Goblin Baseball: The Mudhole Swamprats vs The Pale Valley Paladins (Patreon)

Another case where I got the intro and idea done, then sat on it for about a month. The top voted story but I needed to really think this one over. There’s a lot going on between divine powers and so many characters. This story’s fun as hell but it takes a lot of focus and a certain mindset to write, so hence the wait.

Kind of the same as last time, concept wise, as a bunch of cheating horny goblins in medieval fantasy baseball, only this time they have an excuse for why they’re fucking everyone!

The stadium was packed as it was for most bases ball games, particularly those featuring the Mudhole Swamp Rats. The foul-playing and largely attractive team of all goblins knew how to please a crowd while taking advantage of the lack of established rules in the game.

A large and harry bugbear in a suit slammed his fists on the announcers table in excitement. The unphased gorgon in the seat next to him bounced slightly off the floor before clopping back down.

“Welcome to the game, folks! Let’s get this started! Grimtooth here with my returning guest and bases ball historian, Lizzie Marcos. We’re all here and psyched to see The Pale Valley Paladins take on the fan favorite Mudhole Swamp Rats. What can we expect to see here, Liz?”

The sharply dressed green woman adjusted her glasses with one of the snakes that made up her hair.

“More than likely, a rather one-sided game. Which team is going to be on which side of the slaughter is the real question.”

“Pretty big call for somethin’ you’re that unsure about.”

“The Swamp Rats have the odds in their favor, given their track record, but the Paladins aren’t to be underestimated. Their team is made up of crusaders as a tea-building exercise. They’ve had plenty of time in this new age of peace, after all.”

“Sound like a bunch of nerds to me.”

“Then you don’t know paladins, Mr. Tooth. Even if you count out their gods’ blessings, their level of dedication makes them committed athletes. And husbands…”

“That reminds me,” Grimtooth added. “Did you style your snakes today?”

“As a matter of fact, I did. I’m glad someone’s noticed…”

The Pale Valley team was a varied bunch, but all larger and stronger looking than the Swamp Rats. It wasn’t the first time they’d been up against those kinds of odds, having taken down teams of ogres before with their same strategies. As far as Ruby Emerald, the seductive manager of the Rats, was concerned, they were just another team of chads to be swindled out of a win.

The Mudhole star pitcher took to the mound as the game started up proper. Gills Gadon had an okay arm on him, but considering that the rules of bases ball were written before guns and explosives were available, it was more important that he was a good shot.

Frederick Upcrust stepped up to bat first. The muscular human with a strong, thick-bearded jaw planted his feet and raised his bat readily. Behind him, Tatters Fluhd played catcher. The scarred and shaggy pink-haired goblin leaned over in her scrap armored uniform and whistled.

“Dang, stretch. Nice ass,” she commented.

“Tempt me not, thot,” Upcrust sniffed dismissively as he focused on the ball.

Tatters stuck her tongue out at him as Gills raised his blunderbuss on the mound. A booming crash went out and Upcrust swung, missing with a whiffing sound as the ball slammed into Tatters’ glove. She was knocked back a couple inches but she was long prepared for the various gunshots and explosions that came with being a goblin catcher.

“Strike one! You got this virgin, Gilly!” Tatters called back to Gills as she returned the ball.

He caught the sphere and blew some of the lingering smoke off the wad of leather before loading it back into his weapon. He shot at home base again, but there was a golden flash to Upcrust’s eyes. He pivoted sharply and slammed his bat into the ball, launching it sky high.

“Holy shit! That’s some reflexes!” Grimtooth yelled in disbelief.

“Truesight is one of many powers that paladins tend to use. It’s normally for tracking targets and sensing evil, but it’s just about as useful in hitting a speeding bases ball.”

“That ball’s out of the park! The Paladins are on the board at 1 nothin’! It must be the only time these good boy’s score at all!”

“Well, just look at the stats. The Pale Valley players have more hits per inning on their record than a lot of teams in their region.”

“True. Nobody’s going to argue that the Paladins don’t have more HP. We’ll have to wait and see how the Rats react to that kind of devastating start.”

Upcrust made his jog around the bases for the automatic point. He waved proudly to the crowd but as he rounded third, Matcher stuck out his foot. The greasy goblin boy was twitchy but quick, so his heavy boot was all it took to trip up Upcrust and send him head over heels into the grass. A referee imp teleported out to him in a puff of smoke.

“That’s a warnin’. No interfering with a homerunner,” the imp grumbled, giving a stern pointing finger at Matcher.

“Something tells me the ref demons are going to have their hands full on this one, Grim. More than usual with the Swamprats,” Lizzie commented.

“The rats usually have a way of skirting the edge on their rules. Normally not the kind of slipup their manager would let happen.”

The hosts looked down to the dugout and saw that Ruby Emerald was nowhere to be found. A bit of scanning for big blonde hair and a revealing business suit found her leaning on the wall of the Pale Valley dugout. The busty businesswoman could be seen winking and flirting from the stands, getting a few tempted glances before being shooed away by their monk of a manager.

“Looks like Ruby was too busy trying to get some secrets out of the paladins instead,” Lizzie noted.

“Or some secretions. She’s been known to let her libido distract her from a game. Or at least let it look like she has… there might be somethin’ goin’ on here. We see she’s signaling to the pitcher’s mound now, and it looks like she’s raising the stakes.”

Gills nodded and loaded another ball into his musket. The goblin awkwardly adjusted his pants before firing again, this time notably off-center rather than his usual rocketing down the middle method. Kire Evans, the half-elvish batter up next, swung expectantly and whiffed on the first two as it went wide.

With glowing eyes, his third swing finally cracked into the ball, sending it shooting into the outfield at an awkward angle. The half-elf took off like a shot along with the ball, which bounced over the ground before it connected with Jeedy Paug. Her huge beanbag chair breasts padded her from the impact and she hastily pulled it back out of her.

“It’s okay! Caught it with my nipple!” she called out before chucking it towards second base.

Kire had already slid into second and waited there, already safe before it was caught by Teante. She shrugged indifferently and tossed the ball back to the pitcher.

“That’s Kire safe on second, but Teante doesn’t seem too bothered. But hailing from parts unknown, she’s been famous for not quite matching the same attitude of the game.”

Nobody was quite sure where Teante Boosh came from. She had pale green skin with a lean waist, a wide and bouncy bosom, and exotically silver hair that ran down past her hips. She was always dolled up in fine makeup and some strong legs and thighs stood out in her cut-off pants she turned into shorts. She wore some gems and clips in her hair, and even as she waited for the next play she wiggled her hips like she was dancing to some song in her head.

“Kally mifush?” she asked Kire casually.

“I’m sorry?”

“Fush. Fush,” she repeated more assertively.

Gills launched another wildly wide shot, sparing the batter with a free ball. The elf just gave Teante a baffled stare. She pursed her lips impatiently at him, pinching her fingertips together as she looked for the words in Common.

“You… want a dance, elfy boy?”

Apparently she still knew those words! Kire blushed heavily at the offer.

“Oh! No, no thank you. I’m under vows of chastity and vigilance, so I couldn’t ooookay. You don't speak Common…”

Teante had either ignored him or misunderstood. She moved in closer until she was grinding on his leg, straddling it between her strong thighs. She batted her painted eyes up at him and tossed her head perfectly to swish her silvery hair all over. It fell over her cleavage and face at a perfect angle to draw his attention to her big pink eyes.

“Stilly voon, hand sim elfy boy,” she cooed, running her hands up his sides.

Kire shuddered hard. He was unfamiliar with the touch of a woman outside of a similarly vigilant comrade’s pat on the back. Certainly not that of an experienced dancer as she nuzzled her dainty button nose against his belly as she lifted up his shirt. The half-elf froze up as her warm breath blew over his stomach, trailing down his pants as she tugged on his waistband next.

“Hoo boy… The Nine guide me,” he mewled as Teate reached down his pants.

Her nimble little hand found his shaft and purred with delight.

“Big, huh?” she chimed as she leaned into him.

The fit elf crumbled as she pushed him back. The faint shouts of his coach were tough to hear anyway, but his mind was completely elsewhere as the exotic dancer climbed up his body like an exotic cat stalking him.

“Ball four! Walk!” the umpire called.

Kire squeaked helplessly as their runner took first. The rules meant he wouldn’t be allowed to move until they got another runner out on the field. Until then, he was at Teante mercy, stuck on the base as she slinked her way up him. Her sultry gaze came with the still hypnotically rhythmic wiggle of her hips, to the point where Kire felt like he could hear the music she was dancing to in his head…

“Sali, elfy boy,” she cooed as she plopped her hips on his chest.

Teante turned to face his lap, bending over so her shorts rode high up her ass cheeks. The green bus kept bouncing along, even flexing individually to her beat as she slid off her top. Her plump little shortstack tits fell into his lap as she finished pulling down his pants, wrapping the warm green jugs around her. Teante softly muttered some praising foreign words before wrapped her mouth around his cockhead, replacing her words with soft, wet suckling noises.

Over on first base, Armond the half-orc tried to remain focused on home plate. The tall and broad man with olive skin and thick facial features was trying intently not to look at second base, and most of all trying to ignore the flirty first baseman that had buried herself into his lap. Polly Amor, the orange-braided goblin with a big friendly smile and an even bigger booty, had started bouncing her massive ass in his lap until she had his struggling erection caught between her cheeks.

“Wow, you’re cute~! Whatcha up to after the game? Or during the game? I’m not really going anywhere,” the gabby goblin rambled, smiling straight up towards the half-orc.

“Just trying to finish the game,” Armond muttered.

He was finding it hard to maintain a running stance when his hardon was so prominent.

“Uh huh. So anyway, Armond right? That sounds kinda like Amor. That’s my last name. If we got married, it would be really cute if you took my name, right?”

She pushed her big soft ass back and gave it a slap. The jiggling that resulted made it vibrate like wild, bouncing each cheek in a wild twerk for attention. Armond’s eyes had to dart away from the batter to look down at her ridiculously attractive booty. Polly just grinned up at him, bending over until she was touching her toes.

“Y’know, people think it’s easier to touch your toes when you’re this short cuz it’s closer, but it’s not. It’s easier cuz we’re flexible as heck. Wanna see me do this?!”

Polly stood back up and pulled her leg up with her. She bent into a vertical split, her one leg going straight up in the air. Her crotch with its prominent wet patch pushed up against Armond’s bulge, making the paladin shudder to have her soaking wet goblin pussy less than an inch away from his manhood.

“That’s some tight coverage from the basemen!” Grimtooth barked out.

“But there’s Belmont with a nice hit to midfield! He’s off to first…”

“With nowhere to go, Grim! Both the first and second base runners are blocking up the field!”

The audience was cheering things on regardless as the two paladins on the field were balls deep in goblin girls. Armond was on top of Polly, pounding her ass from behind as the thick cheeks padded each thrust. He pulled on her braids to get deep in her booty, making her squeak passionately as she bit her lip and rolled her eyes. Kire was a shuddering mess as he stared at Teante’s dancing hips while her tongue expertly ran circles around his shaft and head. They soon grunted and shot their hot loads into their respective goblin partners, the stranded temptation proving too much for them.

Tik the glasses-wearing outfielder came rushing in, tagging the ball against the half-elf’s back. He barely noticed as she whirled around and threw the ball to first. Polly was still panting and jiggling away as she threw up her glove, catching it and then tapping the awkwardly waiting Belmont.

“Amazing! A triple play!” Lizzie blurted in a burst of excitement.

“Just like that, the Rats turn the tables and they’re up to bat. They’ll have to get past some sharp pitching by Melissa McChapel, but they’ve shown they can outwit where the Paladins can outmuscle.”

The teams swapped out, but the two horny runners showed some particular sluggishness as they returned to the dugout. They swapped some brief words before their coach pointed them towards the dugout where they collapsed in exhaustion.

“Looks like there’s some interesting results back at the Pale Valley dugout. Kire and Armond look beat for some players in the second inning,” Grim pointed out.

“Don’t forget, those are paladins. They’re in ok shape, but as we saw with their truesight, a lot of what makes them such a powerhouse on the field is their holy magic.”

“And I guess there’s nothin’ holy about fuckin’ a goblin in the middle of a crowded arena. The Swamprats show once again that they came ready with a strategy!”

---

The second inning was similarly devastating for Pale Valley. They struck out Potz, their chubby outfielder, but Tik “The Timebomb” Duggins was up next. The geeky goblin in braces and glasses didn’t look like much, but their catcher took a few generous steps back away from the batter’s box. The fair-skinned brunette pitcher Melissa wound up and threw another ball, just as Tik’s bat started beeping. She swung it and the landmine she’d attached to her bat connected with the ball perfectly, causing a massive explosion to decimate homebase. The ball went shooting into the lower stratosphere and Tik was found flat on her back in the crater.

Another imp appeared, tossing a fresh first base into place and casting a quick Shape Earth spell to replace the missing field.

“Homerun for the Swamprats,” he droned. “Score is 1 to 1!”

The crowd cheered as a few other players dragged Tik back to the dugout. With their explosives geek out of the way, it wasn’t looking much better as Brinene Moldigob went up to bat. The famous wildcard of a goblin had shaggy blue hair over her eyes, wore overalls over her uniform, and constantly had mud-stained feet as she refused to wear shoes. She spit on the ground and flashed a gap-toothed grin at the pitcher.

Melissa managed to get a strike on her before the swamp bumpkin smashed the ball, sending it flying in a long grounder into the outfield. She ran like crazy for first base, her impressive power and speed all shown off in short succession.

“Another power hit from Moldigob!” Grim exclaimed. “That girl’s got the arm of a storm giant on her!”

Brin reached first base with ease, just to stop her rapid advance on the spot. She flashed another toothy grin at the handsome blonde manning the base, leaning on his solid leg as he gave her a confused look.

“Golly, but you’re a purdy one. You ever gotcher dick sucked by a gal who’s a chili-eatin’ champion AND expert harmonica player?”

She ran her thick tongue over her lips, dipping a bit into her tooth gap when it passed over.

“Looks like she has the brainpower of a giant too,” Lizzie sighed. “Famously easy to distract.”

Brin had seemingly forgotten about the game as she hastily dropped the blonde baseman’s pants, inviting herself in and mashing her face into his shaft. She slurped up the soft cock that quickly stiffened up between her lips. Her mouth swished him around in her mouth, milking his precum out between her lips, teeth and tongue.

“Well the pitcher’s got their hands on the ball again. I guess Moldigob decided to forget about the ball entirely,” Lizzie shrugged.

“Depends on what ball you mean. Looks like she’s paying a lot of attention to some of them…”

Brin’s head bobbed rapidly back and forth, slurping and drooling over herself as she looked up through her veiling bangs. She smiled goofily around her mouthful of human cock, making him tremble as he couldn’t abandon his post to avoid her. With a long, noisy slurp, she drew her head back and squealed in delight as a thick burst of cum shot over her face and hair. She licked her lips noisily as the first baseman fell to one knee, looking almost deflated in his weakened state.

By then, Lyre Squax had stepped up to bat. The curvy, pouty-lipped redhead who played in high heels smirked confidently, shaking her hips to get ready while pointing deep into the stands to call her homerun.

“It looks like Squax is calling a homer,” Grimtooth noted. “Which, given her history of cheating, trickery and subterfuge means the opposite…”

Melissa threw another fast ball, but the speed didn’t matter much when all Lyre did was hold her bat out for a bunt. The ball bounced off harmlessly, leaving the infield scrambling to recover it. Melissa ran off with her tits bouncing with her high-heeled steps and Brin bolting to the next base.

The swampy hillbilly ran right into the second baseman, a stocky dwarf with a short and finely groomed beard. Brin stopped in her tracks once again as she licked her lips, slurping up some of the leftover cum on her face.

“Ooh, another studder!” she gushed.

“How’s your whole churchy deal feel about sloppy seconds? Cuz if that’s still against your thingy, I hears you can do it in the butt and still be a virgin…”

Both girls made it safely to their bases as Lyre patted the winded human on first base on the head.

“Don’t worry, precious. I know she already got to you, the greedy little dope. You’re already off the to-do list.”

Jeedy came up to bat, and once again her huge tits paid off. Melissa faced the dilemma that all pitchers did when it came to Miss Paug; the incredibly tiny space provided that wasn’t a bean-ball hitting her boobs or a ball well outside the strike zone. While the pitcher figured that out, Brin had pounced on her dwarven overseer. He was strong enough to stay standing, but she just latched onto him like an affectionate monkey as she kissed and humped him wildly. Her rapidly slamming hips mashed into his crotch while she lifted her feet, letting her muddy toes pull down his pants. She rammed her pussy down onto his cock, letting out a delighted gurgle as his thick dwarven shaft was stuffed inside her.

“Hooey~! Don’t let nobody talk bad about you dorfers! Ya’ll’re hung like a soup can!”

Melissa had played things overly carefully, leaving Brin plenty of time to ride Galrin’s cock. He was too shocked by the whole thing to resist as he finally shuddered, cumming inside the stripped hillbilly goblin’s pussy. Lyre came up behind her and tapped her shoulder.

“Hey, Mold. Jeedy got walked, so we get a free base,” she reminded her.

“Ooh! Thank ya, Lye! Y’know how I get when I’m playin’ with my guts fulla jizz.”

“I certainly do,” Lyre sighed, rolling her eyes. She eyed the winded dwarf curiously. “Don’t suppose she left me any, hmm?”

With the bases loaded and the game tied, Yeeyee Roawzer stepped up to the plate. The scrappy street girl with a dark blue sidecut scowled down the pitcher, clearly ready to start some trouble one way or another. A couple testing throws in and she connected with the ball, popping it straight up into the air. The catcher moved in to grab it but Yee stopped in her tracks and slammed her foot backward, nailing the guy under his vest and in the balls before she started running. He went down clutching his crotch as Melissa moved in to try and salvage the easy out. Unfortunately, that took her right in the runner’s path and Yeeyee only picked up speed.

“Death from belowww!” she shrieked, leaping into the air and landing a perfect double drop kick into Melissa’s crotch as well.

The athletic woman gawked and crossed her legs, dropping to her knees in pain and horror. The rest of the girls went on running and got their bases, advancing one more again.

“Oof! If they’re anything like a scar-bearer in my old tribe, you do not get in the way of a former ganger. You end up looking like an obstacle, or more likely an enemy that snuck up on you,” Grim rambled.

Yee reached first base and gave a mocking jerkoff gesture at the downed pitcher. Melissa managed to hobble back to the pitcher’s mound, but she could see that Brinene was already climbing down the goliath third baseman’s pants. She was nothing but a flurry of limbs and her head popping out of the waist of his pants, leaking precum off her mouth or hands as she squirmed to make herself comfortable without letting go of his dick. The Swamprat’s horny scout soon had a spurt of jizz shooting up out of his pants as the burly baseman struggled to stand up with her still buried in his pants.

A whistle blew and an imp appeared overhead. He snapped his fingers and everyone on the field froze in place by magic.

“Alright, that’s a timeout called by the Paladins. Do your whatever,” he droned.

“Looks like Brother Bruun is making some changes to the lineup. He’s swapping out all his basemen with some backups,” Lizzie observed.

“It must be what the Rats were counting on. Once they give up their vows of obsta… chast… er, not fuckin’, they give up their powers until they can renew their oaths. She needs fresh troops out there that can work at their full potential if she’s going to stop this grand slam in the making.”

With the changes made, the imp snapped his fingers again. Time started up again and things Natchy Vindada stepped up to bat, the glammed up goblin with slicked back purple hair and the infamous daughter of the even more infamous crime boss. It didn’t intimate Melissa, but she was still coping with the pain from the recent lowblow.

“C’mon, pinky! Big bad humies can’t take a friendy shot in the sludger!? Be a man and chuck your balls in my face already!” Natchy shouted at her pitcher, heckling her from home plate.

Melissa scowled and focused on her job, winding up and whipping a basic strike past her.

“I said in my face! You just tryin’ to tickle my tits, ya paladyke!? I can cum harder than you can throw!” the gangster gob taunted.

Melissa glared back and whipped out a few more speedy throws. One ball and a few strikes later, she had struck out the mouthy shorty. The athletic paladin stood upright and threw out her hands in challenge to Natch.

Natchy just smiled back and waved. “No prob. I did my job. Good game, bitch!”

Melissa was confused until she heard the assorted grunts and groans behind her. She looked back to see that every one of the new basemen were heatedly fucking a goblin.

Brin was keeping up her record, turned upside down and being mating pressed by an orc paladin on third base. She had wrapped her legs around his waist and dragged him down onto her, her belly bulging as his green dick rammed her into the dirt like a piledriver. The drooling hillbilly couldn’t have seemed happier with the situation.

“That’s it! Give it, boy! Gimme that good shit and gush up my guts!” she rambled.

Just behind her at second base, Lyre had charmed the fit young squire into lifting her up in his arms. He pounded her from behind, holding her thick hips to ram her like his personal onahole. Her sloppy pussy squished rapidly around his firm cock, biting her lip as she moaned and cooed ditzily.

“Ooh, sir knight! Use that big strong sword!” she cooed, her boobs jiggling up and down with each thrust.

The bubbly-looking goblin caught the staring pitcher’s eyes and winked back at her before grabbing one of the squire’s hands, forcing it to grab and grope her tits out of her top.

“Ya call that fuckin’!? C’mon and act like you actually know how to use that dick, ya virgin pussy!” Yeeyee ranted.

The squat street girl had taken the elven first baseman by the collar, dragging him down to her level. She kissed him rapidly, planting darker green lipstick marks over his face. The panting paladin mindlessly humped her like she ordered, milking him between her squeezing tight thighs. Her hips bumped up as she kept bullying him into humping, snapping “Harder! Faster!” like an impatient drill sergeant to keep the pure player going.

With a series of sharp grunts and delighted squeals, the three players quickly nutted inside the goblins. The abundant cum spilled out past their tight green pussies, the big men too much for the shortstack snatches. The smell of sex surrounded the mound and lingered at each base.

“Would ya look at that! Half the Paladins team is totally and literally fucked!” Grimtooth laughed.

“That’s half your team at half power. Not a good look for the team, especially with the Swamprats’ power hitter coming up.”

Vanilly Salts, the former pitfighter turned star batter stepped up, thumping her bat on the plate. It sent a firm ripple through the ground as the fit, shaved short brunette grinned back at the pitcher. Melissa bit her lip and focused before throwing a curveball to try and distract the powerhouse.

Even that failed as she slammed the ball, sending it flying like a rocket up centerfield. It whizzed past Melissa’s head and went right for the second baseman, but he could only feebly raise his arm let alone react fast enough to catch it. Melissa slumped in dismay as the ball was left to pick up speed and altitude until it flew right into the stands.

“And that’s a grand slam!” Lizzie blurted. “Just like that the Swamprats are up by 4 and have drained more than half the Paladins’ players!”

Vanilly waved proudly overhead as the other girls started to run their way home. The catcher tugged on her shirt to stop the tomboy brutish goblin for a moment.

“Hey, uh… can I get some of that stuff too on the way back?” he muttered.

There was another whistle as the imp warped back into the field. He jerked a thumb at the catcher.

“That’s it. I only warn once, pal. Interfering with the homerunner, you’re outta the game.”

The crowd burst into cheers and boos as another Paladin player was taken out. The Paladins coach rubbed their forehead a moment before flagging over another imp official. A buzzer sounded a moment later.

“And that’s it! The Paladins have forfeited the game,” Lizze spelled out.

“With at least six players who can’t catch a ball and more than that injured or disqualified. It’s a smart move. Especially longterm, rather than have to retrain and re-bless your entire team if this kept going.”

The girls jumped up from their various spots, cheering and rushing out to hug and celebrate. It didn’t last for long before they started whistling and catcalling after the retreating Paladins, who were at least able to focus their comrades out of taking them up on any more lewd offers.

“Another win on the record for the Swamp Rats, and a sudden bump in the road for the Pale Valley Paladins,” Lizzie summed up.

“It goes to show the effectiveness of strategy in the face of a seemingly stronger team.”

“Also shows the help of being a bunch of horny little cheaters armed with explosives,” Grimtooth chuckled. “And all power to ‘em! Wish there were more teams like that out in bases ball.”

“I’m not sure how long the teams would survive if there was more than one team like the Swamprats,” Lizzie corrected calmly.

“But they’re certainly a breath of fresh air. Until next time, this has been your scrying network play by play with Lizzie Marcos and Grimtooth. Brought to you by Hammerstone’s Heal All. The official Bases Ball League healing potion. Please drink your potions responsibly.”