Rock Cocks on Monday (Patreon)

Hey everyone. Just letting you all know that we'll be back on Monday with our Rock Cocks update.

The rest of this post will focus on depressing political drama and our anxieties consuming us, so if this is something you're already upset about yourself and you'd like to not further depress yourselves and be reminded of the failings of the United States of America, I get it and feel free to click out.

Just...a fucking insurrection. Any time we think that it can't get worse, it does. Any time we think they can't go lower, they do. And even on a day we THANKFULLY managed to win the senate, they retaliate with actual fucking terrorism. It's terrifying. There won't be any healing in this country. They just won't allow it. They will fight to the fucking death for a man who could not give less of a shit about them. It's sickening. It's disturbing. It's TERRIFYING.

And what's worse is that we're sitting here, just waiting for any sort of retribution. For any sort of justice. We've waited all day, and all we've been given are vague legal threats with no action. Arrests only just trickling in, despite the ACTUAL TERRORISM fucking LIVESTREAMED by them. They had ZIPTIES. Some of them were planning EXECUTIONS. It's horrifying knowing what they were able to accomplish, how much worse it could have actually been, and where can we even possibly go from here.

Leslie and I just sat here in a perpetual state of fear and anguish. Just the weight of everything fell down and crushed us emotionally. We're deep, deep, deep in the south. We're surrounded by those flags on all four roads surrounding us, some of them even flying proudly outside of our family's houses. I've spent 4 years now trying to convey the fear and anxiety I've had that has now become worse than I ever imagined, always gaslit every step of the way. We haven't talked to anyone in these last two days and I fear for the conversations to come, the discovery that this event STILL wasn't enough to sway them. Or even how they'll react if there even is a modicum of justice enacted on that man. What excuses they'll spew. Even just typing this makes me feel sick to my stomach. We may never be able to put any sort of pro-LGBT stickers on our car for fear of our safety in our own fucking hometown, but these people can proudly wear those hats and fly those and WORSE flags and storm the capitol building of our country with the police and 100+ republican representatives on their side.

I don't know how to continue like normal. I can't distract myself, I can't ignore it even if I wanted to, I can't focus on anything else. Just the dread of it all is so encompassing, so overwhelming, all I can do is just...sit here and wait. Leslie and I together, sitting on the couch, on our phones, dreading the moment when it gets worse...or when nothing happens at all.

I'm sorry. I know I'm not the only one hurting. I try to be optimistic and give people hope. And I'm still hoping that maybe someone will actually push through and at least impeach him. After Wednesday though, it's very, very hard for me to feel anything but anxiety at what's to come. Hopefully by Monday, things will be..."better" enough for us to get this next page done. At the very least, our hands will stop shaking by then. Until then, just...hang in there. Please. Even through the fear and the dread, just...do what you can. We'll see you soon.