Sorry, I won't be doing MAGFest (Patreon)

I wish I could just say I'm worried about the omicron spike. If you decided not to go because of that, your concern is totally valid. I am worried about that, but it didn't ultimately make this decision for me.

This really tears me up inside. Some of you might know me as my other, sometimes stealth, identity of Mr. MAGFest. I did not start it, but immediately after the first event, it was announced there would not be any future MAGFest events. I bought it, took the reins, and ran the event, giving ten years of my life to it. I tried to instill direction, vision, etc. and make it something different and special that game and game music fans could enjoy. I spent countless nights sleeping under convention tables, eating ramen, dumping paycheck after paycheck from my job into an account MAGFest could use and living off tips. Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of others who believed in my vision and supported me, and it was an amazing time building that and working together.

Near the end of my time as the lead organizer and face of MAGFest, I had a few civil disagreements with the way the organization was headed, but I was also broken out in hives from the stress of running the event. I had to step back. I continued attending for the next ten years, helping out in whatever capacity I could each year. These past few years I helped with the demoparty there, which some of you were aware or even there for. 

As a part of my parting arrangement from organizing ten years ago, it was to be formalized that I would receive amenities roughly equivalent to some combination of guest and supporter. My badge would be taken care of, of course. They would hold back one of each new thing that went into the swag packs for supporters, which I would hold onto and archive (really, just watching over my baby and didn't have the money to collect 'em all as it were). I would be offered a spot to perform — not necessarily a prime-time slot or anything — every year or two. I'd get a room for the duration I wanted to be at MAGFest, which usually meant getting there the day before the event, and leaving the day after. 

I continued to go each year, continued to volunteer, and continued to ask if we could get that agreement in writing. Why? Well, there was often a problem with at least one of the amenities, and it would be great to fall back on a written agreement that stated exactly what was promised. Fortunately, I had good friends to take care of the mistakes made along the way. Unfortunately, no matter what part of the year I asked — many times each year — things just got put off. There was always something more important. One year, while getting sent on wild chases to get all my things, it got so bad that I spoke up at the feedback panel at the end of the event. 

Fast forward to last year, MAGFest had a huge turnover in their Board of Directors and management. I was a bit distanced from this as I watched friends fight other friends. That also tore me up a bit. When they came to what seemed to be an agreement — or at the very least, a conclusion — I wanted to be supportive and hopeful because I care so much about the event. Now that the old board and Paul B (former ED, who I had also spoken with) had stepped down, I met with two volunteer board members and the new executive director. We had some pretty heartfelt chats about the way things were going. I got a chance to talk about my concerns, including my arrangements. It seemed they wanted to have a chat amongst the office and board crew to figure things out. I waited.

Then, I got a call from my buddy Rob, who runs geekbeatradio. He wanted to book me for mainstage, and I was the first person on his list. I was extremely excited. The music department is run by both him and Emily (of 8static fame) and they have both been at my side during hard times this past decade. Of course I said yes. 

These two positive experiences renewed some of my hype in MAG. I went nuts on social media and started ramping up the cool stuff I would do. Even though MAG demoparty was on hold, I was going to produce some great panels, demoscene-relevant content, my show, help out with the MAGFest museum, and probably more. 

My worries about everything being in order started to show themselves again. I asked for advocacy. I was told it was a board of directors issue. I didn't hear anything. Eventually I received a hotel confirmation email with the wrong dates. I emailed and asked if it was an oversight. I know things get busy and slip through the cracks. But people had known that I planned to arrive early and leave late for months. Rob quickly replies, forwarding this email to the board and I waited seven days for a reply.

With my set and panels suffering while I stew, I'm waiting for an email back — even an acknowledgement — and I finally get a reply that says they understand there was an agreement but they cannot honor it, I am getting the same as other guests, and if I want crash space on other days, I should apply to volunteer. You're kidding, right? I always volunteer, both on and off the books.

I decide not to fly off the handle and go fix my shifts up in the staffing system so that I am set up as a volunteer with 39 hours for the event under their provided guidelines, and email back within a half a day. The staffing operations department is added to the chain by the director, and more silence.

This is the 11th hour for them. Since it took a week to get a reply to my previous email, my hopes were not high on this one, and another week would have actually put us in the middle of the event, so I started drafting my cancellation. I spent at least two hours trying to be calm and cordial and polite, thanking staffers who had helped me so as not to sound like I was just attacking everyone, and explaining how this isn't a "this year" problem, it's been a problem for the past ten years, and I'm just so very tired. 

My participation in the event is on hold until they work this out with me.

I'm destroyed that I won't see a number of friends that I can only catch up with at MAGFest every year, and I was going to meet some other new folks who have interviewed me and show some friends around MAG who had never been before. MAGFest is also a very good opportunity for me to support my music career, and a paid performance would have helped a lot this holiday. 

So, if anybody reading this was planning on going to MAGFest to see me, I apologise. Let me know if you were, and let me make it up to you somehow. Also, let me know if you need me to fill in any other details. I am eager to clear up misunderstandings and make things right in 2022.

Happy new year, and sorry for the bummer news!