Dungeon Item Shop - Chapter 172: Hmm (Patreon)

“You can do it!” says Fresh. All of the tiredness is washed away from her pale face, as she clenches her fists in excitement. Basil sits behind her, sideways on a chair and is leaned back against the wall. The priestess holds a cold bottle of tea against her damp forehead. She apparently doesn’t share Fresh’s current morning energy at this spectacle.

Veli the fairy, is on the counter, doing push-ups with one arm, as his other is still in the sling. She isn’t sure how challenging this actually is for him, given his meager body-weight. But to be fair, his muscles are equally as small. The fact that he is almost up to ten is really impressive for her, since she can’t even do a single one-handed push-up.

“Nine,” counts Jubilee, watching as the fairy, already long since having started shaking, tries to push his way up off of the wood a tenth time. But he seems to be struggling to get the last one in, his body and wings trembling from the strain on his core and single arm. Jubilee crosses their arms, narrowing their eyes. “Do it. Or you’re fired.”

“Jubilee!” scolds Fresh. “Don’t listen to Jubilee, Veli!”

This threat seems to have been enough for Veli nonetheless, who manages to rise to the top of his tenth one-handed push up. His descent after that is less than graceful however, as he simply flops down onto his front a second later, rolling over onto his good arm. Panting, he lifts his head up sideways to look at Jubilee who lets out a half-disappointed sigh.

“Good enough. Next time, I expect you to do the drop right too though.”

“Y-yes, my queen,” pants Veli, already sweaty this early in the day.

“I told you to stop calling me that.”

“Yes, your majesty,” says Veli, shakily trying to get back up.

Shamrock comes over and sets a cracked open candy down in front of him, already having gotten used to ignoring Jubilee’s death-glares, by the looks of it. “Good job,” he nods down to Veli once.

“That’s coming out of your pay!” barks Jubilee at the giant.

Shamrock shrugs indifferently, walking over to Basil. He reaches over the counter and takes her bottle from her hands, opening it for her. “I have everything I want already.”

Basil smiles a tired smile at him and takes the bottle back. “Thanks,” she mutters, taking a long drink before pressing it back against her head.

Jubilee places their hands on their hips. “You good?”

“I think I’m getting sick,” says Basil.

“You’re probably just tired, shit-head,” says Jubilee, pointing at Fresh. “If she can manage to stay awake with her empty head, so can you.”

Fresh scratches her cheek, looking at Basil. Sure, she’s tired too. But ever since she had gotten her class, the dry, exhausting tiredness of sleeplessness hasn’t seemed to bother her as much as it might once have. “Go to bed, Basil,” suggests Fresh. “I’ll cover for you.”

Basil shakes her head. “No, I’ll be fine, thank you.”

“That’s what you get for getting roped into one of her ideas,” lectures Jubilee.

Basil frowns, opening the bottle to take another sip. “I wasn’t ‘roped in’. We had a very fun and productive night, right?” she asks. Fresh nods excitedly, glad that Basil sees it the same way that she does. But, Basil is clearly under the weather and as party-leader, she isn’t able to morally allow her tired and perhaps, even sick, friend from working without rest. But she knows that Basil won’t go unless she asks long enough to start crying.

“Shamrooock~?” asks Fresh. The man turns to look at her. “Can you bring Basil up to bed, please?” she pleads, clasping her hands together.

Basil lifts her head, looking at her in confusion. “Huh? No, I’m fine! I just need a minute to warm u-“

The ground shakes as Shamrock vaults over the counter, his heavy, metal boots smashing down against the floorboards, with the full weight of his body above them. Without a word, he reaches down and hoists a frightened Basil off of her chair and up into the air, over his shoulder. Basil hits her fists against his back.

“Put me down, Shamrock!”

“I will,” agrees Shamrock, turning around and walking to and up the stairs, indifferent to the squirming captive on his shoulder.

“Good night, Basil!” calls Fresh up the stairs. A second later there is a soft thudding and a squeak as the man apparently tosses her into her bed, as unceremoniously as if unloading a sack of tubers. He makes his way back down a few seconds later, light one person.

Jubilee sighs. “We’re putting everything on sale,” they say, getting right to the point.

“Huh?” Fresh blinks. “Everything? Even the rings?”

“Even the rings,” says Jubilee, pushing an open box of the copper rings to the side.

“Are you sure?” asks Fresh.

“Wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t, goo-brain,” argues Jubilee. “We need the attention.”

“We do?”

“Haven’t you been reading the ledgers?”

Fresh scratches her cheek. “Uh… no? But isn’t the store always full?”

“Yeah, of shit-heads who never spend any money.”

A voice rings out from the side. “I- I have a suggestion,” says Veli, timidly raising his hand. There is a smear of dough on his cheek. The three of them look his way. Nobody says anything.

“Well?” asks Jubilee impatiently.

“Ah!” Veli jumps upright, straightening his posture. “When I fly above the city, I see a lot of your bags,” he says, pointing to the stack of tote-bags on the shelf behind the counter.

“So?” asks Jubilee.

“I rarely see any on the other plazas though, only on this one and in the entrance area.” Jubilee thinks for a while, their hand on the chin of their mask. “Maybe there are people there who don’t know about the store?”

“Hmm…” Jubilee thinks out loud. “We’re right on the main path to the dungeon, so anyone who wants to go there stops by us. But…”

Fresh hits her fist into her palm, realizing. “- But anyone who doesn’t want to go to the dungeon never will!”

Jubilee nods in agreement. “The other plazas have mostly crafters and workshops. They don’t come down this way often. But if we could make something that they want, like tools, they’ll go out of their way to get to us.” Jubilee nods in approval. “Good idea, pipsqueak. Your employment is safe for another day.”

“Jubilee! Stop being mean to Veli!” scolds Fresh, looking down at him. “Don’t worry Veli, you can work here as long as you need to.”

Veli looks away, shuffling his feet nervously. “T-thank you.”

“Fuck’s sake!” barks Jubilee at her, placing their hands on their hips. “Do you have to spoil another one?!”

“Huh? Another one?” asks Fresh, not sure what Jubilee means. Jubilee lifts their finger, pointing at Shamrock’s helmet, where there are clear crumbs to see sticking onto the outside of the metal slits. Fresh laughs quietly, watching as Jubilee’s arm raises higher, pointing to the ceiling. From up above, she can hear Basil kicking and flopping around in the sleep that she has apparently already fallen into. “Oh…”

“Yeah. Oh,” says Jubilee, rolling their eyes.

“Wait, does that include you too, Jubilee?” laughs Fresh.

“Please, as if I could catch a fucking break around you people,” snaps Jubilee, waving her off.

“Mm,” says Fresh, nodding understandingly. “Anyways, what do you want for dinner tonight?”

“Let’s do soup, we haven’t had that in a while.”

“Okay!” agrees Fresh, waiting for Jubilee to realize who was going to cook that soup.

“Ah fuck,” sighs Jubilee from the side a second later, apparently having connected the dots.

Fresh smiles and asks, as if she didn’t know. “What’s up, Jubilee?”

Jubilee looks at her and then crosses their arms, looking away. “Nothing.”

“Mm,” says Fresh, smiling a devious smile that could only belong to a cruel, horrible witch. She makes a mental note to buy a lot of vegetables later today. It would be bad if a flu started spreading around their home. She hopes that Basil is just tired.

“Mhm,” says Jubilee, crossing their arms.

“Hmm,” says Shamrock, his breastplate heaving as he does the same.

Veli looks at the three of them, almost falling a step backwards, as the air from Shamrock’s lungs pushes against him. He is apparently confused as to what exactly is happening here. Shrugging, he crosses his one arm too, mimicking Jubilee as he also lets out a perplexed - “Hmm.”