad to leave the game after how long she’d been in here, but the idea that she was the only one who spoke her language in the group was feeling pretty interesting. It would be tough to explain her situation; that she was a competitive hardcore gamer and the “thief” equivalent of a character class in her MMA fighter build. She was also naturally impish and a bit of a troll, so she was curious to see how she could mess with them along the way to escaping.

[I get it… Tessa is the hot one,] she said, pointing to follow their lead.

[Mollie is shy tits. Manda is the weak one.] She touched her chest like the others to at least give them her name. [Mingxia. Or… Ming.”

“Ming! Okay. We at least got that going!” Tess smiled as Manda got up rubbing her neck.

“Yea. Real pleasure so far,” Manda griped.

Ming just smiled blissfully back at her, feigning obliviousness. She waved at her innocently as Manda got another message on her menu.

“MINGXIA HAS JOINED THE PARTY!” was announced as a new marker for their quest popped up. Manda sighed and waved a hand at the doorway.

“Fine. Whatever. Welcome aboard to our non-stop journey of suck.”

[I got stuck in a single room for a week, so I cannot wait to see how bad we screw this up!] Ming chimed in a happy tone.

“That’s the spirit!” Tessa laughed, patting them both on the back as they went back on their adventures.