Your Favorite Healslut: Get Psyched (Patreon)

Another one I decided to wrap up once I realized the direction I wanted. I expand the roster by a few but it's really mostly about Patcher striking up a kinship with Psych. Also him being the young kid character of the group while having cake and eating it too by realizing they're all computer programs and not humans, so even Patcher who's probably in her early 30s mentally is about a year old in the real world setting. So that's my official take on that! Also just a few neat playable concepts included, like Psych being a strictly Specials based character while Night Shift is a flying shapeshifter healer.

“Ok… 3, 2, 1!” Patcher squeezed Ghost’s hand and jumped, pulling her up with her. They were near the peak of their jump when a ripple of static pumped through the world, rebooting Merc Squad so they teleported back to their default positions back on the ground. Patcher broke into giggles while Ghost rubbed her face.

“Ohhh crap. I never did that before. Agh, why did that hurt my teeth?”

“It’s fun, right? Does your nose itch too?” Patcher itched her nose with a grin. “I did it back when they installed voice chat and my hair was all super glitched out for like a half hour!”

“Well as much as I love doing stupid shit with you, we should go check on the rookies. Got three on the block today that just got loaded in.” She hooked a hand around Patcher’s waist to urge her out of their room. The mods had been pretty tight-lipped about who was being added to the team apart from that it would make them into a roster of an even 18. “If we’re lucky, they read the briefing and...”

“HAIL, VALHALLANS!? ARE YE READY TO DIE IN BATTLE!?”

“Fuck.”  Ghost went to her dresser and grabbed the folder that always had whatever documents she needed. She shook out the three files and thumbed through them as they walked off. “Okay, that explains it. Remember those teasers about Project Shieldmaiden?” She held the folder up to show Patcher a large block of ice.

“Oh that. The forums kept trying to pick that apart. They thought it was like, an ice user or something.”

“What the hell’s an ‘ice user?” Ghost asked incredulously.

“I dunno. Like… Mr. Freeze or the Ice King. Goes all fwoosh!” She gestured broadly out in front of her. “Yea. I totally don’t know.”

“Well it’s nothing like that. Her backstory is she’s a viking warrior who got thawed out by a research lab over in Germany. Same guys who were testing on Merc Squad’s number 17 and 18. Psych and Night Shift.” She passed Patcher another photo as they walked down. Two low shadowy figures were moving past two forced opened cages labeled with P and N.S.

“Pff! It says ‘penis!” Patcher giggled, pointing out the letters. 

“Yea, that sounds like the devs alright,” Ghost sighed. “You okay with there being another Healer?” The report showed them as a batch of a Healer, Tank and Defense units, and Patcher had been jumpy about when they added Pocket Rocket.

“Oh absolutely! I’m still the only one who can revive, right?”

Ghost let out a drawn out breath as a sputtering sigh. “Yep. Night flies around and shoots healing darts.”

“Yessss. Job security. ...but doesn’t that mean more people sit out on matches?”

“Teams are 6 players at default now, with settings for higher on the bigger maps.”

“Yesss!”

By the time they arrived in the briefing room, the team was already mingling with the newcomers. Shieldmaiden was obvious enough to spot. The woman was huge, even considering the size of their other teammates. Gladiator and Big Bolt had towered over most of them, but the muscular amazon of a woman in nothing but some leathers and a big of war paint stood almost as tall as Glad did in his power armor. The brawny redhead had a pair of thin and ornate braids running down her broad shoulders and onto her stunningly full breasts. She was grinning and laughing while clearly comparing height with Gladiator by the way she gestured over each of their heads. A huge shield of iron-wrapped wood and a wide crossbow were slung across her back, a handaxe on her hip.

Night Shift stood out in a much quieter way. She was carrying on a quiet conversation, ignoring everyone else as she talked with Dr. Dragon of all people. She wore a smooth dress, loose enough to expose a lot of her pale cleavage and long, skinny legs. Long purple hair was brushed over one eye, her face never expressing very much even as she spoke. Some long silver earrings and a pendant hung from her, each made from what seemed to be scrap metal. There was so much black going on that Patcher almost missed the fact that she had a large set of black, bat-like wings folded tightly behind her back, half-hidden by her long dyed hair. Black lipstick, black eyeliner, and a couple of ornate tattoos completed the somewhat monstrous goth look on the wiry young woman.

It wasn't clear where Psych was yet, so Patcher eagerly jumped up to Shieldmaiden first. "Hi! I'm Patcher!" she said cheerily, hoping she got there before anyone mentioned her nickname. "I'll be one of your Healers! If you ever need me, just give a toot on the ol' 'Need Healing' button. Oh, and this is my boss-slash-girlfriend Ghost Shot! She's super-"

Shieldmaiden's bemused smile crossed her face and only grew wider as she studied the little blonde. She suddenly grabbed her around the waist with both hands and hefted her off the ground, Patcher whooping in surprise. "Well what's this tiny sliver of a barmaid doing on the team!?" she asked with a thick but vague accent, somewhere between Swedish, German and maybe a touch of Irish. Shieldmaiden laughed and ruffled Patcher's hair, making her blush but laughing along with her. "I feel like I'm gonna break ye if I breathe too hard!"

"Yeaaa... well, I'm gonna be counting on you to protect me while we're out there. I just fix people up, so I can't really attack at all." Shield let go so that Patcher dropped and stumbled on her heels before getting able to stand again.

"Well we can't have that! What kind of a proper wife can't cleave a man in two!?" Shieldmaiden blurted. She took the hefty handaxe from her belt and shoved it into Patcher's hands.

"That's very thoughtful of HOOOOO BOY," Patcher grunted, struggling to hold up the thing in both hands let alone swing it. She tilted a few different directions before crumbling to her knees,

"There. Take it with me blessing. I won't be needin' it half as bad as you, by the looks of ya."

"I'm afraid that's not how it works here," Ghost said, taking the axe back from Patcher. Even she had to grunt to heft it up and hand it back to the Nordic amazon. "We all got our own styles and our own parts to play. But thanks. I can tell you're going to be a handful and more than worth the trouble."

"Maybe if you didn't fill your team with little broomstick women and half-fed boys," Shieldmaiden laughed. "It'll be a pleasure lookin' out for all of ya lads and lasses. And whatever that one is..." Shieldmaiden gestured at Pocket Rocket, the short alien sitting backwards on her chair and gawking at the redhead.

"I soooooo want to climb you," Pocket said in a loud whisper.

"I'll let you two sort that out," Ghost said with a shake of her head. “Best of luck out there.”

She let Shield get back to talking with the rest of the crew while she went off with Patcher. "You think you can handle that?"

"Oh yea! I'm not sure I'll be able to kiss her on the face a lot, but there's plenty of space everywhere else."

"Then you should see her when she's on the horse."

"She has a HORSE!?" Patcher asked, eyes going wide.

"Yup. Right here." Ghost patted a hand on her paperwork. "Ultimate summons a war horse that she can ride or just sic on people."

That is SUPER cool! ...but I'm not healing the horse," Patcher added quickly as they approached Night Shift. "But hi! I'm Patcher! It's so nice to meat another Healer!" She held out a hand and Night regarded her with an almost sleepy gaze.

"Yea." She put a hand limply into Patcher's, putting a slight weight into it rather than really shaking. She gave Patcher half a nod and proceeded to stare blankly few a few seconds with her dark green eyes.

"So uh... are you okay?" Patcher asked as her smile mixed with a wince.

"Oh yea. Great," Shift assured vacantly. She seemed to slowly and suddenly notice that Ghost was there was well and held out the same limp hand. Ghost shook it more firmly, hearing a mix of bubbling and crunching noises from it. Black fur started to sprout from the back of her hand and her painted nails started to curl into claws as the arm thickened, but it inexplicably reversed itself back to normal. "Sorry. It does that sometimes. You know how bat DNA is," she said as if she was talking about a very bland pidgeon she had noticed.

"Sure," Ghost said warily. "You just let us know if you need anything."

"Cool." Night Shift nodded distantly as Dr. Dragon patted her on the shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, Miss Shift. I have a Skin that's myself joined with reptile DNA, so I know a thing or two about changes..."

Patcher and Ghost excused themselves, not that Shift seemed to care. Ghost flipped open her folder again and nodded. "Healing shots, draining health, and her ultimate turns her into a berserker bat of a monstergirl. Apparently in her backstory, Merc Squad pulled these guys out of the lab we put a stop to and signed them up. So that just leaves..."

"Headshot!" a grizzled, electronic voice said from one corner of the room. Ghost gave a puzzled look in that direction before leaning to look past Big Bolt working on a punching bag. Sitting against the wall behind him was a young boy or an especially short and lean teenager. He wore an ill-fitting army jacket He had scrappy blonde hair that was starting to grow long around his light brown face, some of the tips of his hair dyed purple. He wore sneakers and some old sweatpants as he tapped away at his cellphone, which made the occasional sound of guns or soundboard-like one-liners.

"Psych, huh? The telepath?" Ghost asked as she checked her updated report.

"Yep. Kid with the brain powers," Psych held out a hand and popped the fridge open with his telekinesis. He levitated a soda between Patcher's legs and into his hand before popping it open. He finally looked up from his phone as he rested it on his knees, hesitating before offering it to them. "Did you guys want one?"

Ghost smirked but shook her head. "You're good. Help yourself. We more or less live out of this base when we're not shooting the crap out of each other, so might as well get comfortable." Patcher did just that as she sat down next to him.

"So whatcha playing?" she asked as Psych started to levitate his soda so he could start playing again.

"Fort Fight. Mobile shooter that the studio got a tie-in with."

"Oh that looks like fun!" Patcher said brightly, leaning further over his shoulder. Psych gave her a strange look but held it out a little closer towards her to let her see.

"You do both realize we LIVE inside a shooting game, right?" Ghost asked with a sarcastic smirk. She looked from Patcher to Psych before breaking into a frown. "Waiiiit a minute. If you're going to be hanging out with Patch, I gotta ask... how old ARE you, kid?"

"I'm like..." Psych minimized his game to check his phone. "Six minutes old."

"Right!" Ghost nodded with pursed lips. "Computer game. Fair enough. Well more importantly, what kind of powers are you looking at?"

Psych raised a hand and with a low thrumming noise, a ripple went through the air and Big Bolt was flung ten feet away before landing back on his feet. "I can push people. Make psychic barricades. Give em a mental jolt that slows them down. Otherwise I'm crap for damage and health, so I'm really just good for slowing down the other team."

Patcher gasped and hugged him around the shoulders. Psych was left looking surprised as she shoved the side of his head against her breast. "You can't fight!? You're just like me! Ghost, we should adopt him!"

"What?! Girl, we're barely even canon!" Ghost objected. "We're not adopting a ten-minute-old."

"I'm not cool with that either, if that makes a difference," Psych added, raising a hand while his face rested on Patcher's boobs. "To be fair though, I don't know my parents. Me and Nighty got some tragic bioweapon backstory garbage so I had an emo background."

"Awwww," Patcher moaned sympathetically. "That's so sad."

"Not really. It's just like, text about me or whatever. It doesn't define me."

"But you never even had a mommy!"

"Patch, who exactly WAS your mom?" Ghost asked, folding her arms impatiently. Patcher went quiet and thought for a moment.

"Good point... I guess we never really decided who my parents were... though I did say they were 'poor' in that one video, so I guess I have parents… maybe?"

Their conversation was interrupted when the soothing low voice on the intercom spoke up. "Dropship is incoming."

"What's that mean?" Psych asked, pointing up at the speakers. He wasn't quite sure about the most polite way to get out from the middle of Patcher's chest.

"Means the servers are back on," Ghost replied, turning back to the squad and clapping her hands twice. "Okay, troops! Load up! You know how it goes with the DLC characters. Players are gonna be rotating characters a lot to experiment with chemistry and counters, so get ready to drop in and out and keep your rookies in line!"

The team went to the landing area in the next room, piling into the helicarrier that always had exactly enough seats for everyone. It only seemed to get airborne for a few seconds before they were hovering over a city in the mountains.

"Looks like we're hitting the Italy map first," Duct Tape reported as he scanned his laptop's monitor. "King of the hill squads of 7. Pretty straight paths but lots of cover and high ground."

"So I'll keep me eyes peeled for ye sneakier sorts," Gladiator commented before he checked his wrist. His bracelet had turned over to the Blue Team. Shieldmaiden elbowed him in his armored ribs and he still jostled in his seat.

"Ha! Too bad, big man!" The Viking flashed her bracelet that was a matching shade of blue. "Maybe the reds will pick another of your ugly mug so I can pick on someone my own size in a real warrior."

"I think she likes him," Patcher whispered discretely to Ghost.

"Well he's the only one remotely close to her size and she's probably never seen a robot like Big Bolt before," Ghost admitted with a shrug.

"So what if I don't get picked?" Psych asked, sitting across from them and still tapping at his phone. "I can just wait here and play on my phone?"

"Believe me, kid," Pocket Rocket chimed. "The new meat doesn't sit on the sidelines. She pointed to his wristband that had turned blue as well. "See? Now you might wanna hold onto somethin'."

"Hold onto OH SHIT!" The ship's floor opened up beneath Gladiator and Shieldmaiden with a short and loud rush of air. Maiden's mad laughter could be heard for a moment before their seats were sealed up again. Night Shift gave their empty spots a puzzled look but otherwise nobody even blinked.

"Basic deployment. You vill see controlled landing area where you are allow to land," Skullfucker replied dryly as she double checked a few parts of her assault rifle. Psych let out a quick shout as the floor opened up and dropped him out as Patcher and Skullfucker's bands turned blue as well. Same as the rest, they were dropped out and touched down among some old Greek-looking buildings. Patcher gave a few quick bursts of her rocket heels to ease the landing while Skullfucker didn't bother. She landed flat on her feet before regenerating any busted bones with some visceral cracking sounds.

"That's gonna take some getting used to." Psych shook his head, an act that made some purple and yellow sparks seem to pop out of his hair. He flexed his fingers and a couple of yellow balls of energy shot out of his hand into a nearby wall. Already the chat started to pop up as the players experimented. Patcher started to dust off and adjust her skirt, just to see that she was wearing a sky blue frilled skirt and a sleeveless top that seemed to push up her breasts even more than usual. A pair of white and blue pompoms were mounted on her hips. Patcher smiled and turned around to inspect herself. Apparently her player had her cheerleader skin.

MiloDeVenus: "I think Psych shoots like a machine gun or a long range flamethrower."

Uncle Ugly22: "Kind of a Skullfucker?"

MiloDeVenus: "Way weaker than that."

GangstaDKRap: "He's more about area denial than anything else."

Texis Red: "Night Shift is now officially my waifu"

Lootbawks PLZ: "Shieldmaidens slow AF over here when the shield's up."

"Ungrateful little," Shieldmaiden growled but Patcher hurried over to wave at her.

"Easy! Easy! Those are the players! You'll get used to them. Big tip is try not to read the chat unless you have some down time. You can catch up between lives."

"My only regret I have one life to give for my ancestors," Shield grunted.

"Then I think you'll be pleasantly surprised," Patcher said cheerily. The rest of their team landed and the match started proper, everyone rushing ahead towards the coliseum-like structure in the middle of the stage. There was the usual amount of skirmishing and pot shots taken while Patcher jumped behind one pillar to the next to keep the retreating healed. She only got so far before an explosive shot went off by her feet, making her jump in surprise more than any actual pain.

"Yow! Ghost! You scared the crap outta me!"

"Just a little something to let you know I care!" Ghost Shot called from the other side of their battleground.

"I swear I'm going to download that mod that adds a paddle to this game, missy!" Patcher scolded back as she let her shields recharge. Ghost immediately emptied her next few shots into the pillar as if literally asking for it. Patcher just giggled and shook her head before rocket dashing over to the chunk of wall where Shieldmaiden and Gladiator were waiting. "How we doing, Tanks?"

"Could be better," Gladiator grunted, leaning around for a blind shot of his plasma pistol. "They gotta Roadblocker and a Ghost Shot, so they've built themselves a tidy li'l snipin' post up on the second floor. They're gettin' good use of all that cover."

"If cover is all you need, I'll provide it!" Shield raised her thick shield in front of her and leapt out into the open.

"Wait! We don't even have anyone ranged to-" Patcher started, but a shot already ricocheted off of her shield. "Oh well. Let's get you going, big guy."

"You're a sweet lass," Glad praised as she popped open the compartment on his crotch and started to take his cock in her mouth. She moaned as she hefty hunk of flesh pushed a bulge into her cheek as she bobbed her head steadily.

"Oh gross," Psych commented. "Is that how you make cover?"

"Nome," Patcher mumbled around her mouthful of cock. She popped her mouth off wetly as she pulled out her tits, wrapping the plump orbs around the veiny hammer of a cock and pumping them up and down. "This is how I buff people. And I kiss to heal and give them lapdances to revive them. It's just how I'm played."

"Well shit. I'm just gonna go ahead and delete my porn app then." Psych smirked and pulled out his phone, starting to type away.

"Perhaps try to help with the fight before that," Skullfucker said grimly. She took her rifle in one hand and pulled her arm off, reaching it around the corner to fire with the disembodied hand at a surprise angle to scare off Red Team's advancing Gladiator.

"Huh? Oh right. You guys needed cover." An explosion went off near the capture point as one of Pocket Rocket's missiles blew up Shieldmaiden, flinging her body right past him. "Lots of cover. Got it." His scruffy hair floated off his face for a moment as he held out a hand towards the point. The air rippled before what looked like a holographic wall of purple energy appeared in the center of the coliseum. A few shots pinged off of it while Oni-San ran right into it and bounce off rubbing his nose.

Patcher raised her eyebrows and mumbled something as she fondled Gladiator's balls. She hefted the large orbs in both hands while her lips worshipped the curve just beneath the head of his cock.

"The wee lass said 'how long is that gonna last?" Gladiator translated. "Almost there now. That's the stuff..."

Psych shrugged. "As long as you need it to. It'll stop bullets and movement until I summon another one. It's like building walls in Fort Fight. Hang on." The tanned boy leaned around the pillar and thrust out a hand. Oni had started climbing the wall, but his burst of psychic force sent him flying back off of it. "Sorry. Yea, long as you want."

"That'll do OHHH FUCK, ye little tart! That's the bloody fuckin' ticket!" Gladiator's thick load of cum shot into Patcher's mouth and coated her face when she had to pull back to handle it all. Spots of her pink lipstick marked the deeper reaches of his cock as a lingering reminder of her buff. With an invigorated grunt, the giant Irishman slapped his crotch’s armored panel shut again. "Just what I needed. Keep 'em off me best ye can and let me at 'em!" Gladiator uprooted a hunk of stone and chucked it like a discus at the other team before he went on storming the point with Skull at his flank.

"So you just blow everybody on the team?" Psych asked, looking at Patcher in confusion.

"I mean it's not always blowing. Some of them are girls, and sometimes I need to take a few at a time so I just bend over and..."

"Isn't that gross though?" Psych asked.

Patcher looked surprised at the implication. "What? No, not really. I-" A missile went shooting past her hiding spot as she sighed. "Hang on." She trotted between cover points daintily while their main force keep the troops busy, sitting down beside him with her knees up to her impressive chest. "It's an important job. Why wouldn't I do it if that means helping everyone instead of killing everybody? I mean, yea, everyone else gets cooler weapons and powers... I mean, check them out!"

Patcher gestured out to the point where Pocket Rocket yanked down Big Bolt's pants. The space where his crotch would be opened up and a steel cylinder slid out, which Pocket promptly hopped onto and wiggled until it was firmly up her ass. She gave Big Bolt a wave and the device retracted with her still attached, popping her bazooka out of his chest as they opened fire.

"See? New update and Pockets gets to pilot his dick like a mecha. Isn't that cool?"

"I'm not exactly jealous, if that's what you mean," Psych muttered, eying the beaming Patcher out of the corner of his eye. "But thanks for staying back here with me."

"It's okay," Patcher said brightly. "It's basic strategy on these stages. I think. I stay back here to heal people when they retreat because I'll just get shot if I go out there. Besides, I know your first battle can be a little scary." She smiled and squeezed his warm little hand in hers. "I gotcha."

Psych looked at Patcher's hand and then back at her. "I meant because my cooldowns are twice as long if I'm not near another character. Part of my Troubled Mind trait."

"Oh!" Patcher pulled back her hand and folded them neatly on her knees. They had a few seconds of awkward silence before the familiar roar of a chainsaw was heard from the point. "Uh oh. Nobody changed to Chainslash on our team, did they?"

The Red Team’s Chainslash burst into their hiding spot from around the corner, slashing across the two of them with a wide and stinging swipe. He raised it over his head to finish the job while Psych shot rapid psychic energy bolts into him with almost no effect. Suddenly a two-foot-long crossbow bolt sunk into his face with a bloodless crunch. Chainslash howled and recoiled in surprise as Psych threw up his hand and with another pulse of psychic force, flung him over the edge of the nearby bridge. The two of them looked up to see Shieldmaiden tromping back up to them, casually reloading her crossbow.

"Now I see... so I've already arrived in Valhalla," Shield mused. “I live just to battle and die, only to rise and battle once again!"

"I mean..." Patcher started, rotating her hand uncertainly. "You're not WRONG..."

"I knew it! I must not have seen the rainbow bridge when I arrived!" Shield boasted. She gestured her weapon towards Patcher. "Stay back with the children, wetnurse. We shall deal with the battle."

Psych folded his arms over his knees and sighed. "So we're the bench warmers of the team. That's cool." He leaned around the corner and with a wave of his hand, he adjusted the position of his mental barrier. "Because I'm actually pretty cool with that. I can text and play on my phone if nobody gives a shit about me."

"Ah, don't be like that." Patcher put an arm around his shoulders and squeezed him into a hug. "You're blocking all sorts of bad guys right now. They're lucky to have you. Now let's fix up that chainsaw wound of yours."

"Yea... I wasn't gonna mention..." Psych muttered, but Patcher already had him by the chin. She turned his head upward and planted her full lips on his little mouth, the lazy psychic shuddering before melting into her embrace. His small tongue rubbed and prodded against hers as she smiled, checking his health bar before meeting his eyes.

"First time, huh?" she chuckled.

"I'm a day old and I'm programmed to act like a tween," Psych admitted as blush further colored his cheeks. "So yea. Duh." There was a spray of bullets and another shout from the checkpoint, but at this point his throbbing erection was more distracting. Gladiator and Anarchy's ragdolling corpses went flopping across the battlefield.

"Aww come on," Patcher hissed. "We were having a moment. I gotta go revive somebody... ooh! Can you give me some cover."

Psych peered out from behind their cover, scanning over the opposing team rather than creating another wall. "Yea. One second. I'll be right back." Psych's eyes started to glow with a purple light as he floated off the ground. He hovered in place while Patcher stared until she heard some noisy gunfire. It was pretty hard to mistake Shade's tank rifle for anything else, but the panicked shouts of the Red Team made it particularly strange.

"What the heck are you doing?!"

"Ow! Friendly fire!"

"Watch your- OW! Dammit, Shade!" 

Patcher dared to peek out and saw the Red Team's Shade mowing down her own teammates from behind their ranks. The same purple glow as Psych's powers was in Shade's eyes and radiating off of her like an aura. "Ohhh! That's your Ult! You can possess people!" Patcher realized as she patted Psych on the back. "No wonder your cooldown stuff is so important! That kicks butt! ...and you probably can't hear me right now because you're in someone else's body, huh? Right? ...yea, thought so. Oh right! I was gonna revive people! Now I just feel dumb..."

Patcher ran off to pile of bodies and spotted Shieldmaiden. Figuring they could use a Tank to hold things down, she mounted and laid on top of the brawny viking. Patcher started writhing and gyrating, trying to figure out how best to lapdance for someone so huge. She ended up sitting on Shield's face and clapping her ass cheeks while jiggling her breasts on top of hers. Shield suddenly slapping her on the ass told her she had woken up. Patcher squeaked and jumped back to her feet, rubbing her sore booty.

"A fine way to wake up in my next life! Thank ya, dearie! You're a fine wetnurse indeed!" Shield praised as she started to storm the point again.

"Yea, it's actually Patcher ohyou'realreadygone," Patcher corrected quickly. She sighed and fired up her jet heels, catching up to Psych as he seemed to drift back to the ground and settle back into his own body with a strange warping noise. "Well that's three down. How was that?"

"That was awesome! I've seen Play of the Games that were less impressive than that!" Patcher praised cheerily. "You're an absolute tide turner! Like... like a super cute little nuke we can drop every couple minutes!"

"Maybe faster than that," Psych admitted, rubbing one of his temples. "I'm cooling down even faster now."

Patcher snapped her fingers. "Ooh! Your loneliness power!"

"My what?!"

"The um... um... Trouble Brain?"

"Troubled Mind?"

"Yes! That! I must be able to boost you up faster cuz I've got so much love to give!"

Psych glanced at the excited blonde's bouncing tits. "Yea, let's just go with that."

"Great! I got just the thing!" Patcher knelt down in front of the shaggy-haired psychic and pulled down his pants, pulling his young shaft out into the open air. Psych leaned against the stone wall and took a deep breath as Patcher cupped his smooth balls, caressing them gently. His small cock twitched as Patcher smiled and had to stoop even lower than kneeling to kiss the moistening tip. She lapped up the clear precum as the new recruit shivered, making his cock twitch in her mouth.

"Oh relax. First time for everything," she cooed. She started to slowly bob her head, treating him gently between his small stature and inexperience. Her blonde pigtails tapped lightly against his thighs and her bright pink lips marked her progress back and forth along his slim cock. All Psych could bring himself to do was lean back and hold up the bottom of his shirt, giving her free reign on his lower body. Patcher pushed herself far enough in to swallow up his cock and balls, cradling both in her mouth. He was a much easier fit than Big Bolt or even Duct Tape.

With a deeply moist sound, Patcher finally parter her lips and slowly slid Psych's cock back out of her mouth. "Here," she said as she reached under her cheerleader skirt and slid off her panties. "Let's make your first something special, okay?"

"Uh huh..." Psych seemed out of it and wasn't even hearing the sounds of battle any more. Patcher's sweet but slutty nature was flooding his mind as she stood in front of him and carefully squatted down. It took a moment for their hips to become level with the difference in their height, but Patch was an expert. She gave a soft sigh as she slid his dick inside her pussy, but Psych gave a sharp cry of surprise. Patcher shushed him and stroked his hair, kissing his lips and cheeks intermittently.

"It's ok. You're doing good, sweetie," Patcher cooed as she started grinding her hips up and down. He couldn't reach very deep but she knew how to grind on just about anything. She knew how to angle herself so that his tip brushed right against her clit, giving her little jolts of pleasure while giving his a little something to rub up against. Psych clung dseperately to her sides and pulled the healing cheerleader tightly against him. Patcher smiled down at him fondly. She was glad she didn't let him take her doggy style because she loved seeing him look comfortable. Like he was enjoying himself for the first time since he'd got in the game. It was the kind of thing she lived for.

Patcher started to put a little more pressure behind her humping, getting the small psychic to start breathing more heavily in turn. She pulled up on her cheerleading top until her big and perky tits bounced out, leaving the hard nipples right next to Psych's face. He quickly pushed his face into them, kissing one all over wildly before he latched his mouth onto the other's nipple. Patcher started to moan in some soft encouragement for his behavior until she heard him gasp sharply. He squeezed her hip and one of her breasts as he shook violently, humping her in hard, short, rapid thrusts that bumped against her clit. She felt a brief shudder of a mini orgasm, but Psych was having a much harder and louder orgasm as a smooth shot of his cum burst inside her.

"Thaaat's it. Good boy!" Patcher sighed. Her breasts in his face and the wall behind him didn't leave much space for him to fall loose, forced to slump against her as he caught his breath. "That was a big one, huh?"

"Yea... holy shit, wow," he mumbled. "Those blogs weren't kidding. Sex is great." Patcher laughed and kissed him softly on the lips before sliding back off. She adjusted her top with a casual but content smile on her face. Psych was honestly imagining it to be a lot weirder for how she had just fucked and grinded on a couple strangers in front of him, but it hardn't even crossed his mind in the moment.

"Think that did the trick?" Patcher asked as she finally slid off of him.

"Hell yea. Here..." Psych flicked his wrist and he put up a barrier right outside their hiding spot. "Watch this one. You'll like it." Psych's glanced around the wall and his eyes glowed again as he started to float. Patcher peeked out and saw another glow from atop some pillars, recognizing the enemy Ghost Shot as she stood up and twirled her rifle. She blasted the arm off of a Big Bolt before headshotting an unsuspecting Dr Dragon. She turned and fired at the enemy Bork, who ran for cover barking back at her. The possessed Ghost turned to Patcher and grabbed her bulletproof vest, yanking it and her shirt aside to flash her girlfriend her tits and blow her a kiss.

"Ah, you sweetie," Patcher giggled. She barely heard a rush of air behind her before she turned to investigate. Night Shift had swooped down, her bat wings curled around her as she bit into the floating Psych's neck. He crumbled into a heap in her arms as Patcher stared. The mutated goth let his body drop to the ground, licking her lips before turning to the Healer.

"I saw all that," she said evenly, drawing her dart gun and aiming it at Patcher. The blonde winced.

"Yea... sorry. That's kinda my job."

"Oh don't be. I'm soooo above all of this. Like, literally too." She gave a quick flick of her wings to emphasize her point.

"Ohhh I get it. That's a good voiceline!"

Night Shift nodded once. "Right? Anyways, thanks for taking care of my little brother." She pumped a few shots into Patcher before she could run, dropping her dead on the spot.

Back at the respawn, Psych floated to a more graceful stop this time with his telekinesis. He started to walk back towards the checkpoint when Patcher came running after him. "Hey! Your sis just shot me in the face," she said cheerily. "But she said she's happy for you." Psych smirked and shook his head as they went walking back to the point.

"Well at least dying's not as bad as I thought. It doesn't even hurt. It's just... weird and new."

"Yea, well... it's a big day for first times," Patcher said, patting him on the head before rushing back towards the battle.

It didn't mean much because a buzzer went off over the speakers. "Blue Team Wins!"

"Woo! We did it!" Patcher chimed, jumping as her boobs, skirt and pompoms bounced up and down. "Ooh! You get to have your first victory pose!"

"Cool. What's that?"

"Winning team all stands together and does a pose like a team."

"Oh. Yea, Fort Fight doesn't have those."

"Well what does it have?"

"I mean... dances."

"Ooh, that sounds fun! Like what?"

The victory screen finally loaded, with some animated victory poses being added in the recent update. That was how while most of the team raised fists or flexed, Patcher and Psych were the only ones still in motion. Psych doing a floss dance was a cute little meme of a pose, shaking his hips side to side while he pumped his hands on either side of his body. The fact was that Patcher doing the same in sync with him was something else entirely as her thick ass and skimpy cheerleader outfit involved much more jiggling.