The Goblin and The Necromancer 2.5: Welcome Wagon (Patreon)

Another quickly thrown together piece that I thought up in like a minute. More of the zombie goblin Rek trying her best to be an idiotic helper. I threw in two of her buddies to help out, since a minotaur dick can be too much for one goblin to handle (not that they wouldn’t try). As is my way with stupid throwaway characters, you might see more of the hyper and dopey Ping and the sleepy ditzy Wob in the future. Also more gradual hints of how the fuck this dungeon works that I’m making up as I go.

Rek paced back and forth in front of her fellow goblins. The pale undead girl did her best to look important but she marched too quickly, looking more frantic than important.

“Aright, girls! The boss has a real important talk comin’ in today,” the crudely dressed shortstack instructed. Two more dirty, slightly rank-smelling goblins sat in front of her in the dungeon break room, seated on a stool and upturned bucket. The short-haired one picked her nose while the other was daydreaming and playing with one of her boobs absentmindedly.

“So it’s my duty as lord Aderand’s number one minion to make sure he has a good visit! Ady works real hard for us… I mean boss works real hard! So we’ll make negotiations with the new guy go as quick and easy as possible by softenin’ him up first. By which I mean makin’ him real hard. Ya get me?”

One of the living goblins raised her hand. She was skinny with perky little tits, her skin a very dark shade of green like wet moss. She had short, scruffy red hair and a pair of fangs poking from her upper lip.

“Yes! Ping!” Rek recognized.

“I don’t get ya,” she admitted with a blank stare.

“Sex ‘em! Hump his rudder so he can’t steer straight when the talkin’ comes around.”

“Ohhhh,” she cooed with a nod. That much she understood. Rek was scatterbrained, but she was fairly bright compared to most goblins.

The third one raised her hand as well. She was more bottom-heavy than the others with a wide set of hips that poked out from either side of her loincloth. She had long raven hair full of knots, dust and tangles, framing her half-lidded eyes. One pointed ear stuck upward, the other hanging lower from the weight of several small stud earrings.

“Permission to ask granted, Wob.”

“Hey. Yea, um... so who’s this talky guy again?” she asked in her listless and sleepy-sounding voice.

“Well remember how our minotaur quit labyrinth duty last week to go open a blacksmith?”

Wob and Ping shook their heads.

“Well he did! So boss is hiring a new one today. Guy named Argos is supposed to meet with the lord to talk terms.”

Both goblins raised their hands. Rek pointed to Wob.

“Are minotaurs the ones that are, like… horsies? Or the fish?”

“Those is centaurs and mermaids. Minotaurs are the cow ones.”

Wob and Ping’s eyes lit up at that.

“Oh! Why didn’t you say so!” Ping chimed happily, hopping off her bucket.

“Right right. Cuz cows got big thingers, right? For makin’ big babies with?”

“You’re thinking bulls, but I like your enthusiasm!” Rek corrected. “Now let’s ride ‘em, cowgirls!”

The trio of goblins hastily ran out of their break room in the dungeon. Rek went to a few wrong doors before she finally threw open one where a burly, black-furred figure with shoulder armor and a green robe that split open above his waist sat in a sturdy wooden chair. He was at one end of a small table with his arms crossed when he looked towards the assembly of tiny women.

“Hey! You’re Argos, right?” Rek asked as the other two goblins scampered eagerly past her.

“Yea. I’m here for the labyrinth gig. I wanted to show up early to make a-”

“Perfect! How’d you like to bang a couple goblins in the meantime!?” Rek blurted out.

The bull-headed man snorted ponderously. “Are you sick or somethin’?”

“Undead,” Rek explained curtly. “But I’m totally fine now.”

“…yea, okay.”

“Hooray!” Wob and Ping cheered beside him. They threw his robe up over his thighs and took a moment to marvel at the hanging bull dick between his fuzzy legs. They drooled at the sight while Rek pushed her way past the stunned goblins, bumping their shoulders to urge them forward.

“Come on! Dicks are for sittin’ on, not for lookin’!” Rek ordered confidently. She led the charge in climbing up Argos’ leg and sitting in his lap, plopping her round little ass down near the base of his cock. The bull man grunted as his thick dick started to perk up beneath her, even lifting her a half inch higher as its angle rose.

“You run a little cold, don’t ya?” Argos asked, glancing down at the black and white-haired goblin.

“Yea, but I warm up easy. And you got a real hot one here!” Rek wiggled her hips and ground her bare snatch on top of his rod from beneath her loincloth. The tingle of her cool pussy juice starting to rub into his hardon got Argos’ shaft growing thick and hard in no time, pushing straight out ahead of him and the goblin in his lap.

“Yea, that’s a big one!” Ping noted as she held out her hands side by side, trying to measure it out just by her hand gestures.

“It’s why I wanted more than one of us. If I took all of that myself, it’d just pop my head off!” Rek warned. “So hop on, already. This’ a three gob job!”

The others gladly scrambled up and onto Argos’ lap, the three goblins sitting in a row along his cock. Wob planted her wide bottom at the base, hooking her legs around the dick nearly the size of her torso. It left her feet teasing at his heavy balls as she planted her hands on his fuzzy chest for leverage, arching her head up to kiss the minotaur’s much bigger mouth. Rek went right for the head, planting her lightweight body on the end to grind her slick goblin pussy over the tip until it was drooling her juices past his slit. Ping squeezed into the middle, bouncing excitedly to keep his taut dick bobbing beneath them to keep all three of them aroused.

With the goblins cooing and moaning as they shared his dick, Argos was starting to appreciate his new job already. He let his broad hands wander over the goblins, squeezing the assorted tits and asses in front of him. Their combing grinding kept them all jiggling, especially when he’s pinch firmly on Rek’s nipples or spank Wob’s broad behind. The long-haired goblin purred at that and turned away from him, shifting over his dick as her bare little feet planted against his balls to offer her ass up for more. Any coolness that came with Rek’s undead body was quickly compensated for by the other two warm little bodies huddled in next to her. The bull’s nostrils flared as the pungent but slightly addicting musk of unwashed goblin hit his nose.

“Ah! We got a leak, girls!” Rek reported with a giggle. She leaned in and planted a noisy smooch on the tip of Argos’ cock, slurping up a glob of his thick precum in the process.

“Ooh! Gimme some!” Ping demanded. She shouldered Wob back towards Argos, letting her fall back into his chest. She flashed an awkward smile up at him as Ping scurried around in front of his dick. She nuzzled her face into his tip, seeming to revel in the fact she was smearing his clear pre over her nose and lips.

“Hey,” Wob said dizzily, her eyes still half-lidded but keen with an obvious lust laying beneath them. “I’m uh… gonna get some of that too. Be right with ya.”

She hopped off his lap, stopping by his leg to plant an affectionate smooch to one of his balls. The big bull groaned, making her giggle and bury her face into his sack. She sniffed rapidly like a curious dog, drinking in his musk before she seemed to remember why she’d hopped off in the first place.

The goblin trio stuffed their faces into Argos’ cockhead, kissing and licking eagerly to encourage his steady flow. They lapped up whatever they could and sucked on his hardon whenever there wasn’t enough, milking his dick as Rek stayed mounted on top of it. She hugged her arms and legs around it like some kind of horny sloth, refusing to let go as she smooched and ground on the bull cock. Her rubbing body milked him plenty as her fat tits rested on either side of his dick while her raised ass spread out her pussy and asshole for him to rub and toy with by hand. Just below, Wob and Ping had no problem rolling their lips and tongues together as they made out with each other with the hefty dick in the middle.

Argos gave a hardy grunt as he shot his load, gushing it into all three of the goblins’ faces. The strong wave of seed splattered into their faces, nearly bowling Ping and Wob off their feet. Rek even gave a startled squeak as she was point blank for the first taste of his load, knocking her head off her shoulders to bounce away like a football smeared in paste.

“Ah shit. Did I just kill her with my dick?” Argos managed to hiss through grit teeth.

“Nah she just do that,” Ping noted quickly as she greedily drank up his cum. She licked off her fingers while Wob purred and crossed her arms, loving how it felt running down her perky round tits. She rubbed one cummy hand between her legs, twitching and grinning as she smeared it inside her pussy. Rek’s detached head even reached its tongue out, lapping up the mess on her cheeks and face.

“Excuse me, ladies,” a serious voice spoke up from behind them. The cum-caked goblin girls looked up to see their leader Aderand standing in the doorway. The human necromancer’s arms were cross patiently.

“Were you quite through?”

“Just finished!” Ping reported proudly as she went back to wiping off her stomach. “Got him all warmed up for ya, boss.”

Aderand gave a non-committal noise.

“Your girls do good work, sir. Very convincing,” Argos praised breathlessly.

“Good to hear. But it wasn’t my idea or my order.” The wizard looked pointed at Rek’s cummy, detached head.

“Takin’ the initiative for you, Ady!” she chimed, bouncing her head back towards her body as it slid off of Argos’ junk.

“You know how much I hate it when you do that,” Aderand scolded calmly. “And it’s not necessary, really. You.”

Argos looked up as the goblins slipped off him to finish cleaning themselves up by hand and tongue.

“500 gold a month and any family you wish can live in the underground with no harm to them. How does that sound?”

The bull stared back and did his best not to glance at the giggling and messy goblins.

“Sounds great, boss.”

“Welcome aboard. Hours are 9 to 6. You must provide your own axe. Rek, come on. Let’s clean you up before you start getting moldy.” The necromancer picked her up by the hair, holding her head backward so she could see and guide her body to follow him.

“See you on the job, Arg,” Ping cooed, waving back at the minotaur as she left the room. Wob went right behind her, if at a slightly different angle. She winked back at Argos, distracting her long enough to run face-first into the wall beside the door before correcting her course.