The Goblin Coplin (Patreon)

“Come on, officer… Torque. I wasn’t going THAT fast.”

“It’s Officer Torke. Pronounced Tor-kay,” Gretchen corrected as she went on filling out the ticket. She did her best to look intimidating, maintaining an expression that gave off nothing but business and a dash of disapproving frown. It was the best she could do when she was three feet tall and needed an official police-distributed stepstool to look in through a car window. Gretchen Torque was one of scarce few goblins on the police force in her whole state, and the only one in Kent County. She was likely the only goblin cop (or “coplin” or gobby in the UK)  to actually take the job seriously. Given their nature, they tended to help the police as informants or by filling up their jail cells. Gretchen was one that wanted to prove all the stereotypes wrong.

She was on the short side, even for a goblin, considering they went from about three to five feet tall. She had short blue hair that curled up if she didn’t shower and lotion it every day. She kept it trim beneath her hat (which balanced itself on the edges of her broad ears), leaving it out of her pretty face that was a collection of button nose, freckles and tree frog-purple eyes. Her thick green skin had the same slightly pocked texture to it, but she took better care of herself than most to avoid the usual oily appearance. The uniform was just something she couldn’t fix. They didn’t have anything in her proper size, so her freckled boobs and wide hips pushed the uniform out to look trashier than she’d like. It could have been worse, compared to the other goblin girls she’d see on the streets, but she had to prove she wasn’t a stripogram on more than one occasion. They simply didn’t have any tops that weren’t down to her knees or exposing her underboob besides this one. She had dedicated herself to fixing up the pants herself to shorten a larger pair, and even then they hugged her butt way tighter than she wanted them to. 

“You can’t be serious… my wife’s gonna kill me.” The driver groaned and slumped back into his driver seat. “I can’t afford this.”

“Should have thought of that before going 75 in a 50 zone, sir,” Gretchen said dismissively as she pulled out the ticket. She went to hand it over when the middle-aged guy took the incoming hand in his. It was warm and big and strong and it made the little goblin’s heart race. 

“Look, you’re a goblin. I work with a few in my office,” the guy said carefully as he put on a more reasonable smile. “I know you’d be willing to just tear up that ticket if you maybe… drove off somewhere secluded, wasted an hour or two together, and we both leave a little happier. Right?”

“Are you… trying to get out of this ticket with sex?” Gretchen asked warily.

“I mean, off the record. It’s what you goblins crave, right? I’ve read the articles online. I’ve seen you green girls giving it out for free on the streets in the right time of year. Come on. It’ll be fun.”

“Wellll… when you put it that way…” Gretchen took back the ticket and the man grinned. She tucked it under her arm while she got her ticket book back out and scribbled another. “Here’s another for trying to solicit an officer.” The man’s face went pale as she handed him the pair of tickets. “If I were you, I’d suggest paying the fine. Wouldn’t want to go to court over it and have your wife find out about the things you said, would you?”

Gretchen smiled with her smooth and sharp teeth before she hopped off and picked up her stool. She kept her own wedding ring on her keychain in her pocket when she was on duty. She didn’t want to risk it getting lost or broken when she was “busting a perp” as the rookies liked to call it. She tried to be more mature than that. That wasn’t what she’d gone to college for, and it wasn’t what her mom had raised her to be like. Of course, sometimes it felt like that was all Gretchen did these days: everything she could to avoid being labeled as the same horny, sleazy cons and goblin sluts that made up her race’s population.

Gretchen climbed back into her squad car (with the seat boosted all the way up and her old training handbook beneath her butt) and drove off to leave the guy with something to think about and a few hundred dollars to pay. She went a few miles out to where she could park near the highway and collect her thoughts. She took a long drink of her water before she shuddered. She was a married goblin with a respectable job and steady income, and still it bothered her. There would always be that piece of her brain that pumped her full of the instinct to jump at every possible chance for a quick fuck.

Goblins were a relatively recent addition to actual modern society, legally recognized as people a couple of generations ago. They had some footholds, mostly from carving themselves a chunk of downtown where they swarmed their specialized apartments and ran their own underground market. They were a lot more in touch with their instincts than humans, and goblins were scavengers. They ate whatever they could and bred at any opportunity, as if they were still afraid of being swept up by a hawk or a wolf or an especially mean deer.

It was what made just the intimate touch of the stranger make Gretchen hold her breath and wait out the next fifteen minutes in the privacy of her car. "Don't think about dick. Don't think about dick. Don't think about dick..." She looked at herself in the rearview mirror, willing herself to fight off the hormones and the stereotypes and the expectations. She had proved everyone wrong at her recruitment training. That her stubby legs and big boobs wouldn't slow her down in the obstacle course. That she could shoot and fight as good as all the humans. And perhaps most proudly, that she had a senior officer offer her a quick fuck in the background and she had calmly declined and then reported him to their trainer. Of course, she had to go home and masturbate long into the night thinking about the incident, but the guy was promptly fired for sexual harassment and a short while before she graduated. It made her a huge hit with the lady officers.

Now, Gretchen tapped her foot on the floor of her squad car. It just made her thigh jiggle and rub against her crotch. "Don't masturbate. Don't masturbate. Don't masturbate," she reminded herself in a fresh mantra. She reached out and touched the keychain, rubbing the little gold wedding ring so that the diamond scratched harmlessly against her fingers. That while staring into the mirror finally grounded her in reality again. She sighed and settled back into her seat, letting the air conditioning cool her down when the radio crackled to life.

"Officer Torke, we've got some reports of a disturbance down on Conch Street behind Parson's Pawn. You need any backup?"

Gretchen had lucked out and worked with one of the female officers before she was deemed able to patrol on her own. "I should be fine. I'll keep you updated," she reported back in the comm before starting off towards the location. The spot was often a source of trouble. The houses were tightly packed together in that part of town, which left narrow alleyways and limited view from the outside. Sure enough, she found a half dozen goblins playing an old fashioned shell game on a folding card table. One male goblin in a cheap dress-shirt and grimy slacks was behind the table, grinning as the rest pointed and shouted over the player's shoulder.

Gretchen parked and let out a few half-started whoops with her siren that sent half the patrons running before she even got out of the car. The rest stayed put out of petrifying fear or confidence. "Okay, guys. You ready to show me a license to be running these kinds of games?" Gretchen started as she walked calmly down the alley. The players shuffled and avoided her eyes, but the one running the game turned his frown into another knowing grin.

"Hey there, officer. What's the problem here?"

"Gambling without proper license, reports of a disturbance, and illegal use of private property," she reported curtly. "Fact is, I haven't seen any of you exchanging money, so if you pack it up and go, you've done nothing wrong. As far as I know." She was trying to be fair and give them a shot to walk away.

"Ah, come on. It's part of our culture," the host of the game insisted. "Takin' idiots from their money. At least I'm pretending to have a business to it instead of thievin' like the rest of these clowns."

"Crime's still a crime," she refused. "No matter who's doing it or how severe. So disperse or tell it to them down at the station."

The gamblers seem to get the point and shuffle off, but the one behind the rest of it gave her a sneer. "Well lookit that. Guess some of us scum get to float to the top. The humans got you on a leash or has you got a rich male that got you this high by balancing on his dick?"

Gretchen's face ran a flush of red across her speckled nose. "I got myself here. And no business of yours, but I'm married."

"No you're not," the vendor sneered. "Then where's your tattoos?"

"He's a human."

The semiformal creep laughed sharply. "Oh, that's it. You got yourself a job when you're not knocked up on humie juice?" He spat with a particular precision that landed right on her cleavage. "Your kind make me sick. Bunch of pink-jumpin'..."

Gretchen caught him by his bald head and mashed it into the nearest wall. "I try to play nice!" she snapped indignantly as she clapped the cuffs onto one of his wrists. "You've got the right to remain silent that I'm sure you'll ignore. You've the right-"

She had the goblin cuffed when another, larger male grabbed her from behind and threw her to the ground. She wasn't sure who he was or where he came from, but he got her on her stomach and used his bulk to pin her down. All of Gretchen's instincts said to stay down. They wanted her to roll over. To show him her belly and spread her legs in submission and a silent plea to knock her up in the dirty alley in the middle of her shift. Her instincts were always pretty useless in a fight.

She breathed heavily for few seconds, her breasts puffing against the pavement before she let her mind take over again. She caught the handle of her nightstick and caught her attacker in the jaw with the handle. He let out a quick yowl as she smashed an elbow into his ribs and made him tumble off. She rose to her hip and drove a boot into his snout, sending a tooth and some blood from his nose and lips. He howled and clutched his face as he rolled around, so Gretchen stood up and spiked the tip of her baton into his soft gut. With him finally winded, she whirled around and took out the knee of his boss before he could make a coordinated run for it. She grabbed the radio from her belt to call for backup; not because she was especially hurt at all (goblins were squishy and stretchy enough to absorb a lot of that kind of abuse), but just because there was no way she'd be able to drag the bigger one into her car by herself.

Once they were picked up and Gretchen dusted off and calmed down again, she assured the other officers she was fine to continue with her patrol. It was a few more speeding tickets and some loiterers, making it a pretty slow day after the gamblers. The last big thing she found was a car parked outside of the local school. She saw the subtle rocking that begged her to not come a’knocking, but she had her duties. Worst case it was a perv, best case it was someone who could use some help. 

In truth, it was somewhere in between. She could hear the moans and grunts, and a tanktop was tossed recklessly over the top of the passenger seat. She rolled her eyes and knocked her baton on the door. There was some hushed whispers before they opened the door. There was a pair of high schoolers; a human boy and a goblin girl. The goblin was as short as Gretchen was, if only almost as busty, but with blonde pigtails that had to be dyed. Goblin hair just didn’t come that bright and clean of a bleach blonde. She had a bra that barely stuck on her chest and some makeup that had been amateurly applied to her face and nails. Her big green eyes tried to avoid the officer’s gaze, while the human at least tried to stay in front of her with his unzipped pants.

“Oh. Uh. Hi, officer. We were just… reviewing. For an exam.” 

“Really didn’t have a better excuse, huh?” Gretchen asked with a knowing gaze.

“Uh… no, ma’am.” The big guy with the long, shaggy hair let his awkwardly long legs dangle over the edge of the car. 

“This your car?” 

“Yes, ma’am.”

Gretchen gave the flustered and blushing goblin girl a look. To his credit, the guy tried to shuffle to obstruct her view of her. “Look, I don’t have to tell you what’s wrong with all this, do I, son?”

“No, ma’am.” It was clear the guy was weirded out being called “son” by a lady half his size, but it made Gretchen stifle a smug grin.

“Right. Good. Now, I’d like a word with the young lady back there. After that, you can go ahead and drive her home and drop her off. Does that sound fair?” The girl anxiously twirled one of her pigtails and the guy bit his lip, but he looked at his sloppy makeout partner and shrugged.

Gretchen didn’t bother with taking her to her car and just took the goblin girl around the corner (Gretchen had to remind her to put her top back on first). She sat her on a bench and decided to try to wrap with her. She was young and impressionable, after all.

“Look… what’s your name, kid?”

“Trixie.”

Ouch. Uphill battle. “Well, Trixie, I know there’s a lot of history about us goblins. And not all of it’s great. But the same goes for humans. They’re not all pride and sunshine. They made mistakes and got confused just like the rest of us. I mean, look at me. I’ve got respect and pride, and a good paycheck. That’s a lot more than a lot of goblins have. And you know what? I never had to fuck anybody to get here. All it took was my folks telling me that I could do it. I just want you to know that you’ve got options, right? You can wait until marriage, save yourself, and you’ll know that partner really cares about because you saved sex just for him. I’m not saying like… like, a little before marriage is okay. I’m not saying be psycho about it. But take it easy. You’re better than those urges. You should always use protection, otherwise you’re gonna end up one of those sluts with a dozen kids hanging off their tits and so fat they can barely walk. You don’t want to end up as one of those hookers, do you?”

Trixie blinked at her, realizing there was a moment of quiet from Gretchen’s rambling. “Uh… I am?” 

“You’re saving for marriage?” Gretchen asked skeptically. Was she one of those kids who was trying to get married while they were still in school?

“No, I’m like, a hooker. Already.” She went back to twirling one of her pigtails.

“So… he was…?”

“Mmmmmaybe?”

Gretchen frowned. “...can I see some ID?” Trixie pulled out her license. She was 28. Two years younger than Gretchen. Gretchen hung her head and sighed. “Oh for the love of…” she grumbled as she took out the cuffs. 

Gretchen ended up letting the boy go and Trixie getting promptly processed and bailed out by her pimp. She ended her patreon and went back to work out in the gym for a little while before some of the other female officers stopped by while she was working on the heavy bag. They had heard about the assault in the alley, and share their sympathies and encouraging the capable little goblin gal. They treated her as one of the girls, always making a good impression for the ladies as much as she was goblins. They loved to go on about how she was so strong and independent, and how they had human friends with less self-respect than they did. It did Gretchen’s heart good. Still, when they were going out for drinks and invited her along, but she politely declined. She had a date with her husband, which they gushed over being so sweet.

When the day finally ended, she popped her wedding ring back on and hurried back home (well within the speed limit of course) until she jumped out of her car and threw her car keys into the basket on the low shelf by the door. “Ughhhh. Today!” she groaned as she immediately started to unbutton her top.

“That bad?” Alan Torke was watching TV in the living room, waiting for her like an overly casual but loyal dog. There was no dinner ready, but she was never exactly hungry when she got home. 

“Worst in a long time,” she grunted as she lost the pants as well. She peeled off her panties by the time she was in the living room, throwing them into the laundry hamper he had left out in preparation for her return. She hated to admit how much of the dampness of her panties was from raw arousal compared to her sweat. “I have had so many creeps touching and grabbing me that it’s like a fucking hot tub down there.”

“Poor baby,” Al cooed as he pulled his pants down. He knew she didn’t like to be kept waiting longer than she had to or else she started to get crabby. He slid a condom on that he’d kept handy and held open his arms so that she didn’t even have to slow down. Gretchen jumped into his lap and wiggled into him, pressing her tits on his chest. With a single thrust and a firm grunt from the both of them, she sheathed her husband inside of her. Gretchen gave a long, drawn out sigh as she finally felt Al back inside her pussy like a piece missing from her puzzle. Her eyelids fluttered briefly as the ribbed rubber ran through her.

“Fuuuuuck yes. Thank you, sweetie,” she moaned, kissing him on the lips. “I needed that.”

“So what’s the matter?” he asked as he started to rub her shoulders. She shut her eyes and purred as her hips started to buck in a lazy rhythm.

“Just dealing with a bunch of shitheads today,” she groaned. “This jerkass tried to seduce me to get out of a ticket, and I had to kick some asses when some fuckers in an alley thought they were tough.”

“Poor thing,” Al consoled patiently as he hugged her more tightly. Her breasts squished up until they forced their way over his shoulders before flopping back down when her hips pumped down onto his covered cock. 

“Ugh, and I met this streetwalker fucking this human boy in a car. I gave her a lecture about underage sex and self respect before I figured out she was a whore…” She grunted as she leaned harder into her next thrust, taking him all the way in and holding him there like a vaginal thermometer before she backed off again. 

“Ooh boy. I mean, what are you gonna do? Goblins can get like that.”

“Not when they’ve got a great guy like you to come back to,” Gretchen muttered, burying her face into his neck and peppering him with kisses. He let loose a laugh as she turned around, sitting in his lap and leaning her back into him. Alan slid his hands under her arms to lift her up an inch or two, letting her get comfortable before sliding his shaft back into her snatch. She shuddered and almost went limp as she laid on him, breathing heavily as she started to bounce her hips on him more intently.

“I'm such a horny monster,” Gretchen muttered softly between her pouty lips.

“You're my wife. You're supposed to be a little dirty when you're around me.” Al kissed at one of her wide ears and she tingled all over, making her fidget and clench around his dick.

“You perv,” she whispered like a sensual secret as she ran a hand through Alan's hair. She laid back against him as naturally comfortable as if Alan's dick were her favorite chair, grinding until the slight bulge pushed out of her lower belly. Alan wasn't ridiculously hung (though she'd never tell him that) but at her size it didn't matter. Humans equaled big and hard, so her body naturally loved it all and fought to fit all she could inside her.

Alan could tell when she was starting to relax. Her mouth stayed open but she'd stopped griping about her day. Her eyes stayed just barely open and she breathed in these long, slow breaths as if she was falling asleep. After resisting her urges all day at work, she just wanted to indulge in something. Who was he to complain?

He felt himself reaching his limit, so he went for their usual signal. He grabbed Gretchen by the breasts and squeezed them like a pair of green stress balls. It instantly made her little toes curl and a husky cry escape her lips. She bent her legs to brace her feet on his thighs, starting to squat up and down in as firm as rapid a fucking as she could give. Alan bit his lip and had to grab one of the chair’s arms to steady himself as he came inside her. Even with it cut off by the condom, her goblin pussy sensed the shift in pressure and opened up wider. It let him drive his cock even deeper inside her, making Gretchen emit one last scream of bestial pleasure before cumming herself. A quick squirting of her juices onto the carpet and she was left slumped against him, breathless and witless as he hugged her tightly around the ribs. 

“Yea… I super needed that one,” Gretchen muttered. She climbed off of his dick and turned to investigate his erection. “The condom stayed on, right? Nothing got out?”

“No, you're clean,” Alan reported. She always asked. They thought of having kids someday, but neither wanted that just yet (despite what Gretchen’s hormones said sometimes). 

“Good. I am not ready to turn myself into a walking watermelon yet. Did you hear they've made a drug that can put us in heat 24/7? What's wrong with those people?”

“They're goblins. They'll do what they want, and people will keep trusting them. I know a girl who got on those pills at the office. They say she's never felt happier. Had to hire some new girl for her replacement and everything.” Alan had pulled on his pants and went to turn on the stove to start making dinner. “Besides, you'd make a cute little melon, Gret.”

The goblin cop wiggled back into her panties and followed him to the kitchen, giving him an approving slap on the ass. “Right. I bet you'd like that, you overgrown perv.”

“Says the girl who needs a dick everyday after work.”

“Its genetic!” Gretchen said with a huff as she took the milk from the fridge. She let Alan get some of the food going before she shuffled over and hugged his leg. “I'll tell you what, though… even if I were a human, I'd still be addicted to you.”

“Bet you wouldn't be half as cute if you were.” He rubbed a hand through her hair as she nuzzled his crotch, tempting herself with his familiar scent. The idea of their post-coital dinner had her hungry, but more intense were her cravings for seconds on her husband’s dick. She gave a small groan of defeat as she pulled his pants back down.

“I'm so pathetic,” she groaned.

“Hey.” Alan caught her by the chin when she was halfway to his cock, her mouth still hanging open. “You're a good girl and a hard worker. You earned this.” She closed her mouth enough to smile up at him. “You just happen to be my dick-sucking greenbean slut too.”

“You're such a sweetheart,” she giggled as she blushed. She let him get back to his cooking while she wolfed down his member.