Home Artists Posts Import Register

Content

Well I don't like leave thing half finished. So here the rest of the page.

Any critique are welcome. Sorry for my bad grammar in advance.

Files

Comments

ChaosOverlordZ

is it missing the final page?

Dmitriy

Page 9. "DIGNOSTIC COMPLETED" -> "DIAGNOSTIC COMPLETED"

D Banks

Not bad

Roxanne Giling

awesome, these additional texts :D

Arthur Yeung

@ibenz009 Where does the name "Ygoil" come from? I'm not sure if it's a misspelling or a reference to something else.

Stormfries

i love youre mtf transformationen!! so sexy good and evil

Asani

Thank you so much for starting and now finishing your text version!! Attached are some edits:

Asani

x.y.z.s = page.panel.text_bubble.sentence not present = no change () = optional [] = pick one {} = comments 7.3 [This is yours / You lost this / Sorry / Apologies] 7.5 It's hurt... => [That hurt... / It hurts...] 8.1 Naughty girl! Bullies deserve [punishment / to be punished]. 8.4 Stay out of this 9.4 DIAGNOSTIC COMPLETE CORE DAMAGE MINIMAL [REGENERATING / REFORMING] OUTER SHELL ESTIMATING TIME FOR REPAIR...

Asani

10.1 Everything has been prepared, Master. I understand your song now and am ready to become your instrument. 10.2 Thank you for [this / your] gift, oh Great Lord Beyond the Stars. I shall be reborn according to your will. 10.3.2 My my, you managed to get past my angels but (I'm afraid) you are too late. 10.4 [Stop / End] this madness! or I'm going to kill you! 10.5 Witness my rebirth, Elise!! Witness humanity's future!

Asani

11.1 Yes! I can feel it. Replace my worthless flesh with the gift of crystal( and metal)! {NOTE: 'of /the/ crystal' would not be ideal, since she's talking about what is replacing her flesh.} 11.5.2 Edith is no more. Behold Ygoil, grand apostle and loyal servant of the Great Crystal! {That comma placement is super extra important. Or replace it with an '!'.} 12.1 Come, Elise! (My )Master requires your flesh as well. You will be remade into an exquisite instrument( for the Crystal). 12.2.1.2 Although powerful, she clearly lacks combat experience. 12.3 These attacks are sloppy. 12.4 And she left herself wide open.

Asani

13.3.1 [As if!! / Not yet!!] 13.6.1 [I have you now! / Got you!] {Mayhaps Elise feels like quoting Vader...} 13.6.2 Wait?! How dare yo- 14.4.1 How do I free those two? At least save them [before you meet your god / because nothing can save you]. 14.6.1 Trying to kill our beloved owner... (what a )naughty girl. 14.6.3 Damnit, they regenerated already!?

Asani

15.1 & 15.2 {All caps to match page 9?} 15.4.1 angel => angels young => {delete, since she uses it in the next panel} 15.5.1 I (must) bid you adieu, young Elise. Until we meet again. 15.6.1 A Few Days Later 15.6.2 What was Edith doing with a basement this big under her shop? 15.7.1 Sigh... I don't get paid enough for this crap. Here's some more of that junk we found at the warehouse. 15.7.2.2 This town has gone to hell( in a handbasket).