Orihime's Diet Journal: 3rd Entry (Patreon)

Entry number three… and it’s still Saturday night.

I’ve written a lot more than I’d planned to, I think. Actually looking at the page count makes me feel a little proud! I’ve got an essay coming up and that’s only supposed to be half of what I’ve already written!

But… that essay is about the socio-economical impact of the Minamata Disease Outbreak in 1956. Which is a lot more interesting a topic than… well, me, I guess.

Sorry. It’s kind of hard to type about this…

I ended up leaving the bedroom and taking my laptop to our living room. The couch feels so much smaller than it should, and I can barely keep the belt of my robe tied over my tummy.

Just feel embarrassed I guess. After all, it’s my own stupid fault.

Gaaaaagggh. You’re willy wallying, Orihime! Being a negi never helped nobody get nowhere!

But a negi might not have been such a greedy piggy…

（✿˵•○•˵)＝３

I don’t really know how to tackle this. Just… floating around the topic, it’s kind of helpful, but approaching the actual event, I just feel worse and worse. It’s like there's a tiny little itty bitty pit that’s formed inside of my gut and it’s kind of like… apprehension? I think that’s the word?

I know it’s better to talk about it, and it’ll be good for me, but… I dunno. I’m sitting here listening to the couch squealing in pain beneath my titanic booty, still feeling hungry despite everything I’ve eaten, and knowing that, tomorrow, I’ll still be supersized.

It’s hard to explain. Like, having one rough day, normally you can bounce back the next! Wake up, click your heels together, march up to the kitchen for a nice cup of coffee (with whipped cream, please!), and then move on!

Right now, I’m picturing a rolly polly redhead struggling just to sit up. Tiredly flopping out of bed, her tummy smushing over her thighs just as mine does now. I struggled to get my robe on. Getting underwear, a skirt… goodness, just thinking about trying to pull on my socks, it’s making me tired.

It’s late. I want to just… crawl into bed. I don’t want to talk about what an embarrassing klutz I am.

But, I’ve gotta.

There must be something I can do that can make this fun. Like, something that can sweeten the pot, you know?

Maybe each page I do, I can do fifteen jumping jacks!

…

I think I’d rather shoot myself (TᐞT)

Kay, well, if you write a couple of paragraphs, you could… Ugh, no. I don’t think I could do push-ups even before I was breaking the scale…

Those don’t sound FUN! I don’t even know what could sound fun right now.

I’m just tired. Maybe I will feel better tomorrow. Get a nice breakfast, spend time with Ichigo. Go shopping together, maybe make a little date of it all.

That sounds like fun. Then we can get lunch, maybe watch a movie. I’m sure that this couch’ll feel better with him here to snuggle with.

Sunday’s supposed to be a lazy day.

******************************************************************************

You’ll have to forgive me if I can’t remember… everything, that happened.

This might be the only section that I really allow myself to ‘edit’ and ‘change,’ because everything just happened so darn fast. One moment, we're walking along the vendor line, checking out shops, and the next, I’m blowing up like the world’s chubbiest water balloon, practically nude, and knocking out everyone within twenty meters.

On accident. Feel like I should specify that…

Mr. Hat-and-Clogs always draws the biggest crowd at the festival. The Urahara Booth (which is as clever and creative a name as ‘The Urahara Shop’) always features all sorts of oddball wares.

Most of which could land them in pretty hot water, since the trinkets are enchanted with spiritual energy.

Ichigo says that Kisuke is asking for trouble. He’s gotten more and more bold about it as time’s gone by, like with the ‘magic wand’ fiasco that had Rukia living on our couch for a week last year, but most of it has been pretty low-energy.

A quill which can teach you how to write in calligraphy, or the little giftboxes that can shoot out a miniature snowstorm. Tiny teardrop bottles that contain moments of midnight, or those little rings that change color based on your mood!

My favorite’s definitely the comb that always untangles your hair in only one stroke! It’s made my morning routine a total breeze! (✿^‿^)

Point being, I always get excited when we got to check out the booth. I like the little desktop parades that he does with his special knickknacks. Even bought one of the wooden frog dollies that he made do a little jig, once. He’s on our desk in the bedroom.

I haven’t been able to make him dance yet. Even though I’m magic, too. Which is complete bogies…

His name’s Frobert.

Ugh…

Remember how I mentioned what I had to do to my skirt to make it fit? I had to tie the loop closed with a little rubber band. So I’m already probably waddling as we came up to the corner stall, blissfully unaware that it was about to get so much worse.

Kisuke was at the front table when we arrived, performing one of the parades that I mentioned. All the little wooden animals marching across a long desk, flag-twirling mice and little foxies carrying flower baskets saddled on their backs. The frogs are my favorite, which I guess is obvious, but I was thinking of getting one of the bulls this year so Frobert could have a friend.

We’d seen the parade before, so we went into the tent to check out all the other stuff, and that’s where we found Yoruichi Shihōin.

Yoruichi is a… strange woman. A little unnerving, honestly. She can be so severe, but really silly too. I think she spent too much time as a cat. Oh, I should mention, she’s kinda not real… at least, not in the traditional sense. She’s a super powerful spirit, and Kisuke is too, but they can interact with the human world just fine.

They’re really close, and we regularly see Yoruichi helping Kisuke with his various business practices, but she always sticks to the real magic rather than the phony baloney salesman stuff.

Which is probably why I got so excited when we saw her showing off the platter of mochi and offering all the free samples.

I like ice cream. I like sweets. They’re like a weakness for me. My big brother gave me a box of doughnuts to bring to school once for my birthday, and I hid in the locker room during first period and ate the whole thing. And nothing tastes better than something that’s ‘free.’

Just thinking about the mochi balls is making me blush. There were a few different ones, vanilla and chocolate, but there was a lovely red bean and some dark green tea. The take one sign was right there, sure, but they were selling them in boxes by the dozen!

… Umm… I’m not… supposed to know that. But I’ll tell you about that later…

There were a lot of people around, looking at other stuff, but that little display was like shining a laser pointer right in front of me. And here’s Yoruichi standing over the counter, just handing them out, and she’s talking about them.

“Go ahead,” she prompted one of the older ladies, a small gray-haired woman who was slightly hunched forwards. “Try one! These rice cakes were made to help unleash your latent spiritual energy.”

The lady took it, and she ate it, and… well, I’m not exactly sure what happened. But you could see it happening when it did.

It wasn’t as if she started glowing, but you could see something wonderful with her posture becoming more and more relaxed. It was sort of like seeing a diver coming up for air. I had this sense of power from the moment. Not much, sort of a tingle on my neck, but it felt… well, magical. And it was obviously tasty, given her noise of delight.

Her and Yoruichi talked a bit back and forth, but I had already turned to look at the mochi. I just had to have one! I remember thinking I wanted the vanilla, then the red bean, then the green tea. I wanted to ask if there was other flavors, ones like banana, which could be combined with the chocolate to be almost like a sweetie sundae!

I was excited. And, in my excitement, I guess I forgot what I was.

So embarrassing… Years spent thinking I wasn’t anything special came around to bite me right on my belly.

I remember looking at Ichigo right then, leaning forward with my lips puckered in determination, holding my arms like I was some sort of kid who wanted to be the next one to go down the slide. It was thrilling! But he’s always just so calm and collected, sighing and chuckling like he always does when he thinks I’m being cute.

Then I heard Yoruichi talking to the whole group, using that loud directional voice that she uses whenever she’s teaching or something, and invited them over to the front desk where they could make their purchases by flavor.

Like a spoiled brat, I tapped into him with my hip and said that I wanted a box, and he just chuckled and said we could ask for the price.

Then, I jumped so high that I nearly broke my rubber band when my muffintop jiggled against my waistband.

“YOU TWO!” Yoruichi barked, and she was sticking a finger out straight at me, “Don’t you make a move! I’ll be right back to deal with you.”

It scared me. She looked so serious, like something terrible would happen if we took even a step. But then she grinned and waved and… I thought it was a joke!! Like oh, ha ha, yes hi friends Orihime and Ichigo ha ha I spooked you because I’m a ghost woman get it?

So I just nervously chuckled and waved and the moment she turned away I was practically drooling over the leftover samples. Gooood I feel like such a piggy!!!!! (✿>_<)

Ichicgo, who I later found out had understood Yoruichi’s meaning, put a hand on my shoulder and told me to wait. She’d be right back. Then both of us noticed the price marked on a little plastic stand next to the samples.

¥17,280, per mochi.

I guess it’s not much if it’s, like, doing all the spirit mumbo jumbos and adding time onto a person’s life, but that’s a lot of money for university students, and both of us let out a disbelieving scream.

Ichigo let go of my shoulder and snapped up the stand, angrily demanding to know how each little rice cake could be worth so much, while I turned to the samples and began quickly counting. I’m not exactly the best at math, but it was easily more than ¥100,000, and they were giving them out for free!

We talked back and forth, with him saying there was no way we could purchase something that could be swallowed in one mouthful like that, and I… Well… I took one. Then another.

Then, another.

I would have gotten the fourth flavor, red bean, which… I’ll admit, I’ve spent more time thinking about it then I’d care to admit, but Ichigo caught my wrist and asked what I was doing. I said that, if they were so expensive, then they had to be worth the price! He said… something… I don’t remember… it was probably smart, but I was already tossing the first rice cake into my mouth.

It was the chocolate.

…

…

…

Sorry, umm, my stomach is kind of… gurgling… a lot. Like, I’d be less noisy if I was humming right now. But just thinking about the chocolate, it’s kind of setting me off. I want something to munch on, to just fill my mouth with and chew and chew, because I can perfectly remember how wonderful and delicious that sweet chocolate flavor was.

The mochi was cold, soft, and melt-in-your mouth delicious. I don’t think I’m really capable of describing it too well. Sweet, but dark, and the creamy interior tasted like my teeth were cutting through a chocolate snowdrop. I’ve had plenty of chocolate before, but frozen chocolate, chilly and cold and so very tasty, it’s something I don’t think I’ll be able to forget.

I must have surprised him, because Ichigo let go of my wrist. I know I was talking a lot, holding my cheeks and just fawning over the flavor. I remember moving my hips and feeling like I could dance.

He asked something, but the flavor was just too good. I could barely think, and it felt like breathing was taking enough of my focus. The chocolate melted over my tongue, down my throat, and slopped into my already-full belly.

And then it was gone.

…

I guess I understand why I reacted the way that I did. I was immediately disappointed, almost like chewing a really tasty piece of gum that loses its flavor within a couple of seconds. There wasn’t any sort of aftertaste, almost as if I’d not eaten anything at all.

And so I replaced it with the vanilla. Then the green tea, and both were good, even great! But that chocolate was… perfect. It was so tasty that I’m still hungry for it, wanting it. I haven’t eaten anything chocolate ever since because I’m worried that it’ll ruin the memory of that flavor!

Well… except for the chocolate teacakes… But that’s cause we’re out of stuff, and I’m just… hungry… Uggggh.

And it’s so frustrating to think about, because my greedy fat fingers went for another, and that’s when my rubber band broke.

If you’ve ever burst a button, or ripped your pants, it’s an immediately familiar sensation. All of the air seems to flood out of the room all at once, which was even more alarming, because we were outside. I looked down, knowing exactly what I’d felt, and then saw the strip of the band hitting the display before falling down to the grass near my feet.

Things get a little… fuzzier, from here. Ichigo said something, and I know I responded, but I don’t know what we said. I was already focused on the pressure that was forming inside of my middle, or rather, the void that had seemed to open inside of me.

I ate a big breakfast. I had steamed rice, tsukemono, and more than a couple strips of fatty bacon. Then, I’d had a plate of snacks after getting to the festival. Fried foods, bits of dough. Finally, I’d just eaten three mouthfuls of mochi, and it was as if I hadn’t taken a single bite.

Ichigo heard my tummy when I rumbled. He’d moved in front of me as my stomach vibrated again, and my hands flung down to catch my skirt before it could tumble to the ground. I don’t know if he saw the rubber band, but he certainly saw that. He asked if I was okay, and I said that I thought so, but that I must just be ‘kinda’ hungry.

My stomach rumbled like a sleeping tiger, a sensation so weird and growly that I was aware how it made me quiver and jiggle. I tried to pull my skirt back together, and was alarmed when I couldn’t reach as close as I had in the morning.

Then I grumbled again, and I felt when my tummy grew fatter. My hands were right there, just near my belly button, and I could feel my middle pushing into my thumbs. I probably started blushing, tugging uselessly at the fringes of my skirt in denial, futzing and fidgeting before, with a sudden gasp of pressure, my body puffed outwards, and I burst the first button on my undershirt.

Ichigo was standing right in front of me, and then suddenly he was touching me, and he took a step back as I gasped and he said something out in alarm. I bounced off my boyfriend, and I was only getting bigger as the void in my stomach became something entirely different.

A sense of bloat slammed into me so harshly that I almost fell over. I felt my eyes go wide, my knees go weak, and I was still holding my skirt while my undershirt burst another button, then another.

I remember shouting something like, “What’s happening?!”, but it probably came out as a grunt or a groan. I felt a tightness in my chest, as if I suddenly was struggling to breathe. Too much, I’d eaten too much, drank too much. I couldn’t focus on anything but the bloat inside of me, and how I could feel myself now rapidly gaining.

I wish I could explain it better, but it almost felt like all I could do was focus on myself. I wasn’t… stretching, if that makes any sense. Like, my stomach wasn’t pulled super tight. I was gaining weight, inches of chub and handfuls of fat. An increase of sensation building up on my middle, then on my thighs and my hips. Like slowly being lowered into a warm tub, I could feel more of me, but I was breathing hard and trying to hold it together, until the first button burst on my blazer.

*Thoop* came the noise from my jacket. *Aroouuugggghhh* came the growl from my fattening belly.

I started to panic. It was my lowest button, which then showed my skirt, my hands, and how I’d burst several of my undershirt buttons. Then came the next. I was saying something to Ichigo when I realized that my chest was growing too, and it made me want to scream out in shock.

It wasn’t air, or liquid, or anything I can really say. Just this bloat that was so bad that I was losing the battle to hold onto my breath. I lost sight of my belly beneath my breasts, still trying to hold up my skirt even while my weight now flubbed over my wrists. It never even occurred to worry about what was happening to my hips and my legs. I just couldn’t see them… but I could feel as they swelled, and I continued to grow.

It's not as… flabby, as it might sound here. There was a shape to it that… well, if an hourglass held enough sand for a couple of days… Suddenly, I could feel my chest rising to meet with my chin, which at this point had largely merged with my neck. My face had become round, my biceps became meat-packs filled with cream, my thighs had torn my stockings to shreds, and I was still holding what remained of the waistband of my torn-apart skirt. My hips had completely snapped the threading, but I was more worried about the hills that were rising up into my face.

I think I burped when Yoruichi arrived, suddenly standing over me and saying something too quick for me to understand. My breathing was worse now, as if I’d run out of room for fat in my body and it was beginning to compress into my lungs. I was still growing out, more than a pound a second, with the weight beginning to force my arms wide. I could hear my outfit being splintered by my body, my belly still roaring with wanting noise, and, worst of all, I was still thinking about that chocolate mochi…

I must have looked frightened. She was talking to me in a low, calm voice, both of her hands pressing into my exposed stomach. There was a shocking sensation before her fingers closed, she circled my navel, and her finger went up towards my chin, tearing through the few unpopped buttons along the way…

She looked angry. A part of me wanted to apologize. Another part wanted to deny I’d even taken one, because I guess there’s just a big dumb idiot who lives in my brain. All I could manage was a glutted, “Ooouggghh,” as her fingers traced from my cleavage to my collarbone, before, chillingly, over the tips of my breasts.

I felt like a cow. Huge, helpless, only able to barely mutter and moan while her fingers came down to my hips and returned to my belly.

When she completed the circuit, I felt a shock so harsh that it would have knocked me onto my massive fat ass had Ichigo not caught me. Abruptly, the bloated sensation faded, but the rest stayed. I’d torn through my skirt, my stockings, my shirt… I’d even torn through the tops of my shoes, with my round cankles and fat feet having lifted through the tops, though I couldn’t see that.

The only thing that still clung to me was what little now remained of my blazer, and the red ribbon from my uniform tied in a bow, resting atop of my naked chest.

******************************************************************************

Sorry. I had to get up and just… walk around, for a minute.

I undid my robe. So I’m just sitting here nude now, as big now as I’d puffed into then. Probably even bigger, given how much I’ve eaten since… Kisuke said that’d be expected. My body has yet to adjust to its much larger mass.

I don’t want it to adjust… but, I suppose, I don’t really have a choice here, do I?

More than my stomach had been rumbling. Ichigo had been freaking out, trying to help me before grabbing Yoruichi, and then trying to help the people who’d begun fainting around us. I’d begun to emit a huge amount of spiritual pressure. My ‘latent abilities,’ as Kisuke explained, unleashed by the special makeup that they’d infused into the mochi.

I don’t think anyone got hurt. Well, beside me, since shredding an outfit… does things, to a girl… I’ve had pressure marks from where my panties tore, and my blazer. My feet have been sore all day, but that’s probably because I’m carrying so much more, and I’m just… exhausted. I’m tired of being awake. Tired of writing.

Tired of being fat.

I don’t want to be stuck like this. I don’t want love handles, or to be drooling every time I think about the word ‘chocolate.’ I don’t want to feel like a kid being scolded, either! I mean, this is their fault as much as my own!!!

Mgghhaaaggghh…

I don’t know what else to talk about. Kisuke used some of his Moments of Midnight bottles to black out the stall, of which I’m grateful, and it doesn’t seem like anything bad happened to anybody else.

I think that’d have made things way worse. I can… well, like Ichigo said, we can get through this together. He’s promised to help me out, and… I guess I do feel a little bit better having talked so much, even if it’s just to myself.

Future Orihime? I’m sorry if this feels like I’m being such a downer. I’m tired, and just don’t have the energy to… try, if that makes sense. I hope that it does, because the last thing I need right now is not to understand myself.

Tomorrow

I’ve bigger things to worry about than ending this on a cheery note… Namely, me.

******************************************************************************

Okay. Hello.

It’s been about ten minutes. I think I’ve calmed down enough now.

I got up, closed my laptop, went to the bedroom, and… I watched him for a little while. I didn’t lay down, just went to his side of the bed near the desk, sat there, and just… watched.

Of all the things I wish I could put into words, that’s what I wish I could describe most. There’s this feeling that I get in my heart when I watch him sleep, laying on his side with his arm picked up above his head. He’s stopped wearing a blanket over his head, so I think I’ve finally stopped snoring in my sleep.

…

Now, I’m worried if I’ll be doing that again… ugh…

It’s sort of an uncomfortable experience, honestly. Just being home. Everything is familiar except I’m what’s different. It’s my chubby thighs squishing together, it’s my big belly wobbling up and down. The gap between the bed and my  dresser isn’t too small, it’s that my butt is as wide as the freaking fridge.

I make this apartment look claustrophobic. I make the doorframe look like a doggy door, and I am terrified what will happen when I lay down next to my boyfriend on our too-tiny bed.

(* ´ ○｀)=3

He’s awake. I’m sure of it. There’s no way that he isn’t now. Our apartment is on the second floor, and every step I make creaks the wood. He can probably hear my body rubbing up on itself as I walk, honestly.

He’s not said anything. I’m sure that’s for my sake. Not wanting me to think that I’ve woken him, but just waiting for me to say something so he can comfort me and kiss me and lay me down next to him, because I don’t know if I can do it myself.

I want to write a bit more. Talk a bit more. Because I think I can… say something, try to describe all of this to myself. Wrap my own head around this, and try to… try.

Okay, Orihime?

---

There’s a sensation of friction between my thighs and my stomach, or where my breasts weigh down onto the top of my belly. I can feel it beneath my arms too, a roll of flesh bunched up between my shoulders and breasts. It’s changed the way that I walk, the way that I stand…

And I just… keep… playing with it!!

It’s like I bit my tongue or something, but on a much, much, much bigger scale. And I think I know why it is now.

When I’m walking, my arms rotate almost like a little huff-puff motion, as if it were helping me keep up some sort of momentum. Kinda like if I were an overweight train engine.

Which, hey, at least that makes sense.

But, when I’m just standing, I noticed that my left hand keeps wanting to hold myself, wrapping around the front of my stomach while my right wants to rest on my hip. It’s a pose that would fit a woman wearing a maternity dress.

So, maybe that’s why I’m doing it. Maybe my mind thinks of it like I was suddenly pregnant, even though I’m pretty sure I’m just… you know… obese…

Woo… (✿T-T)尸~~

Honestly, that’s probably got something to do with it. It’s a fitting pose for a really fat girl, even though it makes my tummy look even bigger.

(❁´-ワ-`)

I’m sorry, journal. I feel like this entry has been so much more negative than I really want it to be.

I have to take a shower, I have to go to bed, but I don’t want to do either of those things. But I’m really, really scared, because when I took it off, I ripped the arms on my robe.

I knew it would… but, when it happened, it made me almost want to cry in frustration. It bothers me so much because I bathe twice a day, and this morning, when I took a shower, I was only one-hundred-and-seventy pounds.

And, just like the robe, I’m scared of lying down next to him. What if the blankets don’t fit, or if the bed gets misshapen? What if I’m too warm and he doesn’t want to lay next to me or to cuddle with me?

I’m scared of waking up tomorrow. I know what’ll happen. I’ll still be like this. But I’m scared all the same. I don’t want to go to bed because, once I fall asleep, I’ll wake up, and that’ll be that.

…

…

So… what?

Oh no, you got super chunky, how awful. Your robe doesn’t fit, how bad for you. You might not fit in your shower, terrible terrible terrible.

I sound so WHINEY!!!!

This is, by far, the LEAST major problem you’ve ever face, Orihime!

You were KIDNAPPED by ARRANCAR! You’ve seen your friends MUTILATED trying to save your fat ass! You watched Ichigo DIE! For you, dummy! Ichigo, Chad, Uryū, Rukia, even Renji and other people, other souls, that you’d barely even met!! How many people nearly gave their lives to rescue you?! You were fifteen, and you were involved in an all-out war!!

Now, you’re an adult, and okay sure, maybe you feel like a really, really, really big kid! It’s not like you’re wearing sundresses and Ichigo has a mustache or something, but you are far more capable than some… weighty woes!

You think Ichigo’s going to care that you’re a bit overweight?! You’ve seen how he looks at you, you’ve felt what you do to him! You’re worried that he’s gonna start judging you because your clothes don’t fit?! Come on, girl!

A diet isn’t the end of the world! It’s the same thing that you would have probably tried to do after finding out you were a fatty this morning! It’ll be a struggle, of course it will, but it’s just calorie counting and exercising! Tomorrow, you’ll get some new clothes, get some new shoes, maybe just one or two snacks for your trouble, and then start planning out the actual diet!

How hard could that possibly be?!